Category Archives: Children’s Ministry

Children's Ministry, Proven Path Ministries

Where I Want My Kids To Be When

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“And whoever in the name of a disciple gives to one of these little ones

even a cup of cold water to drink,

truly I say to you, he shall not lose his reward.”

Matthew 10:42

At my last children’s ministers’ meeting the current president of our group asked us to consider where we wanted our kids to be when they left our ministry and went into the youth. I will be at my first children’s minister conference on the day of the meeting that we will be sharing our thoughts so I have decided to put mine in writing in here.

Where do I want my kids to be? What do I want them to know by the time they leave me? Well here’s a quick top 25:

1) Have a solid biblical worldview

2) Have a strong relationship with their parents/guardians or another adult authority figure within the church

3) Have a full understanding of what the gospel is.

4)  Know that God loves them and that through Jesus they can know God intimately

5) Know all of the books of the Bible and the ability to navigate the Bible

6) Know how to read the Word of God asking who, what, when, where, why, and how

7) Know that Scripture never contradicts Scripture and the Bible must be interpreted within the context of the text

8) Know that they did not become sinners because they sinned, but that they sin because they are born sinners

9) Know that the Bible is the Word of God and it is infallible

10) Know that obedience is evidence of faith

11) Know that real love requires sacrifice

12) Know that salvation is by grace through faith and be able to explain what that means

13) Have the confidence and knowledge to share the gospel with others

14) Be focused on seeking to serve rather than to be served

15) Have a hunger and thirst for more of the Word of God

16) Know that they were created by a Holy God for the glory of God and are meant to enjoy Him forever

17) Know that apart from God they are nothing

18) Have a basic understanding of the doctrine of salvation

19) Know that God never ever ever breaks His promises

20) Know that God always keeps His Word

21) Have such a strong conviction concerning the validity and authority of Scripture that they are not shaken by the questions or mockings of unbelievers

22) Understand that the Scriptures contain everything they will ever need for guidance in this life and know how to seek wisdom from God through His Word and prayer

23) Know how to pray

24) Know that God is sovereign and is actively involved in the things of this world and in their every day lives

25) Know that as long as they have breath they are to serve the Lord, praise the Lord, and honor the Lord.

 

I suppose this could seem like a tall order… but it is my “where I want them to be” list and I believe it is possible because of what I have read in the Word of God concerning other children. Especially the Child who came to us specifically as an example:

And when He became twelve, they went up there according to the custom of the Feast; and as they were returning, after spending the full number of days, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem. But His parents were unaware of it, but supposed Him to be in the caravan, and went a day’s journey; and they began looking for Him among their relatives and acquaintances. When they did not find Him, they returned to Jerusalem looking for Him. Then, after three days they found Him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, both listening to them and asking them questions. And all who heard Him were amazed at His understanding and His answers.

Luke 2:42-47

 

In the desire to see the kids under my watch get at least these 25 things, I carefully and purposely choose curriculum and activities that will help engage not just the kids, but their parents. I desire to help equip parents to teach their children at home and I seek to encourage children to respect and honor their parents. I try to look for activities that will build the parent/child relationship. I try to look for children’s events that will help to open the eyes of the kids to their spiritual gifts so that when they enter the youth they are ready to serve and want to serve.

I don’t have any formal training. I really have no clue what I am doing, I just take it one step of obedience at a time. I don’t know if I am doing anything right or the way it is recommended to be done… perhaps I am doing it all wrong according to the status quo. I really don’t know. This keeps a cloud of insecurity over my head, but perhaps that’s there to make sure I don’t get too big for my britches and if that’s the case I am all for it. Pride comes before a fall… and I am tired of falling.

I just love Jesus, His Word, and His church. I just have to trust that a love for God’s Word and a love for His people and a willingness to say “Yes Lord” is enough.

And I suppose bottom line that’s what I want for my kids as well…

When the kids that leave the children’s ministry under my watch enter the youth… I want them to be in love with God, in love with His Word, in love with His church, and I want them to be willing to say, “Yes Lord… whatever it is, yes”

I am thankful that I know that the power of salvation lies in the gospel not in me. I am thankful that God’s purpose stands according to His choice and my works have nothing to do with it, and neither do my kids, but it’s all according to Him who calls… and in that assurance and knowledge I can serve Him in confidence in Him regardless of my own personal insecurities.

I simply try to remember why I went off track when I was at that age and I try to teach them what I did not know, and what I did not know how to know, and hope against hope that they become a Joseph, an Esther, a Daniel, a Mary, young but bold and strong in the Lord and unyielding all the days of their lives, no matter their government leaders, their schooling, their family, their circumstances, their trials, their testings, always FAITHFUL to the LORD.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Children's Ministry, Proven Path Ministries, The Romans Study For Kids

Romans Study For Kids (Romans 8:31-39)

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After a month on a missions focus the children at Shiloh begin digging back into the book of Romans! We begin Romans 9 this coming Sunday… here are the handouts for Romans 8:31-39

Romans 8:31-39

31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?

32 He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?

33 Who will bring a charge against God’s elect? God is the one who justifies;

34 who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us.

35 Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

36 Just as it is written,

“For Your sake we are being put to death all day long;
We were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

 

37 But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.

38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers,

39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

 

It’s almost time to finish Part Two of our study. These last verses are some of my favorite in the whole Bible.

Read Romans 8:31-34. How many questions are asked in these verses. Circle your answer.

1        3        4        5        7

 

Now let’s look at them one by one.

  1. What shall we say to these things? 

    What things? Could it be all the things that we have learned in Romans from chapter 1 all the way up to chapter 8? Circle your answer.

Yes                    No

2) If God is for us, who is against us? 

     If God is for you, can anyone come against you? Circle your answer.

Yes                     No

  1. He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?

     If God loved us so much that He gave His Son for us, do you think that He will also help us in every thing else in our lives? Circle your answer.

Yes                       No

 

  1. Who will bring a charge against God’s elect? 

        If God has said you are forgiven? If God has said you are free? Is there anyone who can change that? Circle your answer.

Yes             No 

  1. God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns?

        If God has said you are saved, can anyone else say you are not? Circle your answer.

Yes                 No

 

Read Romans 8:34 again. In Romans 8:26-27 we learned that the Holy Spirit intercedes for us. Who we do learn also intercedes for us in Romans 8:34?

__ __ __ __ __ __   __ __ __ __ __

 

Read Romans 8:35-36. This verse asks the question, who will separate us from the love of Christ? Read through these verses and list the things that it says WILL NOT separate us from the love of Christ.

____________________           __________________

____________________           __________________

____________________           __________________

____________________

Read Romans 8:37. According to this verse how do we respond to all these things listed in Romans 8:35-36?

we overwhelmingly  __ __ __ __ __ __ __  through __ __ __ who  __ __ __ __ __  us.

Read Romans 8:38-39. What else are we to be convinced of that can never separate us from the love of God?

neither __ __ __ __ __

nor __ __ __ __

nor __ __ __ __ __ __

nor __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __

nor things __ __ __ __ __ __ __

nor things to __ __ __ __

nor __ __ __ __ __ __

nor __ __ __ __ __ __

nor __ __ __ __ __

nor any other __ __ __ __ __ __ __    __ __ __ __ __

 

THINK ABOUT IT…

Wow! Is there anything left that could separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus? So if nothing can separate us, can we ever lose our salvation? Will Jesus ever leave us? Look up and read Hebrews 13:5. I think it’s time for a big “Thank You” to our God! Let’s sing Him a song write now. How about “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so!”

Children's Ministry, Proven Path Ministries, The Romans Study For Kids

Romans Study For Kids (Romans 8:28-30)

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After a month on a missions focus the children at Shiloh begin digging back into the book of Romans! We begin Romans 9 this coming Sunday… here are the handouts for Romans 8:28-30.

Romans 8:28-30

28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

29 For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;

30 and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified

Have you ever wondered why bad things happen? We may not always know why some things happen, but as we look at our verse today we will learn something that will help.

Read Romans 8:28. What does this verse tell us that we should know?

we know that God causes __ __ __   __ __ __ __ __ __ to work together for __ __ __ __

Did this verse say that all things were good? Circle your answer.

Yes             No

Who does this verse say that God will cause all things to work together for good for?

those who  __ __ __ __  God

those who are  __ __ __ __ __ __  according to His       __ __ __ __ __ __ __

According to Romans 8:28 what can we know that God will do with all the things that happen to those who love Him? Use the space below to answer in your own words or draw a picture to answer.

 

 

 

 

Read Romans 8:29. Why would God choose to cause all things to work together for good? Whose image is He making us into?

the image of His __ __ __

 

THINK ABOUT IT…

Have you ever played with play-do? If you have any at home go get some and come right back. Have you got it?

Do you have a mold for the play-do or maybe a cookie cutter? If you do, go get it and come right back. Have you got it?

Okay, now look at the play-do, squish it in your hands. Right now, that play do is like you before you have Jesus. It’s formless and without a purpose. 

Now look at your mold or cookie cutter. That mold is an image of something right? 

When you take the play-do and try to put it into that mold you have to tear away the parts of the play-do that do not fit. As you fit the play-do into the mold, you are conforming it into the image. 

This is kind of like how God conforms us into the image of His Son. Sometimes He has to tear things aways from us, some times He has to squish and shove us, some times He has to press us… but it all will work together for good and eventually we will look like the image of His Son.

Once you get all the play-do in the mold or cookie cutter set it down and read Romans 8:30. 

Read Romans 8:30 and complete the list below.

those whom He predestined He also __ __ __ __ __ __

those He called He also __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __

those He justified He also __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __

Look at your play-do again. Take a moment to slowly pull the mold or cookie cutter away from the play-do. When the mold is removed does the play-do now keep the image? The play-do no longer is formless and without purpose. It now looks like something! It looks like the image it was conformed into. When we are finally glorified, when we finally get our new bodies, we will finally look like Jesus.

Look up and read 1 John 3:2-3. When Jesus appears who will we be like?

We will be like __ __ __

According to this verse, if we believe this, really believe this, then how should it affect our life?

everyone who has this hope fixed on Him                      __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ himself

How can we purify ourself? Look up and read 1John 1:9 to find out. Is there anything you need to talk to God about it? If there is, do it now.

 

Children's Ministry, Proven Path Ministries, The Romans Study For Kids

Romans Study For Kids (Romans 8:18-27)

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After a month on a missions focus the children at Shiloh begin digging back into the book of Romans! We begin Romans 9 this coming Sunday… here are the handouts for Romans 8:18-27.

Romans 8:18-27

18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

19 For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God.

20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope

21 that the creation itself also will be set free from its slavery to corruption into the freedom of the glory of the children of God.

22 For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now.

23 And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves,waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body.

24 For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees?

25 But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.

26 In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;

27 and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.

Have you considered what it means for you to suffer with Jesus? Well let’s begin to think about this by looking at Romans 8:18.

Read Romans 8:18. What does Paul tell us about the sufferings of this present time? Are they worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us? Circle your answer.

Yes                 No

 

Read Romans 8:19. What does creation wait eagerly for?

the __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ of the sons of __ __ __

 

Read Romans 8:20-21. What do you learn about the creation? 

it was subjected to  __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __

it will be set free from its  __ __ __ __ __ __ __

 

Look up and read Genesis 3:17. What do you learn was cursed when Adam and Eve sinned?

the  __ __ __ __ __ __

 

Read Romans 8:22. How does the creation respond to its slavery and corruption?

it __ __ __ __ __ __  and  __ __ __ __ __ __ __

 

THINK ABOUT IT…

When God created the heavens and the earth they were good. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God sin did not just enter them, it entered the whole world. The serpent, Eve, the ground, and Adam were all cursed because of sin. The earth was created to glorify God and to provide the needs of mankind. After sin came, the earth began to die. Today we have tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, droughts, and fires. Today trees die, flowers die, and crops die. Today animals attack, bugs bite, and fish eat each other. This is not the way God created it to be. So even the earth groans and suffers and longs to be free from death and be made new.

 

Read Romans 8:23. Who else groans?

__ __      __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __  groan within

__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ , waiting eagerly

 

What are we waiting eagerly for?

the __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __  of our __ __ __ __

Read Romans 8:24-25. How do we wait?

with  __ __ __ __

 

Read Romans 8:26. Who helps us while we wait?

the  __ __ __ __ __ __

 

Read Romans 8:26-27. Let’s pay close attention to what we learn about the Spirit of God in this passage. How does He help us and why does He help us? There is chart below. Finish filling in the “How” and the “Why”

 

HOW WHY
helps our __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ we are not yet in our new bodies (Romans 8:23)
__ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __  for us we do not know how to  __ __ __ __  as we should
searches  __ __ __ __ __ and intercedes for the  __ __ __ __ __ __ He knows what the __ __ __ __ of God is

 

THINK ABOUT IT…

How awesome is it that when we belong to Jesus, the Holy Spirit comes and lives inside of us and helps us. He helps us pray and He helps us hope. He helps us while we wait to get our new bodies to go with our new heart. Jesus promised us that He would send us a Helper and He always keeps His promises.

Take a moment to look up and read John 14:16-17. Then take a moment to tell Jesus thank you for keeping His promise.

That’s enough for today. 

Children's Ministry, Proven Path Ministries

Around The World

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Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations,baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

Matthew 28:19-20

On Saturday Sept 28th, I had the privileged of taking some of my kids on a field trip. We loaded up the church van about 6am that morning and headed south to Lineville, Alabama. I had heard about this place through one of our homeschool co-op mom’s. Her and her daughter had been a few years before.

As a children’s ministry leader I am always looking for opportunities for my kids to learn how to flesh out the gospel. I want to expose them to all the different opportunities I can so that maybe, just maybe, a fire will be ignited within them at an early age with a passion for the great commission. I believe that we can raise Joseph’s and Esther’s and Daniel’s and Mary’s. I simply don’t buy our backwards American culture that says every child has to be a rebel without a cause with a past full of regrets being dragged behind them into adulthood. I believe rather that they can be a rebel against this culture with a cause… the cause of Christ!

My heart, while the Lord allows it to beat, is to teach every child (and every adult) that the Lord allows me to teach, to have a passion for Christ, a passion for His Word, and a passion for His people.  I have such a strong desire to teach these children to see outside themselves and realize how big this world is and yet at the same time see that it is so very small… I want them to learn to be content with what they have and not live life for the next big thing, or new thing, or gotta have it thing, but to live it for the glory of God.

Needless to say, I was pretty excited when I heard about SIFAT, Servants in Faith and Technology.

SIFAT

The morning began with the introduction into what SIFAT stood for… our guide asked the kids, “What do you think of when you hear the word technology?” They began to respond with Ipod, Ipad, Xbox, DS, etc. Our guide then asked them, “Well, if you lived in a place where there was no electricity how much would this technology benefit you?” The kids quickly responded with, “It would only be good for one charge and then it wouldn’t be good anymore”

Hmmmm… have you ever thought about that? We pay hundreds of dollars for items that are completely worthless if they have no access electricity. There is no alternative use or worth for them. Apart from a plug, uncharged, they are just a piece of junk.

Anyway.

Our guide shared with the children that SIFAT works to create appropriate technology and brins it into these countries and areas that we were about to pretend to visit. She explained that appropriate technology was technology that was actually useful for the people where they were at. One of the examples that the children would see would be a smokeless wood burning oven…

Our trip began in the rural mountains of Bolivia:

Bolivia

 

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The kids learned that the Bolivians lived in small huts, slept on blankets on dirt floors, and raised guinea pigs for food and farmed on the side of the mountains. They thought Bolivia was pretty cool…

Next we visited Guatemala and the kids got to make homemade tortillas and eat them!

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So they thought Guatemala was awesome as well.

Next we visited the Philippines.

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While visiting the Philippines they learned about tinikling…

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We visited several other rural settings in several other countries. I believe we visited Uganda, Liberia, Nepal, and Malawi…

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and the kids also learned about to make bricks for building some of the homes they visited…

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I was beginning to wonder if they were going to get it.

You see all my kids are outdoors kids. These are farming kids and hunting kids and just get outside and play kids. They walked around these rural villages thinking they were the coolest “tree houses” and “club houses” they had ever seen. They were fighting over whose house was the boys house and whose house was the girls house. They thought all the woods and bridges and trees and walking sticks were great. They were a little unnerved by the lack of bedrooms and the fact that everyone was all in one room and they would have to share beds with their brothers and sisters, but over all. I could see their minds thinking that this would be like the most awesome camping trip ever. They were having a blast.

Then it was time for our last “village”.

The slums.

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Our guide set all the kids down and explained to them what they were about to see. Then he shared with them that over one million people lived in slums, and these slums are found in every country in the world. He also told them that before they went in they were to walk through and think about the things that would be difficult about living here. He also shared with them that they were to be respectful, for many people, this was home. They were to refrain from being rude about the living conditions.

I was concerned before the children went in… I wondered how they would react…

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The kids were quiet.

They walked through and you could tell they were thinking…

For the first time that day I believe it finally hit them. In this village no one was running in and out of the homes fighting over whose house was whose. There was no picking the girls house or the boys house. This was not a place they wanted to call home.

After they spent some time in the slums our guide began asking them questions about what he asked them to think about before they entered the village… and I loved hearing them answer because it showed they were really seeing.

I don’t know if this trip has planted a seed for the desire to serve in a foreign land in the hearts of any of these children… but I do pray that at the very least it opened their eyes to their abundance of so many things… so that when they hear of need they would meet it.

Our people must also learn to engage in good deeds to meet pressing needs, so that they will not be unfruitful.

Titus 3:14

Hopefully one day they will at least be able to decide that sending an orphaned child to a school that will teach them the Word of God and providing for their medical needs will be more important than that daily Starbucks stop. Perhaps they won’t grumble and call themselves poor and broke simply because they can’t afford that new car or that satellite upgrade.

Hopefully it was enough to plant a seed of awakening to the needs of others more than their own… Perhaps it will encourage them to be good stewards of the grace of God and His gospel… Perhaps it is a start in the end of the “me generation” and spark for a Psalm 24:6 generation…

This is the generation of those who seek Him,
Who seek Your face…

Psalm 24:6

 

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For more info on SIFAT click here: Servants in Faith and Technology

 

Book Reviews, Children's Ministry, Proven Path Ministries

Is Your Child Manipulating You?

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This is probably one of my most favorite chapters. This is a chapter that I find of utmost importance because it is so easy as a parent to find yourself on the receiving end of it, before you even come close to realizing it.

There are two things that get in my crawl more today than ever before because I fell prey to it often before my eyes were opened and my heart strengthened enough to stand against it… being patronized and being manipulated.

There are some that are very good at this… and there are many I once respected greatly, until I realized this was their trade, and after several interactions, I have forgiven, but no longer trust them.

So knowing how these two tools of getting what we want greatly hurt others, the last thing I want to do is teach my children to do this to others by allowing them to practice and perfect this trade on me.

Our girls try.

Why of course they try… and sometimes had not my husband and I been working together and been very careful to have each others back our girls would have been successful in using manipulation to get their way. It’s easier to see from the outside looking in than when you are caught in the middle of it.

Our girls have never raised their voice to us, but when not taking no for an answer they have resorted to trying to change that no to a yes by pulling out guilt initiating cards. You know, make us feel bad for the no, by throwing in a completly unrelated, “but you said…” Our girls know how much we value keeping our word and how much we value them keeping their word, so trying to make it appear that we have not done so is their favorite tool of manipulation to get what they want.

In this chapter Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller share:

Don’t allow your children to convince you to make changes you know aren’t in their best interest. Furthermore, don’t let them use manipulation to get what they want. Habitual manipulation over time damages relationships. Many adults are manipulative. It’s time to address this dangerous area now, in children, before it develops into a lifelong pattern.

Being able to accept no as an answer is a spiritual skill all people need to learn. A lot of temptation is out there, and children need to learn to say no to themselves in order to stay within appropriate boundaries. Salvation provides a framework for us to know what to say no to. Titus 2:11–12 shares these helpful words, “For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say ‘No’

~ The Christian Parenting Handbook (from chapter 30, Don’t Give In To Manipulation)

 

When I wholly surrendered to the Lord, I for the first time had the power, insight, and discernment to say “no”. I could really say no to things that before I could not. The grace of God and the Holy Spirit in me gave me authority that I had never owned before. If our children know the Lord, then they have the power to say “no”. We have to teach them that the grace of God teaches them when to say no. Until they understand this, and especially if our children do not know the Lord, we have to say no for them, and we have to stick to it, because they have not the power within themselves to stick to it.

No matter how many times, or how many different tools our children try to use to get our no turned into a yes, we have to hold our God given parental authority ground.

In this chapter Dr Turansky and Mrs Miller also point out that we need to recognize the difference between perseverance and demandingness. They share that the line has been crossed when children value their issue more than the relationship. When a child yells at a parent or says unkind things because he doesn’t get what he wants, he’s crossed the line.

In this chapter they also point out that badgering, arguing, whining, dramatics, silent treatment, and passive resistance are all tools children use to manipulate their parents into giving them what they want. Our children can be very stubborn and very persistent in their stubbornness… Let us not forget that our beautiful little rays of sunshine are still selfish sin sick creatures.

One thing my husband often tells our girls is, “I promise, you cannot out stubborn me.”

They will try.

We have no doubt they will try.

However, my husband and I are on the same team… and we have been down this road before… we know the tools… we have tried them ourselves on our own parents when we were kids. You see, we are ready to stand together. Yes, that’s right. It’s us against them, yet working with Him, to get us ALL on the same team: The Jesus Team.

You still have time to enter the book giveaway.

And if you miss the giveaway you can order one from here.

And once again if you live anywhere around Somerville AL, join us in January at Shiloh as we go through the book and it’s study guide together.

 

 

Children's Ministry, Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries

Don’t Practice In The Grocery Store

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Don’t Practice in the Grocery Store is the title of chapter 24 in The Christian Parenting Handbook. In this chapter Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller focus on parenting in public. The thing is parenting in public doesn’t begin in public, it begins at home. One of the quotes at the beginning of the chapter is “Kids who haven’t learned how to accept correction at home without a bad attitude will miserably fail the test when they have an audience.” 

They share how “you don’t practice your discipline strategies in the grocery store. That’s the final exam! You practice in the kitchen, bedroom, laundry room, and backyard. Children need to learn how to to handle disappointment at home so they can accept a no answer in the check-out line.”

In this chapter they share this example from Mom and four year old Ricky:

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My husband and I can testify to this method.

This is something that was always important in our home. To this day when we call our children’s names, the response from them is “Coming!” It’s not “what” or “why” or “wait a minute” or “let me finish” and it is definitely not no acknowledgment. The only acceptable answer is “Coming!”

There are three words that my husband and I are under firm conviction that our children clearly understand.

Stop

No

Their name.

This was not so we could execute tyrannical fear and power over them, it was because we knew that their ability to immediately respond to these three words could mean their very life. If our girls were chasing a ball out into the street and we yelled “Stop” they had to know to stop! Not ignore us. If our girls were about to stick a wire in a light socket they had to know that when we shouted “No” it meant “No”. If our girls heard us call their name they had to know that this meant come and come now. What if we saw danger approaching and we knew that any change in our demeanor would give away the fact that we knew danger was approaching and we needed that knowledge to remain unknown and we needed our girls by our side immediately? When we called their name they had to know to come to us, regardless of the reason.

I remember how this conviction was even more deeply rooted in me after I walked through the ghetto in Warsaw and through the death camps in Poland. These children’s ability to obey their parents, to be quiet when they said quiet, to come when they called their name, to stop when they said stop, to be accepting when they said no… could mean their life and the life of others.

Just because my family is not fighting a seen enemy does not mean we are not fighting one….

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Ephesians 6:11-12

The conviction to these words came from the beginning with our girls. We didn’t baby talk with them. I hear parents quite often look at their little newly mobile children, just now crawling and beginning their adventure into the things of this world, and as they crawl toward danger, the parent picks them up and smiles and giggles as they baby talk to them and say, “No, No, that’s a No, No” and the baby just smiles and giggles back at the parent…

The parent has just made “NO” a game.

No is never a game.

The same thing happens with Stop…

Then they wonder why their now two, or three, or four, or fourteen year old has zero respect for their “No” or “Stop”

Moms and Dads…

 But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil.

Matthew 5:37

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But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath; but your yes is to be yes, and your no, no, so that you may not fall under judgment.

James 5:12

Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller share how we get into relational patterns with our kids. Perhaps you are in the same rut with your kids that Ricky’s Mom was in. This book helps you identify that pattern, then gives you the practical tools you will need to change it. Or maybe you just needed encouragement that you were on the right path in some areas after all. This book will do that as well.

I am telling you, it’s really good stuff!

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For those who might not be fully aware of the historical context of the death camps and ghetto mentioned in this post, please know that these camps were initiated  by the German Nazi’s led by Adolph Hitler. I walked through the camps located in Poland in 2006 with the March of Remembrance and Hope:

The March of Remembrance and Hope (MRH) is a program designed for university and college students of all religions and backgrounds. The program takes place in mid-May, and includes a two-day trip to Germany, followed by a five day visit to Poland. The international MRH program was founded in 2001 by Dr. David Machlis of the United States and Eli Rubenstein of Canada, both of whom were involved in the March of the Living program.

During the trip students visit locations in Germany and Poland related to the Holocaust and other World War II genocides, including the site of the Wannsee Conference, and the former concentration/death camps of Auschwitz, Treblinka and Majdanek.

The purpose of the March of Remembrance and Hope is to teach students of various religious and ethnic backgrounds about the dangers of intolerance through the study of the Holocaust and other World War II genocides, and to promote better relations among people of diverse cultures.

Holocaust survivors also participate in the March of Remembrance and Hope program, sharing their painful memories in the very places in which their stories transpired. During the trip, the students also meet one of the Righteous Among the Nations, and learn of the heroic actions a minority of Europe’s population took to resist Nazi tyranny.

Children's Ministry, Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries

Ideas are Easy

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As I shared in my last post, It’s Another Giveaway, Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller are offering another special on their book, The Christian Parenting Handbook. In the introduction of this book they share that “Ideas are easy. Implementation is hard, because that’s where things get complicated.”

We are flooded today with books and seminars of ideas and opinions on how to raise our children. Teachers at our children’s school or day care, our friends (or maybe not friends) at church, our extended family, all have their own ideas and methods to share on how we could best raise our children.

So I have to share a quote from a study that I am currently in, Raising Godly Children in an Ungodly World. In the video lesson for this study Ken Ham asks:

Do you know what God’s Word says about raising children? If not, whose methods are you using to raise yours? 

The bottom line is, you are using someone’s methods. So whose is it? Stop for a moment and think and ask yourself…

Why do you make the rules you do?

Why do you allow what you allow?

Why do you discipline the way you discipline?

Why do you discipline what you discipline?

Whose model do you use to form the relationship that you have with your children?

Whose words do you use in a moment of frustration with your child?

Whose words do you use in a moment of praise over your child?

What are you teaching your children through the way you interact with them?

What direction are you leading them?

 

Have you ever sat down and even asked yourself these questions, or are you just trying to survive until bedtime?  Do you even like your children? If not… why not? How much time do you spend comparing your child to others and evaluating your success or failure as a parent on what you think you see in someone else’s family? If you do, how does this effect the way you see yourself and your children?

Do you know what I love about this book?

bookandhandbook

 

 

This book, this study, is designed to help you implement! It is designed to help your individual family implement. Dr .Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller recognize that every child is different and every parent is different and the circumstances in every home are different. However, God’s Word does not change. He does not change. Therefore, He is the only One who can be the solid foundation on which any family can build. In this book we as parents are taught how to take God’s truth, His opinion, and His methods on how to raise our children and implement them in our own individual and unique homes.

This book teaches us how to not just focus on the behavior of our children, but to focus on their hearts… because as our Lord says:

…the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart…

Matthew 15:18

 

One thing I have realized in our world today is that we spend a lot of time covering our kids mouths, hanging our heads in shame when something comes out that is quite embarrassing, or rushing to apologize for what our child just said and telling them that we better never, ever, ever, hear that come out of their mouths again… but in our embarrassment and rush to just get out of the situation, do we ignore what this moment has just revealed about the condition of our child’s heart and the content of their character?

Have we just missed an amazing opportunity given to us by God through the revealing of our child’s heart that we cannot see with our human eyes? Is this a moment gifted to us by the grace and mercy of God for us to take hold of and not let pass by?

A moment when we can clearly see into the heart, mind, and soul of our child.

A moment, an open door, to teach them the things and thoughts and ways of God…

The bottom line is every single one of our kids is born with a sick and deceitful heart (Jeremiah 17:9), not a one our kids escaped this heart condition. Not a one. They all need Christ. They all need teaching, training, reproof, correction, encouragement, love, and grace…

I remember once in Children’s Church I had a young man upset and in tears because he felt someone had lied to him and not kept their word to him. In his tears he was plotting his revenge on what he was going to do to get back at them. I then remembered some of the tools I had learned from this book, and I remained calm, and took the young man’s face in my hands. I looked him in the eyes and told him that I understood that he was hurt and upset, but God tells us that we should not return evil with evil, but we should return evil with good. I shared with him, that he may not have all the information, and maybe this was not that this person had lied, but maybe they just had made plans before they knew what their family was doing that day. He shook his head and wiped the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand and walked out the door to head to the sanctuary. After I had gathered all the other children and got them seated I sat down beside this young man. He then turned to me and said, Mrs Nicole, I am going to take their things that are in the tree house and clean them all up for them, so when they are able to come everything will be ready.

I was so proud of him!

So moms and dads, let’s not shake our heads and say, I can’t…  

Let us instead fix our eyes on the One who says, YOU CAN!, and get up and fight for the hearts of our children. I believe that the Word of God can work! Do you?

 

 

*** If you are in the North Alabama area my church will begin studying through this book in January on Sunday nights at 5pm. You are welcome to join us!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Children's Ministry, Proven Path Ministries

It’s Another Giveaway!

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Come, you children, listen to me;
I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

Psalm 34:11

The Biblical Parenting University is about to have another awesome push for their Christian Parenting Handbook… It actually began yesterday! The next few weeks I will posting a little more from the book so that you can see a little bit of what you will be getting if you invest in this study.

For my Shiloh Baptist Church families we will begin studying through this book together in January! So this is a perfect opportunity to go ahead and get the book while it is at it’s special discounted rate and enter the giveaway. Right now at Shiloh we are learning how important it is to teach our children a Biblical Worldview and to build under them a solid foundation… in January with The Christian Parenting Handbook, we will learn how to implement God’s Word practically in the discipline and nurture and admonition of our children in the Lord.

 

I am excited to partner with Marcy over at Ben and Me in a giveaway of 10 copies of The Christian Parenting Handbook, authored by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN of The National Center for Biblical Parenting.
This biblical parenting book shares 50 heart-based strategies for all the stages of your child’s life.
In this book you’ll learn how to:

Identify character qualities to address problems
Build internal motivation
Transfer responsibility for change to the child
Teach kids to be solvers instead of whiners
Use creativity to teach your kids spiritual truths
Avoid the “boxing ring”
Envision a positive future
And much more!

With these strategies you’ll be able to move from behavior modification to a heart-based approach to parenting. Instead of relying on rewards, incentives, threats, and punishment, you’ll learn how to identify heart lessons to teach your child and implement them in practical ways.
 
I am excited that 10 people will receive a printed copy of The Christian Parenting Handbook! 
To enter the giveaway, use the Rafflecopter below. Entrants should be at least 18 years of age and reside in the United States. Other Terms and Conditions can be found on the Rafflecopter widget. Just click the link below to get to the entry widget 🙂

a Rafflecopter giveaway

 

Be looking for future blog post… I hope that in them you will see why I am so excited about this material 🙂

Children's Ministry, Proven Path Ministries

How Did It Go

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I am reading through a book, Rock-Solid Children’s Ministry by Larry Fowler. In the book he asked a question… he asked when you, as a children’s leader leave the room and your spouse asks you, “How did it go?” and you respond, “It was the best day in ministry ever!”, what makes you respond with that answer?

Can I be honest?

I don’t think I have ever responded with that answer?

I believe my most positive answer to this question, is I think it went really well, and that is usually said with a hint of uncertainty. Most days I walk away feeling as though I have just epically failed, at the very most I walk away feeling as though maybe God might have used me to help something in His Word make sense to them.

For me, in children’s ministry or in any ministry that God has allowed me to serve in, I can’t measure whether that ministry is a success or not in the moment… for me successful ministry has nothing to do with whether or not the kids pay attention that day, whether or not I have a room full of visitors, whether or not I actually am able to complete a sentence or read an entire passage of Scripture without calling out someone’s name to turn around, sit down, close your mouth, keep your hands to yourself, etc, whether or not all my teachers and workers show up…

For me a successful ministry could only be measured years down the road…

Will these children who sit before me now still be seeking the face of God thirty years from now?

Will these children who sit before me now teach their children to love the Lord their God with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength?

Will these children who sit before me walk in a manner worthy of their calling through Jr High, High School, College?

Will they seek to their lives according to the Word and not according to the world?

Will they love and serve the church, the body of Christ?

I leave every Sunday, every Monday, every Wednesday, every opportunity in between… with a heart both heavy and hopeful… and asking in a nonchalant you really don’t have to answer me, but I am asking anyway kind of way… Did I do okay today, God? Did they hear? Did you open their hearts today? Did the seed take? Was it watered? Will it bear fruit? 

I teach them and pour what I know into them and I look in their eyes and I see souls that I know can right now make a HUGE impact for the kingdom of Christ as servants for the Most High God. I teach them and pour what I know into them and I look in their eyes and see future men and women of God who might have to give their lives and freedom for the sake of the gospel one day… or prepare their children to.

The fact is I can’t measure whether my ministry is a success. I have come to realize I never will be able to do that. Human measurements cannot measure heavenly treasures… and I know not what lies above. I can only lay what I have, the opportunities I have been given, at the foot of the altar of my Lord’s throne… my offering to HIM… my service to HIM… my life as a living sacrifice laid out on the altar of grace as my spiritual service of worship.

So how did it go?

I don’t know… and when I get to the place when I will know, I don’t think I will even ask because I will finally be before my Lord face to face and really, I just want to run into His arms and be wrapped up in HIM and held tight and hear, “well done… my good and faithful servant… well done.”