Do You Love Yourself

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In our Sunday school class at Central Baptist Church we are working through a book by Robertson McQuilkin called The Great Omission: A Biblical Basis for World Evangelism. In this book Robertson McQuilkin talks about the three main motives behind what most of us do… Those motives being the love of self, the love of others, and the love of God.

As I sat and listened in our class, our teacher asked if having love for self was wrong, I had to answer, no. As he asked this question two things popped into my mind, one being a Scripture verse (and I had to include a few cross-references of this verse) and the other being a conversation I had just had with my husband the day before.

The Scripture verse…

You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the Lord.

Leviticus 19:18

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“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’38 This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.”

Matthew 22:36-40

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For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Galatians 5:14

 

Think about it, if we do not love ourself, then how does that translate into our ability to love others? If we do not love ourself then how does that affect our ability to come to the mercy of God?

This leads me back to the conversation that I had with my husband. I rarely watch the news… especially sports news. As I was passing through the living room I overheard a sports caster say something about the Ohio State football team having gone through some major struggles. I asked my husband what struggles, and he shared with me that one of the Ohio State players committed suicide. What upset my husband so much was that this young man climbed into a dumpster and shot himself.

To my husband it appeared that this young man was convinced that he was nothing more than trash. Would it have made the least bit of difference had this young man felt some, even just a smidge, of love for himself?

Is it not the fact that we have at least a bit of self love that leads us to want to be saved from the wrath of God and the fires of hell? If we don’t see the least bit of value in our lives, then why would even consider that God would find us valuable? If we do not have even the smallest amount of love for ourselves then what value are we going to put on the lives of others?

One of my most favorite things about sharing the gospel with people who have never really “done church”, who have never really heard the gospel, who are currently weighed down with the consequences of either their own wrong choices or the wrong choices of others is to share with them Psalm 139…

For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.

Psalm 139:13-16

There is something amazing and transforming that comes with the realization that the Creator of the universe places value on your life… so much value that He left the glory of heaven to take on flesh, live among us, and die for us. He came to bring hope to the hopeless, help to the helpless, and love to the loveless. We are no more like Him than when we choose to love the deemed unlovable.

However, loving ourselves is not enough. If we only love our selves we will not bow our knee to the authority of Christ or choose to sacrifice ourselves for the cause of another. We will even use this self love to justify the destruction of others in order to advance our own lives.

Yet, once again, if the command of God is to love our neighbor as ourself. How can we be obedient to that if we do not love ourself? We also cannot love if we do not have the love of God within us, because God is love … we might call what we are doing or feeling “love”, but it’s most likely really just another way to meet our own selfish needs and desires.

In his book, The Great Omission, McQuilkin writes, 

The Father’s controlling motive in sending His Son to provide for humankind’s salvation was His love for the helpless and hopeless. John tells us that if we have been truly born of God and know God, we will love in the same way (1 John 4:7). In fact, “whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” (v.8).

God’s kind of love is proved by the sacrifice it makes. Our love is proved the same way (v. 11).

In the conflict of loves, we choose to save our lives, not lose them. But in saving, we lose.

He (God) loved us, of all people, when we were not only unworthy, but in fact, were fully worthy of the very opposite, His wrath. God’s kind of love depends not on the lovability of the object, but on the loving character of the one who loves.

It is in the reflection of the love of God that we are able to learn what it really means to love ourselves and to love others. Apart from His love our love is merely an idea made up of our own definitions and imaginations and expectations. This love will fail us and it will fail others. But God’s love, it never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8).

I love the next two verses to follow our quoted passage in Psalm 139…

How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.
When I awake, I am still with You.

Psalm 139:17-18

When God’s thoughts become precious to us, then we begin to see ourselves the way He sees us… it’s just like that child that sits quietly at a closed door while they hear their parents, who do not know they are listening, talk about how precious they are too them… even if they say it to them face to face… it means so much more to know they say these things even when they are not around, and especially after a time of failure that leads to needed discipline.

Beloved do you know that you are not trash? Do you know that you are loved by the One that names every star in the sky and numbers every hair on your head? Are you able to receive this truth? Are you able to lift up your head just enough to love yourself enough to come to the mercy of God… believing that He wants to call you His own?

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