Author Archives: Nicole Vaughn

>Faith Isn’t Faith Until It’s Been Tested

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Now it came about after these things,
that God tested Abraham.
Genesis 22:1
 
God does not tempt us, but He does test us. Faith is not faith until it has been tested, and Abraham’s day of testing has come. God calls out to Abraham and asks him to take Isaac, his only son, and offer him as a sacrifice to Him onMt.Moriah.
 
How hard it must have been for Abraham to hear this command from his Lord—to go and sacrifice his promised son as a burnt offering to the Lord. I am sure for a moment it brought confusion to Abraham’s mind, but Abraham had learned who God was, and so he obeyed.
 
Abraham went up to Mt.Moriahto worship the Lord. We see Abraham’s faith when he turns to his young men and says, “Stay here with the donkey, and I and the lad will go over there; and we will worship and return to you” (Genesis 22:5). Abraham expected Isaac to return with him, and he declared it to be so.
 
He went to be obedient and to offer his son on the altar, as God had commanded. This was a huge step of faith for Abraham, but Abraham knew God had said that through Isaac he would become a great nation.
 
Hebrews 11:19 says that “he considered that God is able to raise people even from the dead, from which he also received him back as a type.” As Abraham had contemplated his own body when God said at the age of one hundred he would have a son, he now contemplates the resurrection of Isaac’s body because of the promise given to him by God.
 
Once again Abraham worships God through obedience to his word. Abraham doesn’t argue or delay. God honored Abraham’s obedience at the moment the knife was raised in total abandonment and full devotion to his God. An angel stayed the hand of Abraham, and a ram was provided for the sacrifice.
 
In Matthew 5:28 Jesus declares, “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
 
With God it is always about the heart.
 
In Isaiah 29:13 God says, “This people draw near with their words and honor Me with their lip service, but they remove their hearts far from Me, and their reverence for Me consists of tradition learned by rote.”
 
God doesn’t judge us by our outward actions, as man does; He judges our hearts.
 
Abraham did not have to physically sacrifice his son for God and have God prove He could raise Isaac from the dead. God knew Abraham already believed in his heart that He would raise Isaac from the dead. It is said that actions speak louder than words, but in God’s world, the heart speaks louder than both.
 
Oh Father,
 
True worship is about sacrifice and obedience; sacrifice of self—of my wants and my desires. Sacrifice of anything that comes between me and You. Sacrifice of anything I put before You in my life. True love only comes with the sacrifice of self. I can sacrifice all for You only because You first sacrificed all for me. I can live in complete obedience to You and Your Word because I can trust that You will keep Your word. You have proved Yourself to me countless times, just as You proved Yourself to Abraham. Thank You, my Father God, for being my God.
 
My Jesus, it is in Your name I pray,
Amen.

>Cultivating Character

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>Encouraging the cultivation of character is exactly what wise parents do, nudging, urging their children toward maturity. As a parent, you have occasions in your life, brief vignettes, little windows of time, where you can step forward and help your children to understand the value of being brave. As they grow up and those hands-on occasions change to a more distant relationship, you must call upon your children to stand for what they believe, even if they must stand alone—and then trust them to do it without you alongside.
~ Swindoll

We had an eventful morning in the Vaughn household. My girls are playing basketball. We are playing in the area that we will be living in when our house sells. We began playing ball in this area this past spring. We received a phone call this morning that our girls would not be allowed to continue to play due to our current address. 

Oh I was heartbroke.

You see my girls missed basketball season last year because they spent it in the hospital and at my mom’s helping take care of their Aunt Tracy. My girls were wonderful if I do say so myself. They spent many days doing school in the STICU waiting room and then willingly were drug to my mom’s to do school in her kitchen while I cared for my sister. They got to see how a family takes care of each other and they loved being a part of it, even if it was just running up stairs to get a towel or holding a drink for my sister. They were not bitter at all, they understood when I explained how Aunt Tracy needed us now and basketball would be there next season.

So they were so excited to be playing this year. They had met there coach, their team, ordered uniforms, and had a practice… they were crushed when I delivered the news…

Now my first response in feelings was anger, then hurt, then deception. I thought, no I said, just let me refill out the paperwork I will put my parent’s address. I was ready to reach into my roledex and pull out whatever names I needed to in order to keep my girls on that team.

Then I knew that the only name I needed to pull out was Jesus Christ.

So I went to my girls and we stood in the middle of our living room and we held hands and we prayed. We prayed that God would open the doors for them to be able to play if it was His will. We prayed that He would do it according to the rules with no manipulation on my part. We prayed also that He would sell our house so we wouldn’t have to go through this again. We prayed that His will be done, and we said in Jesus name, and amen, and we began school.

Not even an hour later the phone rings.

Guess what? There is no 9-10 yr old girls basketball team in our current area so according to the rules Shelby could play any where she wanted! And also according to the rules Bekah could play up on Shelby’s team!!

I could not wait to tell my girls. I cried and looked up to my God and told Him, Thank You!!!

I came in and shared the God-news with my girls and Shelby ran and jumped in my arms and Bekah joyfully exclaimed, “Momma, God answered us quick!”

Oh how good He is!!

How thankful I am that God convicted my heart to turn this over to Him and trust Him with it. In doing so He used it as an awesome opportunity to display His glory, His love, His concern, and His realness to His girls!

Train up a child in the way he should go,
Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

>Cultivating Character

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>Encouraging the cultivation of character is exactly what wise parents do, nudging, urging their children toward maturity. As a parent, you have occasions in your life, brief vignettes, little windows of time, where you can step forward and help your children to understand the value of being brave. As they grow up and those hands-on occasions change to a more distant relationship, you must call upon your children to stand for what they believe, even if they must stand alone—and then trust them to do it without you alongside.
~ Swindoll

We had an eventful morning in the Vaughn household. My girls are playing basketball. We are playing in the area that we will be living in when our house sells. We began playing ball in this area this past spring. We received a phone call this morning that our girls would not be allowed to continue to play due to our current address. 

Oh I was heartbroke.

You see my girls missed basketball season last year because they spent it in the hospital and at my mom’s helping take care of their Aunt Tracy. My girls were wonderful if I do say so myself. They spent many days doing school in the STICU waiting room and then willingly were drug to my mom’s to do school in her kitchen while I cared for my sister. They got to see how a family takes care of each other and they loved being a part of it, even if it was just running up stairs to get a towel or holding a drink for my sister. They were not bitter at all, they understood when I explained how Aunt Tracy needed us now and basketball would be there next season.

So they were so excited to be playing this year. They had met there coach, their team, ordered uniforms, and had a practice… they were crushed when I delivered the news…

Now my first response in feelings was anger, then hurt, then deception. I thought, no I said, just let me refill out the paperwork I will put my parent’s address. I was ready to reach into my roledex and pull out whatever names I needed to in order to keep my girls on that team.

Then I knew that the only name I needed to pull out was Jesus Christ.

So I went to my girls and we stood in the middle of our living room and we held hands and we prayed. We prayed that God would open the doors for them to be able to play if it was His will. We prayed that He would do it according to the rules with no manipulation on my part. We prayed also that He would sell our house so we wouldn’t have to go through this again. We prayed that His will be done, and we said in Jesus name, and amen, and we began school.

Not even an hour later the phone rings.

Guess what? There is no 9-10 yr old girls basketball team in our current area so according to the rules Shelby could play any where she wanted! And also according to the rules Bekah could play up on Shelby’s team!!

I could not wait to tell my girls. I cried and looked up to my God and told Him, Thank You!!!

I came in and shared the God-news with my girls and Shelby ran and jumped in my arms and Bekah joyfully exclaimed, “Momma, God answered us quick!”

Oh how good He is!!

How thankful I am that God convicted my heart to turn this over to Him and trust Him with it. In doing so He used it as an awesome opportunity to display His glory, His love, His concern, and His realness to His girls!

Train up a child in the way he should go,
Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

>Everlasting God

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Abraham planted
a tamarisk tree at Beersheba,
and there he called
on the name of the Lord,
the Everlasting God.
Genesis 21:33
 
We have learned so much about God just from the study of His names. Through His name God reveals to us His attributes. Let us take a close and detailed look at this name of God revealed to us by Abraham in Beersheba. Everlasting God is El Olam in Hebrew— El meaning “strength, mighty,” especially the almighty; Olam meaning “eternity, always, ancient, everlasting, perpetual, beginning of the world, and without end.”
 
The Lord the God of eternal strength. The God who is always mighty. The God who is perpetually powerful. The one who is the great, mighty one from the beginning of the world and is without end. Psalm 90:2 declares, “Before the mountains were born or You gave birth to the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, You are God”.
 
This is our God, the one who seeks us. “There was the true Light which coming into the world, enlightens every man. He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him” (John 1:9–10). God has been calling out to man from the beginning. He has been calling out to all man.
 
He called out to Abram. He calls out to the world. He comes and he enlightens every man. Abraham responded to Him and called on the name of the Lord the Everlasting God.
 
Abraham planted a tamarisk tree, an evergreen. These trees grow tall, and they are strong. They are able to tolerate conditions that destroy other trees. Their roots are able to reach deep into the soil and bring up the salt and water that is needed to sustain its life. By doing this, it is able to eliminate the competition of other plants in its area. It is spread from one place to another by cuttings.
 
God cut Abraham from his home and from his family. He also cut him from the false gods he worshiped. He, however, did not remove Abraham from the world or blind him to the temptations of this world. God did not have to because He knew that the deep-rooted life that He would give Abraham would destroy all competition of all other gods and any temptation he might face.
 
Abraham had learned so much about the One who called him out of theUrof the Chaldeans. This unknown God who spoke to him and gave him this amazing promise of a seed, of a land, had fulfilled His promise. This God who had protected him and provided for him and walked with him every step of the way. This God who is the Everlasting God is the same God that calls us out of the world and into His glorious presence.
 
Abraham’s journey is recorded for us that we too might learn about this unknown God who sent His Son to die for us. This Son “whom He appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the world.” (Hebrews 1:2).
 
This God blessed us with His written Word that we might know and understand who He is and who we are in light of Him. May we never take for granted the opportunity we have to rest in the truths found in the names of our God revealed to us in the Scriptures.
 
God speaks through David in Psalm 69:36, and He says “The descendants of His servants will inherit it, and those who love His name will dwell in it.”

Do you love His name?

“Blessed be the name of the Lord from this time forth and forever. From the rising of the sun to its setting the name of the Lord is to be praised” (Psalm 113:2–3).

 
May we never forget that our God is the mighty one from before the beginning of time and He is without end. Oh, precious one, learn who He is, that you too might live and walk in Him.
 
Oh Father,
 
What a miracle to even be able to call upon Your name. To know that in You and through You and for You, I too am now without end. I am able to forever worship You and call on Your name; one day to even be able to stand with Abraham and worship You with him. My mind cannot even wrap around this truth. Everlasting God, may Your eternal life take deep root in me. May I be so satisfied in You that the desires of this world are destroyed for they cannot compete with You. You are the Creator of time itself and You are not bound by it. You are perpetual, ancient of days, great and good. You are my God, and I worship You.
 
My Jesus, it is in Your name I pray,
Amen.
 
 

Ugh Nightmares!

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confessions

When I was younger I used to be able to handle the “scary movie” or at least I thought I was handling them anyway. I remember one that I used to watch that was called Nightmare on Elm Street. These “nightmares” centered around blood and gore and other just really gross stuff. This was Hollywood’s idea of a nightmare.

As a grown woman and a mother of three I learned along time ago that real life was scary enough, I did not need Hollywood helping me out in the nightmare area. My own mind was sufficient enough to scare me to death. I certainly did not need to visit Freddie, Michael, Jason, or the Candyman to have the snot scared out of me. I also know there are demons, they are real, the Bible tells me that plainly. I don’t need Hollywood’s depiction of them, I’ll just take God’s word and I’ll learn from those who have been a part of casting them out, not glorifying them for money.

Last night I had one of my scariest nightmares, this is a repeated one, but it comes in different forms, but it’s the same theme. I am in a busy place with my girls, last night it reminded me of New Orleans, but it was a festival time, there were acrobats and those people that juggle while walking on really tall stilts, and people everywhere. I had both my girls and we were trying to find something or someone, I don’t remember, all I remember is looking down and Bekah was gone.

I then hit panic. I take a death grip on Shelby as I look frantically for Bekah, then I turn around and I now have my nieces and nephews and even some of the kids from our church with me. I want to run to find Bekah, but I can’t now because the rest of the children with me wouldn’t be able to keep up and I fear losing one of them. I finally begin to scream Bekah’s name and the place just seems to magnify in size and the crowd of people multiplies, my heart is pounding, and I can’t breathe, and at the same time I don’t want to scare or lose the other children.

Finally something in me begins to register and I think “Oh God let this be a dream, please let it be a dream!” I manage to wake myself up and look and my Bekah and my Shelby are safe in the bed asleep.

Deep sigh of relief…

Yes, I still had to look at them before my heart stopped pounding. Just waking and discovering I was in a dream was not enough. I wanted physical evidence that they were safe under my wing.

As a wife and mother, this is my nightmare.

I do not fear to the point of nightmares about my child being sick or hurt, I do not want them sick or hurt, but this does not cause me to wake up in a heart pounding cold sweat. However, losing my children, having someone steal my children, this is my nightmare. I can’t stand the thought of it. This indeed gives me nights filled with sheer terror.

When David arose in the morning,
the word of the LORD came to the prophet Gad,
David’s seer, saying,  “Go and speak to David,
‘Thus the LORD says, “I am offering you three things;
choose for yourself one of them, which I will do to you.”’
So Gad came to David and told him,
and said to him,
“Shall seven years of famine come to you in your land?
Or will you flee three months before your foes while they pursue you?
Or shall there be three days’ pestilence in your land?
Now consider and see
what answer I shall return to Him who sent me.” 
Then David said to Gad,
“I am in great distress.
Let us now fall into the hand of the LORD
for His mercies are great,
but do not let me fall into the hand of man.”
2 Samuel 24:11-14
This is one of my prayers to my God. “Father, please let my children fall into Your hands, for Your mercy is great, please do not let them fall into the hands of man.” For me there is no worse thing than to not know where my children are or who has them.
It’s just not natural for a mother to not have all her chicks under her wing. This is why the hen will peck your eyes out and the dog bite your hand off and the bear knock your head off. Don’t mess with the babies!
Ecclesiastes 3:3 says…
A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
I joke that this momma will have a prison ministry if anyone ever lays a hand on one of my babies… but then again not so sure I am really joking.

>God Hears Our Cries

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Do not fear, for God has heard …
then God opened her eyes
and she saw a well of water.
Genesis 21:17, 19
Hagar and Ishmael, who is now around the age of seventeen, have been sent away by Abraham. He sent them with food and water, but they used up their provisions before they found a new home. Hagar is now fearing for the life of her child. She leaves him under a bush and goes off to cry, for she cannot bear the sight of watching her son die of dehydration.
Hagar’s cries do not go unheard. The angel of God calls out to Hagar from heaven and says, “What is the matter with you, Hagar?” (Genesis 21:17). The angel tells her not to fear, and then he tells her that God is going to make a great nation out of Ishmael.
Another promise is given. Ishmael cannot die in the wilderness if God has promised to make a great nation from him. I think that Hagar believed this promise to be true and then God opened her eyes and she finally saw the well of water.
Once again we see in Scripture how God hears our cries. What peace we can have in knowing that we have a God who sees and a God who hears. He hears our cries, our laughter, our fears, and our praise. In Psalm 107, one of the key repeated phrases is “Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble; He delivered them out of their distresses.”
A closer look at this psalm reveals to us that those in Psalm 107:1–9 called out for salvation because they were lost.
They wandered in the wilderness in a desert region;
They did not find a way to an inhabited city.
They were hungry and thirsty;
Their soul fainted within them.
Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble;
He delivered them out of their distresses.
He led them also by a straight way,
To go to an inhabited city.
Psalm 107:4-7
In Psalm 107:10–22, those who call out are calling out because they have found themselves in prison, in chains, at the very gates of death because of their own rebellious ways.
There were those who dwelt in darkness
and in the shadow of death,
Prisoners in misery and chains,
Because they had rebelled against the words of God
And spurned the counsel of the Most High.
Therefore He humbled their heart with labor;
They stumbled and there was none to help.
Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble;
He saved them out of their distresses.
He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death
And broke their bands apart.
Psalm 107:10-14

In Psalm 107:23–32, those who call out are calling out because they are overwhelmed by outward circumstances beyond their control.
Those who go down to the sea in ships,
Who do business on great waters;
They have seen the works of the LORD,
And His wonders in the deep.
For He spoke and raised up a stormy wind,
Which lifted up the waves of the sea.
They rose up to the heavens, they went down to the depths;
Their soul melted away in their misery.
They reeled and staggered like a drunken man,
And were at their wits’ end.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
And He brought them out of their distresses.
He caused the storm to be still,
So that the waves of the sea were hushed.
Psalm 107:23-29
In all three cries, God delivers them. Whether they were lost sinners crying out for salvation, whether they had lived in open rebellion and spurned the counsel of God, or whether they were in a mess due to no reason of their own, God heard their cries.
God alone can open our eyes. When we cry out, He opens our eyes to the way out, the way to redemption, the way to hope. He opens our eyes to His mercy, His grace, to the light at the end of the tunnel. As God opened Hagar’s eyes to see the well of water in the wilderness, so He opens our eyes to the Living Water, His Son, Jesus Christ.
Oh Father,
That I might drink continually from Your well. That You would keep my eyes open to Your will and to Your ways. . Oh Father, how thankful I am that when I cry You hear me. How humbled I am to know that I do not have to fear in any situation, for Your loving-kindness is great. Even when I have found myself in the bottom of a pit that I dug with my own hands, when I cry out to You in true repentance, You will hear me.
Oh Father, may You be glorified in me. Help me, my Jesus, to walk in Your light, for I have died, and it is not I who live, but You who live in me.
My Jesus, it is in Your name I pray,
Amen.

>One Fine Day

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>Oh me… it’s ball season again.

Two kids on two different teams… two new different schedules to add to an already crazy calendar.

This is life.

You know there are those days that flow wonderfully and I look back on those days and I think, if I could do this that day why can’t I manage it everyday?

I should have known today would be “one fine day” when the strange dog started barking right outside our front door before daylight, which started our inside dog barking before daylight, which woke up our 7 yr old before daylight.

I put the 7 year old back to bed, let the inside dog out to run off the strange outside dog then brought the inside dog back in and locked the doors and tried to be still for my quiet time with God before… well… my “quiet time before the house wakes up” just wasn’t going to happen on this fine day.   

Monday is co-op day. Love, love it! But it also means having me and my girls dressed and ready and packed and loaded down with whatever we need for the day and out the door by hopefully 8am. This usually is not that big of an issue, but today we added basketball season to our calendar.

Of course, my girls have to go and grow on us so we needed basketball shoes… and we needed a cop costume, because my Bekah had decided she must be a cop.

So after co-op set-up, co-op classes, and co-op break-down, we head out for shoes and costumes, finishing in just enough time to get to the first ball practice that ended at 6pm, then literally run out when it’s over to get across town to another gym for the second ball practice that had started at 6pm.

Of course we get there and can’t find the team… and why not? Well because this one’s practice is tomorrow night… and now I clearly remember writing that on the calendar at home… oh well.  

Did I mention the husband left to go out of town this morning for the week as well…
Oh and yeh… it’s hell week… again, ugh… so my temperament and patience… well lots of deep breaths today.

Yep, one fine day.

I think I might have managed to get through it without scarring my children too much with all the “pick a costume already!” and the “Look we’ll leave without one, I really am not all that excited about spending money on a costume you are going to wear maybe one time anyway, it’ll suit me just fine to walk out with nadda.”    

I mean good grief have you seen these costumes??? Fish-net stocking fire women for an 8-10 yr old little girl??? Really? And the nurse? My goodness, I looked at my Shelby and said, “You can be a real fireman, but sorry not a fish-net stocking one and ummm as for the nurse, does Aunt Tracy wear that to work? Yeh, I didn’t think so.”

So we left with one cop and one dragon slaying dazzling ninja.  
Made it to one ball practice.
Made it late to the other, to find out we didn’t have it all.

Then as I am still contemplating on whether to pout about my time mismanagement skills or just be glad I am going to get home an hour and half earlier than I expected, we had a momma deer and her spotted fawn step out of the woods into the road and stop right in front of our car. I had to come to a complete stop and my girls and I just watched this doe and her fawn and we all just giggled and smiled all the rest of the way home.

Yep, one fine day 🙂

>Obedience is Evidence of Faith

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Then Abraham circumcised his son Isaac
when he was eight days old,
as God had commanded him.
Genesis 21:4
Abraham and Sarah now have their promised son. Abraham is one hundred years old, and Sarah ninety years old. God showed Himself faithful. He showed His glory, His power, and His sovereignty over life. At the appointed time, Sarah conceived and bore Isaac (Genesis 21:2).
Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven.” God had appointed the time of birth of this promised son just as He appointed the time of birth of His promised Son. “So you are to know and discern that from the issuing of a decree to restore and rebuild Jerusalem until Messiah the Prince there will be seven weeks and sixty-two weeks” (Daniel 9:25). The birth of the Christ has never been hidden. God revealed His coming in the Hebrew Bible. His appointed time had been recorded in the Scriptures for any who would hear and believe.
How long the wait must have seemed. Along the way, Abraham and Sarah had tried on their own— in their own human strength and wisdom—to bring about this promised son. Likewise, man has been trying in his own human strength and wisdom to bring about the promised seed of Genesis 3:15. Man knows that he is broken. He also knows that there is more to life than what we presently see. We just have to look through the history of mankind to see this revealed.
Religion is man’s attempt to get to God. All around the globe peoples, tribes, and nations have formed their own religions and designed their own gods, trying in their own strength and wisdom to fix their hearts and the hearts of their fellow man; trying through the worship of gods that they formed with their own hands and imaginations to get to that place of approval and peace that they feel is out there somewhere. The promise, however, would not come through any ability of man, but through the word of God.
In his life, Abraham worshiped God through his obedience to the word of God. Abraham and Sarah worshiped God in giving Him the glory for the birth of their son Isaac. Abraham was a man who practiced immediate obedience to the commands of God. He was not perfect, and he made mistakes along the way; but when God said go, he went. He did not delay in his obedience. He did not pick and choose which commands were the important ones and follow as he saw fit. He acted when the command was given, with full devotion to the best of his faith.
Our obedience is evidence of our faith. Our obedience to the Word of God is an act of worship. Let us spend today in worship, and may we give God the glory for the birth of the promised Son, Jesus Christ.
Oh Father,
Total, immediate, cheerful obedience—this is what You desire. Your commands are not given lightly, nor are they to be taken lightly. Your commands are not burdensome. They are not to be ignored, and our obedience to them is not to be delayed. You are God Almighty. You desire and require our best. Oh Father, that I might honor You with my best, my total commitment, recklessly abandoned to You alone. Oh Father, Your Word is good, and I will obey because I love You and I trust You.
My Jesus, it is in Your name I pray,
Amen

>Hurt By The Church

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>Okay we are going back to the journal, today we are visiting April 17th, 2003. I am just going to share an excerpt here because this entry was a doozy!

Father, 
I need You so much right now. I feel like I am under attack from every angle. Since I committed to Save-A-Life it seems like everyone is out for me. You know the situation with *****. I just want to say How Dare You, Do You Have A Clue What I’ve Gone Through Just To Be Here At All? but I know that is my flesh and I need to ignore it, but that doesn’t make it any easier… 
I love You Lord and I trust in You.
In Jesus Name,
Amen

Whew, in this entry I was one hurting young lady. I remember the tears that flowed as I penned this prayer to my God. As I said, this was just the beginning, a small excerpt, of the hurts that I poured out that day in the pages of my journal.

One of these great hurts was coming from someone in my church. I had just been reprimanded for being late and due to this day I quit teaching the class that I was over. I was devastated and humiliated. Of course what the one who did the reprimanding saw was just me coming in late. What they didn’t see was the fact that I was a young mother who had a baby that had not slept more than 45 minutes at a time since birth and I had a husband who worked night shift and did not attend church regularly with me at that time. I also worked outside the home part-time.

I was worn out and doing the best I could. I had a desire to serve and to teach and to be an active serving part of the church and at this moment I could have said fine see if I’ll be back ever. But that was not the call I made.

I chose grace.

I was hurt, but I chose forgiveness.

And the thing is the one who made this reprimand is to this day one of the dearest people I have ever known and I love them greatly still.

They were not evil. They were not out to get me. The enemy attempted to set up destruction, but he failed, and the love of God prevailed. I still continued in my church and continued teaching my other class.

Had I walked away from God and His church at this time in 2003… oh my the blessings I would have missed! The friendships I would have never gained, the eternal lives I would have never been a part of, the opportunities to love, laugh, cry, encourage, serve, grow… all missed if I had of chosen to hold this hurt in bitterness and throw my hands in the air and turn my back to the church.

I wish I could say this was the last hurt I ever experienced in the church, but it’s not. I’ve lost count of the times I have been on my face before God in tears over the hurt delivered to me through someone in the church, in my church, the one I am still a member in. We just don’t leave because of hurt feelings, because this is where God has planted me and my family. Feelings lie. Feelings don’t see the whole picture. They are selfish and nearsighted and prone to exaggerate and manipulate.

Jesus does not forsake me because I have hurt His feelings… so I shall not forsake Him because someone in His body hurt mine. His body is immature and in a growth process. It’s not attained perfection yet, it’s not complete yet, there is still lots of growing up to do in the church and if the parts of the body keep forsaking the body then how on earth is it ever to grow up?

And He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ; until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ. As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, by craftiness in deceitful scheming; but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.
Ephesians 4:11-16
 
If the joints and ligaments keep checking out because of a bout of arthritis the body is never going to get anywhere. We don’t forsake our earthly bodies because a part of it is hurting us and not working right so why should we forsake our spiritual body because it’s hurting us and not working right? When it’s our physical body we try to get to the bottom of the hurt and fix hit, we don’t just walk away from it.
 
I can guarantee you that if you regularly and actively attend a fellowship of believers at some point and time someone will hurt you.
It’s a family.
Families hurt each other sometimes- but the love always outweighs the hurt.
 
To share a quote about the home:
 
A true home is one of the most sacred of places. It is a sanctuary into which men flee from the world’s perils and alarms. It is a resting-place to which at close of day the weary retire to gather new strength for the battle and toils of tomorrow. It is the place where love learns its lessons, where life is schooled into discipline and strength, where character is molded. ~ J.R. Miller
 
There is a reason we say “This is my church home”
If we can’t learn to model and give grace and mercy and forgiveness and love within the church to fellow believers, how on earth do we expect to learn to give it to those who are lost and know God not?
 
Before you leave a church because you have been hurt by the church… seek God.
Ask Him to give you eyes to see past what your flesh feels.
Bring the hurt to Him.
Seek Him in His Word.
Talk to a trusted believer who will not begin a gossip ring, but will speak truth to you and keep your confidence.
Whatever you do, don’t just leave to be leaving.
 
Then Peter came and said to Him,
“Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me
 and I forgive him?
Up to seven times?” 
Jesus said to him,
“I do not say to you, up to seven times,
 but up to seventy times seven.
Matthew 18:21-22
 
Let us also not forget that we were told that there would be tares among the wheat until the day Christ comes to reap.
 
Jesus presented another parable to them, saying,
“The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a man who sowed good seed in his field. But while his men were sleeping, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went away. But when the wheat sprouted and bore grain, then the tares became evident also.  The slaves of the landowner came and said to him, ‘Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have tares?’ And he said to them, ‘An enemy has done this!’ The slaves said to him, ‘Do you want us, then, to go and gather them up?’ But he said, ‘No; for while you are gathering up the tares, you may uproot the wheat with them. Allow both to grow together until the harvest; and in the time of the harvest I will say to the reapers, “First gather up the tares and bind them in bundles to burn them up; but gather the wheat into my barn.”
Matthew 13:24:30 
 
 
 

>Sovereign Over Life

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For the Lord had closed fast
all the wombs
of the household of Abimelech
because of Sarah, Abraham’s wife.
Genesis 20:18
God had kept Abimelech from touching Sarah. In fact, God had physically made Abimelech unable to go into Sarah, and He had also closed fast all the wombs of all the women in his household. There would be no baby making until Sarah was restored to Abraham.
We have to remember the promise that was given to Abraham and Sarah two chapters ago: “At this time next year, Sarah will have a son” (Genesis 18:14). The son that Sarah was to have was to be conceived with Abraham, not Abimelech. What a mess this could have been, but God’s plans will not be thwarted. God’s will shall be done. He has the power and authority to assure it, and He uses it in this situation. 
God is the one who opens the womb, and He is the one who closes it. He is the one who gives man his strength, and He is also the one who removes it. He is sovereign and in control of all things. Oh Church, do you understand this? Let this truth run its course through your mind, through your heart, through your soul.
Rebekah, Rachel, Sarah, and Hannah did not run to man to conceive a child. They ran to God. Before you put yourself in the hands of man and his ways, I beseech you, run to your God. Trust in Him. Seek His will. Time after time I have seen faithful women and men of God draw their line at further treatment. I have seen them trust in God and even abandon themselves in peace that it may not be meant for them to conceive, and then I have known God to open their wombs and have held their children in my arms.
I have also witnessed God open up the door of adoption and have seen the pure joy of a mother and father as they held this precious gift in their arms with the same love as if this child had come from their own bodies. Our God is good.
Oh Father,
You are looking out for us. We are the sheep, and You are the Good Shepherd. Sheep wander and make mistakes out of fear and ignorance, yet their shepherd intervenes and sees them safely to pasture. Thank you, God, for being my Shepherd. Thank you for the peace I have in You; the peace that comes in knowing that You are sovereign. Oh Father, that I would always trust in that sovereignty in every area and aspect of my life.
My Jesus it is in Your name I pray,
Amen.