Category Archives: Confessions of a Christian Wife

Confessions of a Christian Wife

>Can I Get An Amen!

>One of the attendant aims of missional evangelicalism is to challenge the compartmentalizing of the Christian faith that we see within the Western church. We are fantastic at itemizing our schedules, and even if we don’t assign God a very large bracket, we are constantly remorseful that we “haven’t made much time for him.” While such compartmentalizing — as if “time with God” can or should be hermetically sealed off from everything else — is a natural symptom of our culture and environment, it also reflects a bad theology.

The truth is, the day does not belong to us. It is not our day to do with as we please. We serve a sovereign God. He created the end from the beginning, knows our future exhaustively, and is firmly in control. He made our days and they belong to him. As such, isn’t it a bit arrogant to begin with the idea that each day is ours and then worry about fitting God in? Instead, we should work at the humble awe of knowing all of our moments, every millisecond, waking or sleeping, are perfectly accounted for within the economy of heaven.

Let us stake the flag of Christ’s kingdom into the soil of our first waking moment. Drink your coffee when you get up, of course, but drink it to the glory of God. Then carry on in this way all day, no matter the task, be it menial or notable, so that each day may be a living prayer that God’s will will be done on earth as it is in heaven. This is what it means to live a gospel-saturated life: it means being so conscious of the greatness of the gospel that changing diapers or cutting the grass is as much an act of worship as singing a praise chorus in a church service….

Jesus Christ is Lord over my heart, and he is Lord over my hands, and he is Lord over what I do with these hands, and he is Lord over what I say in my heart while I’m doing it. In submitting to the lordship of Christ, then, I do not treat washing dishes as wasting time I could be spending doing something “meaningful,” but rather as a service to those who eat in my home, as a service to those who would have to wash the dishes if I did not, and as an offering of thanksgiving to God that I have food to eat, dishes to eat it on, and running water inside my home to clean with.

To paraphrase C. S. Lewis, there is not a square inch of our lives that is not claimed by God and counterclaimed by ourselves. If we believe God is sovereign, however, we will see all of life as mission and be led to submit the square inches we otherwise hold so tightly to the Maker of inches and hands.

~ Jared Wilson from Gospel Wakefulness

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Oh wow, I love this!
How releasing, how liberating is it to hear these words?
Are you like me?
Do you struggle with guilt on whether or not you are doing enough for the glory of God?

Have you ever said, if I had have known Christ before I would have been on that mission field?
I wish I could be on a plane right now to that orphanage…
What could I be doing for You God if I had not the “responsibilities” I have in this world?
Or simply, I didn’t make enough time for You today God.
Oh my goodness to be reminded that God is not waiting to be “fit” into “our” schedule.
I never before thought about how arrogant that really sounded.

Just knowing that all that I do is for the glory of the gospel, or at least it should be, does two things:

1) Gives every area of life meaning and purpose for the glory of the gospel of God
2) Reminds us that every area of life should be lived in awareness that it has meaning and purpose for the glory of the gospel of God

God is in our everything… our every moment… our every day…
I know this, I really already do, but it is always wonderful and breathtaking to be reminded of this truth.

Hopefully one day I will fully “get it” 🙂

Confessions of a Christian Wife, Uncategorized

>Lifting Grace

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Now the young lady pleased him
and found favor with him.
Esther 2:9

Esther exhibited a grace-filled charm and elegance. In this verse, the literal translation of the original language says, “She lifted up grace before his face.” Isn’t that a beautiful expression? Though she was brought to the harem and participated in these things reluctantly, Esther did not display a sour attitude. I’m convinced she sensed God’s hand in her situation. Why else would she have been there? ~ Swindoll


I would have to say that one of the most important lessons that God is teaching me in and through my marriage is how to give grace. Isn’t it a funny thing how we seem to be able to easily offer grace to the stranger on the street, to the hurting on the mission field, to the friend that’s lost as a goose, but we will find ourselves unwilling to give grace to our own spouse.

We place this expectation of perfection on them and this unspoken demand that they should be able to read our minds and know exactly what we need and want, when we need and want it, the way we need and want it. We expect them never to be angry or frustrated or make a mistake and they simply must just understand us perfectly.

My husband and I have finally learned in our 13 years of marriage that we filter things differently. We see things differently. We understand things differently. We interpret things differently. It took us a while to realize that we have a breakdown in communication between the female and male way of thinking and doing.

One of the most powerful illustrations of the realization I have for this breakdown happened not long ago.
You see I am not “Betty Crocker” at all. I can cook, but I do not love to cook. If I am given the slightest out on cooking I am taking it.

“Oh, your mother wants us to come out for dinner tonight, well great!” (I truly love my mother-in-laws cooking!)
“You’re still full from a late lunch? Okay, the girls and I will have a bowl of cereal.”
“You want to go eat where? That’s sounds like a plan to me.”

Like I said I can cook and usually my food is pretty tasty, but I am a klutz in the kitchen. I literally have kitchen wars battle scars all over my arms and hands from the past 13 years of cooking for my husband.
I always manage to make a mess.  I will spill something, boil something over, knock something over, freakish things will happen to me in the kitchen when I am just tying to do the simplest thing.

Once I was in the middle of making out of the box mac & cheese and I go to shake down the pack of powdered cheese and in mid shake the package opens itself and me and my kitchen are now covered in powdered cheese. I found scattered powdered cheese for weeks.

Now on the opposite end my husband loves to cook and he is a wonderful cook. I mean he is in the “he could do this for a living if he wanted to” category of good. And while I am here in my kitchen klutz mode with battle scars and powdered cheese I felt that I could never meet his standard of cooking and that he was comparing me to all those women on the Food Network who are talking about feeding their men, oh you know, the Barefoot Contessa and her Jeffrey and Paula Dean and her Michael.
I mean I could never be them.

So this is where my cooking frustration is rooted.

Now back to the realization illustration… On one particular day I am cooking dinner and the usual freakish things and injuries are taking place as I attempt to prepare this meal. My husband is in the kitchen and I mouth off my usual “This is why I hate cooking!”  

As I mouthed how I hated cooking, what my husband heard was “I hate taking care of you!”

Ouch!

Of course, me, knowing what I knew about myself, when he let me know this was what he heard, I grew indignant at his response. I thought how in the world can you even think such a thing! That’s ridiculous!

Major miscommunication.

Because in truth what I wanted was my husband to see how much I sacrifice in order to take care of him by the fact that I am willing to suffer the battle scars and the messes made by my kitchen klutzdom. But the words coming out of my mouth counter-acted my actions.

I displayed a sour attitude and I did not lift up grace to my husband. I was playing the martyr. I think that possibly I was even trying to manipulate him through guilt into saying something encouraging to me as I struggled there before the stove. I was sending signals and expecting to hear words of his great appreciation as he acknowledged my willing sacrifice to do this cooking thing I hated so much just because I loved him.
I certainly was not expecting that he would interpret my words as hating to take care of him and our family.

Major backfire.

So here is where grace comes in. My husband knows me very well. Most likely better than any other mortal on the earth besides my parents, but he cannot read my mind. I know my husband very well. Most likely more than any other mortal on the earth besides his parents, but I cannot read his mind.

Neither of us are perfect.
Neither of us can assume everything about the other.
Both of us are growing and changing as we grow in the knowledge of the Lord and in His wisdom.
Both of us have flesh that grows weary and frustrated and sick.
Both of us have needs and wants and particular ways we prefer to have things done.
We understand each other perty well, but not yet perfectly, but we are pressing on for maturity.

As we press on we must lift up grace. If we are to receive grace we must first be willing to give grace. The only way we are able to receive the grace of God is because God was first willing to give it to us. Grace is a gift. Ladies, if we have received grace from God we can give it to our husbands. Let us lavish grace and mercy on them the way that God has lavished His on us.

In Him we have redemption through His blood,
the forgiveness of our trespasses,
according to the riches of His grace 
which He lavished on us.
In all wisdom and insight 
He made known to us the mystery of His will,
according to His kind intention
which He purposed in Him.
Ephesians 1:7-9
Notice that in the grace that was lavished on us God made known the mystery of His will. He does not expect us to read His mind or figure Him out by sending “signals”. In His offered grace He flat out makes known what He wants from us, what He needs from us, and the way He prefers it to be done and also notice it was according to His kind intention, not finger-shaking, head-bobbing, foot-stomping, harsh demand.
So your challenges:
1) Lift up grace before his face. Think of at least one thing that you have been “giving signals” over and then have pouted over because he didn’t get the signal. Offer him grace. Don’t assume he is ignoring the “signal”. Go to him and make known the mystery of your will and do it with kindness not in an accusatory or belittling tone.  
2) Look for God’s hand in a situation that you are not particularly happy to be in. Think of at least one thing that you do for your husband with “a sour attitude” and turn that sour attitude into sweet submission trusting that God’s hand is at work in him and in you and in your marriage.
Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries

>Baggage

>Your baggage is the sum total of your life experiences, good and bad. It includes personality traits, ways of thinking, emotional states, habits, hang-ups, feelings about yourself, personal preferences, vices. You can dress up your baggage or disguise it, but somehow, someway, sometime it’s going to be exposed. And if you are not prepared to deal with it- or if you don’t deal with it- you’re going to be in big trouble… Even if you try to keep it out of sight and out of mind, inevitably you or your spouse will trip over it, and someone may get hurt
~ Betty Robison

I am currently reading a book by James & Betty Robison, Living in Love so far it has been a great read and filled with wonderful and helpful information for those in marriage or those who plan one day to be married.

I read this quote yesterday and it made me wonder how many marriages have ended simply because someone did not want to deal with their own baggage?

I think we have misconstrued “baggage” as the things we can only see with our eyes.
You know out-of wedlock children, past failed marriages, rough family, prison records, drug alcohol abuse, past sexual abuse, and so on.
But we seem to want to deny the rest of the “baggage” and call it, “hey that’s just me, get over it”
Or we want to convince our spouse that they really just did not trip over our “baggage” and get hurt because our “baggage” was not big enough to be that hurt by, so it must have been a result of tripping over their own “baggage”… not ours. 

James goes on in this chapter to say “If you want to live in love with your mate, you can’t be held captive by past pain or present problems, and you can’t live your life in denial.”

Have you ever been in the airport and been the one who got chosen out of all those in line to have your baggage opened and rummaged through and dumped out for all to see?
It is not a pleasant experience. And this was baggage that you were not trying to hide…

Having our baggage exposed can feel humiliating and even more so when our hidden baggage peaks out and is tripped over by someone else… so we live trying to keep it hidden… And in the process of doing this we just keep adding to our baggage.

I truly believe that one of the reasons God ordained marriage was so that we would have another person in this life who loved us and truly knew us. That’s one of the things that causes me to fall deeper and deeper in love with my Jesus… He knows all my baggage and yet He loves me anyway.

How awesome would it be in your marriage if you could say my spouse knows all my baggage… and they love me anyway.
How secure would that relationship be?  

I am still learning to get there with my spouse.

I am the person who says the sun never goes down on my anger, because I can go to bed on it and wake up and pretend it never happened… that’s my coping mechanism… but the thing is it did happen and all the pretending and blocking in the world is not going to change that.

I am also the person who would rather run, or say, it’s fine, than let someone know they hurt me. I had rather wipe the slate clean and “start over”… however, the slate is only wiped clean in Christ and Christ only cleanses what He first exposes…

So how about you…?

Have you ever considered that “baggage” is made up of “the sum total of your life experiences, good and bad. It includes personality traits, ways of thinking, emotional states, habits, hang-ups, feelings about yourself, personal preferences, vices.”?

Think about it and see if maybe you have been tripping over more baggage than you even realized was there hidden…

Confessions of a Christian Wife, Uncategorized

>Kindle Afresh

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For this reason I remind you
to kindle afresh the gift of God which is in you
through the laying on of my hands.
1 Timothy 1:6
I read this today in my quiet time… and I think maybe this is where I am right now. I need this gift of God which is in me kindled afresh. I feel drained and it’s not a physical drain… it’s a spiritual and emotional drain. I need kindled afresh, but I don’t know how.
And exactly who lays hands on the female teacher in the southern baptist church?
Who kindles me afresh?
About ten years ago Kay Arthur laid hands on me and prayed over me and I have held on to that for all these years… I have had hands laid on me since then to pray for me during my daughter’s illnesses and through life struggles… but I can’t recall another time when the gift of God that is in me was kindled afresh by the laying on of hands by anyone in leadership in my church… why is that?
I have been in meetings that have reminded me of my responsibilities, my obligations, and have sat through messages that have reminded me of the burden that I carry as a teacher and how important it is to accurately handle the Word of God… but other than breakfast before a meeting and a thank you for serving as a teacher… that’s it.
I have a weight and a great fear of teaching something wrong… because I am still learning myself… I have much opposition against my study time and writing time and I have reached a point that I often wonder if I am in the right place doing the right thing because I often feel so alone…
Here lately the thought of quitting it all and throwing in the towel is ever present… It’s a thought that I wrestle with a lot here lately…  Quit teaching. Quit blogging. Quit trying. Just quit.  
Yes I could go to a conference and receive a spiritual boost, but that costs money spent solely on me and time away from home and my responsibilities as wife and mother and keeper of the house… and I don’t get a check… so that’s just more worry on the bill thing that I don’t financially contribute to…

The easy thing to do…

Put the kids back in public school and get a job
(house would stay clean because we would never be in it and could lose/lessen paying bills worry with extra pay check)
Pew sit on Sunday and Wednesday
(lose fear of teaching something wrong and no more struggles over study time and spiritual drain)
Stop writing
(no more frustrations over book sales and/or struggles over writing time and wondering if anyone is even reading)
Become solely focused on husband and children
(that way I might forget that I am an individual with hopes and dreams and desires to be used by God to do amazing things for His kingdom and bring much glory to my Savior)

Hmmmmmm I don’t know…

I have dropped teaching responsibilities thinking that I was just on overload… but no, that didn’t help.
I have been on several “vacations” one in August when I tagged along on my husband’s business trip, September for our family vacation, and now when my girls and I were invited to tag along with my in-laws for my Daddy-in-laws golf tournament… in these I thought if I just “got away” for a while all would come back into perspective… but no, that hasn’t helped. 

So whatever I am going through is all me, because no matter what I change externally, my internal chaos remains… I can’t get away from me no matter what else I change.

Maybe I am just having a pity party and I need to get over it and suck it up…  

Maybe I am under attack because God is up to something and moving and Satan is busy distracting…
Maybe I just need kindled afresh…

So has anyone else been here?
Ladies?
Teachers?

Or am I really just as alone and crazy as I feel right now?

Confessions of a Christian Wife

Life Is A Funny Thing

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Life is a funny thing.

I remember when my sister had her wreck a little over a year ago… we were sitting in the hospital waiting room not knowing if she would live and if she did, what would be her life from this point. While we were there in the hospital our church was experiencing the spiritual high of Judgment Seat.

Now this year I sit here at the beach and back at home my sister-in-law has just received the news that she will be facing chemotherapy…

It is a hard pressed thing to think of how on the same day at the very same moment in time one person is experiencing the most wonderful day of their life… while another the absolute worst… and yet God is right there in the midst of both at the same time.

My sister’s wreck was probably the first time that this realization ever really hit home.

What it taught me was to be aware…

Not to beware,
but BE AWARE.

I pay more attention now to the hurts of others when before when I would get lost in my most wonderful moments and be completely oblivious to the one beside me who was having the absolute worst moment. I did not do it on purpose… it just was not in my scope… but now it is.

I think this might be one of the reasons the Holy Spirit had Paul write,

With all prayer and petition
pray at all times in the Spirit,
and with this in view,
be on the alert with all perseverance
and petition for all the saints
Ephesians 6:18 
I have learned to be more alert to the hurts around me… to pray… to be more purposeful to send that text, that email, that message, just to let someone know they are on my mind. I am more purposeful to stop and pray and when I have great news I remember those who have just heard bad news… and then in the like… when I have bad news I can rejoice that some where someone else has just had great news.
It’s a funny thing to learn to be thankful in both, to rejoice in good times and bad, to know that God is always right there in the midst of them both.
Rejoice in the Lord always;
again I will say,
rejoice!
Philippians 4:4
Confessions of a Christian Wife

>Strong Enough

>So have you ever had one of those segments in time of life where you felt completely overwhelmed but really just could not figure out why…

I am there…

It’s a weird place.

I heard this song coming home today:

I am in a time right now where I feel like I am never going to “catch up”. It’s the never ending running behind syndrome… not being able to relax because you know you have to be forgetting to do something… but for the life of you, you can’t think of what it is…

I heard the words to this song “You must, You must think I’m strong, to give me what I’m going through… ”

No temptation has overtaken you
but such as is common to man;
and God is faithful,
who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able,
but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also,
so that you will be able to endure it. 
2 Corinthians 10:13
 
The truth is I am not going through anything right now in comparison to what many are going through… but right now I am in a place of internal struggles, internal turmoil, my mind can’t settle… the “to do” list has not even helped… ugh it’s frustrating. I feel detached if that makes any sense… kind of on the outside looking in sorta thing. I can feel the walls of self protection trying to go up…
 
Yep, it’s a weird place
 
But I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength… even sort out this crazy brain of mine.
 
While this song was playing my youngest said “Momma, you know you really didn’t give me life… Jesus did.” 
I then said, “Yes, He just let me give birth to you and then trusted me with you to raise.”
Then she said “Momma, you can’t do all things in Christ here on earth.”
I just looked at her with a question.
She then said, “You can’t fly in Christ when you’re here. You have to learn to walk before you can fly…”  
 
Oh me… I guess I am still learning to walk… but oh how I long to fly.
There’s just nothing like having God speak to you through your seven year old child 🙂
Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries

>Another View

>I am typing this right now as someone who is totally spent… yet filled up and overflowing with a joy that brings tears to my eyes even now as I type…

God is good.

Having read many of my dear brothers and sisters in Christ blog posts over the past few weeks about the dangers of “celebrating” the Halloween thing and that we should just stay home and not acknowledge the day in any way… some even under the conviction that a simple fall festival should not even be put on by a church due to the fact that it was just a twisting for us as believers to be able to celebrate the season and not feel guilty about it just to get what we want…

This was one of my responses to just one of the post I read:

“The earth is the LORD’S, and all it contains, The world, and those who dwell in it.” (Psalm 24:1), “Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity …of God who makes all things.” (Eccles 11:5), “For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. He is also head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything.” (Col 1:16-18), “And every day, in the temple and from house to house, they kept right on teaching and preaching Jesus as the Christ” (Acts 5:42)Every day belongs to God… even October 31st. I refuse to bow down and let Satan have any claim on anything that belongs to God. Satan takes what belonged to God and perverts it and twists it and makes it crooked… he created nothing.
We as the church are to make straight the way, clear the path in the wilderness… we can’t clear the way or shine a light shut in and hunkered down in our homes.
We are to be a testimony and witness to Christ everyday and especially when and where darkness abounds. Those who celebrate this day of darkness as the Day of Darkness do so because they desperately need Christ.
Our church does a fall drama called The Judgment Seat

this week and we have had the opportunity to share Christ with over 35,000 people on this day, this season, just because we have refused to give this day over to the enemy…
I personally had the opportunity a couple of years ago at JS to spend over an hour sharing the gospel and the Word of God with two Wiccans who came through our drama… our theme that year was about witchcraft… I would have not had that opportunity if I had of been at home.
In the words of AW Tozer…”It’s all about the motive”

October 31 at 8:23am” 

You see The Judgment Seat is my church’s largest outreach project, financially and in every other way. It consumes our entire church body and we also must have help from our surrounding churches in the area. So it pulls the entire body of Christ together. We had Methodist serving with us, Assembly of God serving with us, and so on…. It was the entire body of Christ pulled together focused on one thing… the exaltation of Christ. 

We have chosen not to ignore this day, but to take it and use it for the Kingdom of God. Making the most of every opportunity (Eph 5:16, Col 4:5). This is what we do… and it is by no means to twist this day and use it for what we want. It is for us to be spent for Christ.

Each year our theme is prayed over and the theme for the next JS is usually chosen within weeks of the finished JS. This years theme was domestic violence and the God given responsibility of the father as the head of the household. I cannot begin to tell you the number of kids who came through who were counseled over their home life or lack of. We have a generation of orphans due to absent parents. Fathers who think they can abdicate their headship and mothers who have decided a boyfriend is more important than raising their children alone…

It is indeed heart wrenching.

This year at Judgment Seat we were able to present the gospel to 2088 souls. We know that 38 of those received Christ as their Savior this week. We know that 12 souls rededicated their lives to Christ this week. We know that 7 souls came forward to make sure they really did know Christ this week. Countless others just needed to talk…

These are who we know of because they were so moved they took the extra opportunity at the end to step out of their crowd and come and talk with one of of our counselors… however I don’t know of one that came through untouched.

Here is a testimony of one of our visitors… and this is why we, at our church, do what we do…

First Time Visit At The Judgment Seat

Yes, my children dress up and go out to participate in truck or treat’s.
No, we do not dress up in the gore, no witches, no vampires, no ghosts, ets.
However this year my ten year old chose to serve in Judgment Seat. She chose changing dirty diapers and helping take care of the workers kids over the candy, over the dressing up, because although we do not forbid the recognition of this day in our home, we don’t build it up either.
When my kids hear Halloween, they think Judgment Seat and they can’t wait for the day they are old enough to be a part of this amazing ministry to our community!

Confessions of a Christian Wife

>Calgon Take Me Away

>Do not let the calm and reasonable “Train Up A Child” posts fool you… this Christian housewife and momma is on edge.

It is Judgment Seat week and the tired has set in, along with a dull headache due to lack of sleep.

Nice left me about 10:30pm last night when I threw the semi-black duct tape across the basement that is used for our Hell scene because it would not cooperate.

So last night it was after midnight before I got into bed again… and then my stupid dog has me up at 2:30 in the morning. I thought that maybe, just maybe I would leave him in the hall for the night…

Oh yeh did I mention that my husband has been in Connecticut since Tuesday… (ugh… deep sigh….)

Usually when I am in the bedroom the dog lays down at the end of the hall by our door and he stays there. He follows me where ever I go… I think it must be because I am the one who usually feeds him… because he is not always the favorite on my list.

Anyway, at 2:30am he begins whining and snorting in the bulldog kind of way and so I get up and take him outside. So here I am out in the middle of my front yard in my pj’s at 2:30 in the morning. The dog does his business and I call him back in and he just looks at me like, “what? you talking to me?” 

I go in the house to find the leash.
Can I find the leash at 2:30 in the morning?
Of course not!

Our dog doesn’t have a collar on, because he stays in the house and the collar tears him up for some reason, he will scratch at it until he removes all his hair and makes sores. So no collar. The leash is a rope that is threaded and fits around his head… it’s a vet leash.

Well I finally get him to come in the house and call him to his kennel for bed…  
Does he come?
Of course not!
He runs down the hall and parks it in his corner.
I think, well okay, maybe he really did just have to go and relieve himself and he will be quiet the rest of the night.

I finally crawl back in the bed.

Guess who starts whining again just about the time I am at that moment of drifting off into oblivion?
Ugh!
Up again.
This time I am going to put the dog up. I must sleep.

I call him to the kennel again.
Does he come?
Of course not!

So here I am with a death grip around the nape of my dog’s neck dragging this 75 lb dog through the house to his kennel…
Oh he’s going in!

Finally sleep.

Then morning comes… and I realize that sometime this week I lost every floor in my house and every table and counter top… they are no where to be found. All I can find is dirty dishes and paper and toys and I think there are at least 8 sets of shoes in the living room floor and the garbage can runneth over… all of them!

I hit the floor finding the floor, doing laundry, dishes…oh my I need my coffee!
Quiet time?
Nope didn’t happen this morning.

And my morning attitude showed it…

I had to confess to my girls that their mom is on overload… with a short fuse today… tired… with a dull headache… a husband that’s still out of town… a dog that is aggravating as all get out… a house that is a wreck… a Mary Kay order to divide with totals to tally… and it’s bill day… the fact is I just need grace upon grace today…

And some BC Powders and more coffee probably wouldn’t hurt.

Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries

>Remembering Priorities

>We can be saved but choose to spend our lives in fruitless activity (1 Corin 3:15). On the other hand, we can understand our salvation to such a depth that every moment becomes an offering given back to God. Our works will not be tested by their appearances, our level of enjoyment, or others’ opinions. It’s the fire of God that will reveal if we have lived with this world or the next in mind.
—Regina Franklin

The other day my girls had basketball practice. I was sitting and spectating the practice. I brought my current Precept study to work on while I was there. I am better able to sit back with my mouth shut if I bring something else to focus on while I am there. The coach in me has a tendency to just rise up and I am always so thrilled to see dad’s involved in things these days that I try to keep my mouth shut when there’s actually a dad, a man, leading. 

Anyway I am sitting and watching and there are also other teams practicing and other kids just in the gym. I spot a mom working with her daughter on her shots and dribbles and instantly I feel condemnation. I think how I haven’t worked with my girl out in the yard or in the gym like I should have. I know basketball. I played. I know the game. I have even helped coach in the past. My girls are both very athletic and determined and competitive. I think at this time that I am failing them because I am not helping them reach their potential in this area and that maybe I need to devote more time to teaching them basketball skills.

As I am feeling all this condemnation one of the little girls in the gym comes and sits beside me.

She sees my Bible open and my Precept notebook and she asks me what I am doing.

I shared that I was working on my Bible study homework and I told her how I was teaching a study on spiritual gifts. She looked at me like a deer in headlights. I then explained how God gives us all a spiritual gift when we receive Jesus as our Savior so that we can serve Him and His body.

She still looked lost and said “what?”

So I shared that a spiritual gift is how the Holy Spirit works through us and shows Himself in and through us.

She still looked lost.

I then shared that when we understand that we are a sinner and we believe that Jesus was born and that He lived and that He died on the cross for our sins and we ask Him to forgive us our sin and we receive Jesus as our Lord and Savior, He then puts His Spirit in us so that He is always with us and our spiritual gifts come from His Spirit in us.

She then said, “oh… we don’t go to church, we just don’t have time, you know how it is…”

I smiled and said, “yep, it’s very easy to get out of the habit of going to church, but it’s really important that we find the time…”
She then grabbed her basketball and was off to play again.

I then remembered my priorities.

Yes, I could devote hours out in the yard or in the gym with my girls perfecting their lay-ups and jump shots, but in the light of eternity is that really time well spent if it means I sacrifice the hours needed to perfect them in Christ?

Yes practice on the court can make wonderful memories and yes it is good to be an active part of teaching our children in every area and aspect of life.
Yes I can teach my children eternal spiritual things and temporal things and sports are wonderful to teach our children discipline, determination, teamwork, and how to win and lose in life…
But let us always be purposeful to keep all things in the right place of priority.

But Martha was distracted with all her preparations;
and she came up to Him and said,
“Lord, do You not care that my sister
has left me to do all the serving alone?
Then tell her to help me.” 
But the Lord answered and said to her,
“Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; 
but only one thing is necessary,
for Mary has chosen the good part,
which shall not be taken away from her.”
John 10:40-42
Confessions of a Christian Wife

>Lessons Learned The Hard Way

>I never really know what I am going to find when I pull out an old notebook. I am about to place a Mary Kay order and my aunt asked me to look up a color eyeshadow and lipliner she used a few years ago, so I went to my notebook that held all my MK order stuff. I kept a list of the regular products my customers used so I could keep those products in stock. I haven’t kept stock for a while, so it’s been at least three to four years since I have been in this notebook. As I was looking through the pages for my aunts favorite stuff I discovered a list I had made in the back of this notebook’s pages titled, Lessons Learned the Hard Way. It might have been up to seven years ago that this list was made.

So I thought I would share: (paranthesis and italics not in original list)

Lessons Learned the Hard Way 
 
1. Parents are not stupid
2. Teenage and young adult men usually are “dogs” (yet they will rise to the bar if the ladies will set them)
3. Love is not a feeling, it is a choice
4. Your sins really do find you out
5. Actions do have consequences
6. Marriage is work
7. Sex is for one woman and one man in marriage for one life
8. Real intimacy comes through communication and trust not sex
9. A guy cannot make me whole
10. A baby cannot make me whole
11. The borrower truly is slave to the lender
12. Friends usually are not “friends forever” (but there truly can be a forever faithful few in your life)
13. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder (physical absence with present consistent communication yes, but absence with zero communication, I still think no) 
14. The love of money really is the root of all evil
15. If your parents tell you they love you and never put you down in any way count your blessings (I never realized how special my parents were until I began ministering to youth through the Pregnancy Resource Center)
16. High School is really only a very very very small part of our entire life
17. God’s way is the best way
18. Labor and delivery is the easy part
19. People are naturally bad we have to be taught how to be good and then choose to walk in it
20. Abortion is murder to an unborn child and a mother’s spirit
21. Dating is overrated
22. Bad company does corrupt good morals
23. What you watch and hear does affect how you think and your thoughts eventually become your actions
24. I don’t have all the answers
25. I am far from perfect and have too many logs in my own eye to condemn you over the splinter in yours
26. The devil is real and he does not like me
27. Jesus is real and he forgives completely those who ask and mean it and walk away from what they asked forgiveness for
28. You cannot hide from God
29. Words do hurt
 
 
So got any hard learned lessons to add to the list? 
If so add away 🙂