Monthly Archives: September 2011

Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries, Uncategorized

>Woman Behave Thy Self

2 Comments

UPDATE May 1, 2023: I wanted to delete this post, but deleting doesn’t undue for anyone who might come back to it to reference. So I have decided to simply update it here at the beginning. This post was written in 2011. I was a 35 year old wife and mother who had only been walking with the Lord for about 10 years and was so desperate to be obedient to Him and to honor Him with my life in every way because I was so broken and hurt and I didn’t want my girls to ever experience what I had been through. In my open heart to God then, I have since realized that I was wide open to toxic teaching as you will see if you choose to read the original post.

My eye opening began in 2018. You can read about it here: https://www.nicolelhvaughn.com/wearing-nothing-but-a-crown/
Now here in 2023 I cringe at how I was used in my brokenness and oppression to share this false teaching that kept me and countless other women in bondage and abuse. I thank God that He led me to freedom while I still had the opportunity to unteach what I was indoctrinated in to my own girls and to share it with others. 
For whom the Son has set free is free indeed!
Below is the original post.
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“For the queen’s conduct will become known to all the women
causing them to look with contempt on their husbands
by saying,
‘King Ahasuerus commanded Queen Vashti
to be brought in to his presence,
but she did not come.’”
Esther 1:17
My girls and I are studying through the book of Esther. The verse above is the memory verse they are to learn from the study of the first chapter. When I saw this was the recommended memory verse my first response was, “Why on earth is this the memory verse?”  
I mean, really?
At a casual first reading of this first chapter in the book of Esther, my initial reaction to Vashti’s response to the King, was “You go girl! You ain’t his puppet on a string! You ain’t just some thang for him and his buddies to gawk over! That’s right honey, you just say no!” 
But that initial, first response is the reason why this is the memory verse.
“For a man ought not to have his head covered,
since he is the image and glory of God;
but the woman is the glory of man.”
1 Corinthians 11:7
When we dig a little deeper in this chapter of Esther we see that there are three banquets. The first lasts for 180 days and is for all the “big dogs” of the land. The second lasts for 7 days and is for all the kingdom from the greatest to the least. The third was Queen Vashti’s party for the women.
The King calls his Queen after this second 7 day banquet. He called her to come not just before him, but before her people. He called her to display her beauty as a picture of the beauty of the kingdom and as a representation of his glory. This call was not a “common cat call”. It wasn’t simply to call all the boys together and give Vashti a slap on the booty and say “boys ain’t she perty!”
This was Queen Vashti’s call to come and represent the glory of her husband who was also her king. This was her time to come into the presence of the people with her back straight and her head held high, to come in honor and respect, while her husband, and yes the people of her kingdom, looked upon her with her pride and admiration.
“As for Titus,
he is my partner and fellow worker among you;
as for our brethren,
 they are messengers of the churches,
a glory to Christ. 
Therefore openly before the churches,
show them the proof of your love
and of our reason for boasting about you.”
2 Corinthians 8:23-24
Should our husbands not be able to say:
As for my wife, she is my partner and fellow worker in this life, she is a messenger of our family and a glory to me as a man, her husband who is the head of her home. So honey, come and show them the proof of your love for me and the reason why I speak so highly of you… I would love for you to meet my beautiful wife.
(I don’t know about you, but I find absolutely nothing insulting about that.)
What Queen Vashti did, was spit in her king’s face. She despised is place as head over their family and head over this kingdom. She did not show him any respect what-so-ever.
“Nevertheless,
each individual among you
also is to love his own wife
even as himself,
and the wife
must see to it
that she respects her husband.”
Ephesians 5:33
The thing is, I do believe that the King had fulfilled his end of this verse. He loved Vashti as himself, he equated her with his glory and the splendor of his majesty. He boasted of her beauty to everyone in the kingdom, even when the wine was talking, he was still talking about his beautiful wife…
but did Vashti respect her man?
Ummm no, I don’t think so.
You see she had her own personal feminist movement taking place at banquet #3. She had all her “girls” around her and I imagine they were having a full blown “man bash” at this little get-to-together. I can hear them now… “Oh you think yours is sorry, let me tell you what mine did…” 
(Now please know this is not to say that we do not need to seek wise counsel as we learn this role “wife” in marriage, wise counsel is a must, issues will arise in marriage, but these issues are meant to be discussed with someone who can advise you as an impartial, someone who will speak truth into your life and not just encourage your own personal side of the situation )
 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior,
not malicious gossips
nor enslaved to much wine,
teaching what is good, 
so that they may encourage the young women
to love their husbands,
to love their children, 
to be sensible,
pure,
workers at home,
kind,
being subject to their own husbands,
so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
Titus 2:3-5
Then the call comes for Vashti to come to her king…
Vashti could have used some wise counsel at this time, she needed some teaching, but instead I lean more to believe that what she got was more like this:
Can’t you just here the girls…
“Oh no he didn’t!” 
“Well, I’m just sayin if I was you I would tell him, ‘I don’t think so!'”  
“Oh girl, it’s time for you to take a stand”
“Girl, don’t worry, he’ll be mad, but he’ll come around when he wants some.”  
“Yeh, Mr Euneuch boy, go tell the Kingy that his Queeny said she’s busy.”
“Girl, this is your time, you better tell him to step!”
Woman behave thy self!
Your King has called.
Your beloved has summoned you into his presence.
He’s had you on his mind.
He’s been talking about you for days… what else could you possibly want?
Why on earth would you spit in his face and insult his honor and disrespect his authority before his people by denying him such a simple request?
Ladies, wives, let us be very careful how we represent and respect our husbands… have we not seen the fulfillment of the fear that these men had over Vashti’s response to the King in our current day? Maybe we have so many “sorry men” simply because we have made it that way by our lack of respect toward them. We are not meant to cower before men in fear, but simply to respect and submit to our own husbands and honor them as men called to protect us, care for us, provide for us as the representation of Christ and His bride…
Yes I know that in this life, in our marriages, we can not demand, nor control their love for us, or the way they treat us, or honor us. Your husband may be cold, he may be indifferent, he may be borderline cruel, but we can still choose to be obedient to our Maker who is our eternal Husband (Isaiah 54:5).
We can show respect to our husbands (even if they seem not to deserve it) by our obedience to God’s instructions to us as wives. Our husbands are responsible to God for their own actions, as we are for ours. Let us just be obedient to God and leave the consequences to Him.
**** Disclosure****
I do not mean abusive by “borderline cruel”… if your spouse physically or emotionally or mentally abuses you or your children seek help immediately. Talk to someone now. Don’t put it off another day. There is hope for your marriage and for your future.
Devotional Studies Through the Bible, Uncategorized

>Elohim

>

In the beginning God created
the heavens and the earth.
Genesis 1:1

Here we are in the book of beginnings; the book that has been passed down the generations since the days of Moses, the one chosen by God to write His most holy Word. In this first chapter, God reveals amazing things about His character, about who He is.
I don’t believe we can realize the depth of what God shows us about Himself without looking at the Hebrew translations of some of the words used in this first chapter.
“In the beginning God:” In the Hebrew, God is Elohim, meaning plural, more than one—God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit. How amazing that we see the Trinity in the very first sentence of the Bible.
“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” Created in the Hebrew is bara ex nihilio, which means “created out of nothing.” God is the only one who ever took absolute nothing and made it something. From this verse in God’s Word we see that the first something that God created was time.

We next see the creation of space and matter. God created the universe and the very components that make it exist. Components that in themselves represent the essence of who He is, the blessed Trinity. If one component was missing, the universe would not exist—each component unique yet equally needed, all three working together to form the one universe.

In chapter one of Genesis, we are introduced to action verbs that give us insight into God. We read, “And the Spirit of God was moving.” The word moving in Hebrew is rachaph; it means to flutter, shake, move. The Spirit energized the earth, bringing it to life. The phrase “then God said” is often repeated in Genesis. The word “said” in Hebrew is “amar”, it means to command.; God commanded and it was. God always speaks with authority.
In verse four we read, “God saw.” The word saw in Hebrew is ra’ah. When God “ra’ah” His creation, it meant He approved, enjoyed, and joyfully looked upon it. Genesis 1:4 declares that “God separated.” Separated in Hebrew is badal; it means to divide, to distinguish, to utterly sever.

Then we see that “God called,” which in Hebrew is qara. It means He named with authority, He proclaimed and called out to, and He properly addressed His creation by name. When we read “God made,” in Hebrew it is “God asah” and means that He fashioned, He formed, and He finished.

In verse seventeen, “God placed,” or Elohim nathan,which tells us God appointed, ordained, occupied. He appointed the occupancy of the lights in the sky exactly where He ordained them.

One of the last action verbs in chapter one is “God blessed.” Blessed in Hebrew is barak. It means to praise, to salute, to adore. Have you ever considered the thought that God looked over all His creation, which included man, which includes you, and he adored it?

When we look at Genesis chapter one in light of the Hebrew translations of our English words, we can see intricate details that have oftentimes been overlooked, details that expound upon the character of our Creator. Our God did not flippantly throw the world together. He created with power and authority, with care and precision, and with great joy and adoration. My precious one, spend today resting in the realization that your Elohim addresses you by name and He adores you.
Oh Father,
I praise you, for you are the beginning of all. You created out of nothing.
You spoke, and the earth formed.
You commanded, and the light obeyed.
You control time, space, and matter.
You shape and form the very dust of the earth, every star in the sky.
You alone put the sun in its place, and by your word, it shines.

Psalm 19:1 says, “The heavens are telling of the glory of God; and their expanse is declaring the work of His hands.”
Psalm 147:4 says, “He counts the number of the stars; He gives names to all of them.”

You uphold all things by the word of your power (Hebrews 1:3).
My Jesus, you are Creator of all things (John 1:3), and all things were created through you and for you (Colossians 1:16).
You are the center of the universe, the beginning and the end.

Worthy are you, my Jesus, the Lamb, standing as if slain (Revelation 5:6).
Slain for my redemption, to pay my debt, to reconcile me to you, my Father God. Slain to make me holy, to be my righteousness, to bring me life. Slain to bring me back to where God said it was good.

Oh thank you, my Elohim! You are all this and more, and yet still you adore me. Oh may your Holy Spirit fill me, teach me, guide me, and create in me a clean and pure heart. May you, my Father, be able to joyfully look upon me.

My Jesus, it’s in your name I pray,
Amen

Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries, Uncategorized

>New Blog

>After submitting my second book to my publisher and realizing that maybe, just maybe, there was another way to do this… I have decided to not go through with a second publication.

Having recently discovered the “blog world” I have instead chosen to take my vision of a devotional series through the Torah, the books of the Law, and turn it into a blog that will go past the Torah and all the way to Revelation:

Devotional Studies Through The Bible

I hope that you will join me on this journey as well, and that you will share this blog with your family, and friends, and all those you meet in your own blogging communities, and outside them as well.

As much as it thrilled me to receive that “yes, we would love to publish your manuscript” my desire never really was for a royalty check… but that God might use me to open eyes to the beauty and relevance of the Old Testament.
The pressure of wondering if people will actually buy the book is more pressure than I want to bear at this time. It is a weight I need not carry, for my joy is in sharing the gospel, teaching the Word, and simply not leaving all that God has shone me in my study time in a notebook in the attic, but getting it out there in the world so maybe it will help someone else.

Devotions From Genesis is out and books are still selling and there even is another book signing coming up in October, I of course, would be overjoyed to have everyone purchase a copy of this book, but the dream is not to just sit at a table and sign a book, but to tell of the glory of my Creator God and leave someone with a tangible thing to take with them that will hopefully help them to persevere through all the begots and cubits and names that are almost impossible to pronounce. 

Maybe someday I will pursue the publication of Devotions from Exodus Part 1 and Part 2, and then Leviticus, and Numbers, and so on, but then it will simply be turning the blog into books and not the books into a blog.

So my friends I invite you to join me on this journey through the Bible, one devotion at a time, beginning today…  🙂

Devotional Studies Through the Bible, Uncategorized

>Introduction to Devotions From Genesis It’s Not Just Ancient History

>

Introduction
With every turn of the page in God’s Holy Word there is more and more of who he is, to man , to the whole world, to those who belong to him, and to those who refuse him. His Word is so precious to us. How true the disciple answered when Jesus asked them if they were going to leave him too, Simon replied “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have words of eternal life.” (John 6:68)
Where would we go if we had not his Word, his promises, to cling to? We would go down in a pit. We would be in darkness. We would be drowning in a world of confusion. We would be unable to decipher the top from the bottom, frantically searching for light to lead us to the top where we could breathe again.
Possibly you are already there or fear yourself on the threshhold. I understand. I have been there. Know my precious one that God has not forsaken you, nor will he ever. He is there, desiring greatly to show you his truth and to help you understand the heart of the psalmist when he wrote, “This is my comfort in my affliction, that Your word has revived me.” (Psalm 119:50)
As Jesus walked with the disciples and explained the Scriptures, he too will walk with us. He sent us the Holy Spirit to guide us into all truth. I believe our search for truth, our search for revival, should begin at the beginning.
I began my search with Genesis and the God I discovered there was one I realized I did not know. The joy of my discovery impacted my life greatly and ignited a passion within me to encourage others to leap into the pages of the Hebrew Bible, the Old Testament Scriptures.
My hope is that the daily bites of this devotional will only wet your appetite and create within you an unsatisifiable hunger and thirst for the Word.
My prayer is that God will open your eyes and your heart to the glorious wonders in his Word and guide you into all truth. I pray that he will give you a greater understanding of his Word and make it as a part of you as your marrow is to your bones.
To God be all the glory and honor and praise!
Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries, Uncategorized

>Rainy Sunday

>There is something about a rainy Sunday that is so calming. It’s days like this that I wish we had a open building with a tin roof with a hammock hanging close to the opening yet still under the shelter of the roof…

This Sunday begins a new time in life. A new church year, a new class… for both me and my husband. We have shared our Sunday morning class for the past 10 years, either as attenders or teachers. This season I am teaching one class, the Precept study, Spiritual Gifts, and he is attending an all men’s class. He has said today that he very much enjoyed the class.
I love couple classes, but I agree that there also are times that certain needs cannot be met in a couple’s class that can be met in an all men’s or all women’s class. It’s also good to be able to switch up your class in order to get to know more of the people in your church. I am glad that our church has chosen to take the steps that we have in order to open the door to do exactly that.

[and yes if you live in my area this is an official invite to join me in worship at Shiloh 🙂 if I have even just managed to make you a little bit curious about this man our Biblebelt South calls Jesus, then come and allow me to introduce Him to you as I know Him… it would be my pleasure]

So this rainy Sunday has been a good day. We enjoyed a wonderful time of fellowship with other believers. Our pastor was rushed to the hospital in the early morning with a possible appendicitis, but he is good now, no appendicitis. In the meantime our youth minister brought an excellent message on how it is time for the church- me, us, you, to live differently.

It reminded me of another quote from Dr Martin Luther King Jr:

For so many Christians, Christianity, is a Sunday activity having no relevancy for Monday and the church is little more than a secular social club having a thin veneer of religiousity. Jesus is an ancient symbol whom we do the honor of calling Christ, and yet his Lordship is neither affirmed nor acknowledged by our substanceless lives… We need to pledge ourselves anew to the cause of Christ. We must recapture the spirit of the early church. Wherever the early Christians went, they made a triumphant witness for Christ. Whether on the village streets or in the city jails, they daringly proclaimed the good news of the gospel. Their reward for this audacious witness was often the excrutiating agony of a lion’s den or the poignant pain of a chopping block, but they continued in the faith that they had discovered a cause so great and had been transformed by a Saviour so divine that even death was not too great a sacrifice… Where is that kind of fervour today? Where is that kind of daring, revolutionary commitment to Christ today? Is it hidden behind smoke screens and altars? Is it buried in a grace called respectability? Is it inextricably bound with nameless status quos and imprisoned within cells of stagnant mores? This devotion must again be released. Christ must once more be enthroned in or lives.    

but after we had already suffered
and been mistreated in Philippi,
as you know,
we had the boldness in our God
to speak to you
the gospel of God
amid much opposition
1 Thessalonians 2:2

So as I sit here in the comfort of my home and listen to the rain fall, and dream of listening to it rain on a tin roof while I lay in a hammock and watch it fall, I also contemplate the reality that I am too comfortable and I am indeed reaching the point that I am uncomfortable in my comfort and I have an ever increasing longing to be one who is called strange, even a fool, by the world because I “am intoxicated with the wine of God’s grace” as I boldly proclaim the gospel of my God.

On the day I called, You answered me;
You made me bold with strength in my soul.
Psalm 138:3
Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries, Uncategorized

Ultimate Failure

Please watch this video before you read the rest of the post:
What would you do?

Well, I discovered what I would do as I was in New Orleans. I discovered that I would walk by, not making eye contact. I was more brave with my husband and would offer a smile, but my heart was gripped with the “what if they approach me?”

There is one instance in particular that is seared in my brain and heart forever now. When my husband was in meetings I was on my own. I was not comfortable at all on these streets without his presence beside me. So as I ventured out one day to get lunch I thought I would be brave enough to go past the Arby’s that was right next to our hotel.

I ventured out, but I ventured out in fear. Trying not to make eye contact with anyone. (My shoulders sag now in defeat as I remember that I was to be strong and courageous.) There was one woman that was sitting up against a building shoeless. As I walked past she asked me for money for shoes. I kept walking as though I never heard her. I did not even acknowledge her existence.

How very cruel of me.

I could use the excuse that I was a woman alone on the streets of New Orleans following my husbands instructions to be careful… but that just doesn’t seem to justify the situation in any way does it? I could use the excuse of email after email that claims that rapist and murderers and thieves use the “female in distress” tactic to lure in victims, but even this does not make me feel any better about my action… or rather my lack of action.

What I wished I would have done is to have sat down against the wall with this obviously broken woman and asked her what her story was. I wish I would have looked this woman in the eyes and showed her compassion. I wish I would have taken the time and opportunity to discover who she was. How did she end up her on this street, with no shoes, asking strangers for money?

Oh how I regret that I did not do this.

She asked for shoes… and I should have told her of the shoes of the gospel of peace.

“and having shod YOUR FEET
WITH THE PREPARATION
OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE;”
Ephesians 6:15 
Where were my beautiful feet?
“How will they preach unless they are sent?
Just as it is written,
“HOW BEAUTIFUL ARE THE FEET
OF THOSE WHO BRING GOOD NEWS
OF GOOD THINGS!”
Romans 10:15

Apparently my beautiful feet were left in the comfort zone of my hotel room. My feet were not beautiful at all on these streets of New Orleans. I left my room not with the prayer of  “God use me today to share your good news.”  I left my room with the only thought of “God, let me get something to eat and make my way safely back to my room.” 

“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,
Because the LORD has anointed me
To bring good news to the afflicted;
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to captives
And freedom to prisoners;
To proclaim the favorable year of the LORD”
Isaiah 61:1-2
Is not the Spirit of the Lord within me so that I might bring good news to the afflicted, to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and set the prisoner free? To proclaim to them that today is the day of salvation, that now is the favorable year of the Lord? Was this not what I was called to do as bond-servant of my Most High God? Oh, let the redeemed of the Lord say so!
Epic fail.
Ultimate failure.
So I return from New Orleans with a heavy heart and the ghost of a small voice that says, “Can you help me get some shoes?” I walk into the comfort of my home and the love of my family and the plenty that I have and am so very didisappointed in my lack of compassion and the fact that I let fear of danger control me and the fact that I know I did not shod my feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace. I had not prepared my heart and mind to here this type of unction from my Lord because I left my room already planning not to make eye contact or address anyone.
May I never fail in this way again.
May I never leave my house unprepared to share the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ again.
May God send someone to this woman to fix my failure, may she hear the good news from a truer bond-servant than I. May she know the freedom that Christ suffered to give her. May her feet be shod with the gospel of peace…
for mine certainly were not.