A good name is better than a good ointment,
And the day of one’s death is better than the day of one’s birth.
It is better to go to a house of mourning
Than to go to a house of feasting,
Because that is the end of every man,
And the living takes it to heart.
Sorrow is better than laughter,
For when a face is sad a heart may be happy.
The mind of the wise is in the house of mourning,
While the mind of fools is in the house of pleasure.

Ecclesiastes 7:1-4

Today I will enter a house of mourning. Today the physical body of my lifelong friend will be laid to rest. Today my friend, will make her last huge, in your face, call to the words of Christ and the truth of the gospel to her community and to those who claim to love her and her family. Today those who come to this house of mourning will have to face the reality that life is fleeting… that death comes to all men… and death is God’s loud shout to all mankind that sin is real, that flesh is weak, that we are not God, that we cannot stop the destruction that the choice of man put into motion way back in the garden…

But we can escape it in and through Christ!

This house of mourning is meant to cause the wise to sit back and reflect and look at their own life and take the death of this one to heart. It is meant to cause us to examine our own hearts, our own lives (or what we call “lives”) and ask ourselves… whether when we come we already know the Lord or not.

Am I really living?

If I were to step outside of my life and look at it from God’s point of view… are the things that I am investing my time, money, and energy into worth dying for? Will the things that I put effort into worrying about matter one hundred years from now… will they bear any measurement in eternity? If that were me laying there up front in this house of mourning, what would be said about my name, my character, my life.  

What happens when we die?

You see something in us knows that this life, this world is not the end. Somewhere deep within the recesses of the places we can’t explain every man knows that there is more. No matter where you go on the globe, no matter the culture, the region, through our myths and legends and religions, and imagination we can see the reality that all mankind has a desire for eternal life… He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart… (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

Is the Bible true?

Is the Bible really God’s Word to His creation? Is what is written about creation, about Adam and Eve, about sin, about the flood, about Abraham, about David, about Jesus… about us true? Is it true? Should I believe it? Should I trust this One who says He is the Only Way to heaven? Should I trust this One who claims He died for my sin, was buried, and was raised again in order to provide the way for my forgiveness, redemption, and eternal life? Should I trust the words of this book, even though the world mocks it, other religions condemn it, and I simply don’t understand it? Is the Bible true? Is Jesus the Son of God, Savior of all who will come to Him in faith and believe? Is He?

Am I honoring Christ with this life He has given me?

If my Jesus were to call me home right now, would I stand before Him ashamed? Have I taken His gift of the gospel and hidden it? Am I serving Him or myself? Am I using my life, talent, and spiritual gift, to equip the saints, the church, HIS body? Am I being a good and faithful steward with my money, time, and blessings? Am I sharing them or am I a hoarder of God’s goodness to me? Am I just sucking the life out of the church or am I being used by God to breath life into it? Am I living in obedience to Him and showing the world and my family and my friends by my own actions that I love Him and I believe Him and I trust Him with everything?

Last week I attended a D6 Conference. During the conference every once and a while they would pull someone up to ask them their story. They would ask how had the conference encouraged them… everyone was laughing and having a great time… and I sat there in tears thinking, “you want to know my story?”

I drove here after leaving the bedside of my friend who is dying… and left here on this earth behind her will be her young teenage daughter and elementary age son. They are close to the same age as my own children… and I cannot sit her knowing that, without asking God, If You took me tonight have I impressed Your Word on them enough? Have I taught them to love You with all their heart, all their mind, all their strength, all their soul… and to love others as themselves? Have I taught them to value You and Your Word more than anything in this world, not by my words alone but by how they have seen me live? Have I been purposeful to lay a biblical foundation in their hearts and minds, a foundation on which they will be able to stand in this world that is in open rebellion to Him? Have I impressed the gospel on them? Have I told them about sin and death and the lies of the devil and that Jesus Christ is their hope and their salvation?  Do they know my story? Do they know how God called me unto Himself and brought me to the cross of Christ? If I leave this world tonight would they have peace knowing that I am with God?

All these questions flew through my mind as I sat there… and I pray that when you read my questions… you will make them your own.

 

In just the past few hours my childhood into early adulthood friend went home to be with the Lord. Left behind are grandparents, her parents, her husband, her two young children, her brother and sister and nieces and nephews and  countless other loved ones and friends… and even acquaintances that were touched by her life and by her story…

This was her story. She fought the good fight. She faced the attack of Satan through cancer and she never turned her back on her God.

The Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered My servant Job? For there is no one like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man fearing God and turning away from evil. And he still holds fast his integrity, although you incited Me against him to ruin him without cause.” Satan answered the Lord and said, “Skin for skin! Yes, all that a man has he will give for his life. However, put forth Your hand now, and touch his bone and his flesh; he will curse You to Your face.” So the Lord said to Satan, “Behold, he is in your power, only spare his life.”

Then Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. And he took a potsherd to scrape himself while he was sitting among the ashes.

Then his wife said to him, “Do you still hold fast your integrity? Curse God and die!” But he said to her, “You speak as one of the foolish women speaks. Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?” In all this Job did not sin with his lips.

Job 2:3-10

 

This was her story. Job faced Satan and won and Beth, she faced Satan, and my friend… she won. Yes, she asked why… no she didn’t understand… but she never sinned against God or cursed Him with her lips… she was faithful until the very end… always turning to her God not away from Him.

She will never be forgotten…

When we impact the lives of others through kindness… through smiles… through joy… through laughter… through sufferings… through forgiveness… through hope… in and through Christ… we will be remembered by all those we touched and our life her on earth will live on, our legacy will continue, through all of them… even while we our selves are in the presence of the One who taught us to live this way by His own life and death. The One who came to save.

Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led around by the Spirit in the wilderness for forty days, being tempted by the devil. And He ate nothing during those days, and when they had ended, He became hungry. And the devil said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread.” And Jesus answered him, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live on bread alone.’”

And he led Him up and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time. And the devil said to Him, “I will give You all this domain and its glory; for it has been handed over to me, and I give it to whomever I wish. Therefore if You worship before me, it shall all be Yours.” Jesus answered him, “It is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God and serve Him only.’”

And he led Him to Jerusalem and had Him stand on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down from here; for it is written,

and,

And Jesus answered and said to him, “It is said, ‘You shall not put the Lord your God to the test.’”

When the devil had finished every temptation, he left Him until an opportune time.

Luke 4:1-13

 

Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit was led into the wilderness to fight Satan. My friend, Beth, full of the Holy Spirit was led into cancer. We will all face the wilderness. We will all fight Satan… I don’t know what your wilderness will look like… I just know what the One who will bring you through it looks like. He looks like hope and He smells like victory and feels like life and tastes sweeter than honey and the sound of His voice is like a gentle breeze that breathes words of comfort into the depths of my soul.

My friend was a part of my life from at least 2nd grade until well after high school graduation when we both made the plunge and got our first apartment together. We found out that we couldn’t live together… at least not at that time… neither of us was walking with the Lord at that time… and where the Lord is not, there is strife and trouble. My friend and I went separate ways and within that year we both were married and had children and then life just had us in separate directions.

Several years ago we reconnected on Facebook and now I look back and read our Private Messages to one another and I am so thankful I am not a “message deleter”.

You know I can’t remember, what were all the reasons we parted ways back in 1998, when she moved back home and I moved over into a one bedroom. Once we reconnected none of that mattered. It was even as if it never happened. We both had been to the cross since then, we both had been washed clean by then, we both had come to experience the grace and mercy of God in and through His Son Jesus Christ. She had returned and I had finally repented.

What really mattered was that we were now not just friends in the flesh but full sisters in Christ. We will live together again… this time for all eternity… because we will both be home.

I am supposed to go here in a few hours and teach children. I am about to go and try to laugh and sing and dance with preschoolers as they learn about the healing of Naaman and then will be teaching K – 5th grade about the sovereignty of God as we dig into Romans 9:14-18. Right now I am not sure if I will be able to hold it together… but by the grace of God I probably will.

I probably will because Beth is experiencing the reality that I will only get to teach about… the full healing of Creator God in Christ… and she is hearing the words, Well done, my good and faithful servant, well done.

I spent Tuesday morning with my friend, then left that afternoon to head to Kentucky for a D6 conference. I was at this conference Wednesday until Friday late afternoon. This song was sung every day during this time… and my heart sang it in honor of my friend as I prayed for the peace of her God to wash over her… especially the line that sings, and on that day when my strength is failing, the end draws near, and my time has come, still my soul will sing Your praise unending, 10,000 years and then forevermore…

 

 

 

There’s this theme that floats around Facebook… “throwback thursday”  My husband like to play this theme game. He has some picks that he will “throwback”. He told me last week that he was going to get into my yearbook and get a picture of me to throwback… and I told him, “Throwback Thursday makes me want to throw up!” 

The last thing I have wanted to do since I gave my life to the Lord twelve years ago was throwback to the days before I knew Him. That girl was dead in Christ and I preferred to keep her there in the grave of the past and press forward in this new life that the LORD by His mercy and grace allowed me to have. For a very long time, I simply shut down that part of my brain that held those memories. There was too much shame and hurt attached to them and I needed to heal.

When I met my husband, I began to walk away from the things that were in my life before him and began to cling to him. I had met the man of my dreams and I did not want to do anything to mess it up. I was the first of my girlfriends to marry, so in becoming a wife,and an immediate mother of an eight year old at the altar, my life pulled inward into family… which was exactly what it needed to do for God to get my attention and for Him to get me moving in accordance with His will.

For the past fifteen years my eyes have been focused forward. Seeking to walk in the will of my Savior and to grow in the grace and knowledge of God and striving to become the woman, wife, and mother that God saved me to be.

So Throwback Thursday has never held any appeal to me.

However today, one of dear friends, a friend I have known since grade school, a friend who I played ball, cried with, fought with, spent most of my summers with is in the final stages of cancer. Having conquered melanoma in 2010, today she is on her way home from Houston to receive treatments here so that she can be with family and friends. Tumors on her brain, in her jaws, on her liver and kidneys, continue to grow at a massive rate… and for days my heart has broke for her and her family. She has at home a young barely teenage daughter and a rambunctious young boy just now loosing his first teeth. She has the brother and sister that I grew up loving as my own and parents that were one of my second sets. My heart breaks for them…

Many are praying for a miracle… many are praying that God would just remove all the tumors… perhaps He will. Perhaps He will use my friend to display His glory in this way… but just in case He does not let us never forget that there is no greater miracle than that of salvation and resurrection!

By His stripes we are healed of the SIN, the sin that condemns all men. By His death He defeated death and our death is defeated the moment we die in Him (Romans 6). Those in Christ NEVER LOSE A BATTLE TO ANYTHING! Our victory over death and all things of this world came the moment WE BELIEVED (Romans 8:31-39, 1 Corinthians 15:53-57).

You see we bring Him glory in life and we bring Him glory in death because we have a Savior. We are children of God! We are the redeemed! The chosen in Him…

So to my friend Mary Beth Wallace Lee , YOU WON the moment you said, Yes Lord, I believe the gospel. You won the moment you said, I believe that Jesus is the resurrection and the life and whosoever calls upon Him shall be saved. I believe He alone is the Way, the Truth, and the Life, and no one comes to the Father but through Him. You won the moment that you believed that on that cross He died for your sin and by grace through faith you came to Him for salvation and because He lives you live with life eternal.

Beth, I refuse to give cancer power over you. If you leave this life it is because the One who holds the keys to life and death says, I am bringing My daughter home!

“For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing… The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed, and will bring me safely to His heavenly kingdom; to Him be the glory forever and ever. Amen”

2 Timothy 4:6-8,18

To live is Christ and to die is gain (Philippians 1:21). Precious sister, you are in a WIN WIN situation! You are victorious either way! Our Lord Jesus Christ reigns and in Him is your future and in Him is your hope… He holds you and He holds your precious children and your precious family in His hands of grace. God has used your body to bring two eternal lives into being… He has used you for His glory and as a testimony to His Son and His glorious gospel. He has used your suffering to bring many to call upon Him in prayer… only in eternity will we know how He wove your life, this story, this fight, this suffering in His grand plan of redemption, but make no bones about it, He has and He will use this for His glory and the glory of Christ!

“The glory which You have given Me I have given to them, that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me. Father, I desire that they also, whom You have given Me, be with Me where I am, so that they may see My glory which You have given Me, for You loved Me before the foundation of the world.

O righteous Father, although the world has not known You, yet I have known You; and these have known that You sent Me; and I have made Your name known to them, and will make it known, so that the love with which You loved Me may be in them, and I in them”

John 17:22-26.

Today “Throwback Thursday” doesn’t make me want to throw up. Today “Throwback Thursday” reminds me of the girl I totaled my first car with, the girl I got my first apartment with, the girl I used to stay up all night playing Mario with, the girl I used to play cupball with, the girl I used to trade books with, the girl I used to walk down a gravel road to her grandparents with, the girl I still hung out with once high school was behind us, the girl I used to get into a lot of trouble with, and the girl that also came to know the Lord as her Savior, the girl that I know even when this life is over for the both of us, I will get to spend eternity with…

Beth, this life took us in different directions but I hope you know that I love you and you are forever a part of me and I will see you again my friend! 

*** Beth went home to be with the Lord late Saturday night, October 19th, 2013. She rose to her glorification Sunday morning just like her Lord! She worshiped Sunday morning in His physical presence in the heavenly temple with all the saints of God that have already went home before her. My, I bet it was AWESOME! Our God is good… Jesus just simply could not go another day without wrapping His nail scarred arms around her.

Father, I desire that they also, whom You have given Me, be with Me where I am, so that they may see My glory which You have given Me, for You loved Me before the foundation of the world.

~ Jesus

Yesterday I wrote a post, God Forbid It!, but time (and already being way over the recommended blog post word count) didn’t allow me to complete my train of thought. Today I hope to come closer to completing it, though probably not, because on this side of eternity and with this finite mind it’s simply impossible to complete any thought on our God, except the thought that He is indeed GOD.

You can read yesterdays full post by clicking the title of it above. I am beginning this post by copy and pasting the ending of the it:

I have learned that before I pray, I am to ask God how I am to pray, because I do not know the greater purpose behind the circumstances.

Our human reaction to suffering is to remove it from ourselves and others as quick as possible… but sometimes, no most of the times, the sufferings are meant to bring us into the very presence of God, because without them, sin and Satan convince us that we don’t need Him…

In the days of His flesh, He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to the One able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His piety. Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered. And having been made perfect, He became to all those who obey Him the source of eternal salvation,

Hebrews 5:7-9

So how we do know what to pray when we are faced with suffering… or we are faced with the suffering of the ones we love?

In the above passage in Hebrews, did you notice how Jesus approached His suffering?

…with loud crying and tears to the One able to save Him from death

Did it sound like Jesus was super duper excited about His sufferings or not concerned about it all?

Absolutely not!

Yes, He is God, but let us not forget He is also the Son of Man. He came to be the answer to all our questions… He came in the flesh so that He would be able to sympathize with everything that we will ever go through. As we consider how to handle suffering and what to pray when faced with suffering, we don’t have to look any further than our Jesus… who came to teach us all things.

In the gospel of Mark we read

And He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved to the point of death; remain here and keep watch.” And He went a little beyond them, and fell to the ground and began to pray that if it were possible, the hour might pass Him by. And He was saying, “Abba! Father! All things are possible for You; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what You will.”

Mark 14:34-36

Jesus called out to His Father in heaven and said, “All things are possible for You” He had no doubt that God could keep Him from going through this suffering. ALL THINGS are possible for God. Jesus never had a doubt concerning the authority, power, or ability of God. Jesus knew that God was not up in heaven wringing His hands together, pacing the streets of gold, racking His brain, trying to figure a way out of this mess so that His Son would not have to suffer. Jesus fully knew with absolute certainty that with one thought His Father in heaven could remove this cup from Him. Ability and possibility was never the issue.

The issue was always the will of God.

The soul of Jesus was grieved. He was hurting. The agony of His heart is clearly seen. It has been recorded here for us, I believe, so that we can know that the pain we feel, the grief we experience, the agony that comes from suffering does not mean we doubt our God, nor does it mean we lack faith… it simply means this hurts.

We see this again, as we see our Jesus respond to the suffering of others.

Therefore, when Mary came where Jesus was, she saw Him, and fell at His feet, saying to Him, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.” When Jesus therefore saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled, and said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to Him, “Lord, come and see.” Jesus wept. So the Jews were saying, “See how He loved him!”  

John 11:32-36

Jesus saw their weeping and was deeply moved and troubled and He Himself wept. He saw their suffering and it broke His heart. He wept with them… He wept with them KNOWING He was about to raise Lazarus from the dead. The fact that He knew eternal life was coming did not negate the fact the separation of death hurt. And the fact that the separation of death hurt did not mean that Jesus lacked faith or assurance in the resurrection.

Jesus also wept knowing that Mary’s accusation was true. He didn’t rebuke Mary for her words. Jesus did not have to let Lazarus die. However, this was the will of God. He was to die… He was to die because Jesus was to raise him from the dead, so that all who were watching would see the works of God displayed!

Beloved it’s okay to weep. It’s okay to hurt. Death’s separation hurts… and just because it hurts it does not mean that we doubt that those in Christ live even though they die. It doesn’t mean we lack faith. It doesn’t mean we love our God any less… it simply means this hurts.

Jesus rebuked Peter when he said, “God forbid it!” but He did not rebuke Mary when she said, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.” 

So how do we pray and what do we pray?

“Abba! Father! All things are possible for You; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what You will.”

We pray in faith, knowing that God can do all things, yet we pray in humility and trust, ready to accept His will, even when we don’t understand.

We, here in the States, live in a day when it seems that we should have the means and ability to save everyone from physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual pain. We have a self-help books and universities full of people seeking for the right pill and method to stop suffering. Yes, I believe medications and treatments are gifts from God to help us in this fallen world, but they are not our salvation. God’s word has told us to pray for the sick and the suffering, but let us pray also remembering that suffering is never needless nor is it ever without purpose.

 The sufferings remind us that we are fallen.

The sufferings remind us that we are helpless.

The suffering remind us that we need a Savior.

The sufferings cause us to look out from ourselves.

The suffering allow the works of God to be displayed in us…

Our human reaction to suffering is to remove it from ourselves and others as quick as possible… but sometimes, no, most of the times, the sufferings are meant to bring us into the very presence of God, because without them, sin and Satan convince us that we don’t need Him… 

Sin, suffering, mercy, grace, judgment, joy, love, peace, and everything in between either draws us to the cross of Christ or causes us to run from it… My hope is that no matter what you suffer, or how you see others suffer, this suffering causes you to run to the cross of Christ, to the throne of grace that His suffering made available to all who would come through Him.

Most of all, let us never forget that this world is not our home.

 

This world is fallen and full of suffering. The decaying of this earth is evident all around us, even though todays science tries to convince us that the earth started out as decay and has progressed to its current “superiority”. Most of our life’s mission is to remove suffering from mankind. We have decided that with enough education and control we can make this earth a perfect place. We will find the cure for all the effects of sin! We will find a pill to fix all emotional ills, a treatment for all physical ills, a method for all mental ills, and a stage for all spiritual ills. We shall not accept the consequences of sin… or see any purpose in suffering.

Our first reaction to anyone we hear of suffering is usually always the exact same of that of Peter… “God forbid it!”

 

From that time Jesus began to show His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised up on the third day. Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, “God forbid it, Lord! This shall never happen to You.” But He turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God’s interests, but man’s.”

Matthew 16:21-23

Jesus announced that he must go to Jerusalem to suffer… the suffering was in the purpose of God from the beginning. The suffering was the only way to bring salvation to mankind. However, Peter was not on board.

God forbid it!

God forbid that you, the one I love, should ever be mistreated, hurt, or have to suffer in any way. God forbid that you go through any pain. God forbid it. Not you! Peter never even took a moment to let the words of the One He had just pronounced the Christ, the Son of the Living God, sink in. As a matter of fact He rebuked Him. Can you imagine? Peter rebuking the Son of the Living God? Can you just imagine the pain and fear that shot through Peter’s heart as he heard these words of Jesus? It would have to be a pretty emotional moment for him to rebuke his Teacher. This suffering made no sense to him at all. He did not want to see the One he loved suffer. Do any of us?

When we hear of anyone going through any kind of suffering, our first knee-jerk reaction is pull out the Scripture reference a couple of verses above this passage from Matthew 16…

I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; and whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven.

Matthew 16:19

We start casting out cancer cells, rebuking illness in the name of Jesus, binding the suffering and loosing the healing as if we are God. “God forbid it, Lord! This shall never happen to You.”  Then when the cancer doesn’t listen and the illness remains and the suffering continues we find ourselves questioning our faith, our god, our prayers, and we even find ourselves making excuses for our god… and I use a lower case “g” on purpose in this context.

How does Jesus respond to Peter’s knee-jerk reaction of God forbid it?

 “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on God’s interests, but man’s.”

Get behind me Satan? What? I mean Peter just doesn’t want to see the one he loves suffer… how could that be Satan? Isn’t Satan the one who inflicts and causes all suffering, so someone wanting the opposite of that and keeping that suffering from happening must be on God’s side right?

Not according to God.

”We use a term quite often here in the States, “needless suffering”.

I disagree with this term.

I don’t believe that suffering is ever needless… or purposeless.

We see this fact Biblically in the life of Christ and in the history of the early church. Jesus healed. He made the lame walk, the blind see, the deaf hear. He cleansed the leper, cured the lunatics, and raised the dead. After His death, burial, resurrection, and ascension He sent His apostles out all over the world doing the same to validate their words were His words and their power was His power.

The sufferings remind us that we are fallen.

The sufferings remind us that we are helpless.

The suffering remind us that we need a Savior.

The sufferings cause us to look out from ourselves.

The suffering allow the works of God to be displayed in us.

Suffering is never needless or without purpose.

As He passed by, He saw a man blind from birth. And His disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” Jesus answered, “It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.

John 9:1-3

Last week during my 9 year old Bekah’s bedtime devo, one of the questions asked was, “What has God done to show His power to you?“

Bekah’s response was quick. She immediately said, “Aunt Tracy and Aunt Phillis. God saved Aunt Tracy and Aunt Phillis has had breast cancer, colon cancer, and now has liver cancer, but God is taking care of her”  

My sister Tracy was in a horrible car accident, she still suffers pain from this accident until this day. My sister-in-law Phillis has been fighting some form of cancer for years and takes regular chemo treatments, but both these women suffer with grace. They still love their God and I dare say they love Him more today than they did before their sufferings began. 

And as a result of their sufferings, when their nine year old niece sees them, she thinks of the glory of God, of the power of God, of the works of God.

For this finds favor, if for the sake of conscience toward God a person bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly.

1 Peter 2:19

These women didn’t do anything to deserve these sufferings… there was no particular sin that they openly and purposely participated in to bring on these sufferings. They came upon them simply because this world is fallen and sufferings come as a result.

When we look back at the acts of our Christ, think, would these people have ever came to Him had they not been experiencing sufferings? Would those who witnessed their sufferings ever have put forth the effort and energy to get them to Jesus had they not shared in their sufferings as they witnessed them?

No beloved, just because we don’t like suffering, does not mean that is needless or without purpose.

I have learned that before I pray, I am to ask God how I am to pray, because I do not know the greater purpose behind the circumstances.

Our human reaction to suffering is to remove it from ourselves and others as quick as possible… but sometimes, no most of the times, the sufferings are meant to bring us into the very presence of God, because without them, sin and Satan convince us that we don’t need Him…

In the days of His flesh, He offered up both prayers and supplications with loud crying and tears to the One able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His piety. Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered. And having been made perfect, He became to all those who obey Him the source of eternal salvation,

Hebrews 5:7-9

Have you ever had one of those days when you knew it was going to be a struggle when your feet hit the floor? Yeh, I had one of those yesterday, I am praying that it stays in yesterday, where it belongs.

I am currently studying through the book of Matthew. A few days a ago I was digging into Matthew 5:38-48. As I read, But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. (Matthew 5:39), I thought to myself, hmmmm I wonder what the Greek word is for evil in this verse? So I looked it up…

Poneros

1. full of labours, annoyances, hardships
   1. pressed and harassed by labours
   2. bringing toils, annoyances, perils; of a time full of peril to Christian faith and steadfastness; causing pain and trouble
2. bad, of a bad nature or condition
   1. in a physical sense: diseased or blind
   2. in an ethical sense: evil wicked, bad

Wow.

I read this definition and looked up to my husband and said, well I just learned something… imagine that I was studying the Word and I learned something (lol).  To which he replied, you know that just proves that this is a living Book, you take any other textbook that size and study it for years and you know it… but this Book… no matter how long you study it you never stop learning from it… you never know it all.

Yes, this Book is indeed a living a Word.

For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

Hebrews 4:12

So as I learned that an “evil” person, could very well be that stressed out, weighed down, over-worked, person in front of me driving two miles an hour down an unpassable road… or that person that is crawling their buggy through the center of the isle and blocking everyone else on both sides and all I really want to do is get in and get out because I hate shopping as it is… I need to not be overcome by the emotions of my own evil (annoyed, stressed, overworked, weighed down)  flesh that begin to rise up in my gut and in my throat and make my neck do that twitching thing…because if I do… out of my mouth will come things that Jesus would not say.

Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:21

Yesterday I felt the enemy jump on my back at daybreak. The sun barely up and I knew he would be messing with me. I knew it and still I snapped. I knew it was him… and still I was overcome… I fought the “mood” but there were moments when I decided that succumbing would feel much better… so I did, I let evil overcome me, and then on the radio I heard, “when they see me, do they see You?”

I wanted to roll my eyes and say, oh shut up, to the radio. But instead I tweeted the song lyric. And said, yes Lord.

I got home and more irritating- annoying- frustrating- things happened… and once again I was overcome as I sent an “I quit, they can do this on their own” text message to my bestie and partner in messes of all sorts… 

Then later at home while even more irritating- annoying- frustrating- things happened… once again I was overcome as I snapped in my flesh at my youngest who was in the midst of being beyond giddy because a prize she had been saving for over a year was finally hers and she needed help with it… 

My husband checked me on my attitude.

And well that just really ticked me off!

So once again, I had to say, yes Lord.

I went upstairs for a while and took care of one of the “burdens” that was weighing me down… the laundry. After I accomplished that and spent some time breathing and letting the Spirit of God readjust my attitude… I came down the stairs a little lighter.

I am thankful for my God and for His Son and His Spirit…

I am thankful that the Word of God is living and active always and we never are finished learning and being taught and guided by it… and I am thankful for Matthew 6:33…

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

I am to seek HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS not my own.

You see, I have none. I am a complete wreck. This flesh has the ability to wreak havoc in my mind, body, and soul. It has the ability to destroy my character and my integrity and my testimony. It really just profits me absolutely nothing, and I can’t wait for the day it is removed from me. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t look for my Jesus in the sky… searching the horizon… straining my ears for the sound…

Come quickly Lord Jesus. Come quickly.

 

We complain a lot in America… most of us have this inborn sense of entitlement… we call ourselves broke when we can’t afford that new car or that trip to the beach. Many times when we profess to not be able to put food on our own tables, we manage to find the money to buy cigarettes, alcohol, tattoos, and hair dye. I am not a legalist… I am not here to say those who smoke, drink, have tats or purple hair are hell bound. Anyone who knows me in real life knows that is so not true.

However, when I can’t afford food for my children… but can find funds for these things then something is wrong.

The thought process seems to be… I can get someone else to feed my kids, there are food banks and food stamps and wic and and free health care, etc. So I will let them do all that and I will use the little I have for these things that I can’t get for free because someone else will pay for my kids food and clothing. I don’t know of any tattoo shop that is going to let you walk in and say, “I really need a tat… but I can’t afford one because I spent every dime I have on providing for my family, so do you have a program for free tats for those in need?”

I know that there are those who truly are in need in our nation… I am not mocking… we live in a dark day. However I don’t believe our need is really food, shelter, and clothing… but more our need is knowledge and right thinking.

Therefore My people go into exile for their lack of knowledge;
And their honorable men are famished,
And their multitude is parched with thirst.

Isaiah 5:13

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My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.
Because you have rejected knowledge,
I also will reject you from being My priest.
Since you have forgotten the law of your God,
I also will forget your children.

Hosea 4:6

Our thinking is so out of whack. Our current culture is as backwards as they come. The American idols we have set up, this idea to become the freakish and most outlandish and shocking… and most Americans cheer it on or tune in to watch so they can talk about how outlandish and shocking it is… so that they can by their excuse “to know” give the ratings needed to continue the financial funding.

Our church had a 24 hour prayer time this past weekend and I walked the halls in prayer and entered into the classrooms… when I approached the door of the Toddler room I was overwhelmed. Tears welled my eyes and the heaviness of the Spirit of God weighed on my heart… these kids must know truth. This generation… must be fully equipped to stand firm. It must begin NOW! I entered the Nursery… those new to this world and the welled tears began to fall… we must teach them now. We can’t wait until they can “read”, until we think they “get it”, until they can explain it back to us… who am I to suppose what God is cementing in their soul? I am called to sow… it’s His job to grow and reap.

Are you sowing?

Or are you only focused on what you yourself are  or are not reaping?

God desires His people to be HIS PEOPLE!

Truth: I am blessed. My husband and I are in a day of walking in a reward of faithfulness. I am very much aware of that. Our heart and mind and soul went through a season of great testing. So many times I heard the whispers of hell to run, to quit, to fall away from the faith. However the Word of my God in front of me kept saying…

I AM THAT I AM. I AM GOD. TRUST ME.

We chose to trust truth. To do what the Word said to do. To not listen to our emotions. To walk by faith.

Today I know that God has rewarded my family for that faithfulness… every good gift comes from above, it comes from my Father in heaven. However I am not holding too tightly to them. I love my God because He is my God… not because He rewards me.

Today with every apparent “blessing” I stop and ask.

Is this a blessing from my God or a distraction from my enemy? 

I don’t want to be distracted. I want to keep the main thing the MAIN THING. If I am not being used to bring people into the kingdom, to be the hands and feet of Christ, to teach and preach the gospel… then I am not blessed, but cursed.

So when anything is offered to me under the description of a “blessing” I must stop and ask…

“Father, is this from you?”

I am raising kids in America, but I do not want to raise American kids. I don’t want to raise kids that are only focused on what this world can bring them… I want to raise kids that are focused on what their life can bring to the world… I don’t want to raise another Disney generation that makes their fame off the innocent and trusting and then turns and laughs and leads those that built them up straight down the path to depravity and death.

I want my kids to have eyes for the hurting to bring them hope… not eyes for the desperate to bring them death. Right now I have one that wants to play softball at the University of Alabama while she studies to become a doctor… I pray for her heart every day… I don’t know about the softball thing… it scares me a little… but I pray that God would open doors that need opened and shut doors that need shut in order to keep her in His purpose and plan for her life.

Today I watch her now choosing to serve rather than be served.

As I listen to others grumble and say, “unfortunately I am stuck in the nursery this week” I watch her eyes light up when its her turn to serve. I see her step up and choose to keep her commitment to the adult choir and leave early from the youth or go later to the youth. I see her willingly choose to serve in the 2 and 3 year Puggles club rather than be served.

She can do all this because she feeds herself the Word of God daily. She is full and is only looking for opportunities to poor out into others instead of worrying about what someone else is doing for her. She doesn’t walk in the doors of the church looking for what is offered for her… but what she can offer to others.

You better believe this mother is protecting that girls heart with my own shield of faith and so is her father… we are bathing her in prayer and covering her in our grace and standing firm against the schemes of the enemy who WILL attempt to distract her with the things of this world.

We know this.

I do not ever give a rip if my kids are successful  according to the standards of American success… I just want them to be faithful to their God and His calling on their life… no matter what that is… My husband and I talk… and we can see our Shelby walking out the door of our house at 18 years old and never looking back as she jumps head first into whatever God has called her to… and God has already placed role models in her life to give her vision hope…

Kristianna Puckett, at the ripe old age of 18 years old, was given eyes to see the hurting in Uganda… and she walked out her American door and into a little pink house in Uganda and is pouring her life out for the glory of Christ as the director of Yesu Asobola Ministries

So in her my girls can see that they can be kids raised in America, but they don’t have to become today’s American kids… I don’t want them looking for meaning in life through a job or a college degree or through a man… I only want their worth and meaning to be based on their love for Jesus and their service to Him.

He is key…

All else hangs off of Him…

He is the Root, the Vine, the Tree… we are too abide in Him.

 I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.

John 15:5

 

I write this from a swank hotel in Nashville… reaping the benefits of a God-loving, hard-working, risk-taking husband. A husband who with every job promotion opportunity has left for the interview with a prayer that if the receiving of this advancement would keep him or distract him from being the husband and father that God has called him to be, that He would shut the door… and yes some doors have been shut… and it hurt for the shutting… but the blessings in our home have remained abundant. Our home is full of peace, love, joy, grace, mercy, hope… and forgiveness.

I almost at times feel guilty about where we are in our life and I look back and am amazed at how God brought us here… and the last thing I want is for the blessings that came to us through facing trials in faith be used by that slimy serpent from hell to distract our girls from faithful devotion to Christ.

Therefore, you shall keep the commandments of the Lord your God, to walk in His ways and to fear Him. For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and springs, flowing forth in valleys and hills; a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive oil and honey; a land where you will eat food without scarcity, in which you will not lack anything; a land whose stones are iron, and out of whose hills you can dig copper. When you have eaten and are satisfied, you shall bless the Lord your God for the good land which He has given you.

Beware that you do not forget the Lord your God by not keeping His commandments and His ordinances and His statutes which I am commanding you today; otherwise, when you have eaten and are satisfied, and have built good houses and lived in them, and when your herds and your flocks multiply, and your silver and gold multiply, and all that you have multiplies, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord your God who brought you out from the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. He led you through the great and terrible wilderness, with its fiery serpents and scorpions and thirsty ground where there was no water; He brought water for you out of the rock of flint. In the wilderness He fed you manna which your fathers did not know, that He might humble you and that He might test you, to do good for you in the end.

Otherwise, you may say in your heart, ‘My power and the strength of my hand made me this wealth.’ But you shall remember the Lord your God, for it is He who is giving you power to make wealth, that He may confirm His covenant which He swore to your fathers, as it is this day. It shall come about if you ever forget the Lord your God and go after other gods and serve them and worship them, I testify against you today that you will surely perish. 

Deuteronomy 8:6-19