Category Archives: Confessions of a Christian Wife

Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries, Uncategorized

>Ministry and Motherhood are Messy

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>This is a post a wrote in 2010… but it remains a prayer and point of focus as I walk in 2012…

I began 2010 reading through the Proverbs. My prayer for 2010 was “Lord increase me in wisdom, Your wisdom.” Little did I know how much I would need these proverbs as 2010 came rolling in. I thank my God for His Word.

As I studied I came to a particular proverb and out in the margin beside this proverb I have noted “serving the Lord and kids in the house” with a smiley face underneath my little note.

“Where no oxen are, the manger is clean,

but much revenue comes by the strength of the ox.”
Proverbs 14:4

I am by birth, by nature, by DNA, a clean freak and a perfectionist. It was once said that you could eat off of my floors. I would have your cup cleaned and in the cabinet before you even finished setting it down from your last swallow.
Then came a baby…then came salvation in Christ…then came another baby…!
Needless to say things changed.
I realized I could have a perfectly clean house or I could have a life that imparted life to others. God says to choose life, so I chose life.

Our homes, our church, our ministries all relate to this verse.
Will we sacrifice a clean manger for the revenue of life…eternal life?

One thing I learned was that I could dust everyday and still when I got up the next morning the dust was back again. I could wash clothes all day and still the hamper would fill up again. I could mop and make my floors shine everyday, but still someone would walk on them and leave their prints behind.

Then I looked at my children and no matter what I did I couldn’t make them infants again, I couldn’t make the sunshine come back out so I could take them to the park now that the house was clean. I won’t be able to make them little leagers again so that I can coach and teach them. I can’t make those adoring, innocent eyes, so filled with love and trust, turn back to me after I have repeatedly told them I don’t have the time for them.
Trust me I’m still learning to place my priorities, but I am getting better.
Does the house ever get clean?
Yes it does. But it is now in the balance.

In our churches…if we want a church that is full of life…guess what…kool-aid gets spilled on the carpet…the gym floor gets dirty…the paint on the wall gets nicked…but each spill, each nick, each mark was made from a life that was there and heard the message of Jesus Christ?

Isn’t it worth it?

In our ministries…ministry is messy! We make our plans, but they don’t always go according to schedule. People don’t always respond the way we think they should. If we didn’t minister to people then we could have a clean, well-organized manger…but what revenue would we have to show for our ministry?

So Mom’s don’t stress over the house. I mean keep the roaches away and make sure there’s nothing growing on the dishes stuck under the bed and try to keep clean underwear for everyone…but I promise you the dust will be back in the morning!

Church instead of frowning at the nicks, stains, and dirt…pray salvation and the grace of God over the one who made the mark and pray that God will fill your walls with more souls to make more stains!

The ministry…it’s messy.

But God is in control, remember it’s all about HIM.
Confessions of a Christian Wife, Poetry, Proven Path Ministries, Uncategorized

There Is Hope

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PPM-3.jpg

As Walter Brueggemann put it, “This family (and with it the whole family of Genesis 1–11) has played out its future and has nowhere else to go. Barrenness is the way of human history. It is an effective metaphor for hopelessness. There is no foreseeable future. There is no human power to invent a future.”

Then, the story turns with these simple words: “The Lord . . . said . . .” (Gen 12:1). God spoke into the barrenness and chaos. It was as if He said, You’ve done your best, and this is where it has gotten you—now step aside.

Still early in the Genesis story, these words remind us of another time God spoke into darkness and chaos. Before God began to create, the “earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters.” Into nothing, “God said . . . ” God spoke and light erupted, vegetation blossomed, humans appeared. This is still what happens whenever God speaks.

—Winn Collier

You know… I don’t know where you are today. I don’t know the barrenness of your heart or the possible chaos of your soul. I don’t know if you are in a place where it seems that life is crumbling down all around you and you feel as though you are standing alone in the midst of all the broken pieces… but I do know that our Creator God can speak life and order and healing into whatever you are going through. I do know that He has not forsaken you, I do know that you are not alone… no matter how alone you feel.

Open up His Word and hear Him speak.

Stop trying to do it all on your own… you were never meant to.

God is there and I guarantee you that there is someone whose name is on your mind right now that you know would be there for you if they just knew what was going on. You may not have ever really spent a lot of time together. You may not have ever even talked to them. You may not know them at all, but have just seen them interact with others… but their name, their face, is before you now for a reason as you stand among the broken pieces.

Don’t let pride or fear of rejection or condemnation keep you from seeking help. Don’t keep hiding in the dark because our Creator said, let there be light!

A Night of Hope
So far away, so full of doubt
So lost inside, there’s no way out
Within this prison I scream, I shout
But no one hears, no eyes look about
Can no one see me
Is everyone blind
My fear overwhelms me
I’m falling this time

I smile I do, I play the game
I try to be different, but nothing does change
I hate this I do, don’t like how I feel
I want to be happy, I want to be sure
I want to be confident and secure
They tell me this, they tell me that
Follow ABC and all will be well with me

I’ve walked the line
I’ve jumped the hoops
But this time the tight rope is just to loose
My feet are slipping my knees to weak
My mind is reeling, into the darkness I sink
The darkness is safe, in it I hide
No one can see the thoughts of my mind
I hear the whispers, this voice so sleek
It tells me go on, in the darkness there’s peace

But another voice I hear, it’s distant and sweet
It whispers I love you, listen to me
It says in the darkness there is only dark
It says come to the Light, give me your heart
It says I see you, and hear you too
I know your thoughts and hear your screams
Come be still and know that it’s Me
Know that I came to give you a hope
Know that I’m here, My love have I shown
Come this night and know that I’m here
Come this night know to Me you are dear

While in your tears lift up your eyes
Take them off the dark and put them on the Light
Keep them focused looking right at Me
Know that I AM is right here, you’ll see
Trust in Me and in My love
Feel My arms around you embraced in a hug
Take a deep breath, breathe in My scent
Know for you My flesh was rent
I died for you that you might live
So lift up your head, for this hope to you I give

I wrote this May 7, 2009… in Him, in His Light, there is hope no matter how great the darkness, no matter how loud the chaos, no matter how barren the heart… in Him there is always Life no matter how deadened you may feel.

Book Reviews, Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries

>The Good Wife’s Guide Review

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>I was asked by Darlene Schacht to read the rough draft version of her new book The Good Wife’s Guide. I have been following her blog, Time-Warp Wife, for about six months. I love how she is trying to bring us ladies back to who God created us to be. In the past few decades I have to agree with her that we have gotten off focus as women.

You see I was once queen of the She-Woman-Man-Haters Club. To the point of writing college papers on the subjugation and degradation of women by our society. I researched and filled my head with every bit of information I could gather to fuel and justify my hate of men in general. I had decided that the only one of any count was my Daddy.

I despised the fact of the double-standard that I fully believed existed. I wrote a paper once that I was going to open a restaurant and call it Peckers. The woodpecker would be the store mascot and I would only hire male waiters and they would have to serve shirtless in tight red shorts. You see I decided that men should be just as objectified and degraded as women. Equal degradation was my plan.

My college papers on The Scarlet Letter and Maggie, A Girl of the Streets were asked to be kept by my professors to use as examples in future classrooms. Trust me, I was one fired-up, red-headed female. I was tired of the objectification of women. I was tired of not being physically strong enough to fight off an attacker. I was tired of being sexually harassed. I was tired of a woman being called a whore for the same thing that got a man called the hero of the locker room. I was tired of being a woman.

I was determined that I would never be dependant upon any man. I would never be a “kept” woman. I would do what I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted. I didn’t need a man for anything. I mean nothing. I could even have a child without one if I wanted… they had test tubes for the only part of a man that was worth anything to me.

Oh me, I was tired.
I was tired, mad, and… broken.

I was so tired that I cried when I found out I was carrying a girl when I was pregnant with my Shelby. I stayed in denial the entire pregnancy. I wanted a boy. I did not want a daughter who would have to face this world that I had faced. I was scared to death that she would be hurt, abused, harassed, condemned. I was terrified.

In my terror I surrounded myself with invisible walls of protection and drowned my fears and demons in alcohol (btw-didn’t drink when I was pregnant) and “girl power”. My breaking point came in my second year of marriage.  My husband and I had been fighting and he walked out the door and he looked at me and said “Your problem is you hate men! Which means you will never really love me because I am a man!”

This hit me like a brick in the head.
This led me to really pick up my Bible for the first time in twelve years.
This truth led me back to the God-Man.

When I fell in love with the God-Man, I began to heal from my hate. I began to fall in love with my husband in a deeper and truer way. I began to learn what it really meant to be a woman. I began to learn how the fact that I was called a helper to my husband by God did not make me inferior to him or any other man.

I learned the beauty in Biblical submission and I learned the peace that comes in shifting a burden that I was never meant to carry over to the one who was designed for it. It has not always been easy nor has the journey always been fun, but it has been beneficial and profitable.

I don’t know were you are right now in your womanhood. You might still be a member of the She-Woman-Man-Haters Club or maybe you are a new bride or maybe you have been a bride for a while, but have been trying to pull the groom’s side for many years… where ever you are… you are woman. You are created in the image of God and you are of great value and worth and your place as woman in your home and in this world is of vital importance.

Discover what it means to be a woman as God created you.
Discover what it means to be a wife as God created you.
Discover what it means to be a mother as God created you.

A good place to get a start would be with Darlene’s new book, The Good Wife’s Guide.
There is much truth to glean from the book.
There are some pretty neat tips in how to work on your role as woman, wife, and mother.
No you may not be able to meet all the offered advice… all of our families have different routines and schedules… but you can take her ideas and suggestions and modify them to fit the dynamics of your family.

But precious one first and foremost… the best guide of learning how to be the woman that God designed you to be is found in His Word… back every bit of human advice you ever recieve up with His Word… if it can’t be backed up with the absolute truth of God… then throw it out. Declutter!

Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries, Uncategorized

>Great, Now What!

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>I am trying to learn to see my trials through eyes that say “Okay God what are you wanting to teach me?” instead of “Great, now what!” Even when that trial is coming in and through my kids…

I am learning to always remember that I am a child to my Father in Heaven. So when my children do things or act in a way that gets all up in my crawl, I have begun to stop and ask God if I behave the same way toward Him.

I began doing this several years ago… but it seems I forget about it for a while… then when I am about ready to knock all my girls out I realize I need to stop and examine myself and my current relationship with God to see if He is trying to teach me something about my relationship to Him or someone else through my relationship with my children.

He has never failed to greatly enlighten me when I come to Him with this question. I don’t think He has ever said, “Nope, Nicole, we’re great. Your kids are just little hellions and they need their heads pinched off.” It usually is a response of opening my eyes to some things that I need to work on.

Sometimes it is to open my eyes to something between me and Him. Sometimes it’s something between me and my husband. Sometimes it’s between me and my girls. Sometimes it between me and another brother or sister in Christ. Sometimes it’s just to teach me so I will be ready because a future issue is coming and God is getting me ready to know how to respond. Sometimes it is just to help me give my children more grace as I sit before Him praying that He will extend more grace to me.

I currently have one child that has been having a whinefest that hangs around the it’s-all-about-me-festival and it seems to be becoming a perpetual statute for all days until all eternity and then another that is struggling with truth-telling and truth-doing and trusting to receive the right answer, not one gained by manipulating a situation to get their own way. 

These are all areas that God is constantly pruning in my own heart as well… and as I look at my kids and tell them what they should do, and know that they know what to do, and see them struggle to walk in that knowledge, I learn to give mercy and grace.

And not just to them but to others.
Because God gives it to me.
Now I did not say that I let it slide, that I ignored it, that I don’t deal with it… but I do it with mercy and with grace. (And I praise God that He doesn’t let foolishness slide with me either.)

It’s just that there is a big difference in having knowledge and actually walking and living out what you know to be true and right. This stupid flesh, and the pull of this world, and that old, nasty, sneaky serpent take their toll on our strength and convictions… and they love to offer us up a big ole plate of condemnation when we struggle and especially when we fail.

I have learned that the only sure thing in this life is Christ and all that stems from Him. Like the stem of grace, mercy, faith, love, hope, forgiveness, redemption… I have to keep my eyes on Him at all times… and He’s really a beautiful sight… so our eyes on Him should not be that difficult… right?

I have learned that my children will fail. They will struggle. They will desire this world. Their flesh and the desires of this flesh will be used by Satan to tempt them and to lead them to follow the world instead of Christ. But Jesus has prayed for them and we have prayed for them… so that when they fall their faith will not fail. 

So I love them. I learn how to discipline them with “discipleship” mentality instead of “you’re getting on my last nerve and I have had it up to here” mentality. I am a trainer at all times. I am learning how to do this because this is how I realize my God disciplines me.

Training me up to serve and to live an abundant life of overcoming victory in and by grace alone.
With much patience my God trains me up…

So when I hit the point that my flesh is screaming “Great, now what!”
I know now to stop.
To just stop and pause for a moment and say “Okay God, what are you wanting to teach me?”

Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries

>You Were Made To Be Courageous

>My youngest always wants to know what a song means. We never get to just listen to a song. I have to explain the meaning behind every chorus (thank God we only listen to Christian music on a regular basis. I really would hate to have to explain the chorus to one of today’s mainstream songs).

Well the other day we were on our way home from somewhere and this song came on the radio and my seven year old, says “Oh he just sang that they were made to lead the way, just like Jesus leads the way, like Daddy leads us… that’s what that song’s about… that’s what that movie was about!”

That’s right man of this generation… even a child knows that you were created to lead them like Jesus…

Are you ready?

Confessions of a Christian Wife, Gabby Mom Posts, Proven Path Ministries

>Be A Woman

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>It’s time for me to share about one of my Eternal Encouragement experiences. I received the January newsletter in my inbox and opened it up to read. In this first newsletter of 2012 I read an encouraging word about being all that I could be.

Be all you can be! If you are a mother, BE a mother! If you are a wife, BE a wife! You are a woman, BE one all the way. Don’t be half a one, wanting to do half a man’s role. BE a lady and be one all the way!  
~ Lorrie Flem

I loved this.

The other day as I was watching tv there was a commercial for the show Dr Quinn Medicine Woman and in the commercial Dr Quinn says something like never hide behind the fact that you are a girl. Have you ever found yourself saying, or thinking, along these lines? Thinking that you will not be taken seriously simply because you are a girl, so why bother? Thinking you could not do or become what God has placed in your heart because you are a girl? Thinking you had to walk and talk like a man to get the job done?

Believe me… your womanness is enough. You don’t have to forsake your femininity to accomplish what God has called you to do. You don’t have to forsake your womanhood to survive in the workplace. Nor do you have to become the b**ch to be taken seriously. Nor do you have to play the seduction card… it’s only degrading you.

There was a day when my motto was that the only thing a man could do that I could not was pee standing up and if I practiced long enough I could probably do that too. I was under the delusions of the lies that were being fed to me by the world. I somehow felt I needed to prove my worth by showing I could measure up to a man.

How backwards that thinking is. It is absolutely crazy to me now… but I guarantee that this thought still continues to thrive in the minds of females all across our nation. Today I realize that there is only one man who can define my worth and who I should be measuring myself by… and His name is Jesus.

It wasn’t until I came to know Him, that I began to truly understand what it meant to be a woman. In Him I learned that I am not less because I am female. I am not weak because I am a girl. Precious one, listen, you don’t have to earn your place in the world by trying to do things like a man… this is not a man’s world… the world belongs to God. It’s His and all that’s in it.

  For the world is Mine, and all it contains.
Psalm 50:12
 
Just be a woman of God.
Keep your head held high and your back straight and your integrity strong.
Just be real.
There is a huge lack of authenticity in our current day.
 
“Behold, I have discovered this,”
says the Preacher,
“adding one thing to another to find an explanation, 
which I am still seeking but have not found.
I have found one man among a thousand,
but I have not found a woman among all these.
Ecclesiastes 7:27-28
 
God created you female and He created you to display His image in your femininity. He created you to bear His likeness as a woman surrendered to His will and bathed in His beauty and grace. Be a woman that God calls a woman worthy of praise.
 
 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. 
 Give her the product of her hands,
And let her works praise her in the gates.
Proverbs 31:30-31
 
********************************************************** 
 
The thoughts from this post began from the encouraging word I read in my EE newsletter. If you would like to also receive these words of encouragement just go to http://eternalencouragement.com/ to get your free newsletter.
 
Disclaimer: I post for EE magazine and receive products from EE in return for an honest review.
Confessions of a Christian Wife

Man of My Dreams

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confessions

The evidence of a man who loves Jesus is not found in conquering a specific sin struggle, but rather in his endurance in the fight.

Don’t look for the perfectly healed champion.  He’s already waiting for you in Heaven.

Look for they guy who is covered with scars from the fight.  Look for the guy who is bloody and bleeding with this huge grin on his face because he’s confident that the war is already won.  Don’t stare at each other too long.  Link arms or get back-to-back so you can make each other stronger before the next attack.
Then fight your way home to your true Hero.

~ thoughts from fabs

*********************************************************************

I read this and I was reminded of a poem I wrote on October 14, 1998. This poem I wrote about my husband when he was still just my boyfriend 🙂

I feel myself falling
I feel myself letting go
I feel myself trusting in a way that I’ve never trusted before
I feel myself loving
I feel it deep in my soul
I feel my heart completed in a way that I’ve never known
I feel strong hands
I feel strong arms
I feel I now have a shoulder I can rely and lean on
I feel complete
I feel whole
I feel I have finally found what I’ve always searched for.

When I penned this little poem as a head-over-heels-in-love young girl I thought I knew what love was… but in truth… I had a lot to learn… and my God has been faithful to teach me. 

I can truly say that I still feel this same way about my husband today. However there have been moments when I have not always felt that way. Our marriage has been a roller coaster ride… but we were both thrill seekers when we met and I guess we just carried that adrenaline junkie mess right into our marriage somehow.  

We didn’t start out as friends either… we just… well started out. So it has taken a while to build the friendship area of our marriage… because I didn’t really make friends easy… I could make acquaintances all day but friends, that was a different story. Really letting someone in is scary.So our marriage has been a roller coaster ride of emotion at times… something I have chosen to call passion. My husband thinks that is quite funny. So he says that from now on whenever we have a “heated discussion” he is just going to look at me and say “it’s passion, baby” and well who could keep a straight face at that? I believe love comes with passion.

Not the Hollywood movie rated X (or pg-13 theses days) passion… but the suffering of Christ passion.
Love is about sacrifice… and suffering… and salvation.

My husband was used by God to bring me unto salvation. I have no doubt about that. Had I not have met this man and been swept off my feet by him… I cannot even imagine the depths of depravity I might have entered into. I was wide open to Satan himself because I was convinced God would never want me again.

One of my God’s steps in opening my eyes to His love for me was sending me this man.At the same time, had this man managed to be able to meet all my needs, and comfort me at all times, and never leave in me want, hungering from something deeper, and even more real… well I don’t think I would have responded to the calling of my Savior. I would have been comfortable in my temporary pleasures.As I was wrapped up in this man’s arms and resting in his strength and warmth about me last night, he had work early the next morning and was heading to bed early, and I still had rippin’ and rompin’ kids to get settled and in bed, but he said, “You know we had to be meant for each other because I still am not tired of holding you, You know sometimes you just get tired of being around people when you have been around them alot, but I am not tired of you.”

Yes, I still love this man.
No, life has not been perfect… but it’s been “passion” packed 🙂

When I look at him and think about our marriage I sit at the feet of my Christ in an utter amazement at the beauty He was able to make out of the mess of us.

Two messed up souls… doing things all wrong… but some how God’s grace poured out on us and His divine intervention came down in floods of mercy and we are choosing to trust Christ to keep it all running somehow.

We are far from perfect.
Our marriage is far from perfect.
But it truly gets sweeter and sweeter with each leap of faith of saying “I do” again one more day…

We do life together.
For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health…
We both carry our battle scars but we both have chosen to stay and stand and fight.
Remembering that we battle not against flesh and blood but against spiritual forces of darkness.

This is my man.
The man of my dreams.
And each day He becomes more and more what I was always searching for because with each day he becomes more and more like my Jesus.

Confessions of a Christian Wife

>Waiting Room Thoughts

>I am sitting here in the surgery waiting room as my sister is back in surgery having the steel plate removed from her leg and as many screws from her knee that the doctor can safely remove. I spent a lot of time here a little over a year ago. On the way here I was listening to Way-FM and they were doing a listener call in to the question “What was the worst day of your life? How did God get you through it? Did good end up coming from it?”

As I answered the question to myself on this drive to the hospital… my mind went to this first trip that I made to this hospital to get to my sister. I have had more “worst days” that God has seen me through, but today my mind took me to this one.

This was the worst day because it was the first time that I was faced with asking God whether or not I could ask for a loved one’s life to be spared. Every other time before, I just simply selfishly asked for the life to be spared… 

This is the car that my sister’s life was spared from. This is the death that our God delivered her from. Every bone in her body was broken… except her skull. Her brain and all internal organs with the exception of her lungs were safe. Both her lungs were punctured. However the One who breathed life into her in the beginning continued to breathe life into her despite punctured lungs.
You can read her journey here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/tracysmith3
If you have a loved one fighting a medical condition Caring Bridge is wonderful site to keep loved ones updated and it was a great strength to my sister to be able to read the prayers that were covering her during her trial.
What I know is that God sustained my sister during this trial and He sustained our entire family and yes He received glory from this worst day.  
Take courage our Jesus has overcome the world! 
Confessions of a Christian Wife

>Fast Accountability (2)

>It is 7:40pm and I have been successful in my fast today as in the not caving part… However, I still ponder the point of the fast… and why God has called me to it.

I am at the point now where I am having to fight little irritations that normally would not bother me. In all honesty I know I am far from starving. But at the same time I know that I could easily open the refrigerator door and consume every leftover that I know is in there.

So it seems that what God is teaching me is self-control and patience. Sometimes and opportunity is right there, easy and ready for the taking. But maybe I shouldn’t dive into old leftovers when quite possibly my God has something new and fresh for me if I will just be patient and wait on Him. Maybe what God is teaching me with this fast is the crucifixion of my flesh. Maybe He is simply strengthening me in my prayer to be kind and to love and to respond with grace. I still am not sure if the fast is over… or if it continues into tomorrow… my God will let me know.

I still am searching and seeking His face as I wait on answers to questions that have entered my head and heart during this day of fasting. Questions that pertain to future opportunities and directions of ministry. Life is about to kick back into full gear and the full gear comes with new studies, new speaking engagements, and new ministry opportunities. It comes with decisions regarding our home and family. I must trust God to open doors and close them and not barge through demanding my way… when it might not be His plan at all. 

I have stopped to write this post and my girls have interrupted me at least three times each… once to describe the jelly on their sandwhich, once to ask me if I knew that their pj’s were fireproof, once to ask if I would play a game, and etc… so I am saying goodnight to the blog and am heading into the living room to participate in a hardcore game of Phase 10 played our way before I send my youngens off to bed and then pour my eyes over and over the wisdom of the Word of my God.

Confessions of a Christian Wife

>Fast Accountability

>Okay so it’s after midnight and I have been searching my blog posts for a post I am pretty sure I did on the subject of fasting while studying Isaiah… although that could be one that was a draft then deleted or something I posted somewhere else or could be something I wrote in a journal with actual pen and paper…

The reason I was searching for it was to back up my reasons for this post and also to see where I was in my thought process concerning fasting when I wrote it. I feel the Lord has called me to a fast. However I do not have a set reason… other than the desire to be completely and totally in His will and walking in it with full confidence. There are several areas in my life where I go “well I don’t know… maybe this… or maybe that…” There are some areas that I need solid assurance not wishy washy maybes… because I know my God is a solid Rock… He is not wishy or washy… and He has a plan… I need to be still and see if He is willing to give me the heads up on what that plan might be.

However when I even think “fast” my stomach starts growling and my head starts hurting… and the excuses begin and the compromises come. So this is my accountability. I usually try a secret fast. The don’t-let-the-right-hand-know-what-the-left-hand-is-doing fast, but for me it makes it too easy to compromise and take a big ole bite of whatever.

Here’s the thing.
I will be teaching on love from 1 Corinthians 13 this coming Sunday morning as I finish up a study on spiritual gifts and then I will be leading an adult small group study from the book of Job beginning the next Sunday.
This Sunday, after my small group, I will immediately go to teach our children at church on Bible prophecy through the book of Revelation. 
On Monday I will be back to teaching during our homeschool co-op chapel time on the names of God and I also teach a Zoology class.
I also am involved in a prayer wall ministry and will be speaking at a ladies retreat in March.
Then of course their is my writing.
And being a wife to my wonderful husband.
And motherhood and homeschooling my girls.
And all the other stuff in between…

So many times people ask me how I have the time for all that I do… and I immediately begin to try to make excuses and justify and defend and basicly apologize for my service… I have no clue why I do that.

The simple truth is that as long as I am doing what He alone has called me to do, my God, the Author and Finisher, the I AM, the Beginning and the End, the One not bound by time, space, or matter, He always manages to make enough time for me to accomplish whatever He has called me to do. It’s all Him. And I have no clue how He does it… He just does.

So my fast…
My fast is to make sure that I am serving on His time, in His time, for His time, with His time, so that I always have time. In His strength not my own. Not my will but His will be done. No wishy-washy maybe but only a sold rock of assurance. I like my face set like flint, fully focused on the prize of my Christ. Obeying His Word, His Way, His will.

F aith
A mplifies
S urrendered
T ime

Accountability: to help me keep my mouth closed and my heart open

It’s 1am now…
I’ll let you know how well this fast goes.
Hopefully I will not be defeated with breakfast…