Daily Archives: July 12, 2011

Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries, Uncategorized

>Surrender

>I never knew surrender could be so free,
I never seen such meekness in majesty…
And now I sing freedom for all of my days,
it’s only by the power of the cross I’m raised…
The King of Glory rescued me…

I’ve had this song in my head for about a week now. I have noticed that I begin to sing it when I begin to try to take control of life again. Isn’t it mind-blowing how we can know beyond the shadow of any doubt how freeing surrendering into the sovereignty of God can be, yet we still find ourselves fighting it.

I know with all that I am and all that I ever hope to be that He is faithful.
I believe with all that I am and all that I ever hope to be that what He has spoken will come to pass.
I trust with all that I am and all that I ever hope to be that my past, present, and future are in His hands.

Yet still I constantly find myself in the same place as the father in Mark 9 as I come to God with my petition.

“But if You can do anything, take pity on us and help us!” And Jesus said to him, “‘If You can?’ All things are possible to him who believes.” Immediately the boy’s father cried out and said, “I do believe; help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:22-24)

Although my faith has moved past the “if You can” I still struggle with unbelief. Unbelief that I even deserve to have Him answer me with a yes to my request. I am fully sure of His ability. I know all things are possible with God. I know what He can do, it’s just the will do that I struggle with. So I too cry out, “I do believe; help my unbelief.”

So many times my prayer, (or more accurately called pout, or as I shared before whine), is “God I know You can do this if You want to, so why haven’t You done it? Is it me? Am I doing something wrong? I don’t understand?”

I can have a petition before my God, then out of the blue an idea will come to me on how to fix it… and then I will get irritated because my response to my thought is, “Well great… Yep that sounded all good and all, but since it popped into my head I know You are not going to do it that way. So just strike that as not gonna happen.”

So many times I come up with what I consider to be a brilliant plan and then I just pass it on up to the Creator of the Universe and ask Him to put His God stamp on it and call it good… you know, “Dear God could You please submit to my will… k… thanks”

So many times, God whispers let Me help you, and I put my hand in His face and say, “No, that’s alright God. I got it.”

I mean really, is that the kind of attitude to have before a holy God?
I would think probably not… so then comes the thanking Him for the promise 1 John 1:9 and then immediately putting it into action.

How I wish that I could just always remember that I am to trust.
I am to surrender.
I am to submit.
Not my will but Your will be done…

Jesus came that we may have life and freedom. For whom the Son has set free is free indeed. This freedom is meant to free us from the worries of this world, so that we might rest in our God and just focus on worshipping Him. Not that worries won’t come, but they are not to consume or control us. This sweet surrender of our life is a freedom like none other. It is freedom that is full of grace and truth and hope when we choose to rest in it. It is a surrender into the incomprehensible sovereignty of a Most Holy Creator God. It is a surrender to the unknown by faith in the One who is slowly revealing Himself to us because we could not handle Him any other way.

“The steadfast of mind You will keep in perfect peace, Because he trusts in You. “Trust in the LORD forever, For in GOD the LORD, we have an everlasting Rock.” (Isaiah 26:2-4)

I so look forward to the day that I will know as I have been known.
(1 Corin 13:12).

Until then I will keep praising and thanking Him for what He has allowed me to know and keep praying that He will continue to let me know Him more and more.


Confessions of a Christian Wife, Uncategorized

>Driving School Part 1

>I am home from my first 3 hour driving school class. It ended not so horrible…

I was fine for the drive down the mountain to class, was still good as I walked into the building. I was going to be a big girl. Then I turned the corner into the room. People! Lots of people. Standing in a line, well 2 lines actually. So I just jump in line and the woman in front of me informs this is the correct change line only. For once I was able to say, well I have correct change. So, whew, I do not have to change lines.

So now the butterflies are flopping as I stand there in this line among strangers and I am looking at the faces and the atmosphere in the room is one of ick. It’s not like a line at a concert or conference or sport ticket booth where everyone is excited and talking with each other (whether they know them or not) about how excited they are. It’s not even like waiting in the line at Wal-Mart or Target. It’s a line that no one wants to be in and no one wants to be seen in.
Then at this moment I am thinking about the great white throne judgment as people wait in line to pay their fine because they refused to accept Christ’s payment on their behalf…  Another moment where I am overwhelmed with the grace of my God.

So I finally make it to the front of the line and pay my class fee and then it’s time to find a seat. I have visions in my head of the day Forrest Gump got on the school bus the first time and heard “can’t sit here.” and “seats taken”. I scan the room and find an empty seat in the back and head to it with determination and turn to sit down and low and behold a face I recognize. So now the choice… pretend I did not see them and keep moving to another seat and hope they do not recognize that I was there… or stop and say hi and hope they offer me the seat next to them. I chose to stop and say hi and yes they did offer me the seat beside them.

So now we are filling out our information cards and then the panic comes that I will do it wrong and why yes I did… but it didn’t matter because I was called out in front of the entire room. So I am glad I did not try the duck and hide and head down approach earlier because my presence in that room was going to be made known.
The instructor asks, “do we have any level 2ers in here?” And my head goes down and my hand goes up… one of only three hands… and the others were in their part 2 phase. I was the only one here for part 1 of part 2. So he says “well ma’am let me see your paperwork. And you are filling out the wrong card. You need the blue one”. Now the instructor stands over me as I transfer my information to the right card and I almost forget how to sign my name.

Then this teenageish kid beside me goes “Whoa, what did you do to get level 2?!?”

Yeh…

Once the class finally got started it was actually quite informative. The instructor did not speak down to us and he tried to make it fun. During the course of the evening I learned some interesting facts. Here are some of them. Let me share my knowledge with you. After all these are highly paid for facts.

1) Alabama is ranked 5th in America for road rage fatalities
2) Alabama is ranked 2nd in America for fatality accidents per one thousand households
3) When you get pulled over and your licence is scanned the officer will know if you have traveled down I-10 because it is lined with cameras that constantly send info of tags to the government
4) Failure to yield to the right of way is the number one cause of accidents containing fatalities
5) One person every 8 hours and 15 minutes is killed in an automobile accident
6) Police officers for the first time in history are concerned for their jobs and ticket writing will increase in order for them to prove their worth to the county and state so drive carefully

I am thankful that driving school part 1 is now behind me… paying for our sin is just no fun at all.