Left Behind

So far, it appears as though this house selling thing is really going to happen. Plans are that this coming Tuesday, as in 5 days, we will be passing our current home to another family. As I sit here now and walk around in our home… my feelings vary. I am partly dreading the packing and unpacking, partly excited to be moving into our new home, and partly feeling very sad about the moments, memories, and milestones that will be left behind as we say goodbye.

The horsey swing. It has been with us since for at least ten years. I cannot count the children that I love that have swung on this swing. Every child of mine, every niece and nephew, and every guest under 100 lbs that has ever been to our home. It will stay to be swung on by another little boy and I am sure more little boys and girls to come. May it be as good to them as it was to us.


The trampoline. Shelby and Bekah saved their own money to make this purchase. They were so proud of themselves for saying no to all the little spending’s in order to save their money to make this big purchase. We were very proud of them as well. Our new home will not have the yard room for a trampoline, so they have sold it with the house and will be purchasing water park summer passes with the profit.


The swing-set. My dad built this for the girls. I have enjoyed the many moments I have watched them outside swinging on it. I laugh at the countless fights I refereed over who got what color seat.  I sigh as I recall the moments that I, myself, sat in one of those swings and enjoyed a still, quiet, afternoon in the breeze…


The clothesline. My husband built this for me. I have loved it. I will miss the smell of the sun dried sheets and towels and I will miss watching them dance on the line during the strong spring winds. I always looked forward to that first spring day that was warm enough to put the towels on the line but not yet warm enough to begin the pollen season. I also will never forget our neighbor who walked over with a news article about the tradition of hanging clothes on the line when she saw my girls out helping me. She has her own clothes line and was tickled pink to see me teaching this to our girls. Who needs a dryer on a warm sunny day?


The rosemary bush. I killed at least three of these things trying to keep them in the house. Finally out of frustration I dug a hole and stuck this bush in it. It has thrived. I cannot tell you the meals that this rosemary bush has made absolutely delicious. It will be missed… an herb garden will be one of the first things planted in our new backyard. There is no yard too small for an herb garden. Fresh herbs simply are a must for any great meal.


The tree. This is one of two maple trees that I planted. I hope they continue to grow and one day offer the beautiful shade and contrast that I hoped they would as they stood in the midst of the pines.


The crepe myrtle. My Shelby gave this to me. It was one lone sprig when I planted it… one day I hope it will mature and be a beautiful tree with gorgeous blooms… I have the same hope for the one who gave it to me. God blessed me with my Shelby and I pray that she matures and becomes a beautiful tree of life with gorgeous gospel declaring blooms.


The rose bush. It’s small, but it faithfully blooms every year. This was a gift from my church for Mother’s Day. My girls were so excited to present it to me. I have looked forward to it peaking up through the mulch every spring. It would remind me that life is there, even when sometimes we can’t see it. It has given me hope when I have struggled with whether or not a loved one really new the LORD. When I struggled with whether or not they had eternal life… because to my eyes all I saw was left over dead sprigs… but underneath life was there… and when God called it to spring forth and break through the mulch and reach up to the glorious sun and soak in heaven’s rain… it would. My girls have prayed to receive Christ. They have admitted their sin, believed in Him and His Word, and have confessed Him as their Lord and Savior… but life has taught me that many times a young believer gets lost for a while in life and looks as dead as any son of Adam. So if this one day happens to them (though I pray desperately that they remain faithful to their God and His Word) the memory of this Mother’s Day’s rose will be there to give this mother hope.


My sacred spot. This is where I have had my quiet times with my God. Here is where I have leaned on Him and the truth in His Word. Here is where He would meet with me and I with Him. Jesus went up on the mountain to pray… I came here. This is where I sit now as I type out these words. Here is where God birthed Devotions From Genesis and Devotions From Exodus. Here is where God birthed just about every Bible study lesson I have taught in the last five years. Here is where I would pour out my hurts and anger and frustrations and doubts. Here is where I would break out into songs and tears of joy as I experienced Him and His presence. Here is where I would say “yes” and “amen” to my King.

Into this sky I would look as I hashed out my hurts and shared my joys with my God. Into this sky I would look with hopeful expectation for the return of my Savior.  Into this sky I would look and I could almost feel the eyes of my God upon me as I searched for Him. I would watch the wind in the tops of the trees and remember Elijah on the mountain and John 3… and how the Lord was in the quiet wind. Other times I would come out and watch the storms and I would remember Job and Psalm 18 and Revelation and how thunder and lightning surround His throne and how the LORD speaks through the whirlwind…


These tangible things will be left behind as we move to a different place… but the memories will go with me. I look forward to finding my sacred spot in our new home. I look forward to planting new trees and new plants and herbs. I look forward to making more memories. I pray that God will use our family in this new home to be a light of the gospel of Christ. I pray that He will go before us and place those in our path that need the seed of life sowed in their hearts, or watered, or tended, or even harvested. May our move not be in vain, nor simply for our own pleasure… but may He be able to use us for His divine purpose.

In the same breath… all these tangible things, and the neighbors that surround them, makes the chance of the “not sold” for whatever unforeseen reason not so disappointing or devastating. We are actually at a place that if we stay it is good and if we go it is good. I like this place of peace. This place of remembering that He is in control. I hope I stay here wherever we go…

Sink or Float


Oh my today was a day…

I woke up at 6am and started towels to put on the line and washed the dishes and made my morning coffee, took the dog out, and while outside my husband pulled into the driveway home from the night shift. I started to grab my Bible and laptop and come outside with my coffee, but I came in with my husband and watched a DVR’d episode of Master Chef.

After he had fast forwarded through all the commercials and we got in touch with the termite bond man and found out he would not be here until after 3pm, my husband headed to the shower and bed. I then switched the tv to the christian music channel and opened my Bible and notebook.

It seemed to be a pretty good morning. The appraiser and the termite bond guy would not be here until after 3pm. I had spent some time with my husband and my God and now I woke my Shelby and began to clean the floors. The plan was to be at the church by 10am to get my work done so I could be home by 3pm after picking up my Bekah at 2:30pm.

I made it to the church by 11am and had spent another hour on my Wed night Zapped lesson and got several other things accomplished and was heading out the door by 2:15pm to pick up my Bekah and be home by 3pm.

About 3:01pm I pull in the driveway and the termite bond guy comes in not far behind me. So I yell for him to come in as I am putting some wildflowers I cut, out of the woods from the side of the road on the way home, in a vase for the dining room table (that you could actually find until the second we walked in the door from church tonight).

I leave the termite bond guy to my husband as I go on to make beds and put away clothes before the appraiser gets there to take pictures. By 3:50pm the termite bond guy is gone and now my husband finally manages to connect with me that the appraiser had already been there… thus the reason he was awake before I woke him at 3pm… so the appraisal pics were done without my made beds or beautiful wildflower bouquet.

By 4:15pm I am headed back to church because our internet is still non functioning and I still need to take care of some things before church services begin.

By 5:30 I realize I am going to have to take my Shelby to her youth pool party and so I mad dash her to the pool party and then mad dash myself and Bekah back to church to fight with the computer some more.

Yep that lesson plan I had worked on… finding and uploading just the right videos and pics… I can’t get it to work. Our youth minister who knows how to do all this stuff is at the pool party… so after fighting with this computer and tv for about 30 min… I have a room full of kids and by now I am fighting frustration tears…

I am swaying between anger and frustration and dissappointment and well it’s just not good. I am ready to either crawl under the floor or have a good ole fashion southern girl hissy-fit. Yet, all my babies are watching… and so is my Jesus. He has allowed this for some reason. So I breathe.

I kick into plan B and pull out the DVD’s and we wing it. I begin with prayer and let God and His Spirit get my priorities and purpose back in focus and after a little “Happy and You Know It” and and getting a little “Zapped” and then some “I Will Follow”, me on my own knees and watching these hearts on theirs… I take some more deep breathes and actually am ready to share the Bible lesson with these beautiful ones even without the picture slide show I had put together.

Fearing that this night’s lesson was going to be an epic fail, I finally realized that quite simply Satan just did not want someone in that room to here what God’s Word had to say tonight… so with determination the night went on… and tonight I had the privilege to share the truth and love of God with eternal souls, one on one with three children who came to me to share their struggles and fears.

So tonight I was reminded who was in control. I was reminded that I am dependant upon God’s power every second… I was reminded that I can’t let myself focus on all that’s going wrong. I can’t get caught up in fear and worry or frustration. Just like Peter had to keep his eyes on Christ when he stepped out of that boat to obey his Master’s command, I have to as well.

Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand

and took hold of him, and said to him,

“You of little faith, why did you doubt?”

Matthew 14:31

Not So Funny Dream


Last night was another crazy dream night. I have crazy dreams all the time… but usually they don’t hang with me after I wake up… but this one has.

I dreamed I was at a funeral. It was the funeral of a beautiful woman of God that has gone on to be with the LORD. I was there and the room was full. For some reason instead of her being in the casket, laying down, they decided to stand her like a mummy… to present her before the crowd.

The adults were all sitting quietly in their chairs and then over to the side were all the children and they were all wearing their Awana gear. Possibly they were there to sing. I am not sure.

The next thing I know, this woman who was dead is now alive, and she is speaking to us all sitting there. Now this woman, before her death, was known and respected as a wonderful godly woman.

She begins to speak and all ears are open, people grab notebooks and pens, and some even come and sit at her feet. Everyone waiting to hear just one more drop of wisdom and direction fall from her lips. Everyone had missed her so. Now here she is speaking to us once again.

I sit in awe… wondering if this is true.

Then she speaks.

At first it sounds like her. It sounds like her soft loving voice. I begin to listen and wonder if this is of God. Has He a message for us from her? Something just doesn’t feel right. Scripture is going around and around in my head as I try to Biblically okay what is going on at this moment.  I look around and see everyone so entranced and I feel utterly alone as I doubt this moment I am in. I listen for truth. I am watching and trying not to distract from whatever purpose this woman has…

Then something changes… the soft voice becomes harsh. She begins making demands and commands and expectations… everyone around me claps and does whatever she says.

My heart begins to pound and then I remember the children and I look over to them… watching this. All the adults around me are smiling, and clapping, and saying their amens.

Then this woman who in her life was a beautiful godly woman, who went to be with the LORD in her death, begins to speak venomous lies that are meant to infect hearts with ugly propaganda and hate and I recognize it as such. But I am alone… no one else seems to see. They all seem to heartily agree with whatever she speaks.

I look and the children… they are not clapping.

I stand and I look this woman in the eye and I know that it is not the woman I knew. The woman I knew is with her LORD. This is a thing of Satan in the shell of an image of my God.

I stand, yet no one notices but the thing in the shell.

I stand and l desire to rebuke but no words will come, but the children see me stand.

They stand with me.

They stand and they follow me out of the room… the thing in the shell keeps speaking venom and the adults in the room keep clapping… keep taking notes… they are hanging on the things every word, but I grab the children and I slowly walk out the room looking to see if anyone even notices… looking to see if anyone will follow.

They don’t.

I get the children to the safety of another room behind locked doors and my heart is pounding in my chest and in my ears…

Then I wake up.

As much as I would like to say this is only a dream… I know that it is not. Everyday the living dead speak lies and everyday the adults around them hang on their every word and applaud them because they choose to worship this shell instead of  Truth.

God has called me to rescue His children. He has called His church to rescue His children. To lead them out of the presence of the lies of the living dead into His room of safety.

I believe a day is coming that the LORD will no longer allow the rebuke. The deluding influence is coming… speaking lies and many will believe and cheer and applaud and be mesmerized. The lies will come from someone they first grew to love and respect… they will be sucked in… if they do not follow the truth.

Then that lawless one will be revealed whom the Lord will slay with the breath of His mouth and bring to an end by the appearance of His coming; that is, the one whose coming is in accord with the activity of Satan, with all power and signs and false wonders, and with all the deception of wickedness for those who perish, because they did not receive the love of the truth so as to be saved. For this reason God will send upon them a deluding influence so that they will believe what is false, in order that they all may be judged who did not believe the truth, but took pleasure in wickedness.

2 Thessalonians 2:8-12  

The children of this day are watching… they are searching for who and what is real and right and true. If you were to stand without saying a word… would the children in the room know it was safe to follow you?

I pray that as God works in and through me that the children of this day, not just my own, but all those that God allows in my path, will know that it is safe to follow me. That they will know that I have always spoken truth to them before and I need not have to convince them that God’s way is true in fancy flowing words… but my actions had proven me and proven my God to them.


Where Are You Men of Courage?


Our pre-teen daughter bought the movie Courageous yesterday with a gift card that was given her by a very special woman in our church. She bought this movie because she wanted to watch it with her Daddy. The first time we saw it her Daddy was at work and was not able to see it. That was well over six months ago. From the moment she saw it she has thought of nothing but watching it with him.

Last night she did.

She claimed she wanted him to see the funny parts… but she doesn’t know that I could see past that… and when the moment came in the movie when the Daddy took his daughter out and asked her to trust him with her heart and trust his approval over any boy that would want to pursue her… I was watching and I saw what I knew I would see… her looking to her Father to see if he was watching the movie at that very point. You see deep down I knew that was why she wanted him to see that movie with her.

Every girl wants a man she can trust with her heart. A man she can trust to protect her. A man she can trust to provide and care for her. It should be her daddy… and her daddy should introduce her to her Heavenly Father so that she will know that if something ever happens to him, if he somehow fails her, her Heavenly Father never will.

Sadly we live in a day where instead of me telling my girls they can trust a man to protect them… we have to warn them that men will hurt them. Instead of us telling them, don’t get on this elevator unless there is a man on there who could stay calm and strong and help them if the elevator was to have trouble, we have to tell them never, ever, ever get on an elevator alone with a man. Instead of us telling them that they can trust a man to protect them, we have to warn them that many men carry a perversion in them and that perversion will lead these men to hurt them in ways we cannot even describe to them.

I was blessed to grow up with a Father that I knew would die for me. I was blessed to marry a man that I know would die for me… and therefore my girls also have a father that I know would die for them. He would stand before Goliath himself, in a split second, never hesitating a moment, should Goliath attempt to hurt one of his girls.

We need men to raise men. We need more men like my Father, like my husband, who can teach a boy to be a man.

So as he asked in the movie… where are you men of courage?

Where are you men of courage who will step out of the comfort of the pew that your head bobs back and forth fighting sleep in… and get down on your knees in the children’s wing and lead a 2 yr old little man who has no father to lead him?

Where are you men of courage who will stop complaining about the music, about the length of the service, about how no one goes out their way to talk to and will step into the life of a young man, a pre-teen, a teenager, who has no one at all?

Where are you men of courage who will stop using the heart of a woman to meet your own fleshly lust and will instead sacrifice yourself to protect her mind, body, and soul?

You want to be wild at heart?

You want to serve and protect and fight the good fight?

You want to battle evil and stand up for good?

Then stop living out a fantasy on a tv/computer screen and invest in what’s real and eternal. Do it. Do it right. Lay down your life for another.

Stop allowing the lives of these little hearts to be the prey to the evil one while you bob and nod your head in the service.

Stand up.

Come out of the corner with your fists raised and bob and weave, bob and weave, bob and weave in the ring of life. Get in the real cage that our children have been cast to the prowling, roaring lion in, and fight for their eternity.

It’s not about being perfect… it’s about being fierce, intentional, diligent and determined.

How many of you have watched that movie and like he said in the movie… your spirit stirred… but you have not?

What are you waiting for?