>Lessons Learned The Hard Way

>I never really know what I am going to find when I pull out an old notebook. I am about to place a Mary Kay order and my aunt asked me to look up a color eyeshadow and lipliner she used a few years ago, so I went to my notebook that held all my MK order stuff. I kept a list of the regular products my customers used so I could keep those products in stock. I haven’t kept stock for a while, so it’s been at least three to four years since I have been in this notebook. As I was looking through the pages for my aunts favorite stuff I discovered a list I had made in the back of this notebook’s pages titled, Lessons Learned the Hard Way. It might have been up to seven years ago that this list was made.

So I thought I would share: (paranthesis and italics not in original list)

Lessons Learned the Hard Way 
 
1. Parents are not stupid
2. Teenage and young adult men usually are “dogs” (yet they will rise to the bar if the ladies will set them)
3. Love is not a feeling, it is a choice
4. Your sins really do find you out
5. Actions do have consequences
6. Marriage is work
7. Sex is for one woman and one man in marriage for one life
8. Real intimacy comes through communication and trust not sex
9. A guy cannot make me whole
10. A baby cannot make me whole
11. The borrower truly is slave to the lender
12. Friends usually are not “friends forever” (but there truly can be a forever faithful few in your life)
13. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder (physical absence with present consistent communication yes, but absence with zero communication, I still think no) 
14. The love of money really is the root of all evil
15. If your parents tell you they love you and never put you down in any way count your blessings (I never realized how special my parents were until I began ministering to youth through the Pregnancy Resource Center)
16. High School is really only a very very very small part of our entire life
17. God’s way is the best way
18. Labor and delivery is the easy part
19. People are naturally bad we have to be taught how to be good and then choose to walk in it
20. Abortion is murder to an unborn child and a mother’s spirit
21. Dating is overrated
22. Bad company does corrupt good morals
23. What you watch and hear does affect how you think and your thoughts eventually become your actions
24. I don’t have all the answers
25. I am far from perfect and have too many logs in my own eye to condemn you over the splinter in yours
26. The devil is real and he does not like me
27. Jesus is real and he forgives completely those who ask and mean it and walk away from what they asked forgiveness for
28. You cannot hide from God
29. Words do hurt
 
 
So got any hard learned lessons to add to the list? 
If so add away 🙂  

>Choices

>

Esau said, “Behold I am about to die;
so of what use then is the birthright to me?”
Genesis 25:32
 
In Genesis 25, we meet Esau and Jacob, twin brothers, sons of Isaac, and sibling rivals from the womb. We meet them as newborns and then immediately as men, or at least no longer boys.
 
We read of Jacob tempting Esau with some stew. If you have more than one child, I bet you have witnessed a scene similar to this played out in your own home. For that matter, you might recall having been a part of a moment similar to this one that we read about in the Scriptures.
 
We can go all the way back to the garden and see that from then until present day, the way of temptation has not changed. When the enemy of our souls is able to get us focused on our appetites, on our emotions, and on our pride, we stumble and oftentimes we fall. Esau falls for the temptation.
 
Esau is a man completely focused on the temporal. His main concern is the here and now and his immediate satisfaction. He is only focused on the growling of his stomach, and he doesn’t even contemplate for a moment the price he is about to pay for this one bowl of stew, that “red stuff.” Esau is a man who makes his decisions according to the pleasure of the moment and the gratification of his flesh. He is not concerned about the possible consequences that could come as a result of such hasty decisions.
 
How many of us are living in the consequences of decisions made focused on immediate gratification?
 
God’s Word tells us that we are not to look at the things that are seen, but at the things that are unseen; for the things that are seen are temporal, but the things that are unseen are eternal (2 Corinthians 4:18). He warns us in Romans 8:6–8 that the mind set on the flesh is death and is hostile toward God and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.
 
Our flesh demands immediate gratification. Our flesh wants to feel good, but if we are in Christ, we are not to obey our flesh. In Christ we have the power to say no when before Him we were completely helpless.
 
Our flesh doesn’t see the big picture. It is not concerned with the future. It is not concerned about anyone or anything. Our flesh simply wants its own way, and it wants it in the now.
 
Esau’s desire for this one bowl of red stuff changes the history of his entire future and his children’s future. Esau’s decision cost him his birthright, his claim to be the leader of the family after the death of Isaac. It cost him his right to receive a double portion of the inheritance of Isaac. Esau’s choice went deeper than just a bowl of stew.
 
Esau’s choice gives us insight into the condition of his heart, just as our choices give us insight into the condition of our own hearts. What do your choices in life tell you about your heart?
 
Oh Father,
 
When we have called on Jesus Christ for salvation, when we have repented and turned to You through Him, we are filled with Your Holy Spirit, and through Him we receive power to not be slaves to our flesh. Oh Father, help me to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and to focus on the things above and not the things that are on this earth Oh Father, might You give me a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of You
(Ephesians 1:17).
 
My Jesus, it is in Your name that I pray,
Amen.
 

>Tongue Taming

>

Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit.
Proverbs 18:21

As I serve in ministry in the church and share with others outside the church the most common complaint against the church, the most ready reason for not attending or getting involved in church, and the most heralded hurt that happens in the church, seems to be rooted in words. 

The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels,
And they go down into the innermost parts of the body.
Proverbs 18:8

Whether it be gossip or just others using their words as a weapon or even worse taking God’s Word and twisting it and using it as a weapon to hurt another person. This weapon is to be used to defeat the spiritual forces of darkness it is not to be unsheathed to defeat and destroy man or as an attempt to beat someone down. The Word is to be used in love not in spite and not in a spirit of superiority.

How long will you torment me
And crush me with words?
Job 19:2
 
We ladies have been given the stereotype of “gossipers”, yet please know that I am well aware that men are just as gossipy. Male and female, we need to watch what we say and we also need to be careful what and who we choose to listen to…even if, no especially if, we personally know we don’t believe a word they say… 
 
An evildoer listens to wicked lips;
A liar pays attention to a destructive tongue.
Proverbs 17:4
 
This is the way of the world…
 
…we live in a day of hearsay, when few people pass along information that is precise and reliable. Do you? Are you careful about what you say? Do you have the facts? Do you offer proof that the information you are conveying is correct? While there are occasions when it’s appropriate to pass along needed and serious information to the right sources, there’s a growing preoccupation with rumor and slander. Half truths and innuendos become juicy morsels in the mouths of unreliable gossips. There is no way to measure the number of people who have been hurt by rumor, exaggeration, and hearsay.
Perhaps you have suffered this yourself.
Be careful what you say. Be careful how you say it. Be careful that you send the right message, that you send it to the right person, and that you do so with the right motive. ~ Swindoll
 
My husband and I have often discussed that one of the hardest parts of parenting is teaching our children how to discern between “need shared information” and “tattle-telling”. We have tried to teach them when and as the opportunity arises because we just have not discovered another way to get the point across.
 
One thing we do is ask them to seek out the reason they are sharing the information they are sharing.
 
Is it just to get someone caught and in trouble?
Is this something that will hurt this person if not shared?
Is this something that the person asked you not to share?
And if they did why and would you want them to share this on you?
And if you are sharing it, why are you sharing it?
Is it just to show what you know about them?
Or is it because you know they need help concerning what they shared and you know you can’t help?
Are you sharing up or side to side?
 
We try to teach them that there will be times in their own lives that they will want someone to keep a secret for them. There are times when we can address an issue with an individual and correct them and keep it all between them and us. And if they are truly sharing to help someone, they will share up, not side to side. Which means they will share with someone who has the power to help not just another “friend” who can do nothing.
 
We try to teach our girls that they need to be each others best friends not each others worst enemies. An enemy seeks to get you caught, a friend seeks to help you out of the trap. An enemy wants to throw you in the fire, while a friend seeks to snatch you from the fire. An enemy will reveal your secret to hurt you, yet a friend only reveals when they realize it is the only way they can get help.
 
There is a time to keep a secret.
I love what Swindoll says in the following quote,
 
There is an unexplainable air of mystery about a woman, an unpredictability that men find intriguing. Esther’s ability to restrain herself only heightens the mystery—especially her verbal restraint. She knew much more than she told. She could keep a secret. Verbal restraint is fast becoming a forgotten virtue. ~ Swindoll
 
A woman who can control her tongue is indeed a woman of virtue.
Ladies are you a friend who can keep a secret?
Can you be trusted with the hurts and failures and frustrations of another without passing judgment or without fueling a fire?
Are you still stuck in the toddler/child cycle of the tattle-tale?
Can someone come to you and share their hurts or are you the one that causes others to cringe because they know you just saw them fail, falter, or stumble?
Can you correct, rebuke, exhort, and keep it between you and them?
Or do you always feel the need to share what you saw, what you did, what you know?
 
Learn to keep confidences. Come to be known for keeping secrets! It’s part of having character marked by strength and dignity. ~ Swindoll
 
Taming the tongue…
A soothing tongue is a tree of life,
But perversion in it crushes the spirit.
Proverbs 15:4
She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
Proverbs 31:26

 
But it’s more than just speaking in truth and with kindness, it’s also knowing when not to speak.
I read a quote somewhere that said something like, “never miss a good opportunity to shut up”.
 
When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable,
But he who restrains his lips is wise.
Proverbs 10:19
 
The damage that has been done in and outside of the church, in families, in friendships, in workplaces, and even in our nation, over hear-say and over sharing information that needed not be shared… oh my it’s massive.
 
O LORD, who may abide in Your tent?
Who may dwell on Your holy hill?
He who walks with integrity, and works righteousness,
And speaks truth in his heart.
He does not slander with his tongue,
Nor does evil to his neighbor,
Nor takes up a reproach against his friend;
Proverbs 15:2-3
 
I know the hurt of words well…
I imagine most of us do.
May we learn from our own hurts and make the choice to not use our own words to hurt another the way we have been hurt ourselves.


>Dragging…

>So I have not posted since… the 12th I think, that was last Wednesday. That’s pretty unusual for me. I am usually a daily poster, but the past few days have been quite dragging. I am in a place today of feeling like a weight is baring down on me. It’s a strange tired. It’s a tired that I usually can shake out of, but today it has lingered on.

Ever had those days?

It’s not a blah day really, it’s truly an unseen heaviness.

It could simply be that thirty-five is creeping up on me and I am feeling the weight of too many nights in a row of not getting in bed before midnight… 

It could be that I am still in the hormone slump of my female stuff, as I continue on. I find myself anaemic quite often…

Or it could be the spiritual oppression that always hits around this time of year. The enemy of my soul always seems to up his anty during my church’s fall drama The Judgment Seat. It is well under way, opening night is two weeks from today.

Either way… I have been short with my girls for no real apparent reasons and I don’t like myself at all right now. I feel tired, weary, heavy, and grumpy. My shoulders are slumped and my back is not straight and my head is not held high. I am by no means at this moment rejoicing in the Lord, or counting anything all joy, I most certainly could not be a light to anyone in this state of my flesh.

So as I shove down my second cup of coffee and pour my third in a carry-out cup, we head out the door for basketball practice…

Tonight I think I will plan to be in the bed before midnight, no matter what gets left undone.

>Power of a Praying Husband

>

Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was barren;
and the Lord answered him
and Rebekah his wife conceived.
Genesis 25:21
 
Once again we see the power of prayer, this time through Isaac as he prayed on behalf of his wife. I believe Isaac was interceding on behalf of his wife and not asking on behalf of himself. Here we see how a godly man is to respond to the concerns of his wife.
 
I am sure Rebekah’s heart was aching over her inability to conceive. Isaac, especially at this point in history, could easily have chosen to put Rebekah away and choose another wife that would bear him a son, but Isaac loved Rebekah.
 
Isaac also knew the miracle of his own birth. He knew that the God of his father, Abraham, had the power to open and close the womb and the power to give man strength and the power to take it away. Isaac also knew that through him all the nations of the earth were to be blessed. He knew that his father’s descendants were to be as many as the stars in the sky and the sand on the seashore.
 
In this knowledge and in this faith, Isaac sought the mercy of God upon his wife. God honored his prayer, and Rebekah did conceive.

As her belly grew, she felt a great struggle within her, and Rebekah went to inquire of the Lord. This is the first recording in Scripture of a woman seeking God in prayer.

God holds no partiality for male or female.
 
I believe God is the originator of women’s rights. He created male and female, both in His image. His ears are equally open to the prayers of men and women. He hears our prayers, and He always give answers to those who have truly sought his grace.
 
Galatians 3:28 says, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
 
God is available to all and will answer any who seek his face. God’s ear does not open or close according to our gender, race, or nationality. God’s ear opens and closes according to our hearts and according to our attitudes.
 
James writes that we do not have because we do not ask, and when we do ask it is with the wrong motives (James 4:2–3). Isaac would not complain about his wife being barren when he had not yet asked God for a child. Rebekah did not complain about the pain in her belly without first inquiring of God. God’s ear was open to them both. Our sin is the only thing that separates us from Him, male or female.
 
Oh Father,
 
Help me to keep my heart pure so that when I come before Your throne in prayer, I come with the right motives. When others’ concerns come before me, may I immediately come before You and lift them up to You in prayer. Oh Father, may I not be guilty of  complaining about not having when I have never even come before You and asked.
 
My Jesus, it is in Your name I pray,
Amen.

>Answered Prayers

>

He [Abraham’s servant] said,
“O Lord, the God of my master Abraham,
please grant me success today,
and show lovingkindness
to my master Abraham.”
Genesis 24:12
 
God answers our prayers. He sometimes answers our prayers before we are even through praying. Abraham sent his servant out to find a wife for Isaac, but not just any wife, God’s choice wife. Abraham’s servant prayed for the Lord’s guidance. Before he had finished speaking in his heart, God sent Rebekah, the woman who was to be Isaac’s wife.
 
We have asked our youngest child many times if she would like to pray and have had her respond, “I prayed to God in my heart.” It amazed her when she learned that God could hear her heart.
 
In 1 Samuel 1:13 we read of Hannah in the temple praying, and “she was speaking in her heart.”
 
Jesus tells us in Matthew 6:6, “But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.”
 
I believe this inner room, this secret place, is our heart.
 
These words of Christ are relevant even to those who are praying out loud. Anytime we pray, whether in silence or out loud, so that others might share in our prayer, we need to first go into our “inner room,” our heart. We can say beautiful, fluent words out loud for others to hear, but God hears what is in our hearts.
 
How many times have we been a hypocrite in our public prayers, praying words we did not really believe God would hear or asking for help that we really did not expect God to give? Oh, precious one, might the words of our mouth and the meditation of our heart be acceptable in God’s sight (Psalm 19:14).
 
The desire of Abraham’s servant was to please his master. His prayer was offered from a sincere heart. His prayer was offered in sure expectation that God would hear and answer. When Abraham’s servant understood that God had immediately and obviously answered his prayer he bowed before God and worshiped. When we get such immediate responses to the cries of our heart, are we as quick to bow down before our God?
 
 “Blessed be the Lord, because He has heard the voice of my supplication. The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped; therefore my heart exults, and with my song I shall thank Him” (Psalm 28:6–7).
 
May we never forget to give God all the glory for our answered prayers. May we not for one minute think that our answer came out of any ability of our own. Let us not give credit to chance or coincidence. Let us not boast in luck. Let us know that it was our God and give Him His praise.
 
We cannot leave this chapter without taking one more look at our hearts. Let us ask, how are our hearts in response to a call from God? The servant shares his answered prayer with Rebekah and with her family, who just so happened to be relatives of Abraham. Rebekah doesn’t look at the servant of Abraham and say, “Let me pray about it, and I’ll get back to you on that.” She is quick to respond to this opportunity with obedience and goes with the servant to meet the man who will be her husband.
 
How many times have you asked God for a sign to confirm something that he was speaking to your heart? How many times have you then asked for a sign to confirm the sign? May our hearts be more like the example that Rebekah gives us here. The signs were clear, and she did not hesitate. When we hear our God call, may we say, “Here am I. Send me!” (Isaiah 6:8).
 
Oh Father,
 
How deserving You are of our worship. I thank You for Your guidance. I thank You for Your provisions. I thank You for Your faithfulness. How great You are, my God. You are worthy of all my praise. I bow before You, for I know that You hear all, see all, and know all. My heart is open and laid bare before You. Oh Father, may the prayers of my mouth come from the prayers of my heart. May I never wait to give You the glory for the prayers You answer. May I learn to respond with ready obedience to every opportunity that You have placed before me.
 
My Jesus, it is in Your name I pray,
Amen.

>Worth the Cost

>

Sarah died in Kiriath-arba
(that is, Hebron) in the land of Canaan;
and Abraham went in to mourn for Sarah
and to weep for her.
Genesis 23:2
 
Abraham is seeking a burial place for his wife, Sarah. In his search, we see how those who walk with God and honor Him receive respect even from those who do not know Him as their God. In Abraham’s respect of God, Abraham respected other people. He kept himself humble before others and allowed God alone to exalt him. First Peter 5:5–6 declares, “All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time.”
 
Abraham did not think highly of himself because of his relationship with God, and he did not consider those who did not serve the Lord Most High as lesser than he. Oh church, let us not get too big for our britches.
 
Abraham refused to allow Ephron the Hittite to simply give him the land. He would pay the price of the land. I am reminded of David as he stood at the threshing floor of Araunah and said, “No, but I will surely buy it from you for a price, for I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God which cost me nothing” (2 Samuel 24:24).
 
How many in the church feel they are owed something? How many walk through the doors of the sanctuary with their lists of “I wants” and hold their years of service and their tithes given as a badge of entitlement? How many have this attitude that God now owes them something because they said yes to His free gift of salvation?
 
This gift is free to us because someone else paid the price. God was willing to give us His everything. We should also be willing to give Him our everything. We should have the same spirit in us that was in the church in Corinthwhen Paul wrote that they were “begging us with much urging for the favor of participation in the support of the saints” (2 Corinthians 8:4).
 
When was the last time you went to church and begged your pastor for the favor of participation somewhere in the church? When was the last time a person, a cause, or an organization touched your heart and you begged them for the favor of supporting them? When has your offering to God cost you something?
 
Abraham would not dishonor Sarah, the mother of nations, by burying her in a cave that cost him nothing. He would also take no chances in losing this precious place; it would be his by right. Abraham was a man who had learned that true love was shown through the sacrifice of one’s own self.
 
Jesus did not dishonor His bride. He bought her at a price. She was His by right. He demonstrated His love for His bride by the sacrifice of Himself. Let us also demonstrate our love for our Savior. “We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren” (1 John 3:16).
 
Oh Father,
 
That I might humble myself before You and before others and allow you alone to do the exalting. That I might honor You in all that I do, think, and say. Today and forever, might I not consider myself as more highly than I ought, but know that it is only by Your amazing grace that I am able to stand. Might I respect all people and see them all through Your eyes, knowing that You died for all, just as You died for me. Help me to walk in a way that displays Your unconditional love and Your lack of partiality to all people. May I humble myself, that You might be exalted and draw the lost into Your saving grace.
 
My Jesus, it is in Your name I pray,
Amen.

>Faith Isn’t Faith Until It’s Been Tested

>

Now it came about after these things,
that God tested Abraham.
Genesis 22:1
 
God does not tempt us, but He does test us. Faith is not faith until it has been tested, and Abraham’s day of testing has come. God calls out to Abraham and asks him to take Isaac, his only son, and offer him as a sacrifice to Him onMt.Moriah.
 
How hard it must have been for Abraham to hear this command from his Lord—to go and sacrifice his promised son as a burnt offering to the Lord. I am sure for a moment it brought confusion to Abraham’s mind, but Abraham had learned who God was, and so he obeyed.
 
Abraham went up to Mt.Moriahto worship the Lord. We see Abraham’s faith when he turns to his young men and says, “Stay here with the donkey, and I and the lad will go over there; and we will worship and return to you” (Genesis 22:5). Abraham expected Isaac to return with him, and he declared it to be so.
 
He went to be obedient and to offer his son on the altar, as God had commanded. This was a huge step of faith for Abraham, but Abraham knew God had said that through Isaac he would become a great nation.
 
Hebrews 11:19 says that “he considered that God is able to raise people even from the dead, from which he also received him back as a type.” As Abraham had contemplated his own body when God said at the age of one hundred he would have a son, he now contemplates the resurrection of Isaac’s body because of the promise given to him by God.
 
Once again Abraham worships God through obedience to his word. Abraham doesn’t argue or delay. God honored Abraham’s obedience at the moment the knife was raised in total abandonment and full devotion to his God. An angel stayed the hand of Abraham, and a ram was provided for the sacrifice.
 
In Matthew 5:28 Jesus declares, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
 
With God it is always about the heart.
 
In Isaiah 29:13 God says, “This people draw near with their words and honor Me with their lip service, but they remove their hearts far from Me, and their reverence for Me consists of tradition learned by rote.”
 
God doesn’t judge us by our outward actions, as man does; He judges our hearts.
 
Abraham did not have to physically sacrifice his son for God and have God prove He could raise Isaac from the dead. God knew Abraham already believed in his heart that He would raise Isaac from the dead. It is said that actions speak louder than words, but in God’s world, the heart speaks louder than both.
 
Oh Father,
 
True worship is about sacrifice and obedience; sacrifice of self—of my wants and my desires. Sacrifice of anything that comes between me and You. Sacrifice of anything I put before You in my life. True love only comes with the sacrifice of self. I can sacrifice all for You only because You first sacrificed all for me. I can live in complete obedience to You and Your Word because I can trust that You will keep Your word. You have proved Yourself to me countless times, just as You proved Yourself to Abraham. Thank You, my Father God, for being my God.
 
My Jesus, it is in Your name I pray,
Amen.

>Cultivating Character

>Encouraging the cultivation of character is exactly what wise parents do, nudging, urging their children toward maturity. As a parent, you have occasions in your life, brief vignettes, little windows of time, where you can step forward and help your children to understand the value of being brave. As they grow up and those hands-on occasions change to a more distant relationship, you must call upon your children to stand for what they believe, even if they must stand alone—and then trust them to do it without you alongside.
~ Swindoll

We had an eventful morning in the Vaughn household. My girls are playing basketball. We are playing in the area that we will be living in when our house sells. We began playing ball in this area this past spring. We received a phone call this morning that our girls would not be allowed to continue to play due to our current address. 

Oh I was heartbroke.

You see my girls missed basketball season last year because they spent it in the hospital and at my mom’s helping take care of their Aunt Tracy. My girls were wonderful if I do say so myself. They spent many days doing school in the STICU waiting room and then willingly were drug to my mom’s to do school in her kitchen while I cared for my sister. They got to see how a family takes care of each other and they loved being a part of it, even if it was just running up stairs to get a towel or holding a drink for my sister. They were not bitter at all, they understood when I explained how Aunt Tracy needed us now and basketball would be there next season.

So they were so excited to be playing this year. They had met there coach, their team, ordered uniforms, and had a practice… they were crushed when I delivered the news…

Now my first response in feelings was anger, then hurt, then deception. I thought, no I said, just let me refill out the paperwork I will put my parent’s address. I was ready to reach into my roledex and pull out whatever names I needed to in order to keep my girls on that team.

Then I knew that the only name I needed to pull out was Jesus Christ.

So I went to my girls and we stood in the middle of our living room and we held hands and we prayed. We prayed that God would open the doors for them to be able to play if it was His will. We prayed that He would do it according to the rules with no manipulation on my part. We prayed also that He would sell our house so we wouldn’t have to go through this again. We prayed that His will be done, and we said in Jesus name, and amen, and we began school.

Not even an hour later the phone rings.

Guess what? There is no 9-10 yr old girls basketball team in our current area so according to the rules Shelby could play any where she wanted! And also according to the rules Bekah could play up on Shelby’s team!!

I could not wait to tell my girls. I cried and looked up to my God and told Him, Thank You!!!

I came in and shared the God-news with my girls and Shelby ran and jumped in my arms and Bekah joyfully exclaimed, “Momma, God answered us quick!”

Oh how good He is!!

How thankful I am that God convicted my heart to turn this over to Him and trust Him with it. In doing so He used it as an awesome opportunity to display His glory, His love, His concern, and His realness to His girls!

Train up a child in the way he should go,
Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

>Cultivating Character

>Encouraging the cultivation of character is exactly what wise parents do, nudging, urging their children toward maturity. As a parent, you have occasions in your life, brief vignettes, little windows of time, where you can step forward and help your children to understand the value of being brave. As they grow up and those hands-on occasions change to a more distant relationship, you must call upon your children to stand for what they believe, even if they must stand alone—and then trust them to do it without you alongside.
~ Swindoll

We had an eventful morning in the Vaughn household. My girls are playing basketball. We are playing in the area that we will be living in when our house sells. We began playing ball in this area this past spring. We received a phone call this morning that our girls would not be allowed to continue to play due to our current address. 

Oh I was heartbroke.

You see my girls missed basketball season last year because they spent it in the hospital and at my mom’s helping take care of their Aunt Tracy. My girls were wonderful if I do say so myself. They spent many days doing school in the STICU waiting room and then willingly were drug to my mom’s to do school in her kitchen while I cared for my sister. They got to see how a family takes care of each other and they loved being a part of it, even if it was just running up stairs to get a towel or holding a drink for my sister. They were not bitter at all, they understood when I explained how Aunt Tracy needed us now and basketball would be there next season.

So they were so excited to be playing this year. They had met there coach, their team, ordered uniforms, and had a practice… they were crushed when I delivered the news…

Now my first response in feelings was anger, then hurt, then deception. I thought, no I said, just let me refill out the paperwork I will put my parent’s address. I was ready to reach into my roledex and pull out whatever names I needed to in order to keep my girls on that team.

Then I knew that the only name I needed to pull out was Jesus Christ.

So I went to my girls and we stood in the middle of our living room and we held hands and we prayed. We prayed that God would open the doors for them to be able to play if it was His will. We prayed that He would do it according to the rules with no manipulation on my part. We prayed also that He would sell our house so we wouldn’t have to go through this again. We prayed that His will be done, and we said in Jesus name, and amen, and we began school.

Not even an hour later the phone rings.

Guess what? There is no 9-10 yr old girls basketball team in our current area so according to the rules Shelby could play any where she wanted! And also according to the rules Bekah could play up on Shelby’s team!!

I could not wait to tell my girls. I cried and looked up to my God and told Him, Thank You!!!

I came in and shared the God-news with my girls and Shelby ran and jumped in my arms and Bekah joyfully exclaimed, “Momma, God answered us quick!”

Oh how good He is!!

How thankful I am that God convicted my heart to turn this over to Him and trust Him with it. In doing so He used it as an awesome opportunity to display His glory, His love, His concern, and His realness to His girls!

Train up a child in the way he should go,
Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

The writing and teachings of Nicole Love Halbrooks Vaughn