Children's Ministry, Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries

Praying for Our Children (Where is Tall Man)

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We are still singing our Thumbkin song… well I am anyway… not sure how many of you are still here with me 😉

Yesterday we looked at how Mr Pointer can remind us to pray that God would give our children ears and hearts that listen to His Word. We also saw how important it is that we teach them how to learn to listen to God and to show them by doing so ourselves.

We ended our post yesterday with asking “Where is Tall Man?”

Now in our day and age, Mr Tall Man has been given a bad rap. I made printouts to give to the ladies that attended the Mother Child Tea and I wanted to add a little cartoon like picture to each prayer page… and well let’s say finding an appropriate picture for Tall Man was difficult to say the least. I had to just go with a full hand print.

Take a look at your hand. Tall Man gets his name from the fact that he stands taller than all the other fingers on your hand. He stands taller than the other fingers but not in the sense that he looks down on the rest of them, but just tall enough to be distinct in his identity.

As you take notice of your tall man… pray that your children will stand tall in this present day. Pray that they would stand tall enough to be noticed… but not so tall that they are looking down on others… but tall enough that they are seen as distinct in their identity in Christ… just like salt and light.

“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden; nor does anyone light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on the lampstand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven. 

Matthew 5:13-16

Oh how we need salt and light in this day!

I am currently reading a book on revival that will be released next month. In this book as the author discusses revival leaders he takes notice of an emotion expressed by God in the book of Isaiah. In Isaiah 59:15-16 we read…

Yes, truth is lacking;
And he who turns aside from evil makes himself a prey.
Now the Lord saw,
And it was displeasing in His sight that there was no justice.
And He saw that there was no man,
And was astonished that there was no one to intercede;
Then His own arm brought salvation to Him,
And His righteousness upheld Him.

The word for astonished in the Hebrew is shamem and it means to be appalled, make amazed, to stun… This is the only time in Scripture that we have recorded that God expresses Himself as being appalled, amazed, stunned. You know this emotion I am sure… this is that emotion that usually has your mouth gapped open and your brows furrowed in that shocked and angered all at the time kind of way. And what causes God to express this emotion?

NO. TALL. MAN.

No one to stand up for truth and pray. No one to intercede for others. No one standing tall and firm and above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation (Philippians 2:15). Instead truth had stumbled in the streets (Isaiah 59:14) and is laying down in all the spit out gum, run over opossums, thrown out McD’s trash bags, broken asphalt, oil splatters, and mud holes.

Tall Man should never be afraid of getting dirty, but he can’t enjoy wollaring in it.

Do not rejoice over me, O my enemy.
Though I fall I will rise;
Though I dwell in darkness, the Lord is a light for me.

Micah 7:8

Oh Momma pray!

Pray that your children will stand tall. Pray that they will remember whose they are and for what they have been called. Pray that they are not negligent. Pray that they will be chosen (John 15:16) and pray that will remember always that they have been chosen to stand and to minister to the Lord and for the Lord.

My sons, do not be negligent now, for the Lord has chosen you to stand before Him, to minister to Him, and to be His ministers and burn incense.

2 Chronicles 29:11

Pray that they will stand faithfully and continuously.

Then the lookout called, “O Lord, I stand continually by day on the watchtower, And I am stationed every night at my guard post.”

Isaiah 21:8

Pray that they will be men and women of high esteem and integrity regardless of what authority is over them. Pray that no matter what turn the governing authorities take they will remember that their first allegiance is always to their God.

He said to me, “O Daniel, man of high esteem, understand the words that I am about to tell you and stand upright, for I have now been sent to you.” And when he had spoken this word to me, I stood up trembling.

Daniel 10:11

Pray that no matter what temptations face them in this life, whether they be at work, in the church, or in the comfort and privacy of their own homes that they would remain alert and not be deceived. Pray that they would remain strong in the face of difficulties and distractions… and that they would maintain their distinction of different.

Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.

1 Corinthians 16:13

Pray Mom (and Dad) that God would teach you how to raise children that are “Tall Man” out in the real world… not just youth group super stars… not just, as Swindoll says, Sunday-go-to-meetin’ silver saints,

It’s easy to kid ourselves. So easy. The Christian must guard against self-deception. We can begin to consider ourselves martyrs because we are in church twice on Sunday—really sacrificing by investing a few hours on the “day of rest.” 

Listen, my friend, being among the saints is no sacrifice… it’s a brief, choice privilege. 

The cost factor occurs on Monday or Tuesday… and during the rest of the week. That’s when we’re “melted down and put into circulation.” That’s when they go for the jugular. And it is remarkable how that monotonous workweek test discolors many a silver saint.

“Sunday religion” may seem sufficient, but that’s far from the truth.

It’s the acid grind that takes the toll. Maybe that explains why words of the venerable prophet touch a nerve:

If you have raced with men on foot
and they have worn you out,
how can you compete with horses?
If you stumble in safe country,
how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?
(Jeremiah 12:5 NIV)

Doing battle in the steaming jungle calls for shock troops in super shape. No rhinestone cowboys can cut it among the swamps and insects of the gross world system. Sunday-go-to-meetin’ silver saints in shining armor are simply out of circulation if that’s the limit to their faith. Waging wilderness warfare calls for sweat… energy… keen strategy… determination… a good supply of ammunition… willingness to fight… refusal to surrender, even with the elephants tromping on your air hose.

And that is why we must be melted! It’s all part of being “in circulation.” Those who successfully wage war with silent heroism under relentless secular pressure—ah, they are the saints who know what it means to be melted.

(Also check out Act 5:20, Ephesians 6:10-18, 2 Thessalonians 2:15, 1 Peter 5:12 for Scriptures to pray over your children as you pray for them to stand tall, not just today, for all their lives)

Hmmmm….. now where are we?

Ahhhh….

Where is Ring Man? Where is Ring Man? 

 

 

Children's Ministry, Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries

Praying For Our Children (Where is Pointer)

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The Spirit and the bride say, “Come.”

And let the one who hears say, “Come.”

Revelation 22:17

In my previous post, Praying for Our Children we found Thumbkin and we ended our prayer outline with asking, “Where is Pointer?“

Hold your hand up and take a look at that there Pointer. Now I don’t know about you, but for some reason something within me deeply feels that if I use this very finger and direct it intently at the one I am speaking and giving instructions to, it will somehow help my words to penetrate through a thick skull and stick into their brain so that they will actually be heard and observed.

You know… something like this:

 

Now as we looked at Thumbkin we talked about how important it is to not try and keep our children under our thumb, but to place them under God’s. We saw that we needed to impress His words on them and not our own… As we look at Pointer we must carry that same concept.

When you use that pointer finger to deliver instructions to your children remember to pray that they would have ears to hear and heart to heed the instructions of God. Our children’s willingness to listen to and obey their Heavenly Father is crucial.

Mom this must begin with you listening. This must begin with you obeying. If your children watch you ignore the Word of God and openly and unabashedly disregard His clear and simple instructions for life and holiness, then they are not going to heed His instructions either… or yours for that matter.

They might patronize you in your presence and entertain you with feigned obedience, but the moment you walk away or turn around or they are old enough to step into life without you, it’s as though you never spoke a word. They will do just as the people of Israel did in the days of the judges…

In those days there was no king in Israel; everyone did what was right in his own eyes.

Judges 21:25

If God had of wanted us to do what is right in our own eyes, He would not have given us His Word or recorded His law, precepts, statutes, and commands for us. There is no greater danger to a soul than to think we can do what is right in our own eyes… I mean think about it. That’s how this whole fallen mess got started in the first place. Adam and Eve wanted to use their own eyes to decide for themselves what was good and what was evil… and look where it got them. Look where it got their children.

Mom if you are making choices in your life and in your children’s life that is simply doing what is right in your own eyes and according to your own understanding… you are walking on very shaky ground… earthquaking ground.

Sincerity can never replace obedience and good intentions are never as good as following through with action. The, well I just thought’s, simply don’t cut it when eternity is at stake.

God gave us His commandments for our instruction.

Now the Lord said to Moses, “Come up to Me on the mountain and remain there, and I will give you the stone tablets with the law and the commandment which I have written for their instruction.”

Exodus 24:12

They are for us to hear and heed.

Oh that we would just listen. 

It was the finger of God that wrote out the commandments in stone for Moses (Exodus 31:18). I can’t help but imagine it was His Pointer.

As a woman of God, a mother to my children, and a teacher of the Scriptures to whoever will give me the opportunity, my prayer for myself, for them, and for all who hear… is that His Word would be received.

Please receive instruction from His mouth and establish His words in your heart.

Job 22:22

Let your prayer, dear mother, be that God Himself would open the ears of your children and seal His Word upon their hearts…

Then He opens the ears of men, and seals their instruction

Job 33:16

Take note from the fallen parents in Scriptures… God recorded their messes so that we could learn from them (Romans 15:4). Solomon knew well the pain of not listening. He knew how easily the things of this world can distract, how effectively the enemy of our souls can deceive, and how quickly the desires of our flesh can destroy.  I can imagine it was with a heavy and fervent heart that he experienced the Holy Spirit’s breath upon his hand as he wrote out this charge to his son…

To know wisdom and instruction, To discern the sayings of understanding, To receive instruction in wise behavior, Righteousness, justice and equity; To give prudence to the naive, To the youth knowledge and discretion, A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, To understand a proverb and a figure, The words of the wise and their riddles. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Proverbs 1:1-7

Yes, beloved it is a fool that despises wisdom and instruction. I don’t know about you, but I don’t plan to be a momma who raises a bunch of fools… and I most certainly don’t expect to be one myself. God makes it very clear that we are stubborn rebellious fools if we refuse to listen to Him and if we don’t take His correction when He teaches us that we haven’t been paying attention.

Yet they did not listen or incline their ears, but stiffened their necks in order not to listen or take correction.

Jeremiah 17:23

The simple truth is that God cannot fellowship with us if we are ignoring Him any more than we can fellowship with our children if they are ignoring us. Let our prayer for our children be that they would listen to the instructions of God.

Instead of pointing your children to your words and to your opinions and to your preferences point them to the Word of God. Point them to His thoughts and to His ways… because His thoughts and His ways are not yours (Isaiah 55:8) unless yours are lined up with His and if yours are lined up with His, then He is there to back you up. When they ask you questions, don’t shoot from the hip… take them to the Book. Teach them how to go to God to receive instruction… and most importantly, live a life that shows them what that looks like. God is just waiting to pour Himself out on those who are willing to listen.

While Peter was still speaking these words, the Holy Spirit fell upon all those who were listening to the message.

Act 10:44

The Holy Spirit falls upon those who are listening.

Oh how I pray that we all are listening…

Next post…

Where is Tall Man? Where is Tall Man?

Children's Ministry, Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries

Praying For Our Children

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For this boy I prayed, and theLord has given me my petition which I asked of Him. So I have also dedicated him to the Lord; as long as he lives he is dedicated to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.

1 Samuel 1:27-28

So after digging a little into the context of 1 Samuel and looking at the value of children and honoring God over honoring our children we come to the conclusion of my thought process as I worked through 1 Samuel preparing for my Mother’s Day message… 

As I pondered praying for our children and was asking the Lord for direction and seeking what He would have me share and how… He gave me my outline while in the shower one morning. He often meets me there. It’s one of the few places that a mother can find at least a few moments without interruption… sometimes anyways.

When I am seeking the Lord’s direction for a speaking engagement, He always gives me His outline first… and then I study with Him to fill in all the blanks. While in the shower the Holy Spirit brought a verse to me…

For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well. For this reason I remind you to kindle afresh the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.

2 Timothy 1:5-7

Here is a verse discussing the spiritual influence of Timothy… and that influence came from His mother and grandmother. From there the Lord took me to the part of the verse that discusses the laying on of my hands… and I began to ponder on the hands of a mother.

With these hands I gently held my child for the very first time. With these hands I wiped away tears, spit up, snot, and even caught vomit while I rushed to get a sick child to the bathroom. With these hands I have bandaged boo-boos and tested foreheads for fever. With these hands I have clapped and cheered on my children finding their feet, taking first steps, putting together a first puzzle, going potty for the first time, and running the wrong away around the bases in their first attempt at sports. With these hands I have popped almost tantrum throwing legs and swatted rebellious little bottoms… and with the hands I have wrote thousands of pages of prayers for my children in my journal and folded them together in prayer, or placed them in my own hair about to pull it out as I found myself face down on the floor in utter desperation and frustration praying that my God would help me maintain my sanity and keep me from killing them.

As I looked at my hands, the Lord brought to my remembrance an old classic song…

 

That’s right… Where is Thumbkin 😉

This would be the basis of the outline that the Lord would use to teach me what I believe He wanted me to share concerning praying for our children. The Lord led me to teach prayers that would relate to children of all ages in all circumstances.

We begin with Thumbkin himself. When I thought of the thumb, my mind went to the phrase “has them under their thumb”. This is said about someone who appears to have the ability to control someone else or at least is trying to control someone else. Many times as a mother this could be said of us. Moms let me assure you now… you will not always be able to control your children. Yes as babies, as toddlers, and even up into the early teenage years you have the power to excerpt a certain amount of control over the external acts and circumstances… but their comes a day when they begin to think for themselves and they become accountable for their own choices and actions. You might already be in that place where this realization is hitting like a ton of bricks.

Perhaps you are watching your child begin to walk down a path of destruction… or perhaps they are already running, not walking, down that road… let me assure you that God didn’t miss that. He sees. You mom, might not be able to control the circumstances of your children… you can’t keep them under your thumb… but God most certainly can.

Mom begin today to stop placing your children under your thumb and place them under God’s. Trying to keep them under your thumb will only cause them to rebel and push away from your hands that have loved and cared for them. Remember how you held them with your hands that very first day. You did not hold them with clenched fist… you held them with soft, tender, OPEN hands. The way you received them from God must be the way you always hold them… with open hands. God loves them more than you do anyway… and His plans for your children just might not be what yours are for them. So trust Him. He has it under control.

Impress His Words and His will on them… not yours.

And remember sometimes God has to let them crawl around in their insanity and rebellion and pride in order to get them to come back to their senses and remember that He alone is God. This is where you lean hard into the sovereignty of God and know that He is indeed sovereign over all things… even sin.

 Thumbkin

“You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be asfrontals on your forehead. You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your sons may be multiplied on the land which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, as long as the heavens remain above the earth.

Deuteronomy 11:18-21

***

For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His. 

2 Chronicles 16:9

***

I am the Lord, I have called You in righteousness, I will also hold You by the hand and watch over You

Isaiah 42:6

***

For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord,
And He watches all his paths.

Proverbs 5:21

***

“But at the end of that period, I, Nebuchadnezzar, raised my eyes toward heaven and my reason returned to me, and I blessed the Most High and praised and honored Him who lives forever; For His dominion is an everlasting dominion, And His kingdom endures from generation to generation. All the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing, But He does according to His will in the host of heaven And among the inhabitants of earth; And no one can ward off His hand Or say to Him, ‘What have You done?’ At that time my reason returned to me.

Daniel 4:34-36

Where is Pointer? Where is Pointer?

We will take a look at Pointer in my next post…

Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries

God If This Is Loving Me, I Sure Am Glad You Ain’t Mad At Me

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Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when He heard that he was sick, He then stayed two days longer in the place where He was. 

John 11:5-6

Okay, wait a minute. Stop and back the truck up. Did you catch that?

Jesus loved them… SO.

He loved them, so when He heard that He was sick… He STAYED TWO DAYS LONGER where He was???

Ummmm excuse me? What?

I don’t know about you… but shouldn’t that say… He loved them, so when He heard he was sick He left immediately to get to them as. fast. as. He. possibly. could? Doesn’t that make more sense?

To us… yeh.

                         But, we don’t know what God knows.

Jesus even turns to His disciples who are clueless to what He is trying to tell them as He speaks about His “sleeping” friend and finally has to turn to them and just flat out tell them that Lazarus is dead and then He says,

“and I am glad for your sakes that I was not there…”

John 11:15

What? Say that again? Your friend, who You love, is dead. You could have stopped it. We have seen You do it… and you’re glad? Did You say You are glad for our sake? What about Lazarus’ sake?

Can you imagine the look of dumbfoundedness on the faces of the disciples as they try to process all this information?

It appears that the disciples think that Jesus has stayed away because He was afraid that the Jews would kill Him… the Pharisees did have a hit out on Him and were ready to reward whoever would take Him out or turn Him in to them.

So when Jesus announces that Lazarus is dead… and NOW He is going to him… the disciples begin to think that Jesus has just lost it.

Therefore Thomas, who is called Didymus, said to his fellow disciples, “Let us also go, so that we may die with Him.”

John 11:16

Hmmmmm, my interpretation of Didymus’ words: Look dudes, the Teacher has gone all kamikaze on us… and well if He is going down, let’s go with Him, because they will be after us next anyway. It’s all for one and for one all… regulators mount up because we all going down in a blaze of glory together!

We can sit back and marvel and even laugh at the cluelessness of the disciples, but how guilty we so often are of the same type of conclusion jumping and backward interpretations of His will and Word.

Or maybe I am just speaking about myself…

When Jesus arrives we see Martha come rushing to “the finally decided to get here” Jesus… the first words out her mouth… 

“Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died. Even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You.”

John 11:21-22

She comes at him with both accusation and hope

I adore how are Lord takes her accusation in complete understanding and stride and sees her hope and raises it… stating

“Your brother will rise again“

John 11:23

This is the hand you have been dealt Martha… but the One who deals the cards has stacked the deck and He knows exactly how the chips are going to fall and who is going to take the house.

Here in John 11 is the day that Jesus let the ones He loved face death in order to teach them the most glorious truth about Life.

Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life; he who believes in Me will live even if he dies, and everyone who lives and believes in Me will never die. Do you believe this?”

John 11:25-26

When we fully understand that not even death can defeat us… then we truly can stand before what ever this world, all the powers of hell, our own flesh, or even Satan himself can throw at us. We can stand there in bold confidence and unrelenting faith. We can stand firm with no faulting in our fear. We can stand strong and courageous knowing that He has overcome.

Jesus said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” 

John 11:40

Not you might see.

But you WILL see.

If you believe… you will see the glory of God.

What is this glory?

I really am not sure… I just know that somehow If. I. Believe… my Jesus will somehow put visually and physically before me this heaviness that weighs in my chest when I think upon my God. This emotion that wells up in the depths of my soul and the deepest regions of my inner being, that I cannot even explain when I lift up my heart in my praise to this One who created me, loved me, came for me, died for me, lives for me and through me, while still and at the same time controlling the rising and setting of the sun and the waves of a sea that I cannot even fathom the depths of and a sky that my eyes cannot see the breadth of… this One who names the stars that I cannot count and knows the number of the hairs of my head that He can… this One who counts my worth more precious than the sparrows and sees my beauty as more than the lilies of the field…

I will get to see Him in all His glory… a glory I cannot come close to imagining or defining.

So in case you are in that place where life is hard… confusing… unrelenting… and you are thinking, God if this loving me, I sure am glad You ain’t mad at me…

Beloved, let it be well with your soul.

For He is indeed the Resurrection and the Life… and He loves you much… and He wants you to see His Glory. Believe Him, beloved. Believe.

Proven Path Ministries

But I Prefer…

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When someone says they “love you” yet they do not esteem you… what they are really saying is that they love all the things you do for them and the best part is that it costs them very little or nothing at all… that’s not love… that’s selfishness.

If you are someone who accepts this type of love, you are dependent on the affirmation of others, whether it is sincere or not. The mere mirage of love is enough to keep you enslaved to this false sense of respect and admiration.

As I was studying in John 11 this week I was reminded of this as I did a word study on several of the words in this chapter… love being one of them.

Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.

John 11:5

The word love here in the Greek is agapaó and it means…

love, wish well to, take pleasure in, long for; denotes the love of reason, esteem.

properly, to prefer, to love; for the believer, preferring to “live through Christ“ (1 Jn 4:9,10), i.e. embracing God’s will (choosing His choices) and obeying them through His power. 25 (agapáō) preeminently refers to what God prefers as He “is love” (1 Jn 4:8,16). See 26 (agapē).

With the believer, 25 /agapáō (“to love”) means actively doing what the Lord prefers, with Him (by His power and direction). True 25 /agapáō (“loving”) is always defined by God – a “discriminating affection which involves choice and selection” (WS, 477). 1 Jn 4:8,16,17 for example convey how loving (“preferring,” 25 /agapáō) is Christ living His life through the believer.

…with the accusative of the person, to have a preference for, wish well to, regard the welfare of

To love is to prefer…  to set or hold before or above other persons or things in estimation; like better, to give priority to, as to one creditor over another, to put forward or present for consideration or sanction, to put forward or advance, as in rank or office; promote.

To love is to esteem… to have great respect or high regard for

When we esteem someone we place high value on them and we prize them accordingly. When we esteem someone we are willing to make sacrifices for them in order to demonstrate our love for them. 

Do you know what’s funny? One of mine and my husband’s longest battles is where or what are we going to eat. We have ended up driving home and eating cereal over this one issue more times than I can count. Do you know what I just realized was the cause of this battle?

We love each other.

Yep, that’s it.

We both want to offer preference to the other’s choice. We both want to esteem the other and submit to the other’s wants. We both want to regard the other over our own desire. We want to embrace the other’s will not fight for our own. When I look back on many of our “arguments” this has been at the heart of it.

How crazy is it that Satan has the ability to take our love and preference for one another and turn it into a fight… that’s the caliber of evil and conniving that we are fighting against in this world. He’s a slippery tricky little sucker… who really isn’t little at all. He’s out for blood and he will do what ever is necessary to get it.

Here is the question I have for you… when you use the word love… do you mean it?

As I am pondering this I am beginning to realize that many of us actually mean the word love in its truest sense most when we are discussing our flavor of ice cream rather than when we are discussing our spouse or especially when we are discussing our Christ.

Think about it…

Do you profess to love your spouse, but always fight for your own will and way in the relationship? Do you profess to love, yet you are not willing to make any sacrifices to prefer.

Do you think someone loves you, or that you love them, yet you show you little respect toward one another within the relationship and the bounds of the relationship are outside of what God’s will and choice is for relationships?

And what about your relationship with Christ? Are you actively and purposely choosing God’s choice over your own?

When you are faced with life… do you make preference for God’s will and what God says clearly in His Word is good and right? Or do you claim to love Him yet choose to do things according to your own preference or someone else’s?

Do you esteem and respect Him and demonstrate that by your willingness to sacrifice your desires for His will?

Or do you claim to love Him, but really you are just after for what He can do for you as long as it costs you little or nothing at all.

However, the king said to Araunah, “No, but I will surely buy it from you for a price, for I will not offer burnt offerings to the Lord my God which cost me nothing.” So David bought the threshing floor and the oxen for fifty shekels of silver.

2 Samuel 24:24

It has taken me a while to wake up and realize that what I thought was “love” for me was really the fact that others loved what I was doing because it costs them little… and it didn’t matter that it was costing those who really did love me much.

I am at a place now where I am stepping back and leaning into the arms of those who have demonstrated their love for me… instead of letting that old slippery tricky serpent of old twist true love into a fight while keeping me enslaved to a false one.

 

Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries

Who Do You Honor More

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In my post The Value of Children, I shared how it’s important for us to remember the value of children… but it is also important for us to keep our children in the proper place of priority.

As I looked into the historical context of 1 Samuel and pondered the depth of Hannah’s desire to be able to have a child I also noticed something amazing about her… and her husband. I noticed their character.

When Hannah enter’s the temple to pray what I see here in the Scriptures is that her prayer was the classic “if-then” prayer. You know, the one that goes, God if you will a-b-c… Then I will d-e-f. 

The “if-then” prayer usually comes in our moments of desperation… however the thing about many “if-then” prayers is that when God takes care of the “if” many times we often forget about the “then”.

Many times we decide to ignore the fact that this “if-then” prayer is a vow we have made to God.

Now Hannah could have justified her prayer of desperation. I mean, really, she never actually said this out loud… (1 Samuel 1:13) right? I mean, come on, she was upset and distressed and hurting and she was just saying all this in her head. Surely she would not be held to this “if-then” prayer…

Ladies here is the thing with our God. He is very much aware that we are emotional beings. What we find in His Word is that He provides a safety net of sorts for us women. In Numbers 30 God devotes an entire chapter to the importance of keeping a vow and most of this chapter is focused on the vow of a woman.

In Numbers 30 God gives our husband and our father the right to null and void any vow we have made if they do not approve of it. Now some females might find this offensive, but this woman right here finds it comforting. I find it comforting because I know how hard it is for me to say no and easy it is for me to say, that’s okay I will do it, and I also know the outlandish promises and comments I can make when I am… well in the way of woman… and life feels like it’s crashing down all around me or out from under me. So knowing that my moments of irrational frustration are protected and guarded by men who love me brings me security. Trust me, I can make some rash statements with these lips that I had rather not be held to when the dust settles and the smoke clears.

However, what we see in 1 Samuel with Hannah… is that her husband did not null and void her vow. Here was his wife, that he loved. The wife he had watched for years in racking sobs and depression over her infertility. He heard of the vow she made and he was there when the Lord opened her womb and she discovered she was with child… and it was a son.

Elkanah could have stepped in and said, “Honey you don’t have to keep that vow you made to the Lord. This is the son you have hoped for, that “if-then” prayer… God will understand. Really let’s keep him here and raise him and he will be my heir”

But Elkanah did not do that. He was in agreement with his wife, that they would honor the Lord, by honoring their vow to Him. Hannah kept Samuel at home until he was able to be weaned and then she and Elkanah brought him to the temple and dedicated him to the Lord, just as she promised she would.

She said, “Oh, my lord! As your soul lives, my lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you, praying to the Lord. For this boy I prayed, and theLord has given me my petition which I asked of Him. So I have also dedicated him to the Lord; as long as he lives he is dedicated to the Lord.” And he worshiped the Lord there.

1 Samuel 1:26-28

Can you imagine how hard this was for her. To release her son to Eli the priest. She would only see him once a year… yet she kept her vow. Hannah was a woman of integrity and a woman of her word. She honored God.

Now in contrast, let’s take a look at Eli’s sons.

Now the sons of Eli were worthless men; they did not know the Lord

1 Samuel 2:12

Eli’s sons were worthless. They did not honor God and they did not know God… even though they were raised in the priesthood… yes, they were the PK’s, the preacher’s kids.

What we discover next is that God is pretty upset with Eli about his sons… but what I want you to see is why.

Why do you kick at My sacrifice and at My offering which I have commanded in My dwelling, and honor your sons above Me, by making yourselves fat with the choicest of every offering of My people Israel?’

1 Samuel 2:29

God was not holding Eli responsible for the actions of his grown sons… He was, however, holding him responsible for not dealing with them. Eli chose to honor his sons over honoring the Lord and did nothing more than “have a talk” with them about how they were blaspheming God within His temple and openly ignoring the commands of God before the people of Israel.

So we have a contrast of two sets of parents.

One honored God over honoring their son.

The other honored their sons over honoring God.

If you are a parent… which one best defines you?

 

 

Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries

Anchored Hope and Hallelujahs

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This month has been a rough one…

Earlier this week, this is what I posted to my personal FB page:

As many of you know my husband, Patrick Vaughn‘s sister is currently fighting liver cancer, and three weeks ago we found out his Dad had bladder cancer. My father-in-law is going on his third week in the hospital. This past Friday my parents and I met with an oncologist. It strongly appears my father Wayne Halbrooks has lung cancer. Today was his PET scan and tomorrow is his biopsy. We meet with the oncologist this coming Monday to go over results and begin a plan for treatments.

Our family would covet your prayers during this journey that lays ahead of us. We are confident in the sovereign hand of our God and we praise Him in good times and bad. Knowing that He never leaves us or forsakes us and none of this has caught Him by surprise.

***

It’s been a bomb dropping month for my house… especially for my girls who now have an aunt and both grandfather’s who are fighting cancer (the grandfather’s were diagnosed within weeks of one another) and a mother who was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis earlier this year.

Our Bekah has a loom for making band bracelets. The first thing she did when she found out about her first grandfather was she made him an “LSU” band bracelet and when she gave it to him in the hospital she found out that purple was also the color for bladder cancer. So when she found out about my Daddy the first thing she did was look up the ribbon color for his cancer and said “I am going to make bracelets with all the colors of the cancer that our family is fighting so that people can remember to pray for us”


 picking bands

 

However she chooses not to make the bracelets with the colors our family are currently fighting but also includes the colors of the cancer our family has already fought.

Me, being the momma, and wanting to make it a little easier on her and her band collection told her that she could make mine out of the colors they are currently fighting and she quickly turned to me and said, “Momma, I have to use the ones they have fought, that’s very important! All colors or no bracelet” and I smiled deep all the way into my heart and said, well alright, make mine with all the colors.

Here they are. She chose to make the bracelets with the colors of cancer in the order of our family’s diagnoses…

prayer bracelets

 

The colors of cancer in order of our families diagnoses.

Black: For her Papaw Wayne, my Daddy, who was diagnosed with stage 3 Melanoma. Fought and Defeated.

Pink: For her Aunt Phillis, my husband’s sister who was diagnosed with Breast cancer. Fought and Defeated.

Blue: For her Aunt Phillis, yes, my husband’s sister who was diagnosed with Colon cancer. Fought and Defeated.

Green: For her Aunt Phillis, yes, believe it or not, my husband’s sister who was diagnosed with cancer in her Liver as a metastasis from her Colon cancer. Fighting and latest reports were cancer cells had shrank x3 in size and her blood work is looking great and her attitude is beautiful.

Purple: For her Papaw Jerry, my husband’s Dad who was diagnosed with stage 4 Bladder cancer. He has been in the hospital for going on three weeks from complications that arose from the surgery to go in and remove the tumor that they discovered. However the cancer had invaded the bladder wall, so he will have to have another surgery after chemo to remove the bladder. Right now we need him to get his strength back so that he can be released from the hospital in order to begin chemo treatments. Getting ready to fight.

White: For her Papaw Wayne , my Daddy who was diagnosed with Lung cancer. We meet with the oncologist this coming Monday to go over PET scan and results of biopsy. He is ready to fight.

***

A couple of days ago I posted the picture of the bracelet that Bekah made me and shared that she wanted to make bracelets for anyone who wanted one to remember to pray for our family… when I shared with her all the replies of yes I want one her eyes got big and she said, “This is awesome. This is a reminder for people to pray for us! I never thought so many people would want one!”

So she got busy in the floor with her loom and Shelby said, “Bekah I will go get some tissue paper and ribbon and make individual bags for each one so you can hand them out like that”

So last night as I watched my girls work to make and gift wrap prayer bracelets for those who have promised to pray for their family… I couldn’t contain myself. It amazes me how a heart can break and be filled with such joy all at the same time.

This year has been a beautiful reminder of the sovereignty of our God and the hope that is ours in Christ. 

This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, a hope both sure and steadfast and one which enters within the veil…

Hebrews 6:19

This season is simply a reminder that God is with us and that this world is not our home and our hope is in Him… and as my sister-in-law (Aunt Phillis) posted on my wall… this is our families theme song through this trial. Our Hallelujah song…

 In the book of John, my Jesus looks at the Pharisees and says…

Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.”

John 2:19

And in the 1 Corinthians the Apostle Paul writes…

Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?

1 Corinthians 6:19

This is the hope that is ours in Christ… we can look at cancer and say…

Go ahead and destroy this temple because my Jesus is going to raise me up again!

For if we have become united with Him in the likeness of His death, certainly we shall also be in the likeness of His resurrection…
Romans 6:5

Cancer can get to my loved ones bodies… but it can’t touch their souls. None of us know what tomorrow holds. It doesn’t have to be a cancer diagnoses… it could be a ran red light or a tornado or a backyard swimming pool. Death of this body will come to us all… the question is who holds your soul?

Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries

The Value Of Children

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Last Saturday I shared a message at a Mother Child Tea. The topic of the event was based on 1 Samuel 1:27-28

For this boy I prayed, and the Lord has given me my petition which I asked of Him. So I have also dedicated him to the Lord; as long as he lives he is dedicated to the Lord.” 

As I prayed about what God would have me share and how he would have me share it, I did as I always do when praying and preparing… I went to the context of the verse that the event was planned around.

As I  pondered the historical context of 1 Samuel 1:27-28 several things hit me. One was the value that was placed on having children. Another was the character of Hannah. Another was the character of her husband and his confidence in the character of his wife… the woman he loved.

We live in a day where woman are fighting for the right to kill their unborn children. Even going to the point of videoing themselves having an abortion and unabashedly promoting it as a beautiful thing aligned with giving birth.

I have always found the societal outrage over the woman who hacks her newborn child with a butcher knife quite hypocritical since that is the EXACT same thing that an abortionist does… and yet our society celebrates it.

I talked with a friend several months ago that was sharing with me the story of a woman who lives in San Diego, California. Her husband is Philip Rivers. He is currently the quarterback for the San Diego Chargers. He and his wife have seven children. His wife shared with my friend that when she went to the doctor to confirm she was pregnant with her 4th child her San Diego doctor, upon giving her the confirmation of pregnancy also entered the room with abortion info and replied that she knew she would be wanting this for baby #4.

It took Mrs. Rivers a while to find a pro-life doctor in California… but she did.

Mrs. Rivers does something that blows the minds of the other woman around her at in her California home town. She shared that one day she was having lunch with her children and she noticed a table full of other women staring and snickering at her…  and finally one of them got up the nerve to come to her table. The woman stated that her and her friends were watching her with all these kids at the table and were baffled that she was smiling. This woman asked her how in the world could she be so happy?

Behold, children are a gift of the Lord,
The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Psalm 127:3

There was a day when children were valued. I looked at Hannah and her plea and prayer to the Lord to bless her with children. Children were the future of the family. Children carried the promises of God to the next generation. Eve, Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel… Hannah, these woman longed for children (some doing unthinkable things to try and get them) and they celebrated them and praised the Lord when He heard their cry.

These woman also had an enemy that made them feel less of a woman because they did not have what they so desired… of course at the root of the instigation was Satan, for Sarah there was Hagar, for Rachel there was Leah, and for Hannah there was Peninnah. It’s interesting to me that the name Peninnah comes from the Hebrew word pinnah and it means corner.

I have learned that the enemy, reveals himself many times as a rival of women of righteousness, and uses these rivals to try and back us in a corner and mock us. Women were once mocked and ridiculed for having no children and now today once you pass that third child… well if you are on baby #4, #5, or #10 you know what I am talking about.

Today woman are often ridiculed and attempted to be made to feel weak and powerless and not a “real” woman because they refuse to bow to the backwardness of modern feminism.

Yes, the rivals are real and they are loud and they can hurt with their vicious words… but so can we if we turn and respond to those who hurt us in like manner.

Hannah chose to keep her mouth closed and her heart opened. She didn’t yield to the mockings of Peninnah and turn to her own connivings to manipulate and twist and worm her way into getting what she desired.

Yes, she lived in a day when children were valued… and she greatly desired a child of her own, yet she also knew to keep them and her desire for them in their proper place of priority.

More on that later…

I am trying to stay in a reasonable word count limit 😉

Book Reviews, Children's Ministry, Proven Path Ministries

How’s It Going With That Teen?

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The last post I shared from the National Center For Biblical Parenting was about the book I was reading from the parenting shifts series, Cultivating Responsibility which is written to aid parents in biblically parenting children 9 to 12 years old.

Awesome book.

Listen, let me get real with you for a moment… even if you don’t know about the whole Christian thing, even if you are not sure about Jesus and religion and all that… if you have kids… check out these books. For the sake of us who have been raised in the “Dr Spock” child rearing era… you need this information.

During our Mother’s Day Child Dedication our Pastor shared some interesting information about the introduction of the Dr Spock era to our world… I highly recommend it… the audio doesn’t pick up well until around 2 1/2 minutes in…

 

So Mom… Dad… by whose standards have you been parenting?

By man’s?

Or by God’s?

One of the most frustrating things that I have experienced in my service as a children’s minister was to know that I had awesome tools to offer parents with kids of ALL ages and for some reason parents with kids older than 8 or 9 years old seem to think they don’t need any parenting advice. They seem to believe this type of class is just for those parents with the tantrum throwing two year olds… but the ones with the tantrum throwing fourteen year olds… you know the ones that slam the doors, that stomp out of the room, that slam the phone down or throw it at whoever has taken it away in discipline, or roll their eyes, or scream, or punch wholes in the wall… Nah… apparently this is just the “teenage years” for them and they don’t need any parenting class.

So we just decide to continue on and carry that right on in to the next generation…

But just in case you are a parent that wants to end that generational curse of disrespect, angry outburst, irresponsibility, self-entitlement, etc… and you want some tools to improve your relationship with your teen and strengthen the unity of your family and stop giving the serpent of old a foothold in your home and in your heritage… then here is what is about to be offered for you from the NCBP… a whole toolbox full of information and practical helps focused on parenting teenagers.

This toolbox is in the launch process and I am a part of that launch. In order to help get the word out about this new product the NCBP is allowing me to offer to you an opportunity to win 1 full downloadable version of “The Family Toolbox” and the “Discussion Guide”

The Family Toolbox has 8 lessons. Each one has a 1-2 minute scene of a family living life and experiencing common challenges in their relationships. A discussion guide prompts dialogue between parents and teens and a 10-minute teaching session for parents featuring Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne MIller, RN, BSN gives practical tools to use right away.

As they work through the lessons with their parents, teens learn 16 Life Success Principles and parents learn valuable tools such as:

• How to focus on the heart instead of just behavior
• The cues you give that tell your children when you mean business
• Practical ways to remove conflict from the problems of family life
• How to end correction times with impact
• A tool for maximizing heart change in the correction process
• The value of teaching kids to accept no as an answer
• Ways to reduce anger episodes in children

See more at: Family Toolbox Info

 

To enter to win this giveaway just watch the preview video posted below and fill out the rafflecopter that follows.

Now here is the rafflecopter:

a Rafflecopter giveaway

I will email the winner of the Toolbox giveaway on May 30th.

Now here’s the last thing… you can help support this launch as well. I hope will consider doing so… and please share this info with other parents and with your church ministry leaders.

 

Oh and also on May 30th the NCBP will be offering a free Kindle download of the Parenting Shift book Preschool Explorers on Amazon. So mark your calendars!

Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries

Moms Night Out

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I read a post the other day about a mom’s opinion on the horribleness of Mother’s Day. She posted about this holiday was so horrible because it hurt and excluded women everywhere who either were not mothers or had lost their mothers… and she claimed this holiday benefited no one but Hallmark and that it was just another Hallmark Holiday.

However, here is the history of Mother’s Day…

The modern American holiday of Mother’s Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia. Her campaign to make “Mother’s Day” a recognized holiday in the United States began in 1905, the year her beloved mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, died. Anna’s mission was to honor her own mother by continuing work she had started and to set aside a day to honor mothers, “the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world.” Anna’s mother, Ann Jarvis, was a peace activist who had cared for wounded soldiers on both sides of the Civil War and created Mother’s Day Work Clubs to address public health issues.

Due to the campaign efforts of Anna Jarvis, several states officially recognized Mother’s Day, the first in 1910 being West Virginia, Jarvis’ home state. In 1914 Woodrow Wilson signed the proclamation creating Mother’s Day, the second Sunday in May, as a national holiday to honor mothers. In a thank-you note to Wilson, Jarvis wrote of a “great Home Day of our country for sons and daughters to honor their mothers and fathers and homes in a way that will perpetuate family ties and give emphasis to true home life.”
~ Wikipedia

That’s right. The campaign for Mother’s Day was campaigned for in 1905 by a woman who had lost her mother and wanted to honor this woman who was no longer with her in this life. It was not until 1914 that this became an official US Holiday.

(And by the way, Hallmark didn’t start making Mother’s Day cards until the 192o’s and they weren’t even Hallmark then… it was 1954 before the name Hallmark was issued.)

This year is the 100th anniversary of Mother’s Day… all because one woman loved her mother and wanted to see her memory and life honored and wanted to make sure that other’s realized the value of the women in their lives who served as their mothers.

So this rant…

But Mother’s Day celebrates a huge lie about the value of women: that mothers are superior beings, that they have done more with their lives and chosen a more difficult path. Ha! Every woman’s path is difficult, and many mothers were as equipped to raise children as wire monkey mothers. I say that without judgment: It is, sadly, true. An unhealthy mother’s love is withering.

The illusion is that mothers are automatically happier, more fulfilled and complete. But the craziest, grimmest people this Sunday will be the mothers themselves, stuck herding their own mothers and weeping children and husbands’ mothers into seats at restaurants. These mothers do not want a box of chocolate. These mothers are on a diet.

I hate the way the holiday makes all non-mothers, and the daughters of dead mothers, and the mothers of dead or severely damaged children, feel the deepest kind of grief and failure. The non-mothers must sit in their churches, temples, mosques, recovery rooms and pretend to feel good about the day while they are excluded from a holiday that benefits no one but Hallmark

is ridiculous.

I am a mother and this holiday has never made… I repeat NEVER made me feel superior to anyone. What it has done has taken this woman who feels like a failure EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE feel for one day that there is a glimmer of hope that maybe just maybe I have done something right and have not scarred my children for life. Maybe just maybe, thirty years from now they won’t be laying on a leather couch one day telling some counselor how I am the cause of their instability to exist somewhat normally in society.

This holiday makes me appreciate all the more that I still have my mother here with me… when so many don’t. Since when is a day set aside to do what God has commanded us to do anyway horrible. Have you ever done a word study on the word “mother” in the Scriptures?

Here you go, I’ll make it easy for you: mother

In the NASB the word mother is used 304 times… It was through a Mother that God sent the Savior to the world. Your Savior and mine.

I don’t know about you, but I know many times… MANY MANY MANY times… my mother has provided my “salvation” from things in this life.

What I know in my own life… my personal opinion and lessons learned… is that I had no clue what my mother meant when she said she loved me until the day I delivered my daughter and held her in my arms… I did not realize my heart was capable of that… and I think I have spent the last thirteen years in repentance for what I put my own mother through in my days of selfish rebellion.

As a matter of fact God says…

‘Cursed is he who dishonors his father or mother.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’

Deuteronomy 27:16

There are many holidays I can see that might justify a rant, but not Mother’s Day and not Father’s Day. If you got them, or if you had them, or if you so badly want to be them. It’s a day to remember, and a day to hope, and yes… a day to grieve if needed.

Since when did grief become a dirty word anyway?

I have never felt forced to buy my mother an expensive gift, nor have I felt I deserved them… but let me tell you when I have the opportunity to put into words my thankfulness for my mom and tell her that I love her with no side request attached… I take it.

The fact that this day purposely allows that time to cause me to stop and breathe and do that… Yes.

In my house and in my family thankful arms and sincere eyes have always been enough. What I see when my children have looked at me and shouted their Happy Mother’s Day is that they are just as excited to say it as I am to hear it.

And if they bring me chocolates… it’s one day… even if I am on a diet, I will eat at least one and share the rest with a grateful heart. And so what if I drag kids in all grimmy on Sunday morning to commemorate this day… that’s life… is that any different from any other Sunday? Nope… except today I get to actually hear that it’s okay that I am covered in spit up, pancake syrup, and my morning coffee, and forgot to shave my other leg in the shower.

And if you get the chance to go see Moms Night Out… go for it.

The writing and teachings of Nicole Love Halbrooks Vaughn