You might think after a certain amount of time with the Lord, you would stop learning about yourself… but the fact is you don’t. I think if you stop learning, then that’s when you know you are in trouble.
There are things that I have grace for in abundance. There are sins that I can lovingly rebuke and can hear that others are struggling with and I never check up at how I see them or emotionally feel about them… however there are others that don’t break my heart… they downright make me mad. They make my head tilt, my eyes twitch, and I have to bite my tongue to be kind because I have little grace to give for these sins.
I have often wondered why these particular sins receive such a deep emotional response within me.
And well I have discovered the reason why…
These are the few sins at their base that do this to me…
1) Sexual Sin
2) Dishonoring Authority
3) Ingratitude
It takes a huge dose of the Spirit to keep me in wise counsel when confronting someone in the midst of these sins. As I asked God one day during my quiet time why these sins worked such emotion in me… He answered me…
Oh Nicole, these are the sins you hate because they were your sins.
These are the sins that I carried and these are the sins that Satan used to hold my chains and to control me for the first twenty-four years of my life. These are the sins that haunt me and these are the sins that Satan and his forces of darkness use to whisper condemnation in my ear… so I hate these sins with a vengeance.
I struggle to not give my “what fors” when I know someone is living in these sins… willfully when they profess to know Christ. I can’t help but question their relationship with Christ because these are the sins that were put to death in me when I met Him and became His.
I don’t understand how someone can say they love Christ and yet willfully practice sex outside of marriage.
I don’t understand how someone can say they love Christ and then in the next breath cuss out and/or dishonor their parents, teachers, coaches, etc.
I don’t understand how someone can say they love Christ and then grumble and complain about everything and never say thank you or appreciate all that has been given for and to them.
I have learned that I don’t understand these things because these are the things that God in Christ saved me from… and still to this day I hate them. I hate these sins because I know the consequences of them. I have seen the hurt they cause up close and personal. So I hate them.
Yes, it takes every ounce of divine grace I have to hold my tongue and to show love and patience toward a professing believer that I see willfully practicing these… I have to remember that I professed Christ when I was in them as well… though I knew Him not then…
Yet I would know Him indeed.
Please don’t think for one minute that you will hear me say these sins are okay… or pat someone on the back with a there-there as they suffer the consequences of these yet choose to stay in them. I also won’t cast pearls before swine, I will wait for God to move in them though my head is still tilting, eye is still twitching, and my tongue is probably bleeding from the bearing of my teeth upon it. It’s not that they don’t know… they just choose not to obey and God doesn’t force obedience, so neither shall I. God has taught me to let grace and mercy be present in my judgment because it was grace that drew me to the cross and I will trust that it will be grace that brings the others I meet and know as well… I will try my hardest to keep my Bible from pounding upon their head and instead will use it to stand upon in faith and in hope that the love of Christ will triumph in their hearts.
And I will continue to hate these sins so they never rise in me again.
A worthless man digs up evil, While his words are like scorching fire. A perverse man spreads strife, And a slanderer separates intimate friends. A man of violence entices his neighbor And leads him in a way that is not good.
Proverbs 16:27-29
We live in a day where marriages are falling apart all over the place. I read these words of Scripture and I thought, wow… how many marriages have fallen apart that would have made it had this person described in Proverbs 16:27-29 not interfered?
Let’s break it down.
Whenever I read the warnings in Scripture that pertain to a person I look at them in at least three ways:
1) God, help me to recognize this person
2) God, help me to see if I am this person
3) God, help me to not be this person
We are warned that the person described as a “worthless man” in Proverbs 16:27-29 “digs up evil” and his words are described to be “like a scorching fire”. To scorch something is to cause intense heat or mental anguish,to burn a surface of so as to change its color and texture, to afflict painfully with censure or sarcasm…
Now who is the person as it relates to our marriages?
This is a person who comes up to you and says “you know before you married them I remember the time they...” and this is the person who says “how can you forgive them after they… I would have never been able to forget that” and says, “it doesn’t bother you that your spouse…” You see this is the person who goes digging for something evil to speak about your spouse. They come at you when you are smiling… and there purpose is to wipe that smile off of your face. Their purpose is to discolor and distort the way you see your spouse. Their purpose is to cause you mental anguish over something that is in the past, or something that is assumed and may very well not even be true. God calls this person worthless.
The next person is said to be a “perverse man” and this person is someone who “spreads strife”
This is the person who sees that you and your spouse might just be on edge today. This person sees the tension and strife and instead of coming to you to help heal and mend and settle the strife… they come to spread it, share it, and increase it. This is the person who says, “oh honey, you don’t have to take that” and says “well you have every right to be mad, you better give back as good as you get!” This is the person that their eyes light up when they see that you and your spouse are fighting and they can’t wait to fan the flame… and God calls this person perverse.
The next person is a “slanderer” and they come to “separate intimate friends”
There is no friend more intimate than your spouse. Anyone who comes at you with words to bring down your spouse, to speak evil of their character, to make accusations against them… you need to walk away. Now please let’s get real and understand that family is family, your spouses mother, father, brothers, and sisters, etc… they grew up with them, they know them, they love them… I am speaking of the person that is especially not family, the “friend” whether they be male or female and comes at you with words to intentional make you disconnect with your spouse. They come to drive a wedge between you and your spouse by drawing attention to small things and making them appear bigger and worse than they truly are. God calls this person a slanderer.
The next person is called “a man of violence” and they come to “entice their neighbor” and lead them “in a way that is not good”
This person is the one who comes and is supposedly the answer to all your issues. They are the one who steps in and draws you to them and away from your spouse. They encourage you to walk away from the marriage. They tell you its not fixable. They tell you that you deserve better than your spouse. They tell you there is no hope, things will never change, they will never get better. They tell you its best to walk away and start over. Salvage what you have left of your life. If you have fallen out of love with them today you won’t fall back in love with them tomorrow.
Why is this person known as a man of violence? Violence is an exertion of physical force so as to injure or abuse (as in warfare effecting illegal entry into a house), injury by or as if by distortion, infringement, or profanation.
This is a person of violence because they are physically and forcefully invading your house for the sole purpose of bringing injury and abuse for their own selfish pleasure or gain. They come into your house, your marriage, your union with this person, this person who you are now one flesh with and they come in to infringe on something that does not belong to them. They come to profane something that God has called holy. If this person succeeds, they kill. They violently rip through and destroy a home from the inside out. You cannot rip something that was once two and now has become one without hurt, pain, and destruction. God calls the person who does this a man of violence.
So let us pay attention to the words and warnings in this passage of Scripture in the Proverbs. Let it be used as our marriage protection and may it be a warning to us, that we be careful to help protect the marriages of others and not be a part of their destruction…
As people of God our desire should be to build up the house not tear it down.
I can look back on my life and see times when I have fit into one or more of these descriptions and it makes me sick to my stomach. I can look back on my marriage and I can hear the slimy voice of that slinky serpent as he accuses, distorts, and brings up past hurts in the midst of present trials and whispers, “see it will never get any better“. Let me tell you HE IS A LIAR! It can get better. It can get beyond better… it can get fairy tale butterflies in your stomach everyday better. It might not… but let me tell you that it indeed can. Don’t give up on God by giving up on your spouse.
In other words, in marriage you live hour by hour in glad dependence on God’s forgiveness and justification and promised future grace, and you bend it out toward your spouse hour by hour—as an extension of God’s forgiveness and justification and promised help.
~ John Piper
I am beyond thankful for the grace of God and His redeeming arm. I beyond thankful that He doesn’t count ignorance against us. I am beyond thankful that He never turns a deaf ear to a repentant heart and cry for forgiveness. I am beyond thankful that He never stops teaching those who seek Him. He is the God of second chances.
If you looking for a new perspective on your marriage… let me suggest you dig into This Momentary Marriage by John Piper.
For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive,
And abundant in lovingkindness to all who call upon You.
As you read through the pages of Scriptures it is painfully obvious that there is absolutely nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9). I am back in Ezekiel in my personal study time… I was reading and digging into in Ezekiel 33 when I read,
“But as for you, son of man, your fellow citizens who talk about you by the walls and in the doorways of the houses, speak to one another, each to his brother, saying, ‘Come now and hear what the message is which comes forth from the Lord.’ They come to you as people come, and sit before you as My people and hear your words, but they do not do them, for they do the lustful desires expressed by their mouth, and their heart goes after their gain. Behold, you are to them like a sensual song by one who has a beautiful voice and plays well on an instrument; for they hear your words but they do not practice them.
Ezekiel 33:30-32
This is America… here in America the professing Christians pack out the mega church. We fill stadiums and conference centers to hear the words of Louie Giglio, Beth Moore, John Piper, Joyce Meyer, Kay Arthur, etc… We file into church on Sunday morning in our Sunday best to hear our pastor preach and either leave expounding on how great the message was or complaining because he just didn’t do it for us today and maybe we need to change churches because this guy just doesn’t evoke enough gusto into the performance for us…
We come and we hear… and then we leave.
We leave to go be entertained again…
what race is on?
what game is on?
what movie is playing?
what restaurant can we get in the quickest?
how soon can I get on my couch and take a nap?
They come to you as people come, and sit before you as My people and hear your words, but they do not do them, for they do the lustful desires expressed by their mouth, and their heart goes after their gain. Behold, you are to them like a sensual song by one who has a beautiful voice and plays well on an instrument; for they hear your words but they do not practice them.
It’s quite horrifying actually…
Does it not strike terror in your heart?
It does mine… I am just as guilty.
Have you ever considered how many children you could afford to adopt if you chose to support the orphan instead of Hollywood. Have you ever considered how many starving mouths you could feed if you chose to use your money to put food in the mouths of children instead of drugs in the mouths of the latest pop star? Have you ever considered how many child sex slaves you could rescue if you chose to invest your money in the organizations that work to rescue them instead of the culture that works to build a desire for them through its perversions?
I can’t help but it cross my mind…
I am a teacher and a mother. I know what it feels like to teach and have people come up and say how great the lesson was… and then walk out and do exactly what you just taught against. I have been with the groups that packed out the dome and the conference center… yet when it comes down to making a personal choice how many choose…
the lustful desires expressed by their mouth, and their heart goes after their gain
Why do you go to church on Sunday’s?
When you sit under your Pastor or small group leader are you there listening to the Word of God so that you might go out the door ready to put into action what you have learned?
Or are you there critiquing them? Sitting as their judge to decide if they really “brought it” today.
Do you come to be entertained…
Behold, you are to them like a sensual song by one who has a beautiful voice and plays well on an instrument; for they hear your words but they do not practice them.
…or are you there to be trained?
Do you come to the Word of God to be changed or do you come to be entertained?
Look at your hands and your feet and examine where you go and what you do and answer honestly. Look at your yesterday and compare it to your today. Are you closer to Christ or further away?
Oh me, the stuff in my head… I have so many ministry opportunities that I see and desire to be a part of, but unfortunately I am a human being that is indeed bound by space and time and my own set apartness by God. I can only do what God will allow me to do at the present time. At this present time my ministries are wife, mother, homeschool mom, children’s ministry director and teacher at my church, homeschool co-op co-administrator and chapel leader, devotional author, blogger… and well all the stuff that entails… and I still have all these other things floating around in my head that are just not possible for me to do at this present time.
However, maybe, just maybe, you are reading this and you are wondering “what could I do to serve my Jesus and His people” let me just shoot out some of the things I see that I would love to do if I could take on just one more thing.
Prison ministry: I would love to teach in the prisons… hey they are a captive audience and are no doubt, quite possibly hungry for light and life
Foster care: This is still something that I think will be doable to add to our family where we are at… and is something I hope to do in the near future… but hey what better ministry opportunity than to embrace a hurting, abandoned, little one in your arms and love them with grace and mercy and show them the gospel lived out.
Nursing home ministry: Once again a captive audience, what joy it would be to bring the study of the word of God to those who can no longer go themselves.
Shiftwork Bible study: My husband works a swing shift… I am not sure anything is on our schedule. I would love to begin an at home Bible study for the wives of those on his shift or if you are a shift worker why not begin one in your own home with meeting times that swing with your schedule
Stripclub Bible study: That’s right! I said it. This would be a great one for a 60+ year old FEMALE. Just march yourself right on in there and find a table and open up the Bible and start a study with whatever girl is willing to stop and ask you what in the world you are doing there.
Government housing Bible Study for single moms: Bring a friend to teach the kids and teach the moms!
Pampering Bible study: Do you do hair? Start a study in your home, if you don’t teach partner with someone who does, at the end of the study, whoever finished the course, gets a new do for free?
Princess party: do a weekend preteen Bible study that focuses on teaching these girls what it means to be God’s princess and do nails and junk food and all that slumber party fun as you study through Song of Solomon or Ruth or Esther
First Priority: Be an adult leader in a first priority group at your child’s school
After school Bible study: Do you have the privilege of coming home with your kids after school? Maybe choose one day a week to open your home or church to an after school Bible study and fellowship with food and fun with your kids peer group, and not necessarily the ones that go to church with you, but the one’s who don’t go to church anywhere.
Maybe you are not teacher? That’s okay volunteer. Do you know how many teachers would love to have someone come and serve along side of them who can keep up with paperwork and communication with the people they are teaching. Can you be the one to make sure everyone has a pencil and paper, can you be be the one to send a thank you card and we missed you last week card? Those are HUGE helps to a teacher!
Maybe you can serve as volunteer at a food kitchen or pregnancy resource center or nursing home, be there as friendly face and a helping hand… there are so many things… I know a lady who was a widow, she served as a volunteer at the pregnancy resource center and when a young girl came in pregnant or not with no place to go… well they came home with her and she loved them. She made them go to church with her and they could stay until they got on their feet again.
As the children’s ministry director at my church, let me tell you that if you would just be willing to serve a turn on the extended care rotation at your church, to help take care of the little ones so that their moms and dads can hear the Pastor and attend Bible Study and be strengthened in the Word so that they can in turn teach their children at home… this is huge as well!
These are just a few thoughts, just the things on the tip of my brain, running through my head… friend there is so much to be do, so much that can be done… I talked with a missionary from the Ukraine this past Monday and he shared with me how there is so much work to do in the Ukraine… he works with children in the Ukraine, with the orphans. Not only does he see the work that needs to be done in the Ukraine but he sees the work that needs to be done here.
He shared how he spoke at a church once here in the United States and he shared about his ministry work in the Ukraine… he told me that after he shared a man in the church came up to him with an attitude and wanted to know why he was wanting money for the kids in the Ukraine when there were kids here that needed support, his answer to this man… because I am doing what called me to do, God has called me to the children in Ukraine, what are you doing?
The man had no answer…
My friend there is so much to do for the Kingdom… what are you doing? God has given you an ability, an opportunity, an open door to make a difference in this world if it be only through the life of one that he has placed in your path… what are you doing? May we open our eyes and see that the fields are white for harvest.
“Opportunities to display abilities and gifts come to all kinds of people, Christian or not. We can play it safe and get what we can for ourselves—or we can risk reputation, possessions, and life itself so that God may have what He wants.”
~ Pastor Ray Stedman
And I can wonder about the state of my heart all I want, if the arteries and the valves are hardly warmed over —
but give me a break, it’s right there in my hands.
It’s my hands that are content to mindlessly scroll through Pinterest and Facebook and too often it’s escapism and not ministry (and it could be. Anything can be made a ministry to somebody. All things are Big in the Kingdom of God).
It’s my hands that grow numb and cold and refuse to fold around God in prayer, refuse to fold hope around all this bleeding everywhere.
Hands are the thermometer of the heart.
And a heart that burns for it’s First Love — it flows like mercury to the hands that then reach out to warm a numbed world.
I guess you could say the difference in the male vs female classes is the difference between men and women. Duh! Women are way more talkative and men use fewer words to say the same thing. Really prefer the straight-forwardness of the men and there is less drama. Women get into everybody’s business, the men don’t. That’s my 1st impression…
~ MaryAlice
The above quote is from a bond-servant of Christ who was reporting her prayer request and observations after her first time teaching a precept Bible study class to male inmates in a high security prison… her ministry has always been in the female prisons, but God has led her kicking and screaming and now trusting here to these men who need freedom within these prison walls. The above quote was her final observation on her first experience.
I have a preteen daughter (Lol, how did I go from prison to preteen girls? Just go with me ;-)) so at the moment we are in the midst of her experience with her introduction into the drama of the female.
Sadly one of the first goals of every woman should be to search out female relationships that will have your back without throwing a knife into… Let me first off assure you that those women are out there.
You just have to be one to find one.
I met my first drama free friend in 7th grade, but it wasn’t until around 10th grade that we realized what we had in each other… and once it clicked we clung to each other. I knew she would always speak truth to me and I knew she always had my back… and I never worried about drama with her. Not that she and I were perfect in our friendship, but we respected each other, and stood by each other regardless. The funny thing is we were completely opposites… and still are. I was country and cowboy boots, she was city and high heels. I was conservative republican she was liberal democrat. I live in the southeast she headed west to California. I started a family early she focused on career and just started her family a few months ago. I could go on… with what made us different, but the point is differences don’t matter when respect is present.
After she left for California over 13 years ago it took me a while to find that type of friendship with another female… but God led me and one trust step at a time I don’t just have one of those female friends, God has blessed me with several. So ladies, they are indeed out there!
I had the great joy of hanging with my BFF from high school yesterday as she was visiting with her newborn son and showing him off to all her family here in the South… as she shared with me her birth experience she told me how she fell in love with her husband all over again as she watched him with their newborn son… she shared how that surprised her… she hadn’t expected that at all. I just smiled because I know exactly what she means. I wanted to tell her then how many times that will happen in the days and years to come… but I don’t want to ruin the joy of her discovery!
There are many times that I fall in love with my husband all over again… and as we walk through yet another preteen parenthood experience I had another one of those moments as I listened to him share with me the breakdown of his most recent one-on-one convo with our preteen.
The moment I melted was when he shared with me these words:
I told her that I know she is going through an identity crisis at this point in her life, trying to decide where she fits and who she is, and I told her how I know that she is going to “pick up” actions and words and habits from the friends she hangs around and will imitate them in things, that’s just human nature, but let’s say that you like a boy when you are ready for that, and for all these years you have been “acting” like this friend, so you and this boy start dating… who is he really liking? You or the friend you have been acting like? Our preteen said, my friend. So what is going to happen when he finds out who you really are and that you don’t always act like that friend? Our preteen said, he’s going to leave. Right! Because it wasn’t you he liked to begin with… Honey, just be your freakin’ self! Be yourself all the time!
When I heard “Honey, just be your freakin’ self! Be yourself all the time!“ I fell in love with my husband all over again.
I am thankful to be facing these preteen parenthood days with this man by my side. We make a pretty good team… and our girls know that we are indeed on the same team… and they also know that this team is on their side and is here to help them reach victory in this life.
These days of preteen parenthood is rough… I have not looked forward to them. It is here that my paranoia begins… Fear can grip me quickly over their choices.
Are they making the right friends?
Are they thinking the right thoughts?
Are they still seeking God?
Are they going through the motions or are they sincere?
Do they respect themselves?
Are they buying the lie that tells them that I only care about what others think of me when I lay restrictions and deliver discipline?
(I think this is the biggest lie that effects our “church kids” I hear it often, and although I know it can be true in some situations, I assure you the majority of the time that is not the case, as shocking as it may be, some parents truly do care about their child’s holiness and sanctification and their own personal relationship with Christ, and are not out to impress “Deacon Dan” or “Sister Susan” we just want you to live an abundant life in and with and through Christ)
My prayer is so often “Oh God please don’t let me lose them to this world! Please don’t let them get sucked into the false pleasures of this world. God hold them close to you, keep a tight grip on their hearts!”
Part of me just wants to lock them down and “protect” them from this world, so that they never get hurt, never suffer the consequences of wrong choices. But I know that simply is not a possibility… besides I want my daughters to be life changers not life hiders. And how easy it is to forget that my girls are not mine to lose… they belong to God.
So today with our preteen, we are at this point of catch and release in a small pond.
We have given our preteen small pond privileges. The pond is big enough for her to swim out in, but small enough for us to quickly catch her and reel her back in when it’s needed.
At this point in her life she is getting her first real experiences with female drama… As much as I would like to just completely control the relationships… my husband and I are trying to instead use this as an opportunity to instill life lessons. The truth of the matter is, that for the rest of her life as a female she will face these situations, these relationships. Prayerfully she will learn in these preteen years how to discern the drama starter… and most importantly how not to be the drama starter.
What life as believer in a Sovereign God has taught me is that life is meant to be lived intentional.
Every situation matters.
Every opportunity is a life lesson.
Nothing is random.
Preteen drama is not petty. It is practice for becoming a true woman of God whose value is in her character and integrity not her outer appearance or social status.
So as my husband and I step out once again in raising a preteen girl… I pray we remember the lessons we learned the last time around with our now 21 year old. I pray that we walk with wisdom. I pray that we don’t let fear lead us to react instead of respond. I pray that we learn to guide instead of dictate. I pray that we stand united and let not the child divide. I pray that we never forget that God loves our girls even more than we do.
So teach us to number our days, That we may present to You a heart of wisdom.
Sleep is never just sleep with me. I always experience an entire other day… or many days while I sleep. It’s crazy sometimes how dreams work. They are a jumbled mess… well mine are anyway.
Somehow last night in my dreams… at one point it was my birthday (I think) and a young lady from church brought me a gift that was tied to balloons… and she offered an apology because they were actually yellow baby shower balloons, but she said that was all they had. This is funny in its self because several nights ago I dreamed I was pregnant and delivered and my husband and I didn’t know what we were going to have until the baby was born, and the baby was a boy. I was so excited! I was trying to send out “It’s A Boy!” text messages and FB updates but none of our gadgets would work. That stupid little spinning circle just kept spinning… and I was one fired up female because I couldn’t get our great announcement out to the world. Then yesterday my husband fell asleep on the couch and woke up with a shock… he had dreamed I was pregnant… and he had not responded well to the news. Somehow babies keep invading our sleep… but that has been the case for over ten years now in some form or fashion!
Okay back to last night.
So after the balloons I find myself with my sisters and my nieces and nephews and I am handing out invitations and gifts to something… I can’t remember what it was, but I know it was important that they each got one.
Then the next thing I know I am waking up after being asleep in my dream. (Yes, dreaming I am asleep while I am asleep.) When I wake up my husband and I are now living in the house I grew up in from toddler to teen. I have walked out of the master bedroom of that house and into the living room and I can still see it clear as when I was living there. It’s even the same couch, the same front door, the same front porch, the same view into the front yard.
I am in my pj’s and housecoat and it’s early and the rest of the house is still asleep and then the doorbell rings. I go to the door and its a woman I never met asking me about homeschool information… and then I see a man carrying a child, and both the man and the woman are quite distraught but this morning I can’t remember why.
I recall closing the door behind me after telling them goodbye and hoping that I was able to help them and then I remember stretching out on the couch… because just as in reality I was still sleepy when I awoke…
I stretch out and pick up my ipad, open it up and then the next thing I know my sins of the past are on video before me. There I was in drunken stuppors… there I was in all my shame… recorded and on Facebook! I was trying with all my might to press delete… I couldn’t even get the stupid thing to turn off… my heart was pounding… my stomach was churning… my hands were sweating… I was terrified.
Then I woke up.
I woke up and my first thoughts were “oh God thank you! thanks you that this was only a dream! thank you that my days of stupid were not in this day! thank you God the only time my past will be seen again is through your eyes of grace! thank you God for loving me and calling me and forgiving me and making me new. thank you that I am not who I was!”
I woke up praising God that the only technology that was out and about in my high school/college days was a camera with film that had to be developed and a video camera that was the size of a small car so no one could have it on you without your knowledge.
It’s amazing how your past follows you even haunts you at times… but the beauty of the rebirth, is that you don’t have to follow your past. Your before doesn’t have to be your after…
If I try now in my waking moments to analyze this dream… and please know that I am no Daniel or Joseph…
I would say that the birth of a baby boy is exciting news and being able to share that news as someone who has experienced that birth is very important! That baby boy is Jesus and I have experienced His birth and in Him I have been born again and I want to send out His birth announcement to the world. When I experienced His birth in me I first sent out invitations and gifts to my family and then I taught in my church and now share even with those I may never meet this side of eternity.
As for the next part, why was I in my childhood home? Who was the woman at the door and the man and the child?
Possibly the interpretation here is the ministry that God has called me into now. I minister to children who are toddler to teens. We are living in a day where you can see the faces of distraught parents everywhere… I think we have to remember how important these years are in our children’s lives and memory. I remember everything about the house I grew up in. I remember the furniture, the carpet, the doors, the kitchen rail, the laundry room, the fireplace, but most importantly I remember I was loved. I remember it was home. I remember I always felt safe. My foundation for the rest of my life was laid in the years I lived in that house.
Why was it now mine and my husbands home?
Possibly because it was there that I learned what a marriage was supposed to look like. It was there that I learned this is the kind of marriage I want to have one day… and well God has granted my heart’s desire. I have that marriage. I have that marriage because my husband and I held on to truth, and to love, and to hope. We choose to live in forgiveness and grace. So now today, my husband and I are trying to lay a similar foundation in our own daughters lives…
A home is a school whether you homeschool or not.
The past sins video? Well that was self interpreted and obvious. Get the behind me Satan. You have no power over me and my past failures will never keep me from my present joy and future victories because my Redeemer lives!
For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh,
for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh,
but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses.
We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing
raised up against the knowledge of God,
and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,
and we are ready to punish all disobedience,
whenever your obedience is complete.
2 Corinthians 10:3-6
God has directed my heart to studying up on prayer and spiritual warfare… He has done so and I am obeying. I believe our nation and our church has progressed to where it is because we have forgotten we are at war. We have forgotten in this blessed land of the free that a spiritual battle wages against our minds. We have forgotten that we are still in the evil day…
Sadly many of us have left our armor lying on the floor. We have decided that we will be just fine without it. We have decided that we can fill our minds with csi miami, pretty little liars, and spongebob square pants. We can play halo and fantasy football. We have actually decided that we can fill our minds through our eyes and ears with sin of all sorts for our own entertainment purposes and actually expect it not to affect our souls.
When the salt loses its saltiness it is good for nothing…
Christian we have the mind of Christ. So of course Satan is after our mind. He wants to build a fortress of lies and accusations in our mind. He knows that if he can inflict a head wound, it can be fatal. When the head is sick, weak, confused, or distracted it affects the whole body.
We must put on the helmet of salvation. We must protect our mind! We must not be passive in this area of our life. WE MUST BE AGGRESSIVE AND DECISIVE!
He put on righteousness like a breastplate, And a helmet of salvation on His head; And He put on garments of vengeance for clothing And wrapped Himself with zeal as a mantle.
Isaiah 59:17
And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION,
and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
Ephesians 6:17
But since we are of the day, let us be sober,
having put on the breastplate of faith and love,
and as a helmet, the hope of salvation.
1 Thessalonians 5:8
When we look at the description of the last days that our God gives us in His Word it all points to social and mental digression…
But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money,boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.For among them are those who enter into households and captivate weak women weighed down with sins, led on by various impulses, always learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so these men also oppose the truth, men of depraved mind, rejected in regard to the faith. But they will not make further progress; for their folly will be obvious to all, just as Jannes’s and Jambres’s folly was also.
2 Timothy 3:1-9
I am currently teaching through the book of Revelation and studying with Kay Arthur through the book of Ephesians and my extracurricular reading has been on prayer and spiritual warfare. I am tired of seeing the enemy win battles in my own life. I am tired of him pinning me to the ground. I am tired of allowing him to almost convince me to quit writing, teaching, serving because I get caught up in emotional turmoil through Satan’s ability to use another’s battle to inflict a wound on me.
We must never forget that our battle is not against flesh and blood…
And we must also never forget that evil is also within our hearts.
But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders. These are the things which defile the man; but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile the man.
Matthew 15:18-20
It’s time we stop making excuses and address reality…
There is evil in this world and there is evil in our hearts… and no amount of man’s knowledge, education, or fantasy utopias are going to change that… only Christ can.
As my heart breaks for this mother… I wonder is she supplying her son with the only weapon that he has to stand against this battle in his mind?
I have a very dear friend whose son is struggling with a mental illness and what I know is that she is preparingher son and herself for the battles ahead.
She has let other believers know her sons struggles so that men and women of God can cover him and their family in prayer.
She has removed the things in his life that feed his flesh. Monitoring more closely the things that go in his ears, his eyes, as well his mouth.
She is teaching him how to recognize the enemy.
She is teaching him the Word of God, because she knows that only the knowledge of God and the love of Christ can defeat our flesh and only the Word of God and standing on faith can cast Satan and his demons out of our life and minds.
My friend knows that her sons victory is in Christ.
My friend has had many attacks, many judgments, many hurts brought against her. She could have many times chosen to grab her son and hide him away in their home and keep him and herself from the church simply because sometimes it hurts too much to experience the judgments and glances and whispers of man, whether they be real or assumed… but my friend has chosen to believe God. She has chosen to prove the Word by her faith.
And guess what her son is watching.
And so am I.
Her obedience to the Word will bear fruit in her son… and her courage will bear fruit in those who are watching her stand.
But the lovingkindness of the Lord
is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, And His righteousness to children’s children, To those who keep His covenant And remember His precepts to do them.
Psalm 103:17-18
In the fear of the LORD there is strong confidence,
And his children will have refuge.
Proverbs 14:26
As our nation continues to wonder why… and how… what happened at Newton can happen… it is quite simple… apart from Christ that shooter could have been any of us. He was not some rare monster that popped up on the earth.
While in Poland, standing within the Lodz ghetto beside a railcar that carried Jews from there homes to concentration/death camps one of the survivors shared with us how these men who did this were not monsters, they were men. To say they were monsters was wrong. To say they were monsters removed the reality that this could happen again and it removed their responsibility. This was evil done by evil men who chose to do evil.
Precious one, we are depraved evil hearted people living in a world ruled by the evil one… We are an arrogant prideful people living in a world ruled by the one who was so filled with arrogance and pride that he actually attempted to set himself up above the Most High God. We are hopeless, helpless, and godless apart from Christ and there is no limit to our madness when we stand opening stand against our Creator in our grumbling rebellion. It doesn’t matter how good we make our outside environment if we don’t deal with our heart and mind then our evil deeds will abound… and the only One who can deal with our heart and minds is Christ.
There is only one way to overcome evil, whether it be within us or outside of us and that is by faith.
For whatever is born of God overcomes the world;
and this is the victory that has overcome the world—
our faith.
1 John 5:4
Faith is simply believing God.
In hope against hope he believed, so that he might become a father of many nations according to that which had been spoken, “So shall your descendants be.” Without becoming weak in faith he contemplated his own body, now as good as dead since he was about a hundred years old, and the deadness of Sarah’s womb;yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform.
Romans 4:18-21
We have a choice ever day, with every thought… who will we believe?
Will we believe God?
And precious one, how can you recognize His voice if you do not know His Word? God does not move us with emotion, He moves us with Truth.
In these last days, in our increased “knowledge” and day of technology, Satan will be full force frontal attack on our minds. He is raising up every speculation he can up against the knowledge of God and he is throwing them full force up against our minds.
I love what Kay said in one of her teachings in Ephesians 6-Frisk every thought with Philippians 4:8, if it doesn’t line up, then reject it.
It is time we recognize that we are in a battle. Their is a spiritual realm and we are at war with the enemy. Put a name on the lie and send it to hell!
God, all I can assume is that I have a spirit of immorality coming against me. And God I don’t want that.” now listen to me very carefully, “God this is your body, this is your body, you redeemed it. This is your mind, you have given me the mind of Jesus Christ. And God, I am standing against the enemy, in the name of Jesus Christ and by the blood of Jesus Christ I command all these spirits, any spirit of immorality to be gone from me. You have no place here. This body has been redeemed by Jesus Christ. And I want the Holy Spirit to fill every nook and cranny. And so I command you in the authority that is mine in Christ Jesus. [“Greater is he that’s in me than he that’s in the world.”] ~ Kay Arthur
If there is a spirit of immorality… then could there be other spirits as well?
Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Galatians 5:19-21
If it is not of God it is either our flesh or Satan… if it is our flesh you better believe that Satan is right there cheering our flesh on… he wants you to be controlled by your flesh because then he can control you because he knows your flesh well. He’s been devouring it for thousands of years.
Either we believe God or we do not.
Our desires, our dispositions, our temptations, our imaginations, are NOT to control us.
Only the love of Christ!
For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
Honor your father and mother
(which is the first commandment with a promise),
so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger,
but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:1-4
I was studying in Ephesians again this morning with Kay Arthur and this mornings lesson began with Ephesians 6:1-4. She shared how through these verses and as we look at other verses throughout Scripture it is quite clear that God has placed the responsibility of rearing children on the father… the head of the household. The Scripture is clearly addressed to the Father.
I was blessed to be raised by a man who was and is a teaching father. He managed to work at least two jobs my whole childhood and still managed to coach me in softball and basketball. He never shirked his responsibilities as head of the household. We always knew he was boss. He backed up my mother and demanded that we respected and honored her at all times and she in turn always backed the decisions of my father. They were on the same team… even when we three girls backed them into a tough spot… if they disagreed they did it in private not in front of us. They would make changes in private and would reveal any changes to discipline as a united front. They were one and we girls knew it.
My girls are blessed to be raised by such a father as well… He is a teaching father too. He works twelve hour swing shifts but just like my father was, if he is not at work providing for his family he is with is family. He doesn’t miss the opportunities to teach his children and to be there as a pillar of support in there lives… I don’t know if they realize that now… but one day they will.
He has been there since their beginning…
He has worked off a twelve hour night shift and instead of heading home for bed he has stood outside in 100 degree southern heat to fix hair before he watches his middle daughter put on an archery show…
and to hold his youngest daughter up high so she can see over the crowd…
or to watch her twirl around in play while she is all dolled up in her ballerina outfit…
He’s been there to teach them how to shoot and how to hunt…
He’s there to celebrate with them in all there accomplishments.
Whether it be a softball tournament…
or to lead his daughter out, looking so very handsome, dressed in his first tux at her Senior Prom…
He is there to provide them instruction and is not afraid to get down on their level, eye to eye, heart to heart, in order to make sure they understand what he is trying to teach them…
and well he’s there to give that “daddy look” when they hit those years when they think know more and better than him…
and he is always a part of their life to offer solid practical advice…
He is there to help them conquer fears and reach new heights and push them and encourage them to accomplish their dreams…
He is a man that does not just provide his children with fish…
but he teaches them how to fish so that they might be able to teach others…
and he is even there to teach them how to cook the fish 🙂
He is a man that is not afraid to be silly with his kids…
and he is a man who takes the opportunity to take hold of their hands and kick off his shows and walk with them a while…
You can tell by the way his girls look at him that he is there hero…
Not only has he been there in these practical ways, but he has been there to take them to church, to encourage them to pray, to support them as they study the Word of God for themselves. He has been there to not just tell them to help others but he has shown them. He doesn’t sugar coat the truth and he doesn’t pretend something is right when he knows it is not. He keeps his word even when its hard and hurts.
So in a day, in a society, in a culture, where fathers are demoralized and made a joke in media, and where so many children live in fatherless homes… I hope and pray my girls always understand how very blessed they are to have this man in their life. I thank God for him.
If you are father and you are reading this… know that every effort matters.
I remember well the lessons I learned with my father. I remember well his words of encouragement. I remember well the things he has taught me. I remember well the things he showed me. He didn’t just tell me how to shoot a basketball, he showed me. He didn’t just tell me to mow the yard, he showed me. He didn’t just tell me how to keep a checkbook, he showed me.
My father didn’t just tell me that he loved me, he showed me.
So I am thankful for godly fathers. Fathers that love their children with a sacrificial love. Fathers that are willing to make a hands on investment in the lives of their children. Fathers that train their children up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord…
My girls know today that I love the Lord. They jokingly and lovingly call me a “Jesus freak”. As far as they knew I had always loved God and loved Jesus and loved the church and studied and taught the Word of God… they had never known me not to.
In the back of my mind I have always dreaded the day that my children would learn of who I once was…
However the day I dreaded came.
When riding home with my youngest child one day, just me and her in the car, our conversation turned to my past… I can’t remember how… this happened a couple of months ago… through the conversation my child realized that I was 24 years old before I began to walk with the Lord.
My precious eight year old grabbed my hand and tears began to roll down her face as the thought of all the years I missed with the Jesus that she loves so very much hit her… and even though I did not discuss with her all the many mistakes and horrible choices I made during these Christ-less years she knows enough about the difference of lifestyles between those who love God and those who do not, that instinctively she knew more than I had to tell her…
So as her little heart broke over my sin… my heart broke all over again.
She grabbed my hand and her eyes teared up and I could see her disappointment in me… and I could see her tears begin to fall and she turned her face away from me and to the window… but she never let go of my hand.
I asked her why she was crying… even though I knew… but I knew she needed to tell me. She didn’t want to… I could tell she didn’t want to say anything to hurt me, she said, “It makes me sad that you didn’t know Jesus until you were 24 and I know Him already…“
I then explained to her that I wish I had known Him when I was her age to… but I know Him now… and I have known Him for over ten years now… and I encouraged her to keep walking with Him and to never walk away from Him.
This is why I am so passionate about learning the Word and about sharing the Word and the testimony of Jesus Christ.
Please…
Please…
Please… do not think that the choices you are making today will not affect the hearts of your children tomorrow… even the children you have yet to have. I will never forget the look on her face when the reality of my past disobedience to God hit her… and it wasn’t my sins… it was the loss of the time of the relationship with my Jesus who she knows I so love that her broke her heart… and precious one this is what breaks God’s heart.
It’s not our sins… it’s the fact that our sins separate us from Him.
It’s the separation. The broken relationship that breaks His heart.
He doesn’t want you to lose a moment of fellowship with Him… precious one stop and think about your choices… your walk… and know that someone’s heart is always breaking over your sin.
As for me, I shall behold Your face in righteousness; I will be satisfied with Your likeness when I awake.
Psalm 17:15
I am currently reading a book by Charles Stanley, Handle With Prayer. It has been an amazing teaching tool. I don’t think we can ever stop growing in the area of prayer. I know that I am always needing growth in that area. I can easily get lazy here and just choose to “rest in God’s sovereignty” in an “I know I could work but it’s so much easier to do nothing and let the government send me a check” kinda way.
Sometimes its easier to just pray, “LORD let Your will be done. In Jesus’ name. Amen” And then just accept that whatever happened was His will to begin with and that was that… but what if that was not that? Yes, I believe in God’s sovereignty. Yes, I believe His will is always accomplished. Yes, I believe no thing and no one can stop His purpose, but what if I just blew an opportunity to be a part of it?
I must confess… my prayer life has felt a bit empty here lately… which I know now is one of the reasons I have felt so defeated and tired and scattered and lost and so spinning in circles-ish and chasing my tale-ish.
He humbled you and let you be hungry,
and fed you with manna which you did not know,
nor did your fathers know,
that He might make you understand that man does not live by bread alone,
but man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of the LORD.
Deuteronomy 8:3
Yes, He did it.
One of the quotes in the book by Charles Stanley was, “Instead of complaining, we need to ask God why we are defeated; then we should be quiet and listen”
I have been guilty of doing a lot of complaining to God about why I feel this weight on me… but I have not stopped to find out why He has allowed it. I have read Scriptures and promises that have held me up during it. I have searched Scriptures to help me rebuke it. I have searched out my heart for sin and confessed it… but I have yet to ask why God has allowed it.
Even defeat has a purpose.
I know there is something that God is teaching me, that God is asking of me, but I can’t put my finger on it quite yet. I don’t know if the burden I carry is mine, or if it is for someone else…
When they led Him away, they seized a man, Simon of Cyrene,
coming in from the country,
and placed on him the cross to carry behind Jesus.
Luke 23:26
I just know that some burdens are an honor to carry…
And some burdens were never meant to be carried by us at all…
Say, therefore, to the sons of Israel,
‘ I am the LORD,
and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians,
and I will deliver you from their bondage.
I will also redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great judgments.
Exodus 6:6
As I type this out now… I seek His face. One of the things also quoted by Stanley in this book, is that if something keeps coming up over and over in your mind… that it is from God… even if it is from your past.
So many times when our past comes up to haunt us we automatically rebuke it as condemnation from Satan… but maybe, just maybe, we need to ask ourselves, we need to ask God… why this thing?
Why can Satan still use this against me?
How can this still be used by him to bring me condemnation?
There are things that Satan tries to throw up at me… and well it doesn’t hurt. It only causes me to praise and thank my Jesus… but there are others that well… still hurt.
Maybe they hurt because God is not through with that in me. Maybe I need to do something about that area… I may be forgiven, but have I forgiven?
Charles Stanley shares in his book that even though we are forgiven… many times there is restitution still to be made. If something keeps coming up over and over and over… it is indeed from God. If it from God then it is time to stop. Be still. And listen. It is time to find out why and what God wants you to do about it. Because He does indeed want you to do something… but you have to let Him tell you and then you have to obey Him.
One thing that has been coming up over and over again with me is whether or not I should keep my Proven Path Ministries FB page. It keeps coming up. So today I am taking action. This will be my last post on this FB page. I am deleting it. All those who have “liked” it are welcome to subscribe to my personal FB page… but this page I will be deleting in obedience to my God.
The writing and teachings of Nicole Love Halbrooks Vaughn
