I think it would be neat if the women of our generation took a little while to work on taking the planks out of our own eyes. It would be neat if that freed us up to help the guys around us with the specks in their eyes; not out of selfish interest or self-preservation but out of a genuine desire for everyone in our lives to see our sweet savior a little more clearly. ~ thoughts from fab
I read this most post several months ago and began this post, but got distracted. However after a little study today in 1 Kings I am drawn back to complete my thoughts.
When I read the post from “thoughts from fabs” the first time, it brought to my remembrance a little something that concerns me more and more as I see it…
The baby’s daddy bashing.
It is actually doing more than concerning me, I actually am growing to despise it.
There was a day when a girl’s own father and mother chose her future spouse for her. However, we women decided that we wanted the freedom, “the right” to chose our own husbands.
This clip is entitled “Jasmin’s Cage”
Jasmin was under the protection of a loving father who was seeking to provide a man for her that would love her as much as he did. A man that would protect her and provide for her… but Jasmin was not happy with that… no she identified that with being locked in a cage like the birds in her courtyard. Jasmin wanted to marry for love…
Then you see the starry eyed, dreamy snuggle of the bird in her hand.
The law just was not good enough for Jasmin… she wanted to be her own guide… She did not want to be guided by the law or her father.
When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate…
Ladies, we wanted the “right” to choose our man. This father of your child was your choice. He was who he was when you began the relationship with him.
How many advised you to not walk this path with this one?
If you chose to give your body to a boy before he ever promised to make a commitment to you… then why are you so shocked over his lack of commitment now?
It is time to accept responsibility in this area. It’s time to stop bashing your baby’s daddy and admit that you are the one that was deceived… or covered your eyes to the truth and shut your ears to the words of those who truly loved you and you chose to follow your own emotions.
Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this you have done?” And the woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate.”
You can lie to yourselves and you can surround yourself with other women who will help you bash your “baby’s daddy” and they will help you put all the blame on this man… and that will make you feel better for a moment and it will help you push your own responsibility in the relationship to the side in your own mind… but how does that affect the heart of the child that was created?
In the baby’s daddy bashing have you even stopped thinking about yourself long enough to consider the damage your words have on this child who is from him? The one you bash… the one you chose to lie down with… is indeed the father of this child and this child will seek their identity, who they are, from him.
Maybe you did it in the right in order. Maybe you married him and then the children came… and now the marriage is crumbling… maybe he has already left and the divorce is in process or final…
Maybe you are convincing yourself that he “changed” and that’s why the divorce came… did he really?
Once again, you chose him.
Who advised you not to walk down the aisle with him? What trials did you go through with him before you said “I do” and yet convinced yourself that things would be different once you were married…
Ladies, we wanted the freedom to choose. With freedom comes responsibility. So take it. Own it. And guard your mouth as you speak over your child concerning their father.
For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.
1 Timothy 2:13-15