Yesterday morning I red an article, We are going to home school our kids, but that’s only because we hate education. I posted this article on my personal FB page. Then I began to scroll through and read the response comments on the post… this is where my blood pressure began to rise… what irritated me was two comments that are repeated over and over and over and over and over by parents.
1) I don’t have the patiences with my own kids
2) I turned out just fine(okay)/my kids turned out just fine(okay)
My personal FB page posted emotional response to these comments after I deleted much of it…
I am sorry, but I don’t want my kids to just “turn out okay” I want them to be excellent! I am sorry, but if I don’t have “the patience” to teach my own children… then I need to get on my face before God and repent and find out why. Thank God in heaven that He never looked at me said “I don’t have the patience to teach you”. Patience is learned and it is the fruit of the Spirit. I teach my children at home and I struggle, I take many deep breathes, I rely on the promises of God minute by minute… I just simply believe that if I can’t learn enough patience to teach my own kids or learn enough love to at least like my own children then I have a serious spiritual problem and it needs addressed NOW.
For some reason there were those that found this offensive…
Notice this is all addressed to myself. This “rant” as I called it… is all things that I myself had to address in myself as a parent. Believe it or not patience is not natural to me, and it especially was not natural with my children… God had to teach it too me. And yes, the problem was not my children… the problem was me. The problem was my own spiritual immaturity… is my own spiritual immaturity. Trust me, I have far from arrived.
I had to get on my face before God and repent of how I responded to my children. I had to ask God why did I lack so much patience with them? If you were to pick up my journals and read them, you would see over and over again where I had cried out, God help me… I need more patience! You don’t even have to find my journals. my goodness, the world can read them here: He’s Still Working On Me, The Angry Voice, Ladies!
Do you know what His answer was.
You don’t need more patience… you need more of Me, you just need more knowledge of My Word, you just need to keep growing, keep trusting, keep learning, keep stepping out in faith believing My Word… and all these things will be added to you.
God taught me to stop when I was in the midst of an overwhelming situation and just breathe and I would pray, God I need more of Your Holy Spirit, more of You, more of Your grace… and in that moment I would meditate on
If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?
Luke 11:13
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He who has received His testimony has set his seal to this, that God is true. For He whom God has sent speaks the words of God; for He gives the Spirit without measure.
John 3:33-34
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Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us Romans 5:1-5
Moms and Dads, we have to teach our children and shame on us if we use our own lack of patience as an excuse not too. I am not saying everyone should homeschool. I am saying that loving our kids is mandatory and desiring their excellence is mandatory… teaching them is mandatory.
You, however, continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them, and that from childhood you have known the sacred writings which are able to give you the wisdom that leads to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness;
2 Timothy 3:14-16
Now, who is the “whom” in this passage of Scripture?
For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well.
2 Timothy 1:5
He learned them from his mother… since childhood.
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Deuteronomy 6:5-9
We cannot be called children of God and think that we can look at God and say, well I just did not have the patience to teach my own kids, so I left that to someone else to do. WE CAN’T. It simply doesn’t work that way. If we don’t have enough patience to teach and train our own children we have to come before God and find out why… and be willing to receive what He says and start taking the steps we need to take to allow His Spirit to produce His fruit in us.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
Galatians 5:22-23
Notice the fruit is singular, it’s not fruits of the Spirit, but fruit of the Spirit. Have you ever wondered why fruit? In various places in the Scripture the Word of God compares Christ to a vine. So let’s just look at the grape for our example. Why don’t you go ahead and read this article on growing grapes.
Now lets do some comparing. The article said: When you plant your grapevine in the spring, it’s just a small set of shoots. It can grow relatively quickly in the first year, developing a thick trunk and side canes that require training along a trellis, fence or wire system. But it’s not ready to produce grapes.
When we first receive Jesus as our Saviour, He saves us and puts His Spirit within us, we and those around us usually see a change in us. There is this quick excitement and fire in us and all of a sudden out of nowhere we are excited about God… but as we walk in this new life we find that we still lack in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control part… oh we may know better now… but the carrying out of it, the bearing the fruit of it, we find difficult. That’s because we are still to immature.
Remember the article began with: Your backyard grapevine can take up to three years to produce viable grapes, but that timeline is based on several environmental factors as well as how you care for the plant. Sunlight and well-drained soil are key to grape production, as is proper pruning.
In our new life, God has to first begin the pruning… Pruning is one of the most important factors in grape production. Grapes develop only on new growth, which sprouts from 1-year-old wood. This is one reason why most vines don’t produce grapes in their second year — the whole plant is only 1 year old, so its main job is support instead of grapes.
During the first years of our salvation God is cultivating in us a foundation of support for the fruit He wants to produce in us. He has to prune away all that is of our old nature, His fruit doesn’t come from our old talents or old personality… His fruit comes from Him. He has to prune on us, so that we learn the difference… or we would become arrogant and think it was all us… and not simply a result of His Spirit in us, working through and out of us.
To grow and bear the fruit of the Spirit we have to spend time in the SON: Without the necessary sunlight, grapes won’t develop properly, regardless of the vine’s age. Grapevines can grow in partial shade, but they are unlikely to produce much fruit unless they get a significant amount of sun — up to seven or eight hours per day.
How much time do you spend soaking in the Word of God? The Son is the Word made flesh… No SonLight… no Fruit… Little SonLight… little fruit. It’s that simple. Are you willing to spend 7 to 8 hours a day soaking in the Word of God? Imagine the growth that could take place within you if He was your mediation… how much time do you spend on other things that could be spent in the Son?
The article also shared, This is also why neglected vines don’t produce many grapes. The upper level of leaves often shades lower levels, keeping the leaves from absorbing the necessary sunlight to help the plant develop fruit
I believe this could be a warning to those who choose to lord their positions of authority over other believers, instead of getting out of the way and helping them get in the Son for themselves.
The article shared that you can’t use your eyes to tell you when the grapes are ready.
You see you can’t look at yourself or anyone else and tell the level of their spiritual maturity… only the inside can reveal that… and the only way to get to the inside is to taste it for yourself. You have to break the outside so that what is on the inside can burst forth… so sometimes God has to put us in situations so that we can see what is going on inside of us… so we can see how “ripe” or spiritually mature we are… and by the way our kids and our spouse and our family and those within our church, and those we work with or go to school with or drive down the road with… are all great at opening our eyes to our lack of spiritual maturity. Whenever we think we are big enough to get off the Vine, God is real quick to remind us… we are so not ready!
My favorite part of the article was at the end: Each year can be different, so don’t use the previous year’s harvest date by default. For example, one summer might be sunny with little cloud cover, while the next is overcast nearly every day. Because grapes need sun to ripen properly, it takes longer in years with more cloudy days.
Be encouraged moms and dads… and all believers. There will be years of great fruit bearing… but there will also be cloudy seasons when growth is slow and little fruit is evident and when this happens, when you realize this is what is happening… RUN TO THE SON!
The article began with If you’ve neglected an older grapevine, it could stop producing until it gets some attention from you.
Maybe you became a believer as a child… and maybe its been a while since you have been in the Word… maybe you have never really ever been in the Word… maybe you have realized that love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control are simply not things that hang on you or bear from you… with your kids, with your spouse, with others, with even yourself. If you know that you know that you know that you are indeed in the Vine, then you were created to bear fruit, the fruit of the Spirit… its just that you have neglected the Vine… if that’s you… it’s time to call on the Vinedresser (John 15).
Believe me, God does not just want you or your kids to just turn out okay or just fine…
“You are altogether beautiful, my darling,
And there is no blemish in you.
Song of Solomon 4:7
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For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works
Psalm 139:13-14
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But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; for you once were not a people, but now you are the people of God
1 Peter 2:9-10
So my friend if it patience that you feel you lack in order to have the ability to teach your own children… know that God is here to supply especially that and all things that you need…
But I have received everything in full and have an abundance; I am amply supplied, having received from Epaphroditus what you have sent, a fragrant aroma, an acceptable sacrifice, well-pleasing to God. And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Now to our God and Father be the glory forever and ever. Amen.
Philippians 4:18-20
Notice in this verse that God also used the church to help meet the needs of Paul… this brings us to Titus 2… and Hebrews 10:25… and Galatians 6:2. I encourage you to look those up for yourself…
