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Train Up A Child Series, Uncategorized

Train Up A Child Day 1

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Train up a child in the way he should go
and when he is old
he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6

I came across this article by JC Ryle entitled The Duties of Parents. In it he has this to say about the Scripture verse above:

But, after all, how little is the substance of this text regarded! The doctrine it contains appears scarcely known, the duty it puts before us seems fearfully seldom practiced.  Reader, do I not speak the truth? It cannot be said that the subject is a new one.  The world is old, and we have the experience of nearly six thousand years to help us.  We live in days when there is a mighty zeal for education in every quarter.  We hear of new schools rising on all sides.  We are told of new systems, and new books for the young, of every sort and description.  And still for all this, the vast majority of children are manifestly not trained in the way they should go, for when they grow up to man’s estate, they do not walk with God.  Now how shall we account for this state of things? The plain truth is, the Lord’s commandment in our text is not regarded; and therefore the Lord’s promise in our text is not fulfilled.

Reader, these things may well give rise to great searchings of heart.  Suffer then a word of exhortation from a minister, about the right training of children.  Believe me, the subject is one that should come home to every conscience, and make every one ask himself the question, “Am I in this matter doing what I can?”

I read this and I did have to ask myself if I was indeed, in this matter, doing what I can to fully regard this text, this promise of my God, this instruction in His Word. Because I want to. I want to be a parent who leads my child in the way God would have them go… not my way, not their way, but His way.

So I am going to dig into this verse with Mr Ryle and I invite you to join me. His article contains 17 points. I plan to dig into one point a day, because the article was quite overwhelming to try to take it all in one bite.

Perhaps you are reading this and you don’t have children or you have already raised your children… well these are the words of JC Ryle to you concerning this subject:

It is a subject that concerns almost all.  There is hardly a household that it does not touch.  Parents, nurses, teachers, godfathers, godmothers, uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, — all have an interest in it.  Few can be found, I think, who might not influence some parent in the management of his family, or affect the training of some child by suggestion or advice.  All of us, I suspect, can do something here, either directly or indirectly, and I wish to stir up all to bear this in remembrance.  

So don’t disregard this information no matter what your “stage” is in life. If you live in this world you will have an influence on those around you, especially any children who are watching you, even if you don’t want to admit or claim yourself responsible for what ever behavior others see in you. They still see. Little eyes and hearts and minds are always watching and recording and processing.

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Train Up A Child Day One

1.  First, then, if you would train your children rightly, train them in the way they should go, and not in the way that they would.

Remember children are born with a decided bias towards evil, and therefore if you let them choose for themselves, they are certain to choose wrong.  The mother cannot tell what her tender infant may grow up to be, — tall or short, weak or strong, wise or foolish he may be any of these things or not, — it is all uncertain.  But one thing the mother can say with certainty: he will have a corrupt and sinful heart. 

It is natural to us to do wrong.  “Foolishness,” says Solomon, “is bound in the heart of a child” (Prov. 22:15).  “A child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame” (Prov. 29:15).  Our hearts are like the earth on which we tread; let it alone, and it is sure to bear weeds.  If, then, you would deal wisely with your child, you must not leave him to the guidance of his own will. Think for him, judge for him, act for him, just as you would for one weak and blind; but for pity’s sake, give him not up to his own wayward tastes and inclinations. 

It must not be his likings and wishes that are consulted.  He knows not yet what is good for his mind and soul, any more than what is good for his body.  You do not let him decide what he shall eat, and what he shall drink, and how he shall be clothed.  Be consistent, and deal with his mind in like manner.  Train him in the way that is scriptural and right, and not in the way that he fancies.

If you cannot make up your mind to this first principle of Christian training, it is useless for you to read any further. Self-will is almost the first thing that appears in a child’s mind; and it must be your first step to resist it.

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Oh, we hold our newborn babes in our arms and we look into the eyes of this precious, glorious creation of our God and all we can think is how absolutely perfect they are…

We cannot imagine that within that beauty in our arms is a cold, sinful, wicked heart that is inclined to evil and rebellion against everything good, right, and holy. Yet inside this small, weak, infant frame is indeed a deceitful heart that left to itself has no bounds on wickedness. 

From the very beginning we need to begin to teach our children the will and the way of God through the Word of God. It is never too soon. I became a wholly surrendered believer when my Shelby was 6 months old. She was drug to precept classes from the time she was 7 months old. She sat in the floor and played while the teacher taught and I believe with all my heart that she soaked up as much as me. Her mind was open and her ears were listening though her hands made her appear to be occupied with toys.

When I was pregnant with my youngest I would sing to her all the time… well actually I just sing around the house all the time period. One of the songs I sang the most in my last pregnancy was “You are my strength when I am weak, You are the treasure that I seek, You are my all in all…” One day, several years later, while doing the laundry I began singing this song again. My youngest turned to me and said, “Mommy you used to sing that song to me when I was in your tummy!“

Wow!

Needless to say I was floored to tears!

Teach your children the way of God.
Begin teaching them in the womb, and never stop.

Do not leave them to figure things out for themselves.

I mean how easily do you understand your own wants and desires, and how and why they so contrast with what God says is right, good, and holy? And yet we expect our children to make heads and tails of this on their own?

Our children need us.

Children need us.

Teach them.

The world knows how to teach them how to think.
If we don’t teach them how to think, I can guarantee you that the world, that Satan, will.

If you have any doubts of the power of the world on your child’s thought process, if you choose to not be purposeful and active in teaching them the will and way of God according to the Word of God… just remember the Holocaust. Hitler knew what he was doing. He went after the children, Propaganda and Children during the Hitler Years.

We need to be proactive in teaching our children instead of just trying to un-teach what has already been taught. Your children will either weigh other’s words and teachings against what you have already taught them or they will weigh your countered words against what others have first taught (that is if they even think to question what they were taught or remember to share with you what all has been taught). 

If we put our children in public school we have a precious five years to fill their minds and hearts full of a foundation of truth that we must continue to build on.  A precious five years to give them a plumb line. A plumb line that they will have to use to weigh, to line up, the words of teachers and friends for years to come. It is our job to give them the tools that are needed to discern truth from error when we are not there to help them. 

Are we doing it?

I solemnly charge you in the presence of God  and of Christ Jesus,  who is to judge the living and the dead,  and by His appearing and His kingdom:  preach the word;  be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort,  with great patience and instruction.  For the time will come  when they will not endure sound doctrine;  but wanting to have their ears tickled,  they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance to their own desires,

2 Timothy 4:1-3

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>Cultivating Character

>Encouraging the cultivation of character is exactly what wise parents do, nudging, urging their children toward maturity. As a parent, you have occasions in your life, brief vignettes, little windows of time, where you can step forward and help your children to understand the value of being brave. As they grow up and those hands-on occasions change to a more distant relationship, you must call upon your children to stand for what they believe, even if they must stand alone—and then trust them to do it without you alongside.
~ Swindoll

We had an eventful morning in the Vaughn household. My girls are playing basketball. We are playing in the area that we will be living in when our house sells. We began playing ball in this area this past spring. We received a phone call this morning that our girls would not be allowed to continue to play due to our current address. 

Oh I was heartbroke.

You see my girls missed basketball season last year because they spent it in the hospital and at my mom’s helping take care of their Aunt Tracy. My girls were wonderful if I do say so myself. They spent many days doing school in the STICU waiting room and then willingly were drug to my mom’s to do school in her kitchen while I cared for my sister. They got to see how a family takes care of each other and they loved being a part of it, even if it was just running up stairs to get a towel or holding a drink for my sister. They were not bitter at all, they understood when I explained how Aunt Tracy needed us now and basketball would be there next season.

So they were so excited to be playing this year. They had met there coach, their team, ordered uniforms, and had a practice… they were crushed when I delivered the news…

Now my first response in feelings was anger, then hurt, then deception. I thought, no I said, just let me refill out the paperwork I will put my parent’s address. I was ready to reach into my roledex and pull out whatever names I needed to in order to keep my girls on that team.

Then I knew that the only name I needed to pull out was Jesus Christ.

So I went to my girls and we stood in the middle of our living room and we held hands and we prayed. We prayed that God would open the doors for them to be able to play if it was His will. We prayed that He would do it according to the rules with no manipulation on my part. We prayed also that He would sell our house so we wouldn’t have to go through this again. We prayed that His will be done, and we said in Jesus name, and amen, and we began school.

Not even an hour later the phone rings.

Guess what? There is no 9-10 yr old girls basketball team in our current area so according to the rules Shelby could play any where she wanted! And also according to the rules Bekah could play up on Shelby’s team!!

I could not wait to tell my girls. I cried and looked up to my God and told Him, Thank You!!!

I came in and shared the God-news with my girls and Shelby ran and jumped in my arms and Bekah joyfully exclaimed, “Momma, God answered us quick!”

Oh how good He is!!

How thankful I am that God convicted my heart to turn this over to Him and trust Him with it. In doing so He used it as an awesome opportunity to display His glory, His love, His concern, and His realness to His girls!

Train up a child in the way he should go,
Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6
Confessions of a Christian Wife, Uncategorized

Ugh Nightmares!

confessions

When I was younger I used to be able to handle the “scary movie” or at least I thought I was handling them anyway. I remember one that I used to watch that was called Nightmare on Elm Street. These “nightmares” centered around blood and gore and other just really gross stuff. This was Hollywood’s idea of a nightmare.

As a grown woman and a mother of three I learned along time ago that real life was scary enough, I did not need Hollywood helping me out in the nightmare area. My own mind was sufficient enough to scare me to death. I certainly did not need to visit Freddie, Michael, Jason, or the Candyman to have the snot scared out of me. I also know there are demons, they are real, the Bible tells me that plainly. I don’t need Hollywood’s depiction of them, I’ll just take God’s word and I’ll learn from those who have been a part of casting them out, not glorifying them for money.

Last night I had one of my scariest nightmares, this is a repeated one, but it comes in different forms, but it’s the same theme. I am in a busy place with my girls, last night it reminded me of New Orleans, but it was a festival time, there were acrobats and those people that juggle while walking on really tall stilts, and people everywhere. I had both my girls and we were trying to find something or someone, I don’t remember, all I remember is looking down and Bekah was gone.

I then hit panic. I take a death grip on Shelby as I look frantically for Bekah, then I turn around and I now have my nieces and nephews and even some of the kids from our church with me. I want to run to find Bekah, but I can’t now because the rest of the children with me wouldn’t be able to keep up and I fear losing one of them. I finally begin to scream Bekah’s name and the place just seems to magnify in size and the crowd of people multiplies, my heart is pounding, and I can’t breathe, and at the same time I don’t want to scare or lose the other children.

Finally something in me begins to register and I think “Oh God let this be a dream, please let it be a dream!” I manage to wake myself up and look and my Bekah and my Shelby are safe in the bed asleep.

Deep sigh of relief…

Yes, I still had to look at them before my heart stopped pounding. Just waking and discovering I was in a dream was not enough. I wanted physical evidence that they were safe under my wing.

As a wife and mother, this is my nightmare.

I do not fear to the point of nightmares about my child being sick or hurt, I do not want them sick or hurt, but this does not cause me to wake up in a heart pounding cold sweat. However, losing my children, having someone steal my children, this is my nightmare. I can’t stand the thought of it. This indeed gives me nights filled with sheer terror.

When David arose in the morning,
the word of the LORD came to the prophet Gad,
David’s seer, saying,  “Go and speak to David,
‘Thus the LORD says, “I am offering you three things;
choose for yourself one of them, which I will do to you.”’
So Gad came to David and told him,
and said to him,
“Shall seven years of famine come to you in your land?
Or will you flee three months before your foes while they pursue you?
Or shall there be three days’ pestilence in your land?
Now consider and see
what answer I shall return to Him who sent me.” 
Then David said to Gad,
“I am in great distress.
Let us now fall into the hand of the LORD
for His mercies are great,
but do not let me fall into the hand of man.”
2 Samuel 24:11-14
This is one of my prayers to my God. “Father, please let my children fall into Your hands, for Your mercy is great, please do not let them fall into the hands of man.” For me there is no worse thing than to not know where my children are or who has them.
It’s just not natural for a mother to not have all her chicks under her wing. This is why the hen will peck your eyes out and the dog bite your hand off and the bear knock your head off. Don’t mess with the babies!
Ecclesiastes 3:3 says…
A time to kill and a time to heal;
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
I joke that this momma will have a prison ministry if anyone ever lays a hand on one of my babies… but then again not so sure I am really joking.
Devotional Studies Through the Bible, Uncategorized

>God Hears Our Cries

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Do not fear, for God has heard …
then God opened her eyes
and she saw a well of water.
Genesis 21:17, 19
Hagar and Ishmael, who is now around the age of seventeen, have been sent away by Abraham. He sent them with food and water, but they used up their provisions before they found a new home. Hagar is now fearing for the life of her child. She leaves him under a bush and goes off to cry, for she cannot bear the sight of watching her son die of dehydration.
Hagar’s cries do not go unheard. The angel of God calls out to Hagar from heaven and says, “What is the matter with you, Hagar?” (Genesis 21:17). The angel tells her not to fear, and then he tells her that God is going to make a great nation out of Ishmael.
Another promise is given. Ishmael cannot die in the wilderness if God has promised to make a great nation from him. I think that Hagar believed this promise to be true and then God opened her eyes and she finally saw the well of water.
Once again we see in Scripture how God hears our cries. What peace we can have in knowing that we have a God who sees and a God who hears. He hears our cries, our laughter, our fears, and our praise. In Psalm 107, one of the key repeated phrases is “Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble; He delivered them out of their distresses.”
A closer look at this psalm reveals to us that those in Psalm 107:1–9 called out for salvation because they were lost.
They wandered in the wilderness in a desert region;
They did not find a way to an inhabited city.
They were hungry and thirsty;
Their soul fainted within them.
Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble;
He delivered them out of their distresses.
He led them also by a straight way,
To go to an inhabited city.
Psalm 107:4-7
In Psalm 107:10–22, those who call out are calling out because they have found themselves in prison, in chains, at the very gates of death because of their own rebellious ways.
There were those who dwelt in darkness
and in the shadow of death,
Prisoners in misery and chains,
Because they had rebelled against the words of God
And spurned the counsel of the Most High.
Therefore He humbled their heart with labor;
They stumbled and there was none to help.
Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble;
He saved them out of their distresses.
He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death
And broke their bands apart.
Psalm 107:10-14

In Psalm 107:23–32, those who call out are calling out because they are overwhelmed by outward circumstances beyond their control.
Those who go down to the sea in ships,
Who do business on great waters;
They have seen the works of the LORD,
And His wonders in the deep.
For He spoke and raised up a stormy wind,
Which lifted up the waves of the sea.
They rose up to the heavens, they went down to the depths;
Their soul melted away in their misery.
They reeled and staggered like a drunken man,
And were at their wits’ end.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
And He brought them out of their distresses.
He caused the storm to be still,
So that the waves of the sea were hushed.
Psalm 107:23-29
In all three cries, God delivers them. Whether they were lost sinners crying out for salvation, whether they had lived in open rebellion and spurned the counsel of God, or whether they were in a mess due to no reason of their own, God heard their cries.
God alone can open our eyes. When we cry out, He opens our eyes to the way out, the way to redemption, the way to hope. He opens our eyes to His mercy, His grace, to the light at the end of the tunnel. As God opened Hagar’s eyes to see the well of water in the wilderness, so He opens our eyes to the Living Water, His Son, Jesus Christ.
Oh Father,
That I might drink continually from Your well. That You would keep my eyes open to Your will and to Your ways. . Oh Father, how thankful I am that when I cry You hear me. How humbled I am to know that I do not have to fear in any situation, for Your loving-kindness is great. Even when I have found myself in the bottom of a pit that I dug with my own hands, when I cry out to You in true repentance, You will hear me.
Oh Father, may You be glorified in me. Help me, my Jesus, to walk in Your light, for I have died, and it is not I who live, but You who live in me.
My Jesus, it is in Your name I pray,
Amen.

Confessions of a Christian Wife, Uncategorized

>One Fine Day

>Oh me… it’s ball season again.

Two kids on two different teams… two new different schedules to add to an already crazy calendar.

This is life.

You know there are those days that flow wonderfully and I look back on those days and I think, if I could do this that day why can’t I manage it everyday?

I should have known today would be “one fine day” when the strange dog started barking right outside our front door before daylight, which started our inside dog barking before daylight, which woke up our 7 yr old before daylight.

I put the 7 year old back to bed, let the inside dog out to run off the strange outside dog then brought the inside dog back in and locked the doors and tried to be still for my quiet time with God before… well… my “quiet time before the house wakes up” just wasn’t going to happen on this fine day.   

Monday is co-op day. Love, love it! But it also means having me and my girls dressed and ready and packed and loaded down with whatever we need for the day and out the door by hopefully 8am. This usually is not that big of an issue, but today we added basketball season to our calendar.

Of course, my girls have to go and grow on us so we needed basketball shoes… and we needed a cop costume, because my Bekah had decided she must be a cop.

So after co-op set-up, co-op classes, and co-op break-down, we head out for shoes and costumes, finishing in just enough time to get to the first ball practice that ended at 6pm, then literally run out when it’s over to get across town to another gym for the second ball practice that had started at 6pm.

Of course we get there and can’t find the team… and why not? Well because this one’s practice is tomorrow night… and now I clearly remember writing that on the calendar at home… oh well.  

Did I mention the husband left to go out of town this morning for the week as well…
Oh and yeh… it’s hell week… again, ugh… so my temperament and patience… well lots of deep breaths today.

Yep, one fine day.

I think I might have managed to get through it without scarring my children too much with all the “pick a costume already!” and the “Look we’ll leave without one, I really am not all that excited about spending money on a costume you are going to wear maybe one time anyway, it’ll suit me just fine to walk out with nadda.”    

I mean good grief have you seen these costumes??? Fish-net stocking fire women for an 8-10 yr old little girl??? Really? And the nurse? My goodness, I looked at my Shelby and said, “You can be a real fireman, but sorry not a fish-net stocking one and ummm as for the nurse, does Aunt Tracy wear that to work? Yeh, I didn’t think so.”

So we left with one cop and one dragon slaying dazzling ninja.  
Made it to one ball practice.
Made it late to the other, to find out we didn’t have it all.

Then as I am still contemplating on whether to pout about my time mismanagement skills or just be glad I am going to get home an hour and half earlier than I expected, we had a momma deer and her spotted fawn step out of the woods into the road and stop right in front of our car. I had to come to a complete stop and my girls and I just watched this doe and her fawn and we all just giggled and smiled all the rest of the way home.

Yep, one fine day 🙂

Devotional Studies Through the Bible, Uncategorized

>Obedience is Evidence of Faith

>

Then Abraham circumcised his son Isaac
when he was eight days old,
as God had commanded him.
Genesis 21:4
Abraham and Sarah now have their promised son. Abraham is one hundred years old, and Sarah ninety years old. God showed Himself faithful. He showed His glory, His power, and His sovereignty over life. At the appointed time, Sarah conceived and bore Isaac (Genesis 21:2).
Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every event under heaven.” God had appointed the time of birth of this promised son just as He appointed the time of birth of His promised Son. “So you are to know and discern that from the issuing of a decree to restore and rebuild Jerusalem until Messiah the Prince there will be seven weeks and sixty-two weeks” (Daniel 9:25). The birth of the Christ has never been hidden. God revealed His coming in the Hebrew Bible. His appointed time had been recorded in the Scriptures for any who would hear and believe.
How long the wait must have seemed. Along the way, Abraham and Sarah had tried on their own— in their own human strength and wisdom—to bring about this promised son. Likewise, man has been trying in his own human strength and wisdom to bring about the promised seed of Genesis 3:15. Man knows that he is broken. He also knows that there is more to life than what we presently see. We just have to look through the history of mankind to see this revealed.
Religion is man’s attempt to get to God. All around the globe peoples, tribes, and nations have formed their own religions and designed their own gods, trying in their own strength and wisdom to fix their hearts and the hearts of their fellow man; trying through the worship of gods that they formed with their own hands and imaginations to get to that place of approval and peace that they feel is out there somewhere. The promise, however, would not come through any ability of man, but through the word of God.
In his life, Abraham worshiped God through his obedience to the word of God. Abraham and Sarah worshiped God in giving Him the glory for the birth of their son Isaac. Abraham was a man who practiced immediate obedience to the commands of God. He was not perfect, and he made mistakes along the way; but when God said go, he went. He did not delay in his obedience. He did not pick and choose which commands were the important ones and follow as he saw fit. He acted when the command was given, with full devotion to the best of his faith.
Our obedience is evidence of our faith. Our obedience to the Word of God is an act of worship. Let us spend today in worship, and may we give God the glory for the birth of the promised Son, Jesus Christ.
Oh Father,
Total, immediate, cheerful obedience—this is what You desire. Your commands are not given lightly, nor are they to be taken lightly. Your commands are not burdensome. They are not to be ignored, and our obedience to them is not to be delayed. You are God Almighty. You desire and require our best. Oh Father, that I might honor You with my best, my total commitment, recklessly abandoned to You alone. Oh Father, Your Word is good, and I will obey because I love You and I trust You.
My Jesus, it is in Your name I pray,
Amen
Devotional Studies Through the Bible, Uncategorized

>Sovereign Over Life

>

For the Lord had closed fast
all the wombs
of the household of Abimelech
because of Sarah, Abraham’s wife.
Genesis 20:18
God had kept Abimelech from touching Sarah. In fact, God had physically made Abimelech unable to go into Sarah, and He had also closed fast all the wombs of all the women in his household. There would be no baby making until Sarah was restored to Abraham.
We have to remember the promise that was given to Abraham and Sarah two chapters ago: “At this time next year, Sarah will have a son” (Genesis 18:14). The son that Sarah was to have was to be conceived with Abraham, not Abimelech. What a mess this could have been, but God’s plans will not be thwarted. God’s will shall be done. He has the power and authority to assure it, and He uses it in this situation. 
God is the one who opens the womb, and He is the one who closes it. He is the one who gives man his strength, and He is also the one who removes it. He is sovereign and in control of all things. Oh Church, do you understand this? Let this truth run its course through your mind, through your heart, through your soul.
Rebekah, Rachel, Sarah, and Hannah did not run to man to conceive a child. They ran to God. Before you put yourself in the hands of man and his ways, I beseech you, run to your God. Trust in Him. Seek His will. Time after time I have seen faithful women and men of God draw their line at further treatment. I have seen them trust in God and even abandon themselves in peace that it may not be meant for them to conceive, and then I have known God to open their wombs and have held their children in my arms.
I have also witnessed God open up the door of adoption and have seen the pure joy of a mother and father as they held this precious gift in their arms with the same love as if this child had come from their own bodies. Our God is good.
Oh Father,
You are looking out for us. We are the sheep, and You are the Good Shepherd. Sheep wander and make mistakes out of fear and ignorance, yet their shepherd intervenes and sees them safely to pasture. Thank you, God, for being my Shepherd. Thank you for the peace I have in You; the peace that comes in knowing that You are sovereign. Oh Father, that I would always trust in that sovereignty in every area and aspect of my life.
My Jesus it is in Your name I pray,
Amen.
Devotional Studies Through the Bible, Uncategorized

>Ignorance Is Not An Excuse

>

Then God said to him in the dream,
“Yes, I know
that in the integrity of your heart
you have done this,
and I also kept you
from sinning against Me.”
Genesis 20:6
Once again, Abraham has his wife lie. They are in the Negev and come across Abimelech, king of Gerar. Abimelech takes Sarah in as his wife. This amazes me in itself and makes me smile; we have to remember that at this time, Sarah is about ninety years old.
Now God appears to Abimelech in a dream and lets him know that Sarah is a married woman and he has no right to her as his wife; God actually says, “You are a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is married” (Genesis 20:3). God holds the marriage covenant to a very high standard, even if we sometimes do not.
Abimelech immediately begins to explain to God that he didn’t know that she was married, and God assures Abimelech that He knows that. God knows the integrity of our hearts, and He can keep us from sinning against Him when our actions come from a heart that truly did not know it was in the wrong.
Does that bring you peace?
It does me.
God could have struck Abimelech then, but He didn’t. Once again we see God’s mercy displayed. Once again we see God opening the eyes of man to His standard and making His ways known. Once again we see God not acting in secret, but giving man an opportunity to repent.
We need to understand that once the truth is known, we must make a choice. God gives Abimelech a choice: return Sarah, and live; keep her, and die. Even though Abimelech’s sin was committed in ignorance, he still had to make it right. He still needed to repent before God and be obedient to what he had heard in order to be saved.
Repent and be saved—the same choice God gives us. Even if we feel that we have sinned against God in ignorance; even if we were raised in a country or in a home that worshiped false gods or never spoke of the One True God, once we have heard, once we have seen, once we know, we must choose.
You know about Jesus Christ.
Receive him, and live; refuse him, and die.
Oh Father,
How grateful I am that You know my heart. What peace I have in knowing that when my words are twisted and distorted, when my emotions are manipulated, when someone is searching for evil against me, You know the truth. As long as I know that You know
I am without blame, what anyone else feels or thinks is irrelevant. As long as I am true to the truth that I know, my heart is at peace and it is well with my soul. My Jesus, thank You for the cross! Thank You for being a God who judges by the intent of the heart. You see not as man sees, but You see the heart (1 Samuel 16:7). Oh Father, may I make wise decisions when You have laid out the truth before me.
My Jesus, it is in your name I pray,
Amen.
Confessions of a Christian Wife, Uncategorized

>Volunteers Anonymous

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>This post is going back to the journal. Today we are traveling back in time to April 17, 2003…

Father,
Thank You for Your faithfulness. I love You Lord and I love my husband. Thank You for the assurance that me and Patrick were meant to be together. Thank You Father for humbling me and opening my eyes to the fact that I was neglecting my family in Your name. In trying to grow closer to You and being a light to the world, I was starting to keep my family, especially Patrick, in the dark. And my family is where Your light in me should shine the brightest. Thank You Father for Your discipline. I love You Lord.
In Jesus Name,
Amen  

Oh how I wish I could say that on April 17th, 2003 I conquered this struggle, but I can’t. It is a constant battle for me. Just this week we attended our Shelby’s basketball team meeting and the coach asked for volunteers to help assistants coach and keep book, automatically my hand is compelled to go up and I look at my husband and I know that even though I was an all-county player, even though I love coaching, even though I hate sitting on the sidelines for anything, even though I want to make the memories with my girls as “coach” I physically just cannot do this and most importantly God did not call me to do it.

As soon as we got in the truck to leave my girls were going but “Momma why didn’t you coach?” And my husband looks at me and says something like, “I saw you, I saw that hand trying to go up at the word “volunteer”, somebody says something about volunteering and automatically you think you have to be the one to do it.” 

It’s the truth. I am a hands on person. I never liked sitting the bench. I never want to just sit on the sidelines. I want to get my hands dirty. I want to be involved. I jump in either headfirst or with both feet, rarely do I cautiously test the waters with a little toe or contemplate the pros and cons. All I can see around me are the things that need done and the things I could help with and sometimes I forget to check with God and my husband first before I say “YES!”     

I used to honestly believe that if an opportunity presented itself it was because God had sent it and I was just to accept it and rejoice. I just wanted to serve Him and be used by Him to do anything! I never wanted to say no to God ever again and I did not ever want to live for myself again, only Him, to do His will, not mine.

I have come to realize that I am addicted to the validation that comes from serving. As a stay-at-home mom and housewife I do not receive awards or promotions. Rarely does anyone walk by and peek in and say,

“Mrs Vaughn, you did a wonderful job folding that laundry and getting that bathroom scrubbed to perfection. I think we will give you a raise”
or 
“Mrs Vaughn, you handled yourself so well today as you managed to balance that budget and meet all our monthly commitments and still manage to pull in a profit to stick in the savings for future investments, how about a promotion and a raise!” 
or
“Mrs Vaughn I understand that you’ve been on call 24/7 for the last 7 days as you nursed this child through this illness I think it’s time for some paid vacation”

And I suppose my worst frustration is the fact that the job is never really accomplished. The dishes will never all be done, the laundry will never all be clean, the bills will never all be paid… the sense of accomplishment comes in spurts and never lasts long because it’s not like you ever get to close the book on a task and stamp it with done. You are continuously cleaning up the same messes. And it seems no one appreciates the mess you clean up because within an hour all your hard-work is destroyed as though you never even did it.

But the truth is, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Not the frustrations, not the lack of awards and recognition, not the lack of a paycheck, because I do what I do because I love my God and I love my family. One mother’s day card, one hug, one thank you, one I love… makes it all worth it.

So as for the volunteering. I am going to serve. I have been called to serve. I am a missionary for Christ. I love ministry. I love helping others. I am called to ministry just as every believer is called to ministry. But I have learned that I cannot be all things to all people all the time. I cannot be a part of everything, no matter how much my heart longs to just get involved. It took me a while to understand the difference between serving God and doing church. Church is not something I do, it is who I am. If my marriage and children are missing the best of me under the guise of serving God, then something is off. I am overextended and am doing something that God did not call me to do.

Please know that I am far from victorious in this area of my life. I can even justify myself in my addiction by blaming my husband for not being understanding or too demanding or blaming my children for not respecting “my time”, yet this is what an addict does isn’t it?

Signs of volunteer addiction (adapted from signs of drug addiction)

1. Usage Increase – Over time, it is common for individuals addicted to volunteering to grow tolerant to the effects of normal volunteering. If someone you know seems to be increasing his/her volunteer time past the normal healthy allotted time within a 24 hr period, this is an indication that the are suffering from volunteer addiction
2. Change in Personality – Changes in a person’s normal behavior can be a sign of dependency. Shifts in energy, mood, and concentration may occur as every day responsibilities become secondary to the need for the validation that comes with volunteering.
3. Social Withdrawal – A person experiencing a dependency problem may withdraw from family, friends and choose the volunteer opportunity over quality time with spouse and children.
4. Ongoing Use – Continued usage after a volunteer opportunity has been accomplished will result in the person needing extensions on his/her time of service. The person might talk of how they are “still feeling needed” and need just a little longer on the task in order to get it done right. He or she might also complain frequently about those who refused to encourage and support them in their volunteering for one reason or another.
5. Time Spent on Volunteering – A dependant person will spend large amounts of time driving great distances and visiting multiple places just to volunteer. Watch for signs that he or she seems preoccupied with a quest for volunteer opportunities, demonstrating that the desire to volunteer has become their top priority.
6. Change in Daily Habits and Appearance – Personal hygiene may diminish as a result of a volunteer addiction. Sleeping and eating habits change, and a person may have a constant twitches and red, glazed eyes.
7. Neglects Responsibilities – A volunteer addict may neglect household chores and bills.
8. Increased Sensitivity – Normal sights, sounds and emotions might become overly stimulating to the person, they will become easily irritated and frustrated.
9. Blackouts and Forgetfulness – Another clear indication of volunteer addiction is when the person regularly forgets events that have taken place and appears to be suffering blackouts.
10. Defensiveness – When attempting to hide a volunteer addiction, abusers can become very defensive if they feel their secret is being discovered. They might even react to simple requests or questions by lashing out.

So

Hello, my name is Nicole. I am a Christian, a housewife, and a homeschool mom, and I am a volunteer addict. So below I have taken the 12 step program and adapted it for my addiction. May it be of help to fellow volunteer addicts.

THE TWELVE STEPS OF VOLUNTEERS ANONYMOUS
 

1. We admitted we were powerless over volunteering—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to
sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and sought to discover our own Spirit willed and God desired spiritual gift and limit our area of ministry to the one in which the Lord called and equipped us.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs committed when we were stressed due to overextending ourselves.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character and all things in our lives we said yes to when He said no.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings and grow us in His grace and the knowledge of His will for our lives.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong in taking on a volunteer opportunity, promptly admit it, and gracefully decline.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to other volunteers, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Devotional Studies Through the Bible, Uncategorized

>From Confusion To Christ

>

Now behold, I have two daughters
who have not had relations with man;
please let me bring them out to you,
and do to them whatever you like;
only do nothing to these men,
inasmuch as they have come
under the shelter of my roof.
Genesis 19:8
When I was around twenty-four, I purchased a new Bible because I was going to read through the Bible from beginning to end. When I read this verse I became angry. I was appalled that this was in the Bible. I was appalled that a man could offer his two virgin daughters to a mob to be abused. I was angry with God for this to even be recorded in His Word, and when I came to Judges 19:22–26 and read of the abuse of a man’s concubine, I put my Bible down and could read no further for days. I was hurt and confused. I didn’t understand. I had experienced rape, and the attitudes, the hearts of these men, made me nauseous.
After a while, God moved me to pick my Bible back up and continue my journey. I know now that it was the sweet whispers of the Holy Spirit drawing me with His “bonds of love” (Hosea 11:4). It was as if Jesus was standing at the door of my heart, knocking, and when I opened His Word to seek understanding from Him about what I had read, it was as if I also opened the door to my heart.
By the time I read to 1 Chronicles, I realized I was lost. I knew about God, but I did not know God. I realized that my heart had never been changed. I had never surrendered my life to Christ. He was no more my Lord than He was the Lord of the men who heartlessly abused these women. I needed Christ just as much as these men who made me nauseous needed Him.
These men were living out the effects of a diseased heart, a depraved mind, and a dead spirit. The sad thing is that all around the world there are men and women still subjected to this type of behavior. Nations without Christ place little importance on life and on innocence. Nations that suppress the truth in unrighteousness are filled with all kinds of darkness.
There is no end to the depravity of our minds without Christ. There is no limit to the evil deeds that we can commit when we turn our backs on God. We can point our fingers at others, but we must first point our fingers at ourselves.
We must stop comparing ourselves to others and compare ourselves to the standard of God’s righteousness. When we do, we see how greatly we need Him. We also see how desperately He is calling out to us, wooing us, beckoning us to him. We also can see how desperately the world needs him.
All around the globe, women are still experiencing the treatment we read about in Genesis 19:8. I wish fewer women would rally around the pro-choice agenda and more would rally around the global treatment of women, of young girls, as human beings. For “in the image of God He created him, male and female He created them” (Genesis 1:27).
What I have also learned through the Scriptures is that God does not enslave. God does not keep ignorant. God encourages freedom. He encourages intelligence. He created us in His image, and His desire is that we walk in Him—in His light, in His wisdom, and in His knowledge. Those who claim that believers in God are ignorant, weak, and foolish need to re-examine their history. Without the light of God, this world is a very dark place.
Oh Father,
What a privilege it is to be able to go in and share the love of Christ with women who have never known the value and worth that they hold in Your eyes; to be able to share with them that they are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). Even if the world around them does not change, if they knew the truth, the reality of the depths of Your love, if they knew their true worth, oh Father, they could rejoice, no matter their outward circumstance. Oh Father, I lift these women up to You. I know not their names, not their countries, not their exact circumstances, but you do. Oh Father, may your Holy Spirit sweetly whisper in their ears and may You draw them with your bonds of love.
My Jesus, it is in Your name I pray,
Amen.

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