Her children rise up and bless her…

Proverbs 31:28

My girls know today that I love the Lord. They jokingly and lovingly call me a “Jesus freak”. As far as they knew I had always loved God and loved Jesus and loved the church and studied and taught the Word of God… they had never known me not to.

In the back of my mind I have always dreaded the day that my children would learn of who I once was…

However the day I dreaded came.

When riding home with my youngest child one day, just me and her in the car, our conversation turned to my past… I can’t remember how… this happened a couple of months ago… through the conversation my child realized that I was 24 years old before I began to walk with the Lord.

My precious eight year old grabbed my hand and tears began to roll down her face as the thought of all the years I missed with the Jesus that she loves so very much hit her… and even though I did not discuss with her all the many mistakes and horrible choices I made during these Christ-less years she knows enough about the difference of lifestyles between those who love God and those who do not, that instinctively she knew more than I had to tell her…

So as her little heart broke over my sin… my heart broke all over again.

She grabbed my hand and her eyes teared up and I could see her disappointment in me… and I could see her tears begin to fall and she turned her face away from me and to the window… but she never let go of my hand.

I asked her why she was crying… even though I knew… but I knew she needed to tell me. She didn’t want to… I could tell she didn’t want to say anything to hurt me, she said, “It makes me sad that you didn’t know Jesus until you were 24 and I know Him already…“

I then explained to her that I wish I had known Him when I was her age to… but I know Him now… and I have known Him for over ten years now… and I encouraged her to keep walking with Him and to never walk away from Him.

This is why I am so passionate about learning the Word and about sharing the Word and the testimony of Jesus Christ.

Please…

Please…

Please… do not think that the choices you are making today will not affect the hearts of your children tomorrow… even the children you have yet to have. I will never forget the look on her face when the reality of my past disobedience to God hit her… and it wasn’t my sins… it was the loss of the time of the relationship with my Jesus who she knows I so love that her broke her heart… and precious one this is what breaks God’s heart.

It’s not our sins… it’s the fact that our sins separate us from Him.

It’s the separation. The broken relationship that breaks His heart.

He doesn’t want you to lose a moment of fellowship with Him… precious one stop and think about your choices… your walk… and know that someone’s heart is always breaking over your sin.