There it is. The land mark that says you have almost made it. The sigh of relief slowly eases out of your nostrils as you look down to your phone to check the time (because I know you no longer wear a watch because who has the time to go into a store and buy a battery and wait for it to be put in… at a glass counter… really, do these people not know that glass speaks to little hands… beckoning them to see how it tastes and how many slobbery sucker sticky fingerprints they can slide across it).

You run-walk in the door no longer making eye contact with your husband because the last time he said what’s taking so long, are you not ready yet, was your breaking point… or he is on shift today and you have been on your own and so far you have settled three fights, picked out six different outfits that your child says just don’t feel right, and you are beyond frustrated at them and finally say, fine just wear your pajamas, I really don’t care at this point! Yet, the reality is you are frustrated because you know exactly how they feel because every outfit you own is already in the closet floor or on the bed… because nothing fits right today and you secretly wish today really was pajama day so you could just wear yours.

Now the heap of guilt is washing over you… because you promised yourself last Sunday that you would be better prepared next week… you would not be late… you would not leave crazy and angry… you would all have breakfast and prayer and would walk out the door smiling and singing Jesus Loves Me and loving each other and peace like a river would fill your car and heart all the way to church…

But it didn’t happen.

Now you are thinking all the way there that your kids will never attend church after you quit dragging them there because you have made Sunday morning such a miserable experience. I mean really the only time you ever yell at them is on Sunday morning… right?

You finally make it in the building and you can feel the stares of the greeters boring down into your soul and then their is the children’s minister and heat embarrassment rises up in your neck and you try not to make eye contact because you just know that behind those stares must be the words, yep there they are again… they are ALWAYS late… I bet they make it to school on time, I bet they manage to make it to work on time… I bet they are not even ever late for a sports practice… 

Well, stop and know that I AM NOT THAT CHILDREN’S MINISTER… and I would most likely bet that your children’s minister is not either 🙂

This Children’s Ministry Director understands. I know that if it can go wrong, it will go wrong on Sunday morning. If it can spill, rip, tear, scream, fall, drop, break, get lost, not start, be forgot… it will happen on Sunday morning.

The fact is Satan could care less if you make it to work on time. He could care less if your kids make it to school or ball practice on time. He has no qualms with keeping you from those activities… he usually is there in the background encouraging them… because the more time you are spending there the less time you are spending at church and in the Word…

But now Sunday morning… that’s a different story. He doesn’t want you there and sure as hell (yes, I said it) doesn’t want your kids there.

He will even use your kids as your excuse to not be there.

Here’s the deal with this Children’s Ministry Director. If your late… I understand. I am just glad you made it. Because I know what the shoes in your hand and the ponytail or bun on top of your head means. I know what the cereal in a bag with the sippy cup in hand means. I know what the jeans and t-shirts and extra body spray means. I know what the diaper bag without the diapers means. I know what the tear stained, sleepy in the eyes, unbrushed head… (and I am not talking about the kids)… means.

I know.

It means that Sunday worship is important to you.

It means that your children learning the Gospel and studying the Word of God is important to you.

It means that you knew that if you didn’t get even just a little Jesus time in today you were not sure you would ever be able to survive next week and your kids definitely might not even survive the rest of the day.

So when Sunday comes… go for it. Come as you are. Just as you am.

Know that the church t-shirts are made for these days!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today was the parenting seminar that was hosted by my church. Yesterday both my girls went with me to help me set up for the event. They both worked with me to move tables and stack chairs and straighten up. As we were arranging tables and chairs my youngest asked me what I was teaching… and I told her I was not teaching I was attending. She got the funniest look on her face and said “But there’s nothing wrong with the way you parent. I love you as my mommy. I don’t want you to change. What kind of things are they going to teach you?” 

I have heard it said many times that if your child does not tell you they hate you at least once then you are not being a good parent…

I don’t think it has to be that way.

I truly believe we can parent well and still maintain the love and respect of our children.

I am not saying that you are a bad parent if it does happen… I am just saying you can be good parent and it not happen. You are an authority in your child’s life… if they have an issue with authority… and you are maintaining your God-given authority over them… then yes, they indeed will clash with you.

Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God; and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves. For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behavior, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good and you will have praise from the same; for it is a minister of God to you for good. But if you do what is evil, be afraid; for it does not bear the sword for nothing; for it is a minister of God, an avenger who brings wrath on the one who practices evil.

Romans 13:2-4

However, as a parent, I also must be careful to maintain my character and integrity before my child, so that if they were to “butt heads” with me… it is them that is put to shame…

 but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame. For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong 

1 Peter 3:15-17

There was a time that I carried so much hurt in my heart that I would turn and lash that hurt onto my girls. I can remember screaming at them with a vileness that makes me absolutely nauseous now when I think about it. I can remember lashing out at them over ridiculous things as they would become the target of my own hurt… and then blaming them for causing the reaction.

“Why can’t you…”

“How many times do I have to…”

“Will you ever…”

“I am sick and tired of you…”

I don’t remember the event, or the reason, I don’t recall the words yelled, but I remember the day that I lashed out at my precious Shelby and Bekah. I remember I was running their bath water and I had went over the edge. The events of the day had been more than I could handle and instead of going to my knees and calling on grace I chose to relish the anger and feed on my flesh. As I lashed out my disgusting flesh on them I remember the look that came across their eyes and I saw terror… I have never felt so small.

Trust me, there have still been moments.

Moments of hormonal, sleep deprived, irrational crazed insanity when I am carrying my own hurts, thoughts, and frustrations instead of laying them down at the foot of forgiveness and repentance and grace and I could…can… feel the build coming and its poison almost seeping out… but by the mercy of God and the power of His Spirit within me… I am held more often than not. Yet now even in the not I find I am caught, stilled, and able to turn and look my little ones in the eyes and let them know that it really was not them… it was me fleshing out.

A fool always loses his temper,
But a wise man holds it back.

Proverbs 29:11

So when my child looks at me and says what she said that day about my parenting ability and style… I am broken by the mercy of God. I am broken as I think how can she see that when I feel like such a failure in this momma thing, when I have used sarcasm way to much, when I have sent the “I am so disappointed, upset, irritated, just wait til we get home” eye across the room, when I have said “not now” just one to many times, when I have raised my voice unnecessarily loud, huffed and puffed my frustrated disapproval after explaining the same thing one more time… she says that. Immediately I was reminded of a verse… or two.

 Hatred stirs up strife,
But love covers all transgressions.

Proverbs 10:12

***********************************************

Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another,

because love covers a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8

Momma’s out there, I don’t know what kind of day you have had. I don’t know what hurts you are trying to carry on your own. I don’t know what things you have said or done to your children and the guilt that you carry because of it… I don’t know… but what I do know is that I serve a God who is in the redemption and forgiveness business. I serve a God that is in the healing and restoring business.

I can testify to you… that His word is true. Love indeed covers a multitude of sins. Not the worlds idea of love mind you… but God’s. Love that speaks and lives truth, that seeks to honor God and others. Love that is willing to forgive because they have been forgiven. Love that offers hope to another because they know they so desperately need it themselves.

Today in the parenting seminar Dr Turansky and Mrs Miller shared how the family is God’s laboratory to help us grow and become who He created us to be and to help us understand who He is… and it’s so true.

I jotted down a quote as I stood in the back of the room listening at the end, “Family life is all about forgiveness and moving on“

That’s it.

This life is a mess. We mess up. We get irritated. We get “fleshy” We do so with our parents, with our brothers and sisters, with our spouses, with our children… but in this fleshy, irritating, messy life their is family. Family is a powerful thing. It is to be a part of THE FAMILY that God sent Christ.

And because there is Christ there is forgiveness.

And because there is forgiveness there is hope.

And because there is hope there is a future.

And because there is a future we have the strength, courage, and desire to learn.

And if we choose to learn we can be changed.

Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me,

for I am gentle and humble in heart,

and you will find rest for your souls.

Matthew 11:29

 

Last Wednesday night was the Awana Awards Ceremony at our church. During the awards the kids all share some of the things that they learned during the year and they share some of the Scripture verses that are supposed to be memorized and treasured in their heart…

I went over my child’s verse with her repeatedly.

She knew it.

I knew that she knew it.

Yet she walked up on stage with a cheat sheet and began to read off the verse and was stumbling all over it. Before I knew it I had given the “momma finger snap” and told her out loud that she needed to put that paper down and say her verse.

Once the cheat sheet came down the verse flowed out smooth and clear.

There is a standard my husband and I hold for our children.

First things first.

God is to be first.

If my child can sing the Dora Explorer theme song at 2 years old while playing with her Dora doll in the tub, she can memorize Scripture.

If my child can learn the entire part of Imogene Herdman in The Best Christmas Pageant Ever at age 8 she can memorize Scripture.

Last Sunday I had to confront my 12 year old on why she was walking out the house to church without her Bible in hand.

She responded that everything was in her Sunday school book, she didn’t need it.

Not an acceptable answer for this mom…

She has not been raised to be spoon fed off another’s plate. She’s been raised to feed herself… why on earth would we expect her to leave the children’s ministry carrying her own Bible and enter the youth without it. She doesn’t use someone else’s glove or bat when she steps on to the softball field… should we expect less when it comes to stepping into church.

We have lowered the bar in so many areas in what we expect from our kids in the area of their spiritual growth and even academics yet we have raised it to almost unreachable levels when it comes to sports and other hobbies. Of course the excuse for the drive is always for a “college scholarship” As if going to college will be their salvation in this life. Sadly when they get their and have put so little into their character and integrity many end up in a pit that they can’t get out of and end up losing that scholarship along with their name and their respect.

We need to learn to raise the bar in the right areas…

When we look at history we see that Jonathan Edwards entered Yale College at 12 years old. By the age of 17 he had graduated as valedictorian and by 19 years of age, after two years of study in theology he was filling a pulpit. By the age of 30 he was key in being used by God to begin the Great Awakening.

By the age of 11 years old J0hn Quincy Adams was a congressional appointed secretary to his father who was the American ambassador to France, by 14 years old he was appointed secretary to our ambassador to Russia, and by 16 years old he was recognized by the President of the United States, George Washington, as one of the most valuable characters abroad representing our country.

When we look to the Scriptures we see that at 8 years of age Josiah became king of Israel and by his eighteenth year as king, at 26 years of age, he read the book of the Law for the first time and brought revival to a nation.

Today, at 26 years of age in America grown adults are still required by law to be able to mooch off their parents insurance, even if they are healthy, strong, supposedly intelligent individuals.

There was a day when a 13 year old boy was considered a man.

Today we look at a 30 year old and still call them a kid.

Today we expect little, little is invested, therefore little is achieved.

In this great day of knowledge and technology and our supposed so far advancement from the dark ages… how is it that our knowledge grows , but our ability to be responsible for own actions and personhood diminishes.

We have a President today that mocks our past greatness… He stands on the platform of Planned Parenthood and mocks the foundations of this country and the integrity and character on which it was built… because some people seem to have a problem with men and women who call themselves doctors, who took an oath to heal and help, yet instead choose to kill and destroy.

Mr President if we were so dumb and backwards back then, why all the greatness of men and women who brought true and good change to our nation as they supported and strove for the rights of equality of life for all mankind, no matter age, sex, race, or religion?

If we have achieved such knowledge and grandeur in this day, how is it that in this country’s beginning an 11 year old was committed and cognitive enough to be an official ambassador representing our country and yet today in our country an 11 year old is doing good to be able to go to the bathroom by themselves and read Cat in the Hat?

I don’t believe this is the governments fault. I don’t believe it’s the schools fault. I don’t even believe it’s the cultures fault.

It’s our fault, dads and moms, our fault.

There was a day where it was the parent’s responsibility to teach their child. They understood it was their responsibility to teach their kids to succeed and learn and grow. It was their responsibility and great honor and desire and privilege to invest in the lives of their kids. It was their responsibility to tell their kids… You are not a kid anymore. What you say and what you do matters and has an effect on others. You were born to make an impact in the lives of those around you and that starts now. 

I not long ago had to have a conversation with my child about how her Sunday night class was treating their teacher. Her class is comprised of our 3rd – 5th graders. These kids seemed to be completely oblivious that their words and actions had power to affect the adults around them. They were too caught up in their own selves to even have concern for the one who was there trying to teach them. I explained to my child that the way she behaved demonstrated to her teacher whether she respected her or not, and whether she respected her or not demonstrated whether her teacher felt loved and appreciated and even liked.

Yes, at 8 years old what my child said and did and how she treated others had an affect on those around her… yes, even the adults around her. She needed to be made aware of that.

It’s not just about obedience and minding the teacher. It’s more about the fact that they should be aware that they carry an impact in this world.

They matter.

They matter in what they say and do and they matter in the fact that what they say and do has an effect on those around them which in fact impacts their community and their world.

Maybe you might think I am thinking too big… but I don’t think so.

Like I said, my husband and I expect much from our kids when it comes to the things of God and the things of kindness and common courtesy and using their heads.

We see the time, energy, and effort they are willing and able to put into things that have no eternal impact or benefit… why on earth would we expect and require less from them when it comes to the things that do?

It’s time to raise the bar in this nation.

It must begin with it being raised at home and it must be raised in our churches.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you are Christian parent you cannot deny that the enemy of our souls, Satan, the serpent of old, the accuser of the brethren, the deceiver… is after the hearts of our kids. Today is not a day that we as parents can sit by on the sidelines and just try to make it through the day. We must choose to purposefully parent in this day. This requires diligence and effort and training on our part. It also is going to require a strong support system and accountability.

Beginning on September 8th, 2013 Shiloh will begin a year of focusing on how to parent with purpose. We will start with an eleven week study, Raising Godly Children in an Ungodly World.

 

Parents and parents-to-be will benefit from this Parenting Study Kit. With thought-provoking discussion questions and engaging homework assignments, parents at all stages are challenged and encouraged as they examine how to “train up their children in the way that they should go” … according to God’s Word!

In addition to the teaching of Ken and Steve, Christian parents who are currently navigating the same parenting challenges that you are offer biblical insights and practical parenting tips.

Discover what the Bible teaches about:

• the roles of husband, wife, and children in the family
• how we should discipline our children
• how to make Scripture come alive for our children
• important topics like communication, stewardship, and relationships
• … how we can leave a godly legacy!

An 11-session, DVD-based study!

Raising Godly Children in an Ungodly World lesson titles

• Session 1: The Genesis Family 
• Session 2: The Genesis of a Worldview 
• Session 3: Vegemite Kids 
• Session 4: God-Given Roles in Marriage 
• Session 5: God-Given Roles in the Family 
• Session 6: Discipline: Producing a Harvest of Peace and Righteousness 
• Session 7: Communicating Biblically with Your Children 
• Session 8: Growing a Godly Heritage 
• Session 9: The Family Fortress 
• Session 10: Developing a Biblical Mindset About Money and Possessions 
• Session 11: Parenting Practices 

Parents attending this study are encouraged to purchase the book, Raising Godly Children in an Ungodly World. The study guide and DVD’s will be made available during the class time.

As this study concludes with Parenting Practices we will then begin a study that will take us through the rest of the year, The Christian Parenting Handbook. This study will teach us hands on how to apply everything we learned in the previous study. 

 

 

Nuggets of parenting wisdom condensed into 50 short chapters, each one biblical, practical, and relevant for parents of children ages 2-18. Learn appropriate ways to correct, instruct, and set limits. Glean wisdom for dealing with emotions, conflict, and developing closeness in your family… and much more. These 50 strategies provide you with hands-on tools for parenting children of any age. 

You will learn

• A practical tool to stop children’s arguing
• How to separate firmness from harshness
• A strategy to help children change their hearts
• Ways to teach kids to add energy to family life
• Solutions for sibling conflict
• The relational side of parenting
• What to do when parents don’t agree
• How to help kids who are blamers
• and much more.

Parents attending this class are encouraged to purchase The Christian Parenting Handbook and Companion Guide. We will go through one chapter a week so that we can focus on and have an opportunity to put into practice what we learn without overload of information.

To check out more information on parenting go here:

 

 

I sincerely hope you will make plans to join us…

 

 

 

See that you do not despise one of these little ones,

for I say to you that their angels in heaven

continually see the face of My Father who is in heaven.

Matthew 18:10

I had a visitor once in children’s church… a beautiful eight year old little girl. I will never forget her… nor who she represents. Her face is bore into my mind and the look in her eyes and the uncomfortableness of her spirit is etched in my heart… I pray it remains there until my work her on this earth is done.

I wonder what a Sunday would look like if just for one Sunday the only prayer request allowed to be made on that day was for the souls of the known lost… and for the strength, wisdom, discernment, grace, and insight to proclaim the gospel to them.

I wonder what one Sunday where we lay aside all the prayer request that concern all the sinus pressure, all the employment issues, all the christians that you know are christians that are about to pass into eternity, all the upcoming surgeries, all the attitude adjustments, all the sick puppies, and lost kitties, even the cancers and the peace for lose who are dealing with a loss of a loved one… I wonder what just one Sunday where we leave those request at home and trust that God has it covered and instead we choose just this one Sunday to lay only the names of the lost before our church… what would that Sunday look like?

After all He did say:

“For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried canadd a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Matthew 6:25-34

What would happen if just one day, we laid aside all the request that had to do with all the things that God has already promised to supply us with… just one day we laid aside our own self interests and just one Sunday, just one, we set our hearts to pray for those we specifically know are abiding under the wrath of God because the enemy of this world has them blinded to the truth?

But get up and stand on your feet; for this purpose I have appeared to you, to appoint you a minister and a witness not only to the things which you have seen, but also to the things in which I will appear to you; rescuing youfrom the Jewish people and from the Gentiles, to whom I am sending you, to open their eyes so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the dominion of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and an inheritance among those who have been sanctified by faith in Me.

Acts 26:16-18

What would happen?

Could we even really accomplish that in this self-centered, self-entitled, self-driven day?

I just don’t buy that Jesus saved me just to make my life better. He saved me to join an army. He saved me to join a team. He saved me to become a part of His rescue squad.

I am on active duty.

When did church become our comfort zone? Is it not supposed to be our training ground? Our briefing? Our team huddle to make the plans to fight the enemy…

Our time to grasp hands and say “red rover, red rover, Satan send that one right over” because if you don’t let them go, in the power of the name of Christ and the power of His gospel, we are about to come running over and break your hold on this one with the Truth of the Word of God and bring them on over to our side.

Oh God, take the blinders off of us! Let your church see… really see!

This young girl, in my children’s church, only eight years old… let me share with you how tight the grip the powers of hell have a hold of her mind… and let me remind you she merely is one that represents the majority of every child in our nation…

Oh church, wake up. For the love of Christ, wake up!

As I reviewed through the book of Romans, I begin every lesson with a section review that brings us up to where we will be that day, so as I reviewed Romans 1:18-32 I went over what happens in the minds of those who exchange the truth of God for a lie. I shared again how our thinking becomes all messed and we believe things that are lies, like believing that we come from monkeys… I made this statement and this young girls hand shot up. I addressed her raised hand and she said assuredly, “actually we are descended from monkeys.”

Now stop with me for a moment and think.

This young girl has never been in our church before. She does not go to school with any of the kids in the class. She knows no one and is in a strange place, yet this idea was so ingrained in her as fact, she had the boldness to speak out right then.

I cannot tell you how I prayed for this girl all through the lesson that day… I also cannot tell you the disappointment I felt as I watched our “church kids” including my own “church kid”.

I stood there teaching and I saw this first time visitor, this precious soul who has been taught a lie, for a very long time, I saw her sit there alone and uncomfortable. I saw her sit there while our “church kids” played amongst themselves, really ignoring her completely.

These children are merely a reflection of us… church we have got to work on this.

Yes, it is uncomfortable to approach and talk to someone new… even someone not new, but someone we have never talked to before… but guess what, they are uncomfortable too. Probably much more so than us.

I saw her uncomfortableness and I saw her struggle and my heart was breaking and what I wanted to do was just stop and take her for a walk and show her the beauty of God’s creation through the eyes of one of His children…

Thus declares the Lord who stretches out the heavens, lays the foundation of the earth, and forms the spirit of man within him, 

Zechariah 12:1

I wanted to pull her aside and tell her that she was too intrinsically designed to come from an ape. I wanted to teach her that she was a living soul and that a monkey doesn’t have a soul and a soul can’t just “evolve”. I wanted to take her in my arms and run straight to the foot of the cross and beg God to open her eyes so that she could see… and I have done that in my prayers over and over and over.

She is only one of many.

So how about just one Sunday, just one, let’s trust that God has got our head cold covered, let’s trust that these mortal bodies are just temporary tents and God will sustain us and the others that we know that are His, no matter what we or they might be going through… let’s trust that He will get us through this one Sunday, and this one week that follows that Sunday, and just one Sunday let all our request be that the blind may see… that God would open their eyes… and that we would be so bold as to declare His Word and His gospel to the world so that whosoever will believe will be saved.

Start in your own church nursery.

Walk the halls of the Preschool wing.

Turn down the Children’s hall.

Do we not know that as soon as their little ears are open, the lies of hell are going in? This past Saturday morning my Bekah comes running up stairs, and says, “Momma, the lies are on Nick Jr! They just said that dinosaurs lived billions of years ago! Momma that’s not true. Kids are watching this Momma and it’s a lie”

Oh church, let not the gates of hell prevail…

If we don’t speak the truth who will?

If we don’t pray for the lost, the deceived  the blinded… who will?

One Sunday… could we start with just one Sunday?

Pray.