Last Sunday I had the opportunity to talk to a sweet new friend. The conversation was born out of shared priorities. The priority of being the ones to parent our children and the priority of following Christ in obedience. This lovely new friend had children who were just now starting school and younger and I am here on the other end. I have crossed over to the other side where I have a child already married and two more that are heading into the preparations for graduating credits and entering college.
This new friend and I discussed how it really didn’t matter whether you homeschooled or public schooled or private schooled or how bad the school system was or how great it was… if you were willing to work hard you would and could succeed.
What it always boils down to is what is being invested into the heart of your child at home. You may not be able to change the school system, but you can change you.
Recently this video began circulating through social media. It says a lot…
I have just completed a study in the book of Titus. The second chapter of Titus is full of instructions to those who profess to be believers. Paul is very clear that if you do indeed belong to Christ, then these following characteristics should belong to you or at the very least be in the process of being developed in you.
Older men are to be temperate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith, in love, in perseverance.
Titus 2:2
temperate néphalios: clear-minded, free from life-dominating influences.
dignified semnos: weighty, deeply respected because viewed as majestic
sensible sóphrón: sound, safe “inner outlook” which regulates outward behavior, a man who does not command himself, but rather is commanded by God‘
sound hugiainó: in good health; right, reasonable, sound, pure, uncorrupted
in faith pistis: belief, trust, confidence; fidelity, faithfulness
in love agapé: divine love, embracing God’s will (choosing His choices) and obeying them through His power,”loving” is always, defined by God – a “discriminating affection which involves choice and selection“
perseverance hupomoné: properly, remaining under, endurance; steadfastness, especially as God enables the believer to “remain (endure) under” the challenges He allots in life, a remaining behind, a patient enduring
Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
Titus 2:3-5
Likewise urge the young men to be sensible
Titus 2:6
Did you notice the more detail given to the women? Older women are to likewise have the same character as the older men, but there is more.
Older women are not to be malicious gossips. The Greek word used here is diabolos and it means slanderous, a false accuser; unjustly criticizing to hurt (malign) and condemn to sever a relationship, backbiter. It’s the same word that we use for the Devil. Just let that sink in for a moment…
Have you ever met a devil in the church?
Older women are not to be a devil in the church. They are meant to be there to teach what is good. They are meant to be there to be someone that a younger woman can safely confide in and receive good sound biblical counsel from.
Sadly I think we have lost this in many of our churches. We have so segregated our churches for what we think are relationship building purposes that what we have instituted is the blind leading the blind and we have watched our families fall into the pits.
Younger men need older men to watch and learn from and younger women need older women to teach them and to listen to their frustrations with understanding and calmness. The older women are to teach the younger women what is good. They are to encourage the younger women.
The word encourage here in the Greek is sóphronizó and it means being radically-moderate, i.e. living as God defines true balance,(literally “living in divine moderation“) is moving in the “bigger picture” transforming someone to be “radically-balanced” according to the Lord’s will. This radical-moderation requires a complete perspective that is eclectic, combining the legitimate extremities of truth from both sides of a matter.
Now younger women, I ask you, how important is it that you have someone there to help you see BOTH sides of an issue when it comes to your husband? How easy is that in the first years of marriage? Shoot, the first decade of marriage! How much of a difference would it have made in your marriage had you had someone who was willing to teach you how to be balanced and how to see both sides, instead of just agreeing with you and even fueling you on? I was blessed to have parents and other godly women in my life that were willing to sit me down and help me see both sides. This made all the difference in our marriage.
The older women are to be there to encourage us how to love our husbands. The word love here in the Greek is philandros and it means loving friend, the special affection of a woman for her life-time mate (husband), embracing him as her “calling” (stewardship) from God.
Oh precious woman of God, has it ever occurred to you that your husband is your calling from God? First and foremost he is your calling. To show the love of Christ to him, to build him up and edify him, to be his friend as Christ is yours. This my dear is a very great challenge in our day. The enemy has set us up to fail this one and to even do so as we use the excuse of serving others in the ministries of our church. I know this one well.
The older women are to encourage us to love our children. The word love here is philoteknos and it means to be fond of… Yes young mother holding that sweet precious bundle of joy, there will come a day when you will need someone to help you be fond of that not so sweet anymore child! The possibility of our lack of natural affection to our very own flesh and blood has become painfully evident in this day of ours as mother after mother chooses boyfriends and drugs and careers over their children.
The older women are to teach the younger women to be sensible, pure, and workers at home. That phrase “workers at home” means more than you think, so please do not skim over it with an antagonistic feminist dismissal. The Greek word for this phrase is oikourgos and it means guard of the home.
Women of God we are to be the guard over our house. We have been designated by God to stand with our sword wielded and with our trumpet of alarm ready to sound. We are to be the ones who know not just the doctor appointments and school schedule but the one who knows what is going on in the spirit realm of our home. We are to be teaching our children the Word of God and teaching them how to live out the Word in prayer and in choices.
God has gifted women with an intuition into the hearts of their children and their husbands and He has called us to intercede on their behalf before His throne. He has called us to do so not just in prayer, but in practical action. This is not saying we cannot work outside the home, but if working outside the home causes us to neglect this calling then beloved I don’t care what we do and how much money we make and how many charities we give to, we are not in the will of God.
When we look at the book of Titus it’s pretty clear that the first fruits we are to bear as believers is in our own homes. If we are not bearing fruit in our homes, then any we portray to bear outside its walls, even within our community or church, is just for show. It’s the fruit of the Pharisee.
Beloved of God… what matters first is what you are investing in the lives of those in your home. This is your Jerusalem.
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After watching Kelly Clarkson’s performance on American Idol last night, I had to add this video clip to this post…
Home first. Always.