Category Archives: Poetry

I Am My Beloved’s

confessions

“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine,

He who pastures his flock among the lilies.”

Song of Solomon 6:3

 

I am my Beloved’s and my Beloved is mine
I am covered and protected
I am special in His eyes
I am lovely
I am beautiful
I am chosen by His hand
He holds me
He knows me
And still by my side He stands
He leads me through the waters
He guides me through the lands
He carries me through the wilderness
He never lets me down
I can trust in my Beloved
For His promises He keeps
He is faithful to me always
In Him my heart finds peace

I call to my Beloved
He answers with a voice both strong and sweet

He says, “I hear you My beloved
I have all that you’ll ever need.
I’ll never leave you nor forsake you
I’ll never degrade you when I speak
I’ll never hurt you or curse you
I’ll never bring you grief
I am here to love you
I am here to make you Mine
I am here to lift you up
And beloved the pleasure is all Mine
I see all of your potential
I see all that you can be
You were created to be special
Oh beloved, you were created just for Me
You were created because I loved you even before the world began
Oh My beloved, you are because I AM.”

 

(inspired and written in Sept 2004 when studying the Song of Solomon while teaching Sex According To God,)

O how He loves us!

Will we love Him in return?

Believe

Believe, Do You Believe

Beauty indescribable in awe at Your sight
Eternal Undivided, bathed in Your Light
Love unconditional, captured by Your grace
Insecurities unraveled strengthened by faith
Everlasting to everlasting my God You shall reign
Victorious all powerful my Christ, the King of kings
Elevated to all authority, all power is in Your hands

Dancing for You, kneel before You, my allegiance You have
Omnipotent, King of glory, I give You all my praise

You are worthy, oh so worthy, the Lamb who was slain
Omniscient, omnipresent, Your lovingkindness forever endures
Undeniable is Your presence every heart has felt You stir

Believe, oh believe, He is the Alpha and the Omega
Elohim, my Creator, Lord of heaven, Lord of earth
Lifted high, drawing nigh, every man to Yourself
Incomparable You alone are the One Living God
Empowered am I through being justified by Your blood
Validated before my Father, by faith in Your love
Every knee one day will bow, every eye one day will see

But blessings, upon blessings, for those who without seeing BELIEVE

**************************************************

But Thomas, one of the twelve, called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came.

So the other disciples were saying to him, “We have seen the Lord!”

But he said to them,

“Unless I see in His hands the imprint of the nails,

and put my finger into the place of the nails,

and put my hand into His side,

I will not believe.”

 After eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them.

 Jesus came, the doors having been shut, and stood in their midst and said,

“Peace be with you.” 

Then He said to Thomas,

“Reach here with your finger, and see My hands;

and reach here your hand and put it into My side;

and do not be unbelieving, but believing.” 

Thomas answered and said to Him, “My Lord and my God!” 

Jesus said to him,

“Because you have seen Me, have you believed?

Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed.”

John 20:24-29

ABC Poem of Praise

I wrote this as I was studying through the book of Psalms and learned that some of the Psalms had been written with each line beginning with a letter in the Hebrew alphabet…

Almighty God, in You do I trust.
By Thy hand I am guided,
Comforted by Thy touch.
Deliver me, my Father
Encompass me in Your arms.
For in Thee, my LORD, I shall not remain in harm.
Great is Thy faithfulness,
Honored is Your name.
In Thee be all majesty in glorious display.
Justice and righteousness alone are found in You.
Kindness and mercies,
Love, every morning they are new.
Mighty and awesome, before Thee I bow,
Not a God besides You,
O LORD, in Thee all things be, in, from, and through.
Peoples and nations shall one day Your name confess.
Quickly come my Saviour,
Redeem Thy saints from all distress.
Salvation is found in Thy name alone.
True is Your word, perfect is Thy law,
Upright are Your judgments, before Thee I fall.
Victory is found in Jesus Christ my Lord.
Worthy is the Lamb who was slain before the world.
Xplained by all creation, for creation Thy did create.
You uphold all things by the power of Your word.
Zion is Thy mountain, O come my King and reign!

There Is Hope

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As Walter Brueggemann put it, “This family (and with it the whole family of Genesis 1–11) has played out its future and has nowhere else to go. Barrenness is the way of human history. It is an effective metaphor for hopelessness. There is no foreseeable future. There is no human power to invent a future.”

Then, the story turns with these simple words: “The Lord . . . said . . .” (Gen 12:1). God spoke into the barrenness and chaos. It was as if He said, You’ve done your best, and this is where it has gotten you—now step aside.

Still early in the Genesis story, these words remind us of another time God spoke into darkness and chaos. Before God began to create, the “earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters.” Into nothing, “God said . . . ” God spoke and light erupted, vegetation blossomed, humans appeared. This is still what happens whenever God speaks.

—Winn Collier

You know… I don’t know where you are today. I don’t know the barrenness of your heart or the possible chaos of your soul. I don’t know if you are in a place where it seems that life is crumbling down all around you and you feel as though you are standing alone in the midst of all the broken pieces… but I do know that our Creator God can speak life and order and healing into whatever you are going through. I do know that He has not forsaken you, I do know that you are not alone… no matter how alone you feel.

Open up His Word and hear Him speak.

Stop trying to do it all on your own… you were never meant to.

God is there and I guarantee you that there is someone whose name is on your mind right now that you know would be there for you if they just knew what was going on. You may not have ever really spent a lot of time together. You may not have ever even talked to them. You may not know them at all, but have just seen them interact with others… but their name, their face, is before you now for a reason as you stand among the broken pieces.

Don’t let pride or fear of rejection or condemnation keep you from seeking help. Don’t keep hiding in the dark because our Creator said, let there be light!

A Night of Hope
So far away, so full of doubt
So lost inside, there’s no way out
Within this prison I scream, I shout
But no one hears, no eyes look about
Can no one see me
Is everyone blind
My fear overwhelms me
I’m falling this time

I smile I do, I play the game
I try to be different, but nothing does change
I hate this I do, don’t like how I feel
I want to be happy, I want to be sure
I want to be confident and secure
They tell me this, they tell me that
Follow ABC and all will be well with me

I’ve walked the line
I’ve jumped the hoops
But this time the tight rope is just to loose
My feet are slipping my knees to weak
My mind is reeling, into the darkness I sink
The darkness is safe, in it I hide
No one can see the thoughts of my mind
I hear the whispers, this voice so sleek
It tells me go on, in the darkness there’s peace

But another voice I hear, it’s distant and sweet
It whispers I love you, listen to me
It says in the darkness there is only dark
It says come to the Light, give me your heart
It says I see you, and hear you too
I know your thoughts and hear your screams
Come be still and know that it’s Me
Know that I came to give you a hope
Know that I’m here, My love have I shown
Come this night and know that I’m here
Come this night know to Me you are dear

While in your tears lift up your eyes
Take them off the dark and put them on the Light
Keep them focused looking right at Me
Know that I AM is right here, you’ll see
Trust in Me and in My love
Feel My arms around you embraced in a hug
Take a deep breath, breathe in My scent
Know for you My flesh was rent
I died for you that you might live
So lift up your head, for this hope to you I give

I wrote this May 7, 2009… in Him, in His Light, there is hope no matter how great the darkness, no matter how loud the chaos, no matter how barren the heart… in Him there is always Life no matter how deadened you may feel.

A Salvation Experience

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On November 9th in the year 1992, at the age of 15, I wrote the following as someone who thought she knew the Lord. I had believed Jesus was who He said He was. I had believed I was indeed a sinner, just like He said I was. I had confessed all this and been baptized three years prior:

“Image”

Depression lingers on my soul
I’m falling deep, too deep under his control
I don’t understand my actions
I’m hurt, I’m scared, I’m shattered
I’m reaching for fulfillment in the wrong places
I’m turning to all the wrong faces
Help me Lord to straighten my life
Help me to handle these strifes
Words come out of my mouth I don’t mean
Obscenities, temptations, even in my dreams
If I don’t turn around now there’s no telling how far I’d go
Straight to hell, more than likely, as far as I know
Help me Lord to withstand the temptations
Help me to fight these implications
I want to get drunk, get high, get laid
Yet all of these things I look upon with disdain
I feel fat, ugly, inferior, and rejected
Are these true or do I stand corrected?
Help me Lord to see a portrait of myself
Am I really worthless or of some importance?
Help me Lord I need to know
Help me I need you so.

Two years later on October 2nd in the year 1997, at the age of 17, I wrote the following:

“The Battle”

Strange and indescribable feelings float through my heart and soul
Are they feelings of guilt, of needing to change my life?
I really don’t know
They only come to me at night,
When it’s time to turn out the lights,
When you stop to think,
When you analyze your life,
When you think of the future,
When you wonder what’s in store.
They feel sort of like nervous butterflies fluttering around in my gut.
It bothers me because I can’t figure out what they’re for.
They come to me often.
They have for years.
Making me feel uncomfortable and scared to fall asleep.
Scared because it’s a feeling like the end.
A feeling like I won’t awake.
Like this is my last night on earth,
Yet so far I always do.
Should I worry about these feelings,
Take them as a premonition,
Or do I just ignore?
They feel as if they are my demons
That have seeped into my soul.
Yet they feel as if they are the Lord
Trying to save my soul.
Possibly it is a battle,
A battle between the two,
That has been raging through my conscience
That has always been at war,
Each one fighting for control.
One fighting for truth and good,
The other for the evils that I can do.
Each one trying to pull me his way
Yet it seems between them I sway.
Once wanting to live right and mend and stop my mistakes
Then doing the wrong without it bothering me at all
Not at all until these feelings come
Making me stop and review
Making me want to slap myself for the stupid things I do.
When I am alone I apologize for my sins
Seeing them as wrong and knowing this completely
Yet each time I step outside and enter the world
I push these apologies aside
And do again what I’ve begged forgiveness for.
I don’t believe I’ll ever understand
I don’t think I’ll ever get control
I feel as if I will always be at war.
I guess I need more strength
I need more room to grow
I need more self-respect
I need myself to get to know
I must decide what’s important
And get rid of what needs to go.

I wrote these poems having never read the book of Romans. If you read the struggle the one called “I” is going through in Romans 7:14-24, you will see that it is the exact struggle that I was going through. That I continued to go through until December 9th 2001.

You see just like this “I”, I was still in bondage to sin (Rom 7:14). I didn’t understand why I wanted to do good but couldn’t, and why I didn’t want to do evil, but couldn’t stop myself (Rom 7:15).

I hated myself.

Like this “I” in Romans 7:22, I knew that the Law of God was good and that I needed to be living according to it, but no matter what I did I could not do it. No matter how many times I “rededicated” my life, I still was a prisoner to the law of sin (Rom 7:23).

You see I was still trying to earn my way to God. I was still trying to obey the Law to be righteous. I was trying to do what the preacher told me to do. I said my prayer. I did the baptism. I followed my religions rules.

I did the works, but oh precious one, works without faith is dead (James 2:26).

You see this whole journey had always focused on me. My hurts, my failures, my wrongs, my sins, it was always about the fear of hell, the fear of not being accepted, the fear of not measuring up.

Oh but precious one, God had me, He never gave up on me.

You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit...
John 15:16

In my last poem I wrote that I needed “myself to get to know”, and that’s exactly what God was doing. He was letting me see myself for who I really was. A slave to sin.

The whole time I kept calling out to Him, and the whole time He kept drawing me unto Himself. Then one day it finally hit me. Listening to the testimony of a godly woman it hit me. It wasn’t just about my sins, it wasn’t just about getting rid of guilt, it was about Him. It was about turning away from anything that would keep me from Him, even if that meant my very self.

Suddenly nothing else mattered but HIM.

I wanted nothing but to know HIM and to be known by HIM. I didn’t care if I had a “perfect” life. I just wanted to be with God. I just wanted to hear HIS voice. To feel His presence. And at that moment I did! At that moment He revived me. At that moment HIS very presence completely overwhelmed me and I finally understood what it meant to become a new creation in Christ, the moment I died, I became alive, in Him!

It was at this moment I was wholly surrendered!

Here’s a poem I wrote on July 1st, in the year 2003, 2 years after becoming free:

“Independence Day”

Once a slave in bondage
Captivated by sin
Once a puppet controlled
by the evil within
Once defeated, beat down,
by choices made
Once weak, once weary
intimidated, afraid
Once ashamed, and disgraced
and doomed to die
Once dead in my sin
Now brought to life!
Glory, hallelujah, praises to His name
Glory, hallelujah, it’s Independence Day!
The battle is over
the Victory is won
I now have freedom
by faith in the Son
The shackles are loosed
Christ tore them away
No longer controlled, no longer a slave
No longer defeated, No longer abhorred
For greater is He that is in me
Than he that is in the world
Glory, hallelujah, praises to His name
Glory, hallelujah, it’s Independence Day
Free at last, free at last
Thank God Almighty I am free at last
Free to sing, free to dance
Free from the pain of mistakes of the past
No more shame, no more fear
no more emptiness within
No more bitterness, no more hate
I am filled by HIM
I saw the Light at the cross
I fell at His feet
I gave Him all my burdens
He allowed me to weep
I cried out all my fear
I cried out all my sins
He gave me forgiveness
He gave me a new chance to begin
Glory, hallelujah, praises to His name
Glory, hallelujah, it’s Independence Day!
In Christ is our freedom
In Jesus is our peace
From lasting to everlasting
From the west to the east
From mountain to valley
From sea to shining sea
I live, I live!

Because Jesus died for me.

The “I” in Romans 7:14-25 had to be someone who was under the conviction of the Holy Spirit or they would not even have a concern about whether or not they were obeying the Law of God. Whether we have already confessed Jesus as the Christ, or whether we have just now come to our senses and realized that Jesus is the Christ, we can find ourselves a prisoner to the law of sin. Apart from Christ we are in bondage, evil present within us, sin dwelling in us.

What we have to know is what Paul made perfectly clear to us in Romans 6 that if we have been justified by faith in Christ, then we have died to sin. We have been baptized into His death, our old nature crucified on the cross with HIM, our body of sin done away with, we were buried with Him, and we rose with Him in newness of life, a slave to sin no longer. Sin would no longer be our master.

If we, as a believer, find ourselves as the “I” in Romans 7:14-24 and we act as though we are still a prisoner of sin, sold into bondage, then we live as though Christ did not do enough and our actions attempt to null and void Romans 2-6.

Wake up believer! Wake up!

In Christ, you are dead to sin and alive to God! Christ is your master, not sin. Sin no longer dwells in you, the Holy Spirit of God does (Romans 8:9).

Romans 8:13 states plainly that “for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die;” If you continuously still live your life according to your flesh, then have you really ever died with Christ?

(The question is… do I now love Christ more than this sin of my flesh… do I love HIM enough to kill this evil that’s trying to creep in on me… to curse this fig tree that it might never bear fruit in me or through me again) 

Many need to wake up and realize one of two things, they are completely ignorant of the power that is theirs in Christ, or they are not in Christ at all.

For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.

Romans 8:14

When Paul writes that we are dead to Law that does not mean we are lawless, we are dead to the Law, but we are joined to Christ! Joined to Christ to bear fruit to God (Romans 7:4). Too many have a form of godliness, and yet deny the power of Christ.

There is a big difference in not being perfect and being a complete fraud.

As a believer do we sin? Yes, we stumble, we stumble in our pursuit of God. We do not sin because we couldn’t help it. If we sin it is a choice, you chose to. We are still in this flesh and we are still in the process of sanctification. Which is Paul’s whole point of Romans 7 and being dead to the Law.

Many believe we are justified by Christ, but kept saved by obeying the Law, or whatever their religious rules are. Paul is saying no.

You were saved by Christ, and you are sanctified by Christ.
You live by Christ and you are kept by Christ.

You are not made holy by obeying a bunch of rules. You are made holy by obeying the Spirit of God that dwells in you, if you are indeed in Christ.

Is there a battle?
Yes there is, but in Christ we are not a slave.
We are not powerless.

Just as in the days of Esther when the King’s edict went out by messengers to let the Jews know that they had permission, freedom, and weapons to fight any evil that came against them. In Christ we have been set free and empowered to fight.

Now we are fully equipped, a free child of God, able to have authority over the flesh and whatever temptations come our way. As long as we are walking in the Spirit, we will never fulfill the lusts of the flesh.

Every Christian can have his body under absolute control for God. God has given us the responsibility to rule over all “the temple of the Holy Spirit,” including our thoughts and desires (1 Corinthians 6:19). We are responsible for these, and we must never give way to improper ones. But most of us are much more severe in our judgment of others than we are in judging ourselves. We make excuses for things in ourselves, while we condemn things in the lives of others simply because we are not naturally inclined to do them.

~ Oswald Chambers

Now we groan, awaiting our glorified body. We have been freed from sins power, but still deal with sin’s presence, but one day even this battle will be over. Until that day it is our responsibility to “…make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lust” (Romans 13:14)

If you examine yourself and know that you are indeed a child of God according to the Word of God and yet you continue to constantly stumble, check what you are providing your flesh.
Feed your spirit and not your flesh.

Giving Him praise for not leaving me as He found me… but working in me and through me, transforming me and conforming me, more and more into the image of His Son, for His glory, for His excellency…
for His will, not mine,
for His life, not mine,
because He alone is worthy!
Glory to my God and to His Christ, my Savior! 

How Long, How Wide, How Deep, How High

I wrote this poem of praise after I studied through the book of Ephesians… praise Him with me 🙂

Grant me O God, according to the riches of Your glory, to be strengthened in my inner man
Strengthen me with power, with the power of Your Spirit, so that in Your grace I might firmly stand
O my Savior, my glorious Christ, come dwell freely in my heart,
Come in and have Your way in every hidden part
Through faith You have Your entrance
And through faith
The love with which you captured me may be grounded and take root
O that I might know the wonders of Your love,
How long, how wide, how deep, how high
Are the riches of Your mercy and the kindness of Your will
O that I might understand the vastness of Your grace,
How long, how wide, how deep, how high,
And that with all Your fullness my Creator God my self You would fill
For I know there is no limit to the power that You hold
I cannot even fathom the glory of Your greatness that is of yet untold
You have given me Your Spirit,
How deep, how low He had to come
He resides, how long, within this decaying flesh
In order that I more like Christ might become
How could I not declare Your glory
How could I not sing loud Your praise
How could I not fall down in worship
How could I not be humbled by Your grace
My Jesus, I am Your prisoner, I am Your willing slave
Oh that I might walk in a manner worthy of all that you have gave,
How wide, Your arms outstretched in order me to save
You called me out of darkness and snatched me from the fire
I was dead in my trespasses, living according to my flesh,
Held in chains by the evil one, the power of the air
Yet You in Your rich mercy lavished me with grace
You made known to me the Gospel, the power of salvation to all who would believe
You called to me,
You saved me,
And now alive I am,
And now how high, I am seated in my Jesus, forever with Thee I’ll be.

Poem Inspired From the Study of Isaiah 40-53

I wrote this poem this morning during my quiet time with my God. It’s a poem of praise and worship inspired from the truths that God gives us in His Word in the book of Isaiah… may you praise Him with me 🙂

My God I am here, my body still before You now
Still my heart and open my mind to the whisper of Your voice
Let the truth of Your word saturate my soul
Awake my ear this morning
Open my eyes so that You I behold
Allow me to bask in the beauty of Your word
Let me know, let me feel, the weight of your glory
Teach me Your ways oh my God
Lead me in the way that I should go
May Your word alone light the way of my path
Your will alone be the push behind each of my steps
I rest in You, in Your glorious hope
I am quietly strengthened by what of You I know
Grow me, my God, in Your mercy and grace
Refine me as silver until in me You see the reflection of Your precious Son’s face

I am here to be still before You my God
I will wait through the trial, temptations, whatever it takes
I’ll pass through Your fire so all this dross might be burned away
Righteousness and holiness is what You require
Repentance and belief is what You desire
You are the One who forms light and causes well things
And You are the One who creates calamity and darkness to open eyes that refuse to see
Though I was stubborn-minded and far from Your grace
You brought near to me Your righteousness and Your salvation did not delay
You told me that you loved me and that I was precious in Your sight
You reminded me that I was not forgotten and You were my God
Surrender is what You asked for, just to fall in Your arms
You promised You would carry me however long no matter how far
Oh yes You are God, the Lord of hosts is Your name
No other is like You and those who trust in You will not be put to shame
Your salvation is forever, from everlasting to everlasting in You I am saved
It is You alone who wipes out my sin and transgressions for Your gloroious name’s sake

I am part of the people that You formed for Yourself
I cannot sit silent and set my life on the world’s shelf
You formed me my God to declare Your praise
You saved me my God to carry Your name
You command me my God to go out and proclaim
My voice it is calling “Clear out! For the Lord, clear the way!”
I lift up my voice mightily and Your good news I shout
I point to Yeshua and say “Here is your God!
The Savior, your Redeemer, please do not doubt!”
He was despised and forsaken and hated by men
He was pierced for our transgressions, crushed for our sin
The cup of wrath that is ours He willingly drank
So that by the sacrifice of Himself we might be eternally saved
Oh How great the Father’s love is for us
I praise You my Jesus and in You I do trust
My God I am Your watchman and I lift up my voice
I joyfully shout and expectantly wait,
I announce Your salvation,
Oh bring Your good news with these feet!
Let me proclaim and declare and shout
The Lord has bared His holy arm in the sight of all nations
That the salvation of God all the ends of the earth may see.
So come, come now, to His springs of living water, come now and drink