Category Archives: Train Up A Child Series

Train Up A Child Day 17

>My friend we have come to point 17. This is the final thought, the closing point, in the “The Duties of Parents” by JC Ryle. I hope you have learned as much as I have as we have dug into this paper one point at a time. I pray each truth has sunk in deep. How absolutely fitting that Mr Ryle closes this paper with a point that is focused on the power and necessity of prayer.

Train Up A Child Day Seventeen  

17.  Train them, lastly, with continual prayer for a blessing on all you do.
Without the blessing of the Lord, your best endeavours will do no good.  He has the hearts of all men in His hands, and except He touch the hearts of your children by His Spirit, you will weary yourself to no purpose.  Water, therefore, the seed you sow on their minds with unceasing prayer. 

The Lord is far more willing to hear than we to pray; far more ready to give blessings than we to ask them ; — but He loves to be entreated for them.  And I set this matter of prayer before you, as the top-stone and seal of all you do.  I suspect the child of many prayers is seldom cast away.
Look upon your children as Jacob did on his; he tells Esau they are “the children which God hath graciously given thy servant” (Gen. 33:5).  Look on them as Joseph did on his; he told his father, “They are the sons whom God hath given me” (Gen. 48:9).  Count them with the Psalmist to be “an heritage and reward from the Lord” (Ps. 127:3).  And then ask the Lord, with a holy boldness, to be gracious and merciful to His own gifts. 

Mark how Abraham intercedes for Ishmael, because he loved him, “Oh that Ishmael might live before thee” (Gen. 17:18).  See how Manoah speaks to the angel about Samson, “How shall we order the child, and how shall we do unto him?” (Judg. 13:12). 

Observe how tenderly Job cared for his children’s souls, “He offered burnt-offerings according to the number of them all, for he said, It may be my sons have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts.  Thus did Job continually” (Job 1:5). Parents, if you love your children, go and do likewise.  You cannot name their names before the mercy-seat too often.
And now, reader, in conclusion, let me once more press upon you the necessity and importance of using every single means in your power, if you would train children for heaven.
I know well that God is a sovereign God, and doeth all things according to the counsel of His own will.  I know that Rehoboam was the son of Solomon, and Manasseh the son of Hezekiah, and that you do not always see godly parents having a godly seed.  But I know also that God is a God who works by means, and sure am I, if you make light of such means as I have mentioned, your children are not likely to turn out well.
Fathers and mothers, you may take your children to be baptized, and have them enrolled in the ranks of Christ’s Church; — you may get godly sponsors to answer for them, and help you by their prayers; — you may send them to the best of schools, and give them Bibles and Prayer Books, and fill them with head knowledge but if all this time there is no regular training at home, I tell you plainly, I fear it will go hard in the end with your children’s souls. 

Home is the place where habits are formed; — home is the place where the foundations of character are laid; — home gives the bias to our tastes, and likings, and opinions.  See then, I pray you, that there be careful training at home.  Happy indeed is the man who can say, as Bolton did upon his dying bed, to his children, “I do believe not one of you will dare to meet me before the tribunal of Christ in an unregenerate state.”
Fathers and mothers, I charge you solemnly before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, take every pains to train your children in the way they should go.  I charge you not merely for the sake of your children’s souls; I charge you for the sake of your own future comfort and peace.  Truly it is your interest so to do. Truly your own happiness in great measure depends on it.  Children have ever been the bow from which the sharpest arrows have pierced man’s heart.
Children have mixed the bitterest cups that man has ever had to drink.  Children have caused the saddest tears that man has ever had to shed.  Adam could tell you so; Jacob could tell you so; David could tell you so.  There are no sorrows on earth like those which children have brought upon their parents. 

Oh! take heed, lest your own neglect should lay up misery for you in your old age.  Take heed, lest you weep under the ill-treatment of a thankless child, in the days when your eye is dim, and your natural force abated.
If ever you wish your children to be the restorers of your life, and the nourishers of your old age, — if you would have them blessings and not curses — joys and not sorrows — Judahs and not Reubens — Ruths and not Orpahs, — if you would not, like Noah, be ashamed of their deeds, and, like Rebekah, be made weary of your life by them: if this be your wish, remember my advice betimes, train them while young in the right way.
And as for me, I will conclude by putting up my prayer to God for all who read this paper, that you may all be taught of God to feel the value of your own souls.  This is one reason why baptism is too often a mere form, and Christian training despised and disregarded. 

Too often parents feel not for themselves, and so they feel not for their children.  They do not realize the tremendous difference between a state of nature and a state of grace, and therefore they are content to let them alone.
Now the Lord teach you all that sin is that abominable thing which God hateth.  Then, I know you will mourn over the sins of your children, and strive to pluck them out as brands from the fire.
The Lord teach you all how precious Christ is, and what a mighty and complete work He hath done for our salvation.  Then, I feel confident you will use every means to bring your children to Jesus, that they may live through Him. 

The Lord teach you all your need of the Holy Spirit, to renew, sanctify, and quicken your souls.  Then, I feel sure you will urge your children to pray for Him without ceasing, and never rest till He has come down into their hearts with power, and made them new creatures.
The Lord grant this, and then I have a good hope that you will indeed train up your children well, — train well for this life, and train well for the life to come; train well for earth, and train well for heaven; train them for God, for Christ, and for eternity.

I don’t know about you but I have no greater burden than the eternal souls of my children…
I desire nothing more than they be fully alive in Christ, abandoned and wholly surrendered, head over heals in love with Him alone.
I am not burdened that they have all the pleasures of this world. I am not burdened by worries of paying for college tuition or making sure they are the coolest kids in town…
I am burdened only that I will fail in leading them to Christ. I am burdened only that I will not be a living example. I am burdened only that they will think that my life does not measure up with my words. I am burdened only that they will see my heart and claim me a hypocrite… and run from Christ and His church. This is my greatest fear, the burden that weighs heavy on my heart concerning my children… and not just my children from my womb, but my children in the Lord as well.  
I pray often that God would just remove me and let them only see Him. I pray often that God would bless my feeble efforts and make them what only He can make them… 
Oh precious one we are in this together… let us pray that in the name of Christ we will be the parents that God desires us to be… may we teach our children in our home and train them up in the way that they should go… that way being “the Way”
Jesus said to him,
“I am the way,
and the truth,
and the life;
no one comes to the Father
but through Me.”
John 14:6

Train Up A Child Day 16

So what about the day when you know you have poured the pure Word of God into the heart of your child and yet they run in the opposite direction. What about the day when you look at them and you question why you even bothered to invest so much time, energy, and prayers into their lives because they have thrown it all back up in your face. What about the day when you cry out to God because you can’t figure out where you went wrong…

What about that day?  

Train Up A Child Day Sixteen

16.  Train them remembering continually the promises of Scripture.
I name this also shortly, in order to guard you against discouragement.  You have a plain promise on your side, “Train up your child in the way he should go, and when he is old he shall not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6).  Think what it is to have a promise like this. 

Promises were the only lamp of hope which cheered the hearts of the patriarchs before the Bible was written.  Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, — all lived on a few promises, and prospered in their souls. 

Promises are the cordials which in every age have supported and strengthened the believer.  He that has got a plain text upon his side need never be cast down.  Fathers and mothers, when your hearts are failing, and ready to halt, look at the word of this text, and take comfort.
Think who it is that promises.  It is not the word of a man, who may lie or repent; it is the word of the King of kings, who never changes.  Hath He said a thing, and shall He not do it? Or hath He spoken, and shall He not make it good? Neither is anything too hard for Him to perform.  The things that are impossible with men are possible with God. 

Reader, if we get not the benefit of the promise we are dwelling upon, the fault is not in Him, but in ourselves.
Think, too, what the promise contains, before you refuse to take comfort from it.  It speaks of a certain time when good training shall especially bear fruit, — “when a child is old.” Surely there is comfort in this.  You may not see with your own eyes the result of careful training, but you know not what blessed fruits may not spring from it, long after you are dead and gone. 

It is not God’s way to give everything at once.  “Afterwards’ is the time when He often chooses to work, both in the things of nature and in the things of grace. “Afterward” is the season when affliction bears the peaceable fruit of righteousness (Heb. 12:11).  “Afterward” was the time when the son who refused to work in his father’s vineyard repented and went (Matt. 21:29).  And “afterward” is the time to which parents must look forward if they see not success at once, — you must sow in hope and plant in hope.
Cast thy bread upon the waters,” saith the Spirit, “for thou shalt find it after many days” (Eceles. 11:1).  Many children, I doubt not, shall rise up in the day of judgment, and bless their parents for good training, who never gave any signs of having profited by it during their parents’ lives. 

Go forward then in faith, and be sure that your labour shall not be altogether thrown away.  Three times did Elijah stretch himself upon the widow’s child before it revived.  Take example from him, and persevere.

So what about that day?
On that day precious one… stand.
Stand on the promises of God.
Stand on the seed that you planted and pray for rain.
Trust that God is the one who reaps the harvest.
Walk by faith and not by sight.
Many times we selfishly want to see the results of all our efforts, but often it is not for us to see, lest we take credit for what belongs only to God…
All is for His glory.
So if your child is in rebellion, rebellion against you and rebellion against God and you know with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind that you trained them up in the way that they should go… that way being to walk in obedience to the Creator God, their Savior and Redeemer… then trust that you did not toil in vain.
Therefore, my beloved brethren,
be steadfast,
always abounding in the work of the Lord,
knowing that your toil
is not in vain in the Lord.
1 Corinthians 15:58
holding fast the word of life,
so that in the day of Christ
I will have reason to glory
because I did not run in vain
nor toil in vain.
Philippians 2:16
You Mom…
You Dad…
Obey God… and leave the consequences to Him.

Train Up A Child Day 15

Oh no… not my child!
Never my child… they would never…
They know better… 
I have taught them better.
Surely I can trust them… 

Let me ask you… how well can you trust your own heart?

Train Up A Child Day Fifteen

15.  Train them.  remembering continually the power of sin.
I name this shortly, in order to guard you against unscriptural expectations.  You must not expect to find your children’s minds a sheet of pure white paper, and to have no trouble if you only use right means.  I warn you plainly you will find no such thing. 

It is painful to see how much corruption and evil there is in a young child’s heart, and how soon it begins to bear fruit.  Violent tempers, self- will, pride, envy, sullenness, passion, idleness, selfishness, deceit, cunning, falsehood, hypocrisy, a terrible aptness to learn what is bad, a painful slowness to learn what is good, a readiness to pretend anything in order to gain their own ends, — all these things, or some of them, you must be prepared to see, even in your own flesh and blood. In little ways they will creep out at a very early age; it is almost startling to observe how naturally they seem to spring up. 

Children require no schooling to learn to sin.
But you must not be discouraged and cast down by what you see. You must not think it a strange and unusual thing, that little hearts can be so full of sin.  It is the only portion which our father Adam left us; it is that fallen nature with which we come into the world; it is that inheritance which belongs to us all.

Let it rather make you more diligent in using every means which seem most likely, by God’s blessing, to counteract the mischief.  Let it make you more and more careful, so far as in you lies, to keep your children out of the way of temptation.
Never listen to those who tell you your children are good, and well brought up, and can be trusted.  Think rather that their hearts are always inflammable as tinder.  At their very best, they only want a spark to set their corruptions alight.  Parents are seldom too cautious.  Remember the natural depravity of your children, and take care.

My parents will tell you this day that the worst thing they ever did was trust us girls.
And it’s true.
You see I was raised right.
In a wonderful loving home.
However I found trouble… then I went looking for it.
My parents were fairly strict compared to the parents of many of my friends. I thought they were ridiculously strict. So strict that I would lie and twist and omit information in order to get to do what I wanted. I was able to do this because my parents trusted me. You see I had learned to use their trust in me against them.
I can honestly tell you today that I wish my parents had not trusted me so much. I would rather have the stricter, less trusting parents, than the regrets I carry today. It wasn’t that I was a “bad person” I simply just did not understand the power of my sinful heart. I had not the knowledge or spiritual maturity to discern good and evil. I didn’t understand the evil until I was neck deep in the consequences.
What I have come to learn is that it’s not about whether or not I trust my children… it’s about being always fully aware of the pull of their sin nature and being fully aware that their hearts will lie to them just as quickly as my heart will lie to me.
I do not put myself in certain situations for the simple reason of guarding my heart, my mind, and my integrity… I have to teach my children to do that by my own example first and then while doing it for them until they understand how to do it themselves.
When I was first wholly surrendered I really thought that if I poured enough Scripture into them and then if I surrounded them with all the right friends, all would be great and wonderful… but here’s what I learned… I can’t trust the hearts of their friends either.
Having worked in the youth ministry… I heart-wrenchingly have come to learn that things are not always as they appear. I learned that the same church kids that gossiped and ridiculed me about my sin and yet never invited me to know Christ nor even invited me to church… were still alive and well in the church today.
I learned that the kids who had strong believing parents and were leaders in their youth group on Sunday’s and Wednesday’s were also still the leaders on Friday and Saturday night’s parties and the ones having sex outside of wedlock… even though I had myself poured my own brokenness from these actions into their ears.
I had an eye opening experience that I could not control them nor my own children through controlling their environment and by using the “just say no” campaign.
I thought that keeping my children in church would be enough… but I learned that it’s not. Because it’s not about today’s idea of ‘church’… it’s about their hearts. I have to teach my children to recognize the power of their sin nature and I have to teach my children that their hearts will deceive them. I have to teach them how to recognize the liar, the deceiver, the murderer of their souls. I have to teach them how to walk through the valley of the shadow of death… not live trying to keep them away from that valley… because I can’t. I have to teach my children not from the “if” but from the “when”.
So it shall be when all of these things have come upon you…
Deuteronomy 30:1
I can’t just put a set a blinders on them and say keep to the path.
I can’t just place them in a shark cage and say now you will not be attacked.
I can’t just strap on a safety harness and say now you will never fall.
I have to prepare them for what to do when the blinders come off and they stray to the left or the right and get lost in this life. I have to teach them the tools they will need to get back on the path. When the cage breaks and the sharks attack, I have to teach them how to defend themselves and how and where to go to find new shelter. I have to teach them how to get up when that safety harness malfunctions and they fall. If they are broken… they must know that forgiveness and healing is available.
I solemnly charge you
in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus,
who is to judge the living and the dead,
and by His appearing
and His kingdom: 
preach the word;
be ready in season and out of season;
reprove, rebuke, exhort,
with great patience and instruction
For the time will come
when they will not endure sound doctrine;
but wanting to have their ears tickled,
they will accumulate for themselves
teachers in accordance to their own desires,
2 Timothy 4:1-3
The time will come in most of our children’s lives that they will not endure your teaching any longer. They will seek out friends that tell them what they want to hear and will desire to go that way and not the way they have been taught… be ready.
For we do not want you to be unaware,
brethren, of our affliction
which came to us in Asia,
that we were burdened excessively,
beyond our strength,
so that we despaired even of life;
2 Corinthians 1:8
Be ready in season, when they hang on your every word and trust you completely, teach them truth.
Be ready out of season, when they think you are the most stupid people on the face of the earth who have no clue about their life or the world of today, teach them truth… “reprove, rebuke, exhort“… and do it with “great patience and instruction”. Yet do not yield to their sinful desires out of fear of losing them forever… obey God and trust Him with your children… remembering always that He loves them even more than you do.

Train Up A Child Day 14

Have you ever heard someone say, “do as I say not as I do”?
Perhaps you have used that phrase yourself…
How well has it worked out?

Train Up A Child Day Fourteen

14.  Train them remembering continually the influence; of your own example.
Instruction, and advice, and commands will profit little, unless they are backed up by the pattern of your own life.  Your children will never believe you are in earnest, and really wish them to obey you, so long as your actions contradict your counsel.

Archbishop Tillotson made a wise remark when he said, “To give children good instruction, and a bad example, is but beckoning to them with the head to show them the way to heaven, while we take them by the hand and lead them in the way to hell.”
We little know the force and power of example.  No one of us can live to himself in this world; we are always influencing those around us, in one way or another, either for good or for evil, either for God or for sin. — They see our ways, they mark our conduct, they observe our behaviour, and what they see us practise, that they may fairly suppose we think right.  And never, I believe, does example tell so powerfully as it does in the case of parents and children.
Fathers and mothers, do not forget that children learn more by the eye than they do by the ear.  No school will make such deep marks on character as home.  The best of schoolmasters will not imprint on their minds as much as they will pick up at your fireside.  Imitation is a far stronger principle with children than memory.  What they see has a much stronger effect on their minds than what they are told.
Take care, then, what you do before a child.  It is a true proverb, “Who sins before a child, sins double.” Strive rather to be a living epistle of Christ, such as your families can read, and that plainly too.  Be an example of reverence for the Word of God, reverence in prayer, reverence for means of grace, reverence for the Lord’s day. — Be an example in words, in temper, in diligence, in temperance, in faith, in charity, in kindness, in humility. 

Think not your children will practise what they do not see you do.  You are their model picture, and they will copy what you are.  Your reasoning and your lecturing, your wise commands and your good advice; all this they may not understand, but they can understand your life.
Children are very quick observers; very quick in seeing through some kinds of hypocrisy, very quick in finding out what you really think and feel, very quick in adopting all your ways and opinions.  You will often find as the father is, so is the son.
Remember the word that the conqueror Caesar always used to his soldiers in a battle.  He did not say “Go forward,” but “Come.” So it must be with you in training your children.  They will seldom learn habits which they see you despise, or walk in paths in which you do not walk yourself. 

He that preaches to his children what he does not practise, is working a work that never goes forward.  It is like the fabled web of Penelope of old, who wove all day, and unwove all night.  Even so, the parent who tries to train without setting a good example is building with one hand, and pulling down with the other.


The simple fact is our children will do as we do… this is what they remember…
Our children and all others will always measure our words by our actions.

Do we honor with our lips while our hearts are far away?
True belief always results in matched behaviour.
We show we really believe when our lives line up with what we believe.

I recently taught a class on Spiritual Gifts… one weeks lesson was on leadership. As I have studied the Scriptures the Word of God is quite clear that leadership begins with being an example first. 

 Philip said to Him,
“Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us.” 
Jesus said to him,
“Have I been so long with you,
and yet you have not come to know Me, Philip?
He who has seen Me has seen the Father;
how can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? 
Do you not believe that I am in the Father,
and the Father is in Me?
The words that I say to you I do not speak on My own initiative,
but the Father abiding in Me does His works. 
Believe Me that I am in the Father
and the Father is in Me;
otherwise believe because of the works themselves.
John 14:8-11
Here, when Philip questions Jesus’ words, Jesus calls him to look at His works. He reminds Him that he has been with Him, watching Him, observing Him, all this time. He tells him, if you are unsure about the reality and truth of My words look at My life… see that My actions testify that My words are true.
Do your actions testify to your children that your words are true?
Are you leading them by example?
If you haven’t been… start today.
Start now.


Train Up A Child Day 13

I have often heard the saying, “Well these kids didn’t come with an instructions manual on how to raise them…”
The truth is… well yes they did.
It’s called the Holy Bible.
Within the pages of this book is all we will ever need to know about how to raise our children… I love all the Dobson books and other ministry helps in raising children… but all you need is God’s book… the rest is just secondary and should never contradict God’s instructions in how to raise children.

Train Up A Child Day Thirteen  

13.  Train them remembering continually how God trains His children.
The Bible tells us that God has an elect people, — a family in this world.  All poor sinners who have been convinced of sin, and fled to Jesus for peace, make up that family.  All of us who really believe on Christ for salvation are its members. 

Now God the Father is ever training the members of this family for their everlasting abode with Him in heaven.  He acts as a husbandman pruning his vines, that they may bear more fruit.  He knows the character of each of us, — our besetting sins, — our weaknesses, — our peculiar infirmities, — our special wants. 

He knows our works and where we dwell, who are our companions in life, and what are our trials, what our temptations, and what are our privileges.  He knows all these things, and is ever ordering all for our good.  He allots to each of us, in His providence, the very things we need, in order to bear the most fruit, — as much of sunshine as we can stand, and as much of rain, — as much of bitter things as we can bear, and as much of sweet. 

Reader, if you would train your children wisely, mark well how God the Father trains His.  He doeth all things well; the plan which He adopts must be right.
See, then, how many things there are which God withholds from His children.  Few could be found, I suspect, among them who have not had desires which He has never been pleased to fulfil.  There has often been some one thing they wanted to attain, and yet there has always been some barrier to prevent attainment.  It has been just as if God was placing it above our reach, and saying, “This is not good for you; this must not be.” Moses desired exceedingly to cross over Jordan, and see the goodly land of promise; but you will remember his desire was never granted.
See, too, how often God leads His people by ways which seem dark and mysterious to our eyes.  We cannot see the meaning of all His dealings with us; we cannot see the reasonableness of the path in which our feet are treading. 

Sometimes so many trials have assailed us, — so many difficulties encompassed us, — that we have not been able to discover the needs-be of it all.  It has been just as if our Father was taking us by the hand into a dark place and saying, “Ask no questions, but follow Me.” There was a direct road from Egypt to Canaan, yet Israel was not led into it; but round, through the wilderness.  And this seemed hard at the time.  “The soul of the people,” we are told, “was much discouraged because of the way” (Exod. 13:17; Num. 21:4).
See, also, how often God chastens His people with trial and affliction.  He sends them crosses and disappointments; He lays them low with sickness; He strips them of property and friends; He changes them from one position to another; He visits them with things most hard to flesh and blood; and some of us have well- nigh fainted under the burdens laid upon us.  We have felt pressed beyond strength, and have been almost ready to murmur at the hand which chastened us.  Paul the Apostle had a thorn in the flesh appointed him, some bitter bodily trial, no doubt, though we know not exactly what it was.  But this we know, — he besought the Lord thrice that it might be removed; yet it was not taken away (2 Cor. 12:8,9).
Now, reader, notwithstanding all these things, did you ever hear of a single child of God who thought his Father did not treat him wisely? No, I am sure you never did.  God’s children would always tell you, in the long run, it was a blessed thing they did not have their own way, and that God had done far better for them than they could have done for themselves.  Yes! And they could tell you, too, that God’s dealings had provided more happiness for them than they ever would have obtained themselves, and that His way, however dark at times, was the way of pleasantness and the path of peace.
I ask you to lay to heart the lesson which God’s dealings with His people is meant to teach you.  Fear not to withhold from your child anything you think will do him harm, whatever his own wishes may be.  This is God’s plan.  Hesitate not to lay on him commands, of which he may not at present see the wisdom, and to guide him in ways which may not now seem reasonable to his mind.  This is God’s plan.
Shrink not from chastising and correcting him whenever you see his soul’s health requires it, however painful it may be to your feelings; and remember medicines for the mind must not be rejected because they are bitter.  This is God’s plan.
And be not afraid, above all, that such a plan of training will make your child unhappy.  I warn you against this delusion. Depend on it, there is no surer road to unhappiness than always having our own way.  To have our wills checked and denied is a blessed thing for us; it makes us value enjoyments when they come. To be indulged perpetually is the way to be made selfish; and selfish people and spoiled children, believe me, are seldom happy.
Reader, be not wiser than God; — train your children as He trains His.

Oh my we live in a day of a plethora of information. The bookshelves are lined with books written by men and women who have their own opinion on how you should raise your children. Now even in the public school systems we have teachers and principles telling you how you should raise your children. They want you to drug them if they cause too much trouble and yet they don’t want you to bust their rear end. No, don’t discipline, just pop a pill.  (Please know that I understand in many case medication is needed and is very helpful and I believe if after prayer and consultation with your doctor, not a school teacher, that if your child needs meds by all means use them… you would not deny your child chemo if they had cancer so don’t deny them any other meds simply because of the stigmas or labels that might be attached to them.)
We have become a society that is so consumed with outward behavior and appearance that we have shut down the soul. We are living in a generation of adults who were raised by parents who thought they knew better than God… the Dr Spock generation. This was the beginning of millions of books telling you how to raise your children though they had never met you or your child…
Quite possibly there might be some good information in these child rearing books but all information needs to be weighed up against the plumb line of the Word of God. If it doesn’t line up it needs cast down and cast out.
Let God teach you how to raise your children. Raise them the way He raised His. Everything you will ever need to know, for any situation… it’s all there if you will let Him show you. He can’t wait to teach you and show you what to do. He wants to direct you in the truth. He wants you to be good, solid, wise, loving, patient, kind parents who raise strong healthy minded children.
Study the proverbs.
Study the way the parents recorded in Scripture responded to their children. See what pleased God and what dishonored God. God doesn’t hide the mistakes of His people. Learn from their mistakes. See what children succeeded and see who failed. Find out what each parent did, or didn’t do, that made the difference.
Lay all the other books aside, the ideas and interpretations of man, and pick up the Bible first, let all else be second. Trust God’s instructions no matter how hard they may seem to carry out… His ways are best. He knows what He is doing. Trust Him and let Him do it.
Always remember He loves your kids even more than you do.

Train Up A Child Day 12

This one is a good one…
This twelfth point is one that our entire nation is currently reaping the consequences…

Train Up A Child Day Twelve

12.  Train them with a constant fear of over-indulgence.
This is the one point of all on which you have most need to be on your guard.  It is natural to be tender and affectionate towards your own flesh and blood, and it is the excess of this very tenderness and affection which you have to fear.  Take heed that it does not make you blind to your children’s faults, and deaf to all advice about them.  Take heed lest it make you overlook bad conduct, rather than have the pain of inflicting punishment and correction.
I know well that punishment and correction are disagreeable things.  Nothing is more unpleasant than giving pain to those we love, and calling forth their tears.  But so long as hearts are what hearts are, it is vain to suppose, as a general rule, that children can ever be brought up without correction.
Spoiling is a very expressive word, and sadly full of meaning. Now it is the shortest way to spoil children to let them have their own way, — to allow them to do wrong and not to punish them for it.  Believe me, you must not do it, whatever pain it may cost you unless you wish to ruin your children’s souls.
You cannot say that Scripture does not speak expressly on this subject: “He that spareth his rod, hateth his son; but he that loveth him, chasteneth him betimes” (Prov. 13:24). “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying” (Prov. 19:18).  “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child: but the rod of correction shall drive it from him” (Prov. 22:15).  “Withhold not correction from the child, for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not die.  Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell” (Prov. 23:13,14).  “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” “Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest, yea, he shall give delight to thy soul” (Prov. 29:15,17).
How strong and forcible are these texts! How melancholy is the fact, that in many Christian families they seem almost unknown! Their children need reproof, but it is hardly ever given; they need correction, but it is hardly ever employed.  And yet this book of Proverbs is not obsolete and unfit for Christians.  It is given by inspiration of God, and profitable.  It is given for our learning, even as the Epistles to the Romans and Ephesians. Surely the believer who brings up his children without attention to its counsel is making himself wise above that which is written, and greatly errs.
Fathers and mothers, I tell you plainly, if you never punish your children when they are in fault, you are doing them a grievous wrong.  I warn you, this is the rock on which the saints of God, in every age, have only too frequently made shipwreck. 

I would fain persuade you to be wise in time, and keep clear of it. See it in Eli’s case.  His sons Hophni and Phinehas “made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.” He gave them no more than a tame and lukewarm reproof, when he ought to have rebuked them sharply.  In one word, he honoured his sons above God. And what was the end of these things? He lived to hear of the death of both his sons in battle, and his own grey hairs were brought down with sorrow to the grave (1 Sam. 2:22-29, 3:13).
See, too, the case of David.  Who can read without pain the history of his children, and their sins? Amnon’s incest, — Absalom’s murder and proud rebellion, — Adonijah’s scheming ambition: truly these were grievous wounds for the man after God’s own heart to receive from his own house.  But was there no fault on his side? I fear there can be no doubt there was.  I find a clue to it all in the account of Adonijah in 1 Kings 1:6: “His father had not displeased him at any time in saying, Why hast thou done so?” There was the foundation of all the mischief.  David was an over-indulgent father, — a father who let his children have their own way, — and he reaped according as he had sown.
Parents, I beseech you, for your children’s sake, beware of over-indulgence.  I call on you to remember, it is your first duty to consult their real interests, and not their fancies and likings; — to train them, not to humour them — to profit, not merely to please.
You must not give way to every wish and caprice of your child’s mind, however much you may love him.  You must not let him suppose his will is to be everything, and that he has only to desire a thing and it will be done.  Do not, I pray you, make your children idols, lest God should take them away, and break your idol, just to convince you of your folly.
Learn to say “No” to your children.  Show them that you are able to refuse whatever you think is not fit for them. Show them that you are ready to punish disobedience, and that when you speak of punishment, you are not only ready to threaten, but also to perform.  Do not threaten too much.  Threatened folks, and threatened faults, live long.  Punish seldom, but really and in good earnest, — frequent and slight punishment is a wretched system indeed. 
Beware of letting small faults pass unnoticed under the idea “it is a little one.” There are no little things in training children; all are important.  Little weeds need plucking up as much as any.  Leave them alone, and they will soon be great.

Reader, if there be any point which deserves your attention, believe me, it is this one.  It is one that will give you trouble, I know.  But if you do not take trouble with your children when they are young, they will give you trouble when they are old. Choose which you prefer.

I would love nothing more than to just give my children every thing that makes them smile at me and jump in my arms with elated excitement over their newest “yes” to whatever they have requested… but this is something that I just cannot do… no matter how much I want to.
It takes work and discipline as a parent to correct your children and to hold to your Word. Sometimes it is much easier to let them have their way… but easier is rarely the most beneficial.
One thing I learned as a parent early on was that when I punished my children I was also punishing me. It affected my life, my plans, my day, my schedule to discipline them accordingly. And yes I learned this parental punishment increases as they get older. But it must be done.
We were listening to the radio the other day and the radio hosts were talking about how kids know whose the “soft” parent and whose the “hard” parent… I looked at my Shelby and laughed and asked her what she thought and I knew what she would say… bless our kids hearts, but they don’t have a “soft” parent. Both my husband and I are pretty strict on obedience and we are on the same team always and our kids know it. We make the hard calls and we back each other up. No matter how much it hurts… Our children’s life and their future literally do depend on it.

Train Up A Child Day 11

Well we have made it over half-way through our Train Up A Child journey with Mr JC Ryle. I have learned that as a parent we have been on the right track in alot of areas and this study has encouraged me to remain diligent and determined to stay on the right track. I have also learned that there are some areas that I need to work on…

Train Up A Child Day Eleven

11.  Train them to a habit of always redeeming the time.
Idleness is the devil’s best friend.  It is the surest way to give him an opportunity of doing us harm.  An idle mind is like an open door, and if Satan does not enter in himself by it, it is certain he will throw in something to raise bad thoughts in our souls.
No created being was ever meant to be idle.  Service and work is the appointed portion of every creature of God.  The angels in heaven work, — they are the Lord’s ministering servants, ever doing His will.  Adam, in Paradise, had work, — he was appointed to dress the garden of Eden, and to keep it.  The redeemed saints in glory will have work, “They rest not day and night singing praise and glory to Him who bought them.” And man, weak, sinful man, must have something to do, or else his soul will soon get into an unhealthy state.  We must have our hands filled, and our minds occupied with something, or else our imaginations will soon ferment and breed mischief.
And what is true of us, is true of our children too.  Alas, indeed, for the man that has nothing to do! The Jews thought idleness a positive sin: it was a law of theirs that every man should bring up his son to some useful trade, — and they were right.  They knew the heart of man better than some of us appear to do.
Idleness made Sodom what she was.  “This was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her” (Ezek. 16:49).  Idleness had much to do with David’s awful sin with the wife of Uriah. — I see in 2 Sam. 11 that Joab went out to war against Ammon, “but David tarried still at Jerusalem.” Was not that idle? And then it was that he saw Bathsheba, — and the next step we read of is his tremendous and miserable fall.
Verily, I believe that idleness has led to more sin than almost any other habit that could be named.  I suspect it is the mother of many a work of the flesh, — the mother of adultery, fornication, drunkenness, and many other deeds of darkness that I have not time to name.  Let your own conscience say whether I do not speak the truth.  You were idle, and at once the devil knocked at the door and came in.
And indeed I do not wonder; — everything in the world around us seems to teach the same lesson.  It is the still water which becomes stagnant and impure: the running, moving streams are always clear.  If you have steam machinery, you must work it, or it soon gets out of order.  If you have a horse, you must exercise him; he is never so well as when he has regular work.  If you would have good bodily health yourself, you must take exercise. 

If you always sit still, your body is sure at length to complain.  And just so is it with the soul.  The active moving mind is a hard mark for the devil to shoot at.  Try to be always full of useful employment, and thus your enemy will find it difficult to get room to sow tares. 

Reader, I ask you to set these things before the minds of your children.  Teach them the value of time, and try to make them learn the habit of using it well.  It pains me to see children idling over what they have in hand, whatever it may be.  I love to see them active and industrious, and giving their whole heart to all they do; giving their whole heart to lessons, when they have to learn; — giving their whole heart even to their amusements, when they go to play.
But if you love them well, let idleness be counted a sin in your family.

When I was growing up there were two words we knew never to say…
“I’m bored”
I grew up with two of my male cousins and my Aunt, when I remember my childhood my Aunt and cousins are always there in my mind’s memory. You see my Aunt was my Mom’s sister and she was married to my Dad’s brother. My Dad and Uncle both drove a diesel truck around the country so my Mom and Aunt helped each other out greatly.
Now both of them hated this phrase “I’m bored”. Usually this phrase was uttered because we five kids had come up with a plan of what we wanted to do or where we wanted to go and we had offered said suggestion to this plan and was told “no”.
So then we thought if we sat around moping, looking absolutely pitiful, with nothing to do… they would look over at us in our pitiful state and choose to do our will. When we were ignored for a matter of time in our purposeful pitiful state we would say “I’m bored”
To this both my Mom and Aunt (who had no doubt been busting their butts doing the needed things to care of two homes and five kids while Dads and Husbands were working away from homewould turn to us and fire would shoot out of their eyes and their heads would lift up and spin around at least three times and then out of their mouths like a sonic boom would come… “BORED! Did you really just say, ‘I’m bored.”???  Well let’s see if you’re so bored then…..”
This would lead to a list of chores of cleaning and working that would take us until bed time to accomplish… oh my talk about a backfire, lol.
And guess what…
true to my raising, if my girls ever make the mistake of uttering this phrase themselves…
and they do…
and yes, they do so with the very same motive that I uttered it when their age…
fire also shoots out of my eyes and my head lifts up and spins around and the sonic boom reply now comes out of my mouth 🙂
I can also still concur with Mr Ryle, busy is better for me. There is an acronym floating around Christendom attached to this word…
I have even used it myself.
BUSY- Being Under Satan’s Yoke.
If you are too “busy” to be about the things of God, then yes you are under Satan’s yoke…
But if your “busy” is about the Father’s business… then I believe this acronym is a lie.
A very dear sister in Christ and I were talking a few days ago about how we do better when we are busy. I have often had people comment on my amount of activity and the truth is I am better in my walk with Christ when I am busy about His business.
Therefore be careful how you walk,
not as unwise men but as wise, 
making the most of your time,
because the days are evil. 
So then do not be foolish,
but understand what the will of the Lord is.
Ephesians 5:15-17

Train Up A Child Day 10

How important is the truth in your home?

Train Up A Child Day Ten

10.  Train them to a habit of always speaking the truth.
Truth-speaking is far less common in the world than at first sight we are disposed to think.  The whole truth, and nothing but the truth, is a golden rule which many would do well to bear in mind.  Lying and prevarication are old sins.  The devil was the father of them, — he deceived Eve by a bold lie, and ever since the fall it is a sin against which all the children of Eve have need to be on their guard.
Only think how much falsehood and deceit there is in the world! How much exaggeration! How many additions are made to a simple story! How many things left out, if it does not serve the speaker’s interest to tell them! How few there are about us of whom we can say, we put unhesitating trust in their word! Verily the ancient Persians were wise in their generation: it was a leading point with them in educating their children, that they should learn to speak the truth.  What an awful proof it is of man’s natural sinfulness, that it should be needful to name such a point at all!
Reader, I would have you remark how often God is spoken of in the Old Testament as the God of truth.  Truth seems to be especially set before us as a leading feature in the character of Him with whom we have to do.  He never swerves from the straight line.  He abhors lying and hypocrisy.  Try to keep this continually before your children’s minds.  Press upon them at all times, that less than the truth is a lie; that evasion, excuse-making, and exaggeration are all halfway houses towards what is false, and ought to be avoided.  Encourage them in any circumstances to be straightforward, and, whatever it may cost them, to speak the truth.
I press this subject on your attention, not merely for the sake of your children’s character in the world, — though I might dwell much on this, — I urge it rather for your own comfort and assistance in all your dealings with them.  You will find it a mighty help indeed, to be able always to trust their word.  It will go far to prevent that habit of concealment, which so unhappily prevails sometimes among children.  Openness and straightforwardness depend much upon a parent’s treatment of this matter in the days of our infancy.

God is very clear on the importance of speaking truth. I would have to say that in all honesty this is probably the biggest struggle of all mankind. This is why it’s importance MUST be taught and practiced in our homes.
We can find all kind of reasons why we think we need to lie about something. We will lie to not hurt someone’s feelings, or to not get ourselves in trouble. We will lie because we simply fear speaking the truth.
We will lie to keep a business deal in place or to get a job or keep a job or too simply stretch the truth or omit information to make more money.
 What is desirable in a man is his kindness,
And it is better to be a poor man than a liar.
Proverbs 19:22
In all honesty I have had a lie come out of my mouth and immediately once it passes through my lips I think “where in the world did that come from and why on earth did I say that?” Usually this happens when I fear that I am going to make someone angry at me or someone is already angry with me and I do not want to make it worse…
I have learned that fear is the root of the lies that have always come out of my mouth… it might not be every one’s root, but it was/is mine.
As I am learning not to fear anyone more than I fear God speaking the truth at all times is becoming much easier and more my nature, because in Christ I received a new nature and I am being transformed more and more into the image of Christ.
As I have learned this about myself through the Holy Spirit and through the study of His Word I am also learning to ask my children the “why” behind their lies. I want them to look at their hearts, to examine themselves, to discover what thing in their flesh led them to speak the lie.
You are of your father the devil,
and you want to do the desires of your father.
He was a murderer from the beginning,
and does not stand in the truth
because there is no truth in him.
Whenever he speaks a lie,
 he speaks from his own nature,
for he is a liar
and the father of lies.
John 8:44
This passage of Scripture is a sobering truth. It was this passage of Scripture that I sat down and shared with my children the first time I caught them in a spoken lie. I believe they were both around the age of 2 yrs old. I sat down with them in my lap and I shared this with them in love and with kindness.
I explained to them that in the future lying to us will bring grave consequences. There are two things in our home that we dealt with using spanking as the discipline… blatant disobedience to something we knew they understood fully and lying. We explained to them how important it was that we could take them at their word and we also shared with them how once trust is lost… it is a long time regaining.
Another sobering passage…
But for the cowardly
and unbelieving
and abominable
and murderers
and immoral persons
and sorcerers
and idolaters
and all liars,
their part will be in the lake
that burns with fire
and brimstone,
which is the second death.”
Revelation 21:8

Only the truth shall last until all eternity…
If we want to share eternity with our children and with our Father we must be people of truth, for our God is the God of truth, our Jesus is the way and the truth and the light.

Train Up A Child Day 9

Jesus said quite plainly that if we love Him we will obey Him.

“If you love Me,
you will keep My commandments.
John 14:15
Here also is this flip side of this… because God so loved us and knew that true love obeys the one they love in faith He not only gave us written instructions on how to obey Him, He sent His own Son as example just to teach us how to obey in love.
Our job as parents is too teach our children how to obey in love and we are too teach them with love, just as Jesus taught us, we are also to teach them by example through our own obedience in love to our own parents, just as Jesus taught us…
Train Up A Child Day Nine

9.  Train them to a habit of obedience.
This is an object which it is worth any labour to attain.  No habit, I suspect, has such an influence over our lives as this. Parents, determine to make your children obey you, though it may cost you much trouble, and cost them many tears.  Let there be no questioning, and reasoning, and disputing, and delaying, and answering again.  When you give them a command, let them see plainly that you will have it done.
Obedience is the only reality.  It is faith visible, faith acting, and faith incarnate.  It is the test of real discipleship among the Lord’s people.  “Ye are My friends if ye do whatsoever I command you” (John 15:14).  It ought to be the mark of well- trained children, that they do whatsoever their parents command them.  Where, in deed, is the honour which the fifth commandment enjoins, if fathers and mothers are not obeyed cheerfully, willingly, and at once?
Early obedience has all Scripture on its side.  It is in Abraham’s praise, not merely he will train his family, but “he will command his children, and his household after him” (Gen. 18:19).  It is said of the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, that when “He was young He was subject to Mary and Joseph” (Luke 2:51).
Observe how implicitly Joseph obeyed the order of his father Jacob (Gen. 37:13).  See how Isaiah speaks of it as an evil thing, when “the child shall behave himself proudly against the ancient” (Isa. 3:5).  Mark how the Apostle Paul names disobedience to parents as one of the bad signs of the latter days (2 Tim. 3:2).  Mark how he singles out this grace of requiring obedience as one that should adorn a Christian minister: “a bishop must be one that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity.” And again, “Let the deacons rule their children and their own houses well ” (1 Tim. 3:4,12).  And again, an elder must be one “having faithful children, children not accused of riot, or unruly” (Tit. 1:6).
Parents, do you wish to see your children happy? Take care, then, that you train them to obey when they are spoken to, — to do as they are bid.  Believe me, we are not made for entire independence, — we are not fit for it.  Even Christ’s freemen have a yoke to wear, they “serve the Lord Christ” (Col. 3:24). 

Children cannot learn too soon that this is a world in which we are not all intended to rule, and that we are never in our right place until we know how to obey our betters.  Teach them to obey while young, or else they will be fretting against God all their lives long, and wear themselves out with the vain idea of being independent of His control.
Reader, this hint is only too much needed.  You will see many in this day who allow their children to choose and think for themselves long before they are able, and even make excuses for their disobedience, as if it were a thing not to be blamed.  To my eyes, a parent always yielding, and a child always having its own way, are a most painful sight; — painful, because I see God’s appointed order of things inverted and turned upside down; — painful, because I feel sure the consequence to that child’s character in the end will be self-will, pride, and self-conceit. You must not wonder that men refuse to obey their Father which is in heaven, if you allow them, when children, to disobey their father who is upon earth.
Parents, if you love your children, let obedience be a motto and a watchword continually before their eyes.


Obedience is evidence of faith and love. We clearly see this from the example of our Savior. We must teach our children to obey us… and then we must expect it. Teaching them the importance of obeying us will teach them the importance of obeying God. And as we teach them to obey us we point them to God… our rules and expectations of our children should always line up with God’s Word. If we teach them to obey God, then obeying us is just part of it.

Tonight at our church was friends and family night for our fall drama, The Judgment Seat. My Shelby is serving in the nursery for our JS actors’ and volunteers’ children and my Bekah is running cards for registration. She was getting ready for a break and so we were about to walk out the door for me to take her to the childcare area. On the way out one of our volunteers was explaining to her that when she got the ice scoop to get ice out of the ice maker she needed to put it up on top, not leave it in the ice maker.
All my Bekah seemed to catch was “this goes on top”  
To which she replied, “no, Jesus goes on top.”
Then our volunteer laughed and said “well yes put this under Jesus then.
Then Bekah replied, “but parents go under Jesus.

Whew! Well we have made it the first seven years with stuff in the correct order…
I’ll let you know how things look five to six years from now 🙂

Train Up A Child Day 8

Have you ever considered that you can help your child to learn to have faith?

And He answered them and said,
“O unbelieving generation, how long shall I be with you?
How long shall I put up with you?
Bring him to Me!” 
They brought the boy to Him.
When he saw Him, immediately the spirit threw him
into a convulsion, and falling to the ground,
he began rolling around and foaming at the mouth. 
And He asked his father,
“How long has this been happening to him?”
And he said, “From childhood. 
It has often thrown him both into the fire
and into the water to destroy him.
But if You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!” 
And Jesus said to him, “‘If You can?’
All things are possible to him who believes.” 
Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said,
“I do believe; help my unbelief.”
Mark 9:19-24
Yes, God has placed upon us the great and mighty privilege and responsibility of teaching our children how to believe, how to trust, how to have faith. We can indeed be used by our God to help their unbelief. We will be used by God to train them up to a habit of faith… if we ourselves surrender to this habit of faith ourselves.
Train Up A Child Day Eight

8.  Train them to a habit of faith.
I mean by this, you should train them up to believe what you say.  You should try to make them feel confidence in your judgment, and respect your opinions, as better than their own. You should accustom them to think that, when you say a thing is bad for them, it must be bad, and when you say it is good for them, it must be good; that your knowledge, in short, is better than their own, and that they may rely implicitly on your word. Teach them to feel that what they know not now, they will probably know hereafter, and to be satisfied there is a reason and a needs-be for everything you require them to do.
Who indeed can describe the blessedness of a real spirit of faith? Or rather, who can tell the misery that unbelief has brought upon the world?

Unbelief made Eve eat the forbidden fruit, — she doubted the truth of God’s word: “Ye shall surely die.”
Unbelief made the old world reject Noah’s warning, and so perish in sin. 
Unbelief kept Israel in the wilderness, — it was the bar that kept them from entering the promised land. 
Unbelief made the Jews crucify the Lord of glory, — they believed not the voice of Moses and the prophets, though read to them every day. 
And unbelief is the reigning sin of man’s heart down to this very hour, — unbelief in God’s promises, — unbelief in God’s threatenings, — unbelief in our own sinfulness, — unbelief in our own danger, — unbelief in everything that runs counter to the pride and worldliness of our evil hearts. 

Reader, you train your children to little purpose if you do not train them to a habit of implicit faith, — faith in their parents’ word, confidence that what their parents say must be right.
I have heard it said by some, that you should require nothing of children which they cannot understand that you should explain and give a reason for everything you desire them to do.  I warn you solemnly against such a notion.  I tell you plainly, I think it an unsound and rotten principle. 

No doubt it is absurd to make a mystery of everything you do, and there are many things which it is well to explain to children, in order that they may see that they are reasonable and wise. 

But to bring them up with the idea that they must take nothing on trust, that they, with their weak and imperfect understandings, must have the “why” and the “wherefore” made clear to them at every step they take, — this is indeed a fearful mistake, and likely to have the worst effect on their minds.
Reason with your child if you are so disposed, at certain times, but never forget to keep him in mind (if you really love him) that he is but a child after all, — that he thinks as a child, he understands as a child, and therefore must not expect to know the reason of everything at once.
Set before him the example of Isaac, in the day when Abraham took him to offer him on Mount Moriah (Gen. 22).  He asked his father that single question, “Where is the lamb for a burnt-offering?” and he got no answer but this, “God will provide Himself a lamb.”

How, or where, or whence, or in what manner, or by what means, — all this Isaac was not told; but the answer was enough.  He believed that it would be well, because his father said so, and he was content. 

Tell your children, too, that we must all be learners in our beginnings, that there is an alphabet to be mastered in every kind of knowledge, — that the best horse in the world had need once to be broken, — that a day will come when they will see the wisdom of all your training.  But in the meantime if you say a thing is right, it must be enough for them, — they must believe you, and be content.
Parents, if any point in training is important, it is this.  I charge you by the affection you have to your children, use every means to train them up to a habit of faith.

As a Christian parent I have come to realize that God is on my side. He has a way of backing my words and proving my point without me ever having to do a thing but trust Him. I have lost count of the times He has stepped in with what we like to call in our family a “God-slap”. 
A small example is when the girls were little we could tell them to stop running in the house. And if they refused to obey and continued to run when we left the room, it would never fail that they would fall or run into something, then they would come to us crying wanting pity and sympathy, we would look and say “Were you running in the house after we told you not to?”
They would sheepishly nod their “yeses”
And we would remind them that God was watching even when we were not. And they needed to be thankful that their disobedience did not cause more harm than what they had already received.
When we tell them to do something or not to do something we are not trying to be mean or ruin their fun. We just know more than they do and we knew that this would eventually happen if they kept running in the house. 
We have also learned that if we as parents will be faithful in prayer and fellowship with our Savior, the Holy Spirit will let us in on what is going on in our girls hearts and lives, even things they are trying so hard to hide from us. He will give us a heads up. He will let us see things that apart from His eyes we would have never seen. My husband and I both have learned and have often have reminded our girls that we are fully aware of the knowledge that God is on our side and we actually know more about them than what we let them know we know.
Honor your father and your mother,
that your days may be prolonged in the land
which the LORD your God gives you.
Exodus 20:12
This 5th Commandment is our stamp of legality to be able to say in full confidence “because I said so, that’s why!”
I have never felt the need nor the desire to “explain myself” to my children, neither has my husband. My parents never felt the need either. I learned to either take their word, believe it, and walk in it with a happy ending… or I could ignore it and suffer the consequences.
I can in all honesty tell you that I have absolutely no recollection of my parent’s ever being wrong. In my minds memory and my heart’s confidence I can only recall that they spoke truth to me at all times and every time I went against their truth I suffered greatly.
This is the awesome benefit of godly parents who choose their words wisely and speak honestly. I learned that I could take God at His Word because I had first learned that I could take my parent’s at theirs.
My parents spoke truth, they meant what they said, and said what they meant.
Now note my parents were not perfect. I know they look back and wish they had done certain things differently… but what they did do was in truth and in love, not pampering love, but perfecting love.
You shall be careful to perform
what goes out from your lips,
just as you have voluntarily vowed
to the LORD your God,
what you have promised.
Deuteronomy 23:23
This is indeed one of the hardest commands to keep with children where discipline is concerned. The old saying “this hurts me more than it hurts you” is really true, yet you just don’t get it until you become a parent.
You set your standard of discipline and then they break your commands, your rules, and you have to flesh out your words. You must administer the exact discipline you said would be the consequence and there is no turning back ever. If you slip the first time, if you cave, you are in trouble.
If you say it, do it.
Teach your children that your Word can be trusted and is to be obeyed.