Becoming a Woman of Encouragement and Influence (part 4)

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Encourage the exhausted,

and strengthen the feeble.

Isaiah 35:3

In Becoming a Woman of Encouragement and Influence (part 3) we looked at who, when, why, and how we are to encourage. Today we will do the same for strengthen.

  • How do we strengthen?
  • When do we strengthen?
  • Who do we strengthen?
  • Why do we strengthen?

The first time the word strengthen is used in the NASB is in Deuteronomy 3:28

But charge Joshua and encourage him and strengthen him, for he shall go across at the head of this people, and he will give them as an inheritance the land which you will see.

The word strengthen in the Hebrew is amets and it means

  • confirm, be courageous of good courage, steadfastly minded, strong, stronger, establish, fortify, harden,
  • to be alert, physically (on foot) or mentally (in courage)

As I was continuing my word search study on this word “amets” I read this verse in the book of Nahum…

The one who scatters has come up against you. Man the fortress, watch the road; strengthen your back, summon all your strength.

Nahum 2:1

Something hit me when me I read this verse. What I saw was that we are to encourage from the front, but we are to strengthen from the back.

Just think of when we are teaching a child to walk. We grab hold of the hands of the child and walk behind them as they tightly grip our fingers. We support them as they learn to put one foot in front of the other, but once we know they can do it, we move to the front and call out to them to come to us as we encourage and cheer them on with every step. If they falter, if they hesitate, if they began to doubt, we are right there to snatch and seize and get them steady and moving again.

Encourage from the front and strengthen from the back, because when you know that you know that someone has your back… that in itself strengthens.

Behind Her

Strengthen from Behind

From that day on, half of my servants carried on the work while half of them held the spears, the shields, the bows and the breastplates; and the captains were behind the whole house of Judah.

Nehemiah 4:16

When we go back to the book of Nehemiah and the Scriptures that we poured over in part 2 of this series, let us remember the discouragement of the people. They could not move forward because they had no one strengthening them from behind and no one encouraging them from the front. They were stuck in the rut of their rubbish. The only words they could hear were the mockings of the nations around them. The people were paralyzed by their circumstances. They couldn’t even look up to remember their God. They were demoralized. They were caught in the trap of their false reality.

They needed someone to step into their false reality and wake them up and strengthen them. Nehemiah was that someone. Nehemiah could be that someone. Nehemiah could face whatever was in front of him, because he knew someone had his back. When Nehemiah first heard of what was going on in Jerusalem he too was discouraged and downcast, but when King Artaxerxes told Nehemiah to go and let him know that he had his full support. Nehemiah was able to walk into Jerusalem ready to encourage and strengthen others.

And now here in Jerusalem, once the people knew that someone had their back, once they knew that the captains were behind the whole house of Judah, the people got refocused, recharged, and were ready to work.

Ladies, who needs to know that you have their back? Does your husband need to know that you have his back? Do your children need to know that you have their back? What about in the ministry? What about at work? What about school?

If you are leader in a position of authority, do those serving under you know that you have their back?

Do you need to know that someone has your back?

Perhaps you are sitting here reading this and you feel stranded and alone. Perhaps it appears that no one who has your back. Oh precious one, never forget that God has you back!

You have enclosed me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me.

Psalm 139:5

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At my first defense no one supported me, but all deserted me; may it not be counted against them. But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that through me the proclamation might be fully accomplished, and that all the Gentiles might hear; and I was rescued out of the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed, and will bring me safely to His heavenly kingdom; to Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.

2 Timothy 4:16-18

The Greek word used for strengthened in 2 Timothy 4:17 is endunamoó and it means properly, to impart ability (make able); empowered, fill with power, strengthen, make strong.

When no one else is there, God is. If you know, that you know, that you know, that God has called you to the task, He is sufficient to empower you, to support you, to strengthen you. He is enough.

This word for strengthen is only used seven times in the New Testament. This strength can only come from God. Endunamoó is used in Act 9:22, Romans 4:20, Ephesians 6:10, Philippians 4:13, 1 Timothy 1:12, 2 Timothy 2:1, and the above verse 2 Timothy 4:17. Do you need strengthened beloved, take these verses and write them down, learn them, and cry out to the Lord with them.

Now let’s get back to woman to woman, to woman to husband, to woman to child, to woman to anyone you see that needs strengthened.

The first time the word strengthen is used in the New Testament in the NASB is in Luke 22:32. This word in the Greek is stérizó and this is the word for strengthen that relates to us strengthening one another. This is the word that relates to us pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps.

It’s definition:

(from stēringks, “a support that fixes, plants down”; akin to hístēmi, “to stand,” having a duplication of the primitive Gk root/sta, “to make stand”)

  • properly, set fast (fix); give support to secure (firmly establish); solidly plant (which eliminates vacillation).
  • I fix firmly, direct myself towards, generally met: I buttress, prop, support; I strengthen, establish.

The first time this Greek word is used in the New Testament is in Luke 9:51, where it is translated as determined. In Luke 9:51 we see that even Jesus had to set His face toward what God called Him to do. This is where we have to step in faith in what we know. This is our responsibility, either within ourselves or to offer to others.

As we look at the context of the use of this word strengthen, in Luke 22:32 we learn we are to:

Strengthen from Failures

but I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.

Luke 22:32

Peter is about to epically fail. He is about to deny Christ. He is about to turn his back on the one he just swore to defend to his own death. Jesus, in full knowledge of this failure, says “when once you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”

In other words beloved, whether you are the one who failed or you see someone who has failed, God is not through with you or them. It doesn’t matter the failure, God can use it. God can also use you to strengthen others. Not even our worst mistakes, our most grotesque sin, our deepest pit is wasted by our Redeemer. He can and will redeem anything and anyone.

The last time this word for strengthen is used is in the book of Revelation

I know your deeds, that you have a name that you are alive, but you are dead. Wake up, and strengthen the things that remain, which were about to die; for I have not found your deeds completed in the sight of My God

Revelation 2:3

Beloved, where ever you are, what ever you have, if you have breathe in your body, God is not through with you. When you see that someone else, where ever they are, whatever they have done, if they have breathe in their body, God is not through with them yet. Strengthen what remains.

I don’t care how far you have strayed. I don’t care how far they have strayed. I don’t care what you have done. As long as there is light, there is life. Wake up. Rise from the dead. For you have been created and called for a purpose that is bigger than you.

Set your face. Direct yourself to the face of Christ. Put one foot in front of the other and never forget that if no one else is there to strengthen you from behind… God is.

Lastly we need to know that we are to

Strengthen from Patience

Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. The farmer waits for the precious produce of the soil, being patient about it, until it gets the early and late rains. You too be patient; strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is near. Do not complain, brethren, against one another, so that you yourselves may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing right at the door.

James 5:7-9

Be patient beloved. Be patient with yourself, and be patient with others. Stop griping and complaining because someone isn’t “getting it” or you are not “getting it”. I know the frustration that comes when you can clearly see the choices someone needs to make, but they don’t. I know the irritation and even fear that can come when you see someone you care about repeatedly turning down the wrong path even when you know that they know the narrow way. Be patient… and pray.

Someone may not be getting some where as quickly as you want them to, or even in the way that you think they should, but that doesn’t mean that God is not at work. Strengthen from patience. Love is patient (1 Corinthians 13:4).

So…

How do we strengthen?

  • We strengthen with patience.

When do we strengthen?

  • We strengthen anytime we see someone who needs it.

Who do we strengthen?

  • We strengthen those who have failed, those who are failing, those who have fallen, those who are getting back up.

Why do we strengthen?

  • We strengthen because we are at war.

In war there are wounds. There are times of victory and their are times of defeat. We all grow weary. We all need an Aaron and Hur to hold up our arms. We all need to know that someone has our back. The battle wages on beloved, but the God of angel armies is by our side. He goes before and behind. He is the One who strengthens and encourages. If we are to be imitators of Him, then we too are to be women who encourage and strengthen.

 

Becoming a Woman of Encouragement and Influence (wrapping it up)

Becoming a Woman of Encouragement and Influence (part 3)

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In Becoming a Woman of Encouragement and Influence (part 2) our last words were:

“These women were not to fight against each other, but for each other. They needed a hand stretched out to pull them up not push them further down. They didn’t need anyone to pick sides. They needed someone to bridge the gap. Beloved of God, we whose names are recorded in the book of life have been called to stand in the gap. We have been called to help.”

Helping-others

I searched for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land…

Ezekiel 22:30

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The Lord is for me among those who help me…

Psalm 118:7

Now the question is… how do we help?

When I think of where so many of us are… in that place of feeling overwhelmed, in that place of just flat out exhaustion, in that place of discouragement with our knees buckling right there on that brink of despair… my mind goes to a perfect little verse that is safely tucked away in the book of Isaiah.

Encourage the exhausted,

and strengthen the feeble.

Isaiah 35:3 (NASB)

So, the question again, how do we help?

We encourage and we strengthen. Now we must ask:

  • How do we encourage?
  • When do we encourage?
  • Who do we encourage?

because wrong encouragement can be just as deadly as no encouragement at all. I think of Brittany Maynard when I say that, and the countless and faceless others who will now be “encouraged” by her choice.

As I attempted to dig a little deeper in this verse I began where I always begin, with a word search and digging into the Hebrew translation while keeping the scripture within context. I love word studies and cross-referencing the Word of God. Letting God tell us what He said, by what He said, is the best way to interpret His book.

The first time the word encourage is used in the NASB is in Deuteronomy 1:38

Joshua the son of Nun, who stands before you, he shall enter there; encourage him, for he will cause Israel to inherit it.

The Hebrew translation of the word encourage is

chazaq and it means

  • be or grow firm or strong, strengthen, aid, amend, catch, cleave, confirm, be constant, constrain
  • to fasten upon; hence, to seize, be strong
  • figuratively, courageous, causatively strengthen, cure, help, repair, fortify

The first time this word for encourage is used in Scripture is in Genesis 19:16

But he hesitated. So the men seized his hand and the hand of his wife and the hands of his two daughters, for the compassion of the Lord was upon him; and they brought him out, and put him outside the city.

As I read this passage of Scripture in Genesis my mind went to the book of Jude…

And have mercy on some, who are doubting; save others, snatching them out of the fire; and on some have mercy with fear, hating even the garment polluted by the flesh.

Jude 1:22-23

…and I wondered if maybe the word used for snatching also meant to seize… I literally clapped with excitement in the middle of my living room floor when I discovered that it indeed did!

The Greek word used for snatching in this verse is harpazo and it means

catch, seize, take by force

I find this to be absolutely wonderful! Stay with me, and hopefully I will be able to explain why 🙂

Now after I learned this connection with Lot and Jude, I wondered when was the first time the word encourage was used in the New Testament. When I went to my word search, I discovered that according to the NASB the first time the word encourage is used is in Acts 11:23. The next thing I needed to do was find out what Greek word was used…

The Greek word used for encourage in Acts 11:23 is parakaleo and it means

to call to one’s side, call for, summon to address, speak to, (call to, call upon), which may be done in the way of exhortation, entreaty, comfort, instruction, etc. to admonish, exhort to beg, entreat, beseech to strive to appease by entreaty to console, to encourage and strengthen by consolation, to comfort to receive consolation, be comforted to encourage, strengthen exhorting and comforting and encouraging, to instruct, teach

My next move was to do a word search on this Greek word and I discovered the first time it was used was in Matthew 2:18. It was also used in Matthew 5:4, Luke 15:28, Jude 1:3, and many more. Now as I put this word search, this Hebrew and Greek defining, and cross-referencing all together I prayed and asked God to help me answer the how, why, when, and who’s of encouragement. This is what He taught me.

My dear sisters in Christ we are to:

Encourage with conviction:

  • Then when he arrived and witnessed the grace of God, he rejoiced and began to encourage them all with resolute heart to remain true to the Lord; (Act 11:23)

The Greek word Parakaléō (“personally make a call”) refers to believers offering up evidence that stands up in God’s court. When we encourage we are not offering up empty meaningless words. We are to encourage with truth and fact and conviction. We are not to encourage when we don’t mean it, when we don’t believe it, when we have nothing to back it up or stand on.

I think of these poor people that try out for singing and talent shows and over in the wings are their parents and friends who have convinced them that they can sing and encouraged them to try out, and they are less than musically inclined and are humiliated before the world. That’s not encouragement. Real encouragement comes with proof in the pudding. Real encouragement repairs, it doesn’t destroy.

Let’s take a moment to go back to the Hebrew word chazaq, and what we know about the context of it’s use. In Genesis 19 God has sent word by angels that Lot needs to exit the city, but he hesitates. Now did the angels just stand there and say, “ahhhh come on Lot, you really should come?” No, they didn’t. They seized him by the hand. They encouraged with conviction. Look back at Jude 1:22-23, sisters we are to snatch. Sometimes encouragement is taking the bull by the horns and saying get up and come on!

You’ve got the teenager that all of a sudden doesn’t want to come to church anymore? Oh Momma, it’s time to seize and snatch. You’ve got that friend that is fighting depression and doesn’t want to leave the house? It’s time to seize and snatch. Oh sister, but notice that it was the COMPASSION and MERCY of God that seized and snatched. We are not to look at those that we know God has placed in our path and give a little kind word, and shrug our shoulders, and say, oh well I tried.

You have not tried anything until you have seized and snatched.

SEIZE AND SNATCH! If you believe in the wrath of God and the eternal damnation of hell, and the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ, for the glory of God, encourage with conviction and do so with compassion and mercy.

Encourage to comfort:

The world is hurting. People are hurting. Our encouragement should bring comfort. When we find someone who is weighed down with the things of this life, we are to do what we can to comfort them… even when they appear to refuse it.

  • “A VOICE WAS HEARD IN RAMAH, WEEPING AND GREAT MOURNING, RACHEL WEEPING FOR HER CHILDREN; AND SHE REFUSED TO BE COMFORTED, BECAUSE THEY WERE NO MORE.” (Matthew 2:18)
  • Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. (Matthew 5:4)

We never know when what we have said or what we have done will sink in. Our words and our actions towards others should always be with grace (Colossians 4:6). We serve a God who gives perseverance and encouragement and His Word is meant to bring hope (Romans 15:4) and hope doesn’t disappoint. If it doesn’t disappoint then it doesn’t discourage and it doesn’t hurt. It instead comforts.

Encourage with passion:

  • Beloved, while I was making every effort to write you about our common salvation, I felt the necessity to write to you appealing that you contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all handed down to the saints. (Jude 1:3)
  • But he became angry and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him. (Luke 15:28)

I love this. Women of God we must encourage with passion. Look at these two verses. Here are two men who are making every effort, who are appealing, who are pleading, who are encouraging with passion. They are not concerned with whether or not they are loosing their dignity or their position of authority. They just want to see these before them encouraged so that they can continue to honor their God and walk out what God has called them to do and be.

Beloved, when was the last time you were willing to beg someone to Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20)? When have you wanted to see someone come out of their discouragement, their exhaustion, their false sense of reality, that you were willing to plead with them? When was the last time you were willing to make a fool of yourself in order to bring hope to another.

Sometimes, we just need somebody to take us by the hands and look us in our eyes and speak to our souls. The world is screaming lies into our hearts. We need more people who will speak the truth, and speak it in love (1 Corinthians 13:1). The roar of that woman of folly is loud and wisdom does not use a noisy gong or clanging cymbal that just deafens us even more.

Wisdom speaks up close and personal with a strong still small voice that calls to the deep within us to rise up and know hope, to be encouraged. To encourage with passion is not to scream in ears. No, to encourage with passion is to speak intently and intensely into a soul.

Encourage in person:

Lastly, and probably most importantly… we are to encourage in person. When we look at the Greek word for encourage we see that it comes

  • (from pará, “from close-beside” and kaléō, “to call”) – properly, “make a call” from being “close-up and personal.”

which means

  • I send for, summon, invite, I beseech, entreat, beg, I exhort, admonish, I comfort, encourage, console.

Did you get that?

Go back and look through all these cross-references on the word for encouragement. Whether its use be in the Old Testament or the New… they all involved someone up close and personal.

I encourage

Not I added them to the prayer list. Not I sent word to the pastor or the women’s director.

No.

I saw the need and I did something.

I was up close and personal. I was there to grab hold of their hands and drag them along because they hesitated, because they were blinded due to the fact that they were so close to the pits of hell that even their garments reeked of it. I was close enough to look them in the eyes and speak to their heart.

In Acts 4:36 we meet a man named Joseph, a man who was a Levite by birth, and yet the apostles named him Barnabas, which means Son of Encouragement. In Acts 9:27 we learn that it was Barnabas that took hold of Paul. He took hold of him. Barnabas did not cheer from the sidelines.

Encouragement isn’t simply cheerleading from the stands. No encouragement is when you pull someone up along side you. It’s not just when you get up in front of someone, but you get down in the trenches with them. It’s pulling them with you if need be… encouraging them all the way to the finish line.

 

 

So who do we encourage?

  • We encourage the hesitating
  • We encourage the doubting
  • We encourage the hurting
  • We encourage the pouting
  • We encourage the stubborn
  • We encourage the weary.

And why do we encourage?

Because our God is a God of encouragement and we ALL need encouraged. We encourage to repair and to fortify. Our encouragement should always repair not destroy.

And when do we encourage?

At all times.

And how do we encourage?

We encourage with conviction, to comfort, with passion, and in person.

Next time we will look at the next part of that beautiful verse in Isaiah… we look at how, when, where, who we strengthen.

Becoming a Woman of Encouragement and Influence (part 4)

Let Me Be Your Queen Bee

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Last week in my chapel time with my preschoolers we looked at Deborah. I have been taking our preschoolers through Hebrews 11 and teaching them about each of the heroes of the faith that God has listed for us in that chapter. As I taught through the list we came to Barak… and even though Deborah is not listed in Hebrews, you simply can’t share about Barak without sharing about Deborah, the woman that God had judging Israel, and the woman that God used to call out Barak.

As I was digging into the life of Deborah we learned that her name means “bee”. I learned that, and I thought, how fitting! So of course this led me into a little bit of research about bees… particularly the queen bee.


Sorry, I couldn’t help it 😉

Okay back to Scripture and real queen bees.

As I was doing a little internet research I read that the queen bee is “the heart and soul of the honey bee colony. She is the reason for nearly everything the rest of the colony does. The queen is the only bee without which the rest of the colony cannot survive. A good quality queen means a strong and productive hive.

Deborah was like that queen bee in a hive as she strongly served God. I believe she also is a pretty good picture of our own little hives. The heart and soul of the home is so often determined by the wife and mother… and a good quality wife and mother means a strong and productive home.

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones.

Proverbs 12:4

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House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the Lord.

Proverbs 19:14

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An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.

Proverbs 31:10

 

Another interesting thought on the queen bee is that, “although the name might imply it, a queen bee does not directly control the hive. Her sole function is to serve as the reproducer” Deborah was so great because she was not trying to control, she was instead allowing herself to be controlled by her God. She was a woman who was submitted to the will of God and stood confident in who He had created her to be. She had been called and she rose to the occasion and encouraged others to rise to theirs.

Oh what a difference it makes when we women are willing to submit our lives to the sovereign hand of our Savior!

As I shared with the kids about Deborah and Barak, I shared that they were super heroes to God because they were doing what God created them and called them to do. As we were still connecting Deborah with a queen bee, I showed the kids a little snippet of “The Bee Movie” and they saw what happens when we don’t do what God created us to do.

When the bees decided that they were done making honey and there was no queen bee to judge them, or leader to lead them, they all laid down and did nothing. When they did nothing, everything began to die… death reigns when those who have the ability to give and share life do nothing.

God created us to bring Him glory. When we choose to do what God created us to do then we bring glory to God and He uses us to bring life to the world.

Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

Ephesians 5:15-17

I find it so very sad that we live in a world that is trying to convince us that being that queen bee in our hive is belittling to our womanhood. There is no greater responsibility and privilege in life than to be a woman who is willing to be the heart and soul of her home. A woman who is willing to validate her husband and unconditionally love and encourage her children. A woman who is willing to lay down her own life to give life to others.

Becoming a Woman of Encouragement and Influence (part 2)

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In Becoming a Woman of Encouragement and Influence (part 1) we took a look into Proverbs 9 and dug into the characteristics and homes of two different women, one called wisdom and the other folly… We talked a little about how this woman folly is boisterous. How this woman folly desires to keep our souls in a state of discouragement… and because she is who she is… I am so very thankful for the woman of wisdom.

We live in a world of folly. We live in a world that is telling us we will never be enough. We will never be pretty enough. We will never have enough. We will never be smart enough. And if you are a wife and/or a mother, you live in a world where nothing is ever just done. The laundry is never done. The dishes are never done. The house is never clean… As soon as we think we have accomplished a task it seems like we turn around and there it is again. I am sure, if your life is like mine, you can say as the people in Judah said,

Thus in Judah it was said,

“The strength of the burden bearers is failing,


Yet there is much rubbish;


And we ourselves are unable


To rebuild the wall.”

Nehemiah 4:10

We can easily find ourselves not being able to see past the rubbish, not being able to see past our current circumstances. We can easily find ourselves overwhelmed, flat out exhausted, and discouraged.

discouraged

That is why it is vital that we become women of encouragement and influence. When we read on in Nehemiah 4 we learn something pretty special. We learn what God showed Nehemiah to do for the people of Judah,

and I stationed the people in families with their swords, spears and bows. When I saw their fear, I rose and spoke to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people: “Do not be afraid of them; remember the Lord who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives and your houses.”

Nehemiah 4:13-14

Nehemiah stationed the people in families and pointed them back to their God. The people needed to take their eyes off the rubbish, off their current circumstances and put them back on their great and awesome Lord. They needed to remember that they had no reason to fear because their God was with them. Instead of sinking in fear and discouragement, they needed to stand in faith, and defend their family, and fight for them and their houses.

Did you notice what the first thing was that Nehemiah did?

He stationed them by families.

Precious ones, God desires to station us by families. I believe that is why He gave us the church. A local church is built up of families. Families that are supposed to be watching each others backs. Families that are fighting for each other not against each other.

In the book of Philippians we meet a couple of ladies who were having a problem getting along…

I urge Euodia and I urge Syntyche to live in harmony in the Lord. Indeed, true companion, I ask you also to help these women who have shared my struggle in the cause of the gospel, together with Clement also and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life.

Philippians 4:2-3

These two ladies were believers. They were faithful believers. They had struggled with Paul in the cause of the gospel. They loved God, they loved His Son, and they loved His church… but for some reason they were having a hard time loving one another. Paul’s charge to the church was to help these women.

Helping-others

These women were not to fight against each other… but for each other. They needed a hand stretched out to pull them up… not push them further down. They didn’t need anyone to pick sides. They needed someone to bridge the gap. Beloved of God, we whose names are recorded in the book of life have been called to stand in the gap… we have been called to help.

I searched for a man among them who would build up the wall and stand in the gap before Me for the land…

Ezekiel 22:30

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The Lord is for me among those who help me…

Psalm 118:7

Now the question is… how do we help?

We will dig into that next time.

 Becoming a Woman of Encouragement and Influence (part 3)

Becoming a Woman of Encouragement and Influence (part 1)

A few weeks ago I shared a message at a ladies event. The message was Becoming a Woman of Encouragement and Influence. Verbally I managed to share it within the forty-five minute time slot, but writing it, now that would exceed even my normal word count. Therefore, we’ll look at it in parts. We begin with Proverbs 9

In Proverbs 9 we meet two women that represent two different houses, two different paths. As we read through Proverbs 9 I believe it is divided into three sections. The first section, Proverbs 9:1-6 introduces us to one woman, one house, and one path. The third section, Proverbs 9:13-18 introduces us to another woman, another house, and another path. The second section, Proverbs 9:7-12, I believe represents the fork in the road between the two, and how we receive Proverbs 9:7-12 determines the path we will walk, the house we will enter, and the woman to whom we will listen.

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Let’s meet the first woman… her name is Wisdom.

Wisdom has built her house,
She has hewn out her seven pillars;
She has prepared her food, she has mixed her wine;
She has also set her table;
She has sent out her maidens, she calls
From the tops of the heights of the city:
“Whoever is naive, let him turn in here!”
To him who lacks understanding she says,
“Come, eat of my food
And drink of the wine I have mixed.
“Forsake your folly and live,
And proceed in the way of understanding.”

Proverbs 9:1-6

What I want you to see is that this woman wisdom has her stuff together. Notice that she has built her house. Notice that she has hewn out her seven pillars. Think with me for a moment… what is the purpose of pillars?

pillars-of-the-lincoln-memorial-kenneth-garrett

Pillars provide stability and strength. If we look at the ruins of ancient societies, even if the house has fallen, the pillars remain. This woman wisdom has built a strong, stable home.

Let’s keep looking.

Notice the work of this woman wisdom, she has prepared her food, she has mixed her wine, she has set her table, she has sent out her maidens. She calls out. This woman is able. This woman is strong. This woman is prepared. This woman is saying, Hey whatever you need, come and see me. Bring your tired, weary, hungry, thirsty self in here to my house and let me help you. I have everything that you need and I have the ability to teach you to have this for yourself. See here are my maidens, I provided for them, and they were fully equipped to be sent out, and to find you… I will fully equip you so that you might go and do likewise… become a maiden of mine and become a woman of wisdom. Let me teach you. Listen to me. 

*******

Now let’s take a look see at our other woman… her name is Folly.

The woman of folly is boisterous,
She is naive and knows nothing.
She sits at the doorway of her house,
On a seat by the high places of the city,
Calling to those who pass by,
Who are making their paths straight:
“Whoever is naive, let him turn in here,”
And to him who lacks understanding she says,
“Stolen water is sweet;
And bread eaten in secret is pleasant.”
But he does not know that the dead are there,
That her guests are in the depths of Sheol.

Proverbs 9:13-18

The first thing we learn about this woman of folly is that she is boisterous. Now this word boisterous in the original language is pretty darn interesting. In the Hebrew this word is hamah and it means,

  • To murmur, growl, roar
  • To murmur a soul into discouragement
  • To growl like a dog
  • To roar as in to keep a city in an uproar

This woman folly is not there to encourage or strengthen anyone. As a matter of fact she is what I like to call a pot-stirrer. She is here to murmur and growl and roar and to keep everyone around her in turmoil. She has no desire to calm a soul, to encourage a soul, to strengthen a soul… no… she simply desires to murmur that soul into discouragement. She has no desire to share peace and hope and stability. No, she wants us off-guard, off kilter, confused, confounded, bewildered, stressed out beyond the ability to reason for ourselves.

(Hmmm…. does this sound anything like our current media and/or political strategies)

Notice what we learn next. This woman is naive and knows nothing. Notice that this woman sits. She sits at her doorway on a seat by the high places of the city. She sits and is calling out to those who are passing by… she sits. She is NOT building her house. She is NOT hewing out pillars. She is NOT preparing food, mixing wine, or setting a table. She has NO maidens to send out. She doesn’t even get up to go and seek… she sits like a spider waiting for those who pass her by so that she can catch them in her web of destruction.

Here is the kicker. Let’s look side by side what these two woman call out…

Slide02

Both of these woman call out the same words.

“Whoever is naive, let him turn in here,”
And to him who lacks understanding she says,

Proverbs 9:4,16

Yet the heart, and the purpose, behind the words are completely opposite. The woman wisdom calls out to the naive and to those who lack understanding to come into her house so that she might provide them with what she herself has prepared. She calls out to them to strengthen and encourage and feed and equip so that she might give them the tools to become someone of wisdom and stability themselves in order to seek and help others. The woman wisdom seeks those who need her. She sends out for those who are naive and lack understanding so that she might teach them and give them wisdom.

On the other hand, this woman folly, she has nothing to give. She is looking for the naive and those who lack understanding so that she can bring them into her house and take from them whatever they have for herself. She seeks the naive so that she might devour them in their naiveté.

She is an Ursala…

 

The woman wisdom cries out for us to forsake folly and live… she wants to give us life.

The woman folly, has stolen all she has, and has nothing to offer us but death.

The question we have to ask ourselves… if they are calling out the same words… both offering food and drink… how are we to know who is Folly and who is Wisdom?

*******

Here is where Proverbs 9:7-12 comes in. The fork in the road.

He who corrects a scoffer gets dishonor for himself,
And he who reproves a wicked man gets insults for himself.
Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you,
Reprove a wise man and he will love you.
Give instruction to a wise man and he will be still wiser,
Teach a righteous man and he will increase his learning.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
For by me your days will be multiplied,
And years of life will be added to you.
If you are wise, you are wise for yourself,
And if you scoff, you alone will bear it.

Precious one, are you willing to take rebuke?

Are you willing to hear that you are wrong?

Are you willing to receive correction?

Are you willing to submit your will to the Word of God?

This and this alone will determine whose doorway we willingly turn into… this alone will determine what path we will take… this alone will determine whether we ourselves become a woman of wisdom or a woman of folly. Beloved, let us turn to wisdom.

 Becoming a Woman of Encouragement and Influence (part 2)

What Is Living?

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 according to my earnest expectation and hope, that I will not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ will even now, as always, be exalted in my body,whether by life or by death.

Philippians 1:20

I keep waiting for the headline that reads in bold… SHE CHANGED HER MIND!

However, now I fear that all the hype of the event might lead her to follow through… despite her small smidgen of doubt that I know is there.

What is living?

As I type this my wrists and my forearms are swollen and bulging with inflammation and the blood veins in my hands and arms feel as if they are drawing up inside of me as they seem to grow before my eyes and I watch knots build up in my hands and up my arms and into my shoulders and neck and both my legs have gone to sleep and yet ache at the same time while my veins crawl inside the calves of my legs and stinging electric like shock shoots into my hips… and for this there is no cure.

At least once every week my youngest daughter asks me if my hands are going to turn in like the pictures she sees at the doctor and all I can say is I don’t know

Yet at the same time, my Dad is fighting lung cancer… my sister-in-law is fighting liver cancer… and my father-in-law is fighting bladder cancer… and my dear friend is fighting ovarian cancer… and I have a hard time complaining about my non-life threatening quirky aches and pains.

Just tonight we went to visit with my in-laws. My father-in-law got up to go to bed and my youngest ran into the hall to hug him. She turned around with the biggest smile and said, “I got a stand up hug!” It has been seven months since she got a stand up hug from her Papaw… and she knew it.

A year ago this month, one of my childhood friends received her healing in eternity. Melanoma took her into the presence of the Lord. When my friend’s Pastor asked her how she wanted him to pray, she said “Pray that God will allow me to live every day that I am supposed to…” 

I watched my friend grow worse with each visit. I also watched her son crawl up in his mother’s lap and pat the the side of her face that held a growing tumor and smile as he said something about it to his mother and saw her smile at him the best that she could. Would it have been less physically painful for her, less emotionally stressful for the family had she chosen to die before the treatments took her hair and the tumors grew outside of her jaw? Perhaps. But had she done that… she would have missed so many hugs… so many smiles… so many prayers.

Her family would have missed that many more laughs… In one of my visits with her she was making jokes about her mother trying to force miralax down in her so her bowels would move and she just flat out was not going to drink anymore of the nasty stuff. She was with us, all of us until the end. The depth of who she was never left her, cancer couldn’t destroy the intrinsic value of the beautiful uniquely wonderfully and fearfully made soul that God created.

My sister-in-law was first diagnosed with breast cancer. She beat it. Then she was diagnosed with colon cancer. She beat it… to return for a routine follow up scan to discover that she now had liver cancer. That was thirty-five months ago. She could give up. She could. But instead she has chosen to believe that each day that she is given by God is a gift. Each day brings a possibility that a cure could be found. Each day brings the possibility that the next scan shows that the cancer is gone. Each day brings the possibility that someone will make her smile. Each day brings the possibility that God will use her to make someone else smile. Each day is another day that she makes a memory. Each day is a day that she has to glorify her God.

My Daddy fights. I am so glad that he fights. This past weekend we went to the mountains. My girls got to have their picture made with their Papaw Wayne at the same tree that I had my picture made with him many times. They got to hug him. They got to laugh with him. They got to make memories. The last PET scan revealed the cancer was gone in his lower back and was dying every else in his body. What if when my Daddy got the prognosis that the cancer had spread from his collar bone to his tailbone he decided to say it’s everywhere and there’s no hope? THERE IS ALWAYS HOPE!

For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

Romans 15:4

What is living?

Is living supposed to be pain and trouble free or it’s not worth it? Is living only living if we don’t have to depend on the help and strength of others? Is living only living if we look young and beautiful and have all of our faculties about us?

This is what I don’t understand… the “supporting” family. I am jealous for every single moment of time that God will give me. I am jealous for every hug, for every smile, for every offhanded remark, for every possibility of a sunrise. I am holding on to the hope that a cure is around the corner, that Christ is on the brink of return, that the doctors, SHOCKING I KNOW, might, just might, be wrong. They are not God after all.

There are times that I sit and curl up next to my husband… he doesn’t have to say a word or do a thing… I just want to feel the warmth of his body next to mine and lay my head against the rise and fall of his chest as he breathes and weave my fingers in between his… because his very presence is important to me. There is no way, I tell you NO WAY, that I would look at him, still appearingly in pretty good health regardless of what disease lay ready to destroy him within and say, Yes baby, just go ahead and go on now. I don’t need any of those weak feeble smiles and I sure have no desire to actually fulfill that “in sickness” part of those vows. I mean really, we’ll be fine. See you on the other side one day. 

NO!

There is no way. I would be on my knees begging him to reconsider. BEGGING HIM for one more day, just one more hug, just one more kiss, just one more time to lay down beside him and feel the warmth of his body against mine.

If this was my child… it’s unimaginable. There is no way I could set a date for her death. Why not simply say, let’s just deal with today… let’s not worry about tomorrow. Today let’s live. And tomorrow, if we awake, it is now a new today, and today we will live and we will love. Today.

 But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death works in us, but life in you.

2 Corinthians 4:7-12

Small Studies on Prayer

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On two separate occasions I had the opportunity to share on the subject of prayer. Here are the PDF copies that I handed out to those that were at each event.

Pray In This Way

You can find the posts that developed as I processed through this study beginning here: God Forbid It

Praying for Our Children

You can find the posts that go deeper into the message that the Lord laid on my heart to share beginning here: Praying for Our Children

Do You See Someone Falling?

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You pushed me violently so that I was falling,
But the Lord helped me.
The Lord is my strength and song,
And He has become my salvation.

Psalm 118:13-14

I don’t know about you, but I have been in seasons when the world has pushed me violently… I have been in a place, more than once, that I found myself falling because the circumstances of life were doing all they could do to push me down.

But… the Lord helped me.

That’s one thing that the circumstances of life do not consider when they push you violently so that you are falling… the Lord can even be found face down on the ground in the pit of rock bottom.

From my distress I called upon the Lord;
The Lord answered me and set me in a large place.

Psalm 118:5

Tonight I will be sharing at a women’s event. The message that the Lord has given me is one of encouragement. Sadly, we seem to have come to a place in our day, where those who are called by the name of Christ get more fired up about condemning than encouraging.

The posts that go viral are the ones with the mom’s degrading the preteen girl who is posting less than modest selfies on social media… or the one’s that use sarcasm to prove a point (and I am pretty sure if I looked through my own blog, I would find myself having written those sarcasmy posts as well)

Let me tell you what I see when I see a preteen or even teen girl posting immodest pics… I see a young girl who has never had a father who hugged her tight and told her that she was beautiful… inside and out. I see a girl who is starving for someone to tell her she has worth and value and that she is absolutely stunning.

There is a reason that even a grown woman when she gets ready asks, how does this look? She doesn’t want to know if it matches… she just wants to know if you, the one she has asked, thinks that she looks beautiful. I don’t know if men understand the level of vulnerability that is there when a woman asks that simple question, that has become a punchline in so many comedic circles.

This past Thursday, my husband and I, along with our middle daughter attended his company crew party where we had the honor to hear John Croyle share about a ministry that he and his wife started many years ago, Big Oak Ranch. As he shared he made a huge point… well he made many huge points, I could have listened to him for hours longer (and in case you want to know more about him and this ministry I have added it to my blog as a highly recommended ministry to support).

One of the points was that that there are two things every girl and every boy wants to know.

Every girl wants to know 1) that she is loved, no matter how bad she screws up, she wants to know if she is still her Daddy’s little girl, 2) and she wants to know that she is pretty, does someone think she is beautiful?

Every boy wants to know 1) am I loved, and 2) do I measure up? John shared that there is a reason that little boys want to wrestle with there Daddy all. the. time. There is a reason they ask how am I doing. There is a reason they say, hey watch this.

We live in a world today that tries to convince us that we will never measure up. We live in a world today that tries to convince us that we will never be pretty enough. We live in a world that is doing all it can to strip us of our identity and value… a world that is pushing us violently so that we are falling.

And to often those who are called by the name of Christ are right there to make the final push instead of reaching out to help. I think we have forgotten something very important…

The Lord is for me among those who help me;

Psalm 118:7

Let that sink in.

The Lord is for me among those who help me.

Beloved, when was the last time you helped someone? I don’t mean sent a check to an organization that helps. I mean you, with your hands, with your feet, with your words… when was the last time that you helped?

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him…

Genesis 2:18

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I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever;

John 14:6

We are on this earth for a purpose. You have a purpose… and that purpose is not to get all you can out of this life… your purpose is to give life, to give help, to share the love of Christ with others…

But the earth helped the woman, and the earth opened its mouth and drank up the river which the dragon poured out of his mouth.

Revelation 12:16

That slippery serpent, that nasty dragon, that evil one does not need our help in making a way for his river of vile condemnation and deception to pour out upon the souls of others… the world is hurting… people are hurting… precious ones… Let. Us. Be. Help.

Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord;
We have blessed you from the house of the Lord.
The Lord is God, and He has given us light;

Psalm 118:26-27

Let us come from the house of the Lord with light and with hope and with help. Let us shine life into the darkness of the hearts of those that God places in our path… let us speak words of truth with grace and love. Let us never forget that others will only discover that the Lord is for them when we who know Him choose to help them… not ignore them… or hurt them more.

Parenting is Serious Business

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Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14

Many times we seem to discover the last place that the words of our mouth or the meditations of our heart are acceptable in the Lord’s sight is when we are within the walls of our own home. Usually we find that the vilest of our words and actions are acted out right here in this place that should be a refuge and a place of safety from the groaning fallen world.

I remember the day well that I KNEW some things needed to change in me… in me… not my kids… IN ME.

I saw a replay of the epiphany that I had as I watched my girls interact one day with their younger cousin. My teenager was patiently and kindly explaining to my niece how to do something… and my youngest turned around and got up and came to sit in my lap with tears in her eyes and said, “Mommy it hurts my feelings to watch her tell somebody else to do something, because she is always nice to them and she tells me in a mean voice

Here’s the thing… Do your kids sit and watch you treat other people’s kids better than you treat them?

Here’s the other thing… If you can hold it together for other people’s kids… guess what… you have just proven that you can hold it together for your own.

Too often our attitudes and actions are matter of habits that need to be changed. In changing habits you have to have a starting point and you have to have accountability. The National Center of Biblical Parenting has tons of material to equip you with both. They have books and programs too offer you tools for successful parenting from birth to hey, it’s time you got a job 😉

Their latest release is *The Family Toolbox for Preteens and Teens

The Family Toolbox has 8 lessons. Each one has a 1-2 minute scene of a family living life and experiencing common challenges in their relationships. A discussion guide prompts dialogue between parents and teens and a 10-minute teaching session for parents featuring Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne MIller, RN, BSN gives practical tools to use right away.

As they work through the lessons with their parents, teens learn 16 Life Success Principles and parents learn valuable tools such as:

• How to focus on the heart instead of just behavior
• The cues you give that tell your children when you mean business
• Practical ways to remove conflict from the problems of family life
• How to end correction times with impact
• A tool for maximizing heart change in the correction process
• The value of teaching kids to accept no as an answer
• Ways to reduce anger episodes in children

What I loved about this material is that it is something that you work through with your kids. This is not you trying to incorporate some new parenting skills incognito with your kids. In this material you sit down with your family and say, Okay, some things need to change around here… with me and with you. So we are going to start this study as a family and work through this thing together. We are going to discuss what the parents are doing and what the kids are doing and we are going to see what we can learn so that our home is a place of peace and mutual respect.

*FT New Release

As the parent you want to watch the videos and work through the parent page first. This will help you to be prepared when you sit down to go through the videos with your kids and dialogue with them through the discussion questions.

Believe it or not, even if our kids whine about starting this, they will love doing this with you. It shows them that you care. It shows them that you are trying. It shows them that you want to see them succeed in life. Make sure that you give them the freedom to answer honestly. Examine your own self as you work through this with them and be willing to admit and address your own shortcomings… don’t just point out theirs.

This Family Toolbox study will take you less than 30 minutes a day… it’s well worth the time investment. You could make it dinner time convo. Set up the laptop at the dinner table or make it a pizza night in front of the tv in the family room… just do it. Trust me, you won’t regret it!

FT Disclaimer

*affiliate links used

*Find more parenting tools here: NCBP

God Said It At Least Ten Times, We Might Should Listen

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In our homeschool co-op chapel time I am teaching through the book of Proverbs. This past Monday we were focusing on Proverbs 10:1

The proverbs of Solomon.

A wise son makes a father glad,
But a foolish son is a grief to his mother.

As I prepared for this lesson I noticed that God restates this phrase in various ways at least ten times in the book of Proverbs alone:

Proverbs 13:1        Proverbs 15:20

Proverbs 17:21      Proverbs 17:25

Proverbs 23:24      Proverbs 27:11

Proverbs 29:3        Proverbs 29:15

Proverbs 29:17

I think this is a word… a message… a thought of God that He seriously is trying to convey the importance of to us… not just in relation to our earthly parents but to Him as well. As I began sharing this verses with the diverse ages in our chapel I wanted to first give a picture of what it kind of looks like when a wise son makes a father’s heart glad.

As we watch this interaction between father and son, we see what happens when a father realizes that his son has made that move from “foolish boy” to “wise son”. When this happens we see a mutual respect explode and blossom between the father and son. Father realizes that son has been listening, learning, and is ready to apply and the son realizes that the father believes in him and he boldly makes his move as his father supports him, shouting, “listen to my son!” The mutual respect becomes oh the more evident when we see the son proudly say, “that’s my dad!” Nemo, no doubt, showed himself to be a wise son who made his father glad.

Now for the second part of Proverbs 10:1…

As we watch, Merida thinks she is going to show her mother who is boss. Merida is foolish. She is so foolish that when this act backfires, and harms the relationship with her mother even more, she goes to a witch, gets a potion to change her mother to do what she wants her to do, and ends up turning her into a bear. Merida’s foolishness almost destroys her mother and the kingdom. What we have in this example is a lack of mutual respect and Merida’s foolishness was a grief to her mother.

In watching the Finding Nemo clip we see a snippet of a son who grew in wisdom and found favor with his father and those around him… this is a cute example, but our best example is found in the Person of Christ…

In the book of Luke as we are introduced to the baby Jesus we learn that

The Child continued to grow and become strong, increasing in wisdom; and the grace of God was upon Him.

Luke 2:40

We learn further on in this book that Jesus did not just grow in wisdom in such a way to impress only Himself, or even to just impress God the Father, but as He grew in wisdom, He grew in stature, and He grew in favor with God and man.

And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

Luke 2:52

Jesus grew in such a way that the Father placed full confidence in Him and pointed others to Him… as Nemo’s Dad swam up telling all the other fish to listen to His Son, God the Father made the same declaration of His Own…

While he was still speaking, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and behold, a voice out of the cloud said, “This is My beloved Son, with whom I am well-pleased; listen to Him!”

Matthew 17:5

As I began to share with our co-op families in chapel that day, I began to encourage the kids to trust in the love their parents had for them, reminding them that no one would ever love them as their parents… as I scanned the room my eyes caught the beautiful face of a young man who I knew was living with one of our families within the context of the foster care program. It was here when the Lord said, readjust…

I immediately changed my wording from parents, from mother and father, to saying, those who God had given them to take care of them… because as I shared I knew that when I said mother, when I said father, I meant those who are pouring their life into them, whether they be foster parents, adopted parents, grandparents, or their birth parents, but they might not, and I wanted them to know that God was not leaving them out.

Jesus, once again, is our example in this.

I think we sometimes forget that Jesus lived with a surrogate mother and an adoptive father. Yet we never once have Him recorded as turning around and telling them He didn’t have to listen to them because they were not His momma and daddy. No. We are given the opposite.

And He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and He continued in subjection to them; and His mother treasured all these things in her heart.

Luke 2:51

God the Father had placed His Son in the family of Mary and Joseph, these two would love Him, care for Him, provide for Him, educate Him, and train Him up in life… Jesus was to listen to them just as He was to listen to God the Father.

In looking at the relationship of Christ with His earthly parents we see that He always honored them… He honored them until His last breathe… and in looking at the relationship between Jesus and God the Father we see that Jesus only did what His Father asked Him to do… not once do we have Jesus turning around and saying, “I don’t think so Daddy, I am tired of living My life the way You said I have too, You don’t care about what I want, You only want Me to do Your will, well I ain’t havin’ it no more!

However, when you look at the programs set up for our kids in this modern day… is that not the message they preach to our children?

How many teen/preteen movies and television shows have this underlining theme between the kids and those who cared for them? How thankful I am that Jesus did not bow up and say, “No, Dad I’m throwing away Your’s”

No Jesus didn’t say that… He said the opposite

And He went a little beyond them, and fell on His face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will.”

Matthew 26:39

Now please know that I fully understand that parents are not perfect (I know I’m not), and I understand there really are parents who attempt to live vicariously through their kids, and I am sure there are even parents who have no clue what the gifts and talents of their kids are, and I am sure there are parents who have not even considered dreaming of a future and a hope with or for their kids… but I dare say that if you have been so blessed to be placed within the home and under the authority of people who love you and love God… listen to them. They do what they do and they say what they say, because they only want to see you succeed in life. So just take it all in and evaluate it. See if there be any good sense in it before you rebel against it.

A wise son makes a father glad,
But a foolish son is a grief to his mother.

God said it at least ten times, we might should listen.

Not only did He say it at least ten times, bit He spent nine previous chapters teaching us the importance of listening to the words and commands and instructions of our father and our mother. It is in listening that we grow in wisdom… even unwise words can be used to increase our own wisdom when we choose to weigh them against the absolute truth of the Word of God.

If by chance, you read this and you never had a mother or father who sought to see you succeed in life… hang on to this beloved…

You have been my help;
Do not abandon me nor forsake me,
O God of my salvation!
For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
But the Lord will take me up. 

Teach me Your way, O Lord, and lead me in a level path…

Psalm 27:9-11

Beloved, is not our goal, our deepest desire as a son or daughter of God, to have Him look at us and say, “That’s my child, with whom I am well-pleased, well done, well done my good and faithful servant.

Oh and are you not just giddy to point our Heavenly Father out and say “That’s my Dad! That’s my God!

When we come to the Father through Jesus Christ His Son, we have to ready and willing to say, God my dreams don’t matter, my will means nothing, I don’t care what I have to let go, who I have to walk away from, as long as I am Yours… not my will… but Yours be done… no matter what. 

The writing and teachings of Nicole Love Halbrooks Vaughn