Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.
Psalm 19:14
Many times we seem to discover the last place that the words of our mouth or the meditations of our heart are acceptable in the Lord’s sight is when we are within the walls of our own home. Usually we find that the vilest of our words and actions are acted out right here in this place that should be a refuge and a place of safety from the groaning fallen world.
I remember the day well that I KNEW some things needed to change in me… in me… not my kids… IN ME.
I saw a replay of the epiphany that I had as I watched my girls interact one day with their younger cousin. My teenager was patiently and kindly explaining to my niece how to do something… and my youngest turned around and got up and came to sit in my lap with tears in her eyes and said, “Mommy it hurts my feelings to watch her tell somebody else to do something, because she is always nice to them and she tells me in a mean voice“
Here’s the thing… Do your kids sit and watch you treat other people’s kids better than you treat them?
Here’s the other thing… If you can hold it together for other people’s kids… guess what… you have just proven that you can hold it together for your own.
Too often our attitudes and actions are matter of habits that need to be changed. In changing habits you have to have a starting point and you have to have accountability. The National Center of Biblical Parenting has tons of material to equip you with both. They have books and programs too offer you tools for successful parenting from birth to hey, it’s time you got a job 😉
Their latest release is *The Family Toolbox for Preteens and Teens
The Family Toolbox has 8 lessons. Each one has a 1-2 minute scene of a family living life and experiencing common challenges in their relationships. A discussion guide prompts dialogue between parents and teens and a 10-minute teaching session for parents featuring Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne MIller, RN, BSN gives practical tools to use right away.
As they work through the lessons with their parents, teens learn 16 Life Success Principles and parents learn valuable tools such as:
• How to focus on the heart instead of just behavior
• The cues you give that tell your children when you mean business
• Practical ways to remove conflict from the problems of family life
• How to end correction times with impact
• A tool for maximizing heart change in the correction process
• The value of teaching kids to accept no as an answer
• Ways to reduce anger episodes in children
What I loved about this material is that it is something that you work through with your kids. This is not you trying to incorporate some new parenting skills incognito with your kids. In this material you sit down with your family and say, Okay, some things need to change around here… with me and with you. So we are going to start this study as a family and work through this thing together. We are going to discuss what the parents are doing and what the kids are doing and we are going to see what we can learn so that our home is a place of peace and mutual respect.
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As the parent you want to watch the videos and work through the parent page first. This will help you to be prepared when you sit down to go through the videos with your kids and dialogue with them through the discussion questions.
Believe it or not, even if our kids whine about starting this, they will love doing this with you. It shows them that you care. It shows them that you are trying. It shows them that you want to see them succeed in life. Make sure that you give them the freedom to answer honestly. Examine your own self as you work through this with them and be willing to admit and address your own shortcomings… don’t just point out theirs.
This Family Toolbox study will take you less than 30 minutes a day… it’s well worth the time investment. You could make it dinner time convo. Set up the laptop at the dinner table or make it a pizza night in front of the tv in the family room… just do it. Trust me, you won’t regret it!
*affiliate links used
*Find more parenting tools here: NCBP