What are some of the cliches you have heard that are supposed to encourage you or at least shame you into saving yourself for the honeymoon?
“Why buy the cow when you are getting the milk for free?”
“If you want it, you better put a ring on it”
(As I repost this, I am reminded of a recent car commercial)
(It’s cute, but there it is in 2014… that- you can’t touch this, that- keep your hands to yourself, that- no hugging, no kissing til I get a wedding band)
We’ve all heard so many trite cliches through the years. “It’s a gift you can only unwrap once” and “You can become a recycled virgin” come to mind. Something in me just doesn’t like the idea of comparing virginity to a milk carton. But all these repeated messages about “protecting God’s gift of sex” still leave many wondering why? Why does God want it protected?
~ Dannah Gresh
Yeh, but why, what’s the big deal really?
In the back of your head you hear the cliche and then you look over there and they are having sex, and they are having sex, and well they are having sex… and lightning has not struck and God has not struck them with a disease and they seem perfectly content and carefree with it all. They are even excited that they just found out they are pregnant and they are not even married, but everybody is hugging her and is excited for her???
And your daughters and sons are wondering the very same thing?
Why should you, why should they, wait when it looks like absolutely no one else around is? If you are single again after a marriage… does it even matter?
Yes it does… and this is why:
Yes, that’s right yada.
Adam lay with his wife Eve,
and she became pregnant
Okay… so yeh, as Dannah said he was so not just layin’ there!
The word lay in the Hebrew is “yada.“
This is the Hebrew word for sex. It means “to know, to be known, to be deeply respected.” This is what God thinks about sex. It is designed to be something that causes us to be deeply known by another. It doesn’t have anything to do with the actual physical act of sex, it centered on the deep emotional connection and quenching that we yearn for…
Ladies think about it… is it really the physical touch you crave… or is it really a deep emotional caress that you are crying out for?
What really drives you over the edge and makes your head spin and your heart pound?
Is it when he touches you…
or is it when he took the time to study you and to really get to know you…
when he knew what color your eyes where, your favorite color, was it not when he remembered something you said?
Or when he was able to buy you that gift that you had never even mentioned wanting out loud… he just knew you would want it… because he had taken the time and the effort to know you… just you?
Married ladies… when does your husband look at you in amazement?
Is it really when you strut out and blow him away with your sex kitten prowl… or is it when he knows that you know him, really know him, yet still deeply respect him and you show that deep respect in your willing submission to his leading of your family? Is it not when you show sincere interest and real respect for his work and the efforts he makes to provide for your family?
Based on the world’s view of sex knowing and respecting each other has nothing to do with sex… it’s just physical… but an emotional knowing and deep respect are essential ingredients to an intimate, lifelong connection. Mingle the two- an emotional knowing and a deep respect- and you have yada.
The word yada is used more than 900 times in the Old Testament.
Dannah shares a story in her book about a guy names Wes and girl named Stephanie… let me share it with you.
Trust me this one is a tear jerker!
Wes first saw Stephanie at a Pure Freedom for teens. Wes said he loved her the moment he saw her. When he approached Stephanie to ask her out on a date she informed him that after a very bad relationship in 9th grade, her heart had been wooed by Jesus, and she was only dating Him through out the rest of high school… which was three more years.
Three years. No guys. Just God.
Well Wes went and had a little talk with God about this. You see Wes loved Jesus too. When Wes went and talked to Jesus about how he felt about Stephanie and God let Wes know that He was courting Stephanie, and Wes needed to back off and give Him His courting time with Stephanie.
But for the next three years Wes never stopped loving Stephanie. He stayed friends with her, would touch base every now and then. During this time he was asked out by other girls… but he said no… He was waiting on Stephanie, even though she had no clue that he was.
On May 24, 2008 Wes saw Stephanie again… she was about to graduate high school.
Then on June 1, 2008 after Stephanie had graduated high school Wes came to see Stephanie. And that’s when he brought them out… the gifts.
One for each Christmas that he’d loved her.
One for each birthday that he’d loved her.
And a journal that expressed his emotional pursuit of her… three years of giving her over to God and giving himself over to God as he waited for God to give him permission to show his love to Stephanie.
YES THIS IS A TRUE STORY!
For from days of old they have not heard or perceived by ear,
Nor has the eye seen a God besides You,
Who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him.
but just as it is written,
“ THINGS WHICH EYE HAS NOT SEEN AND EAR HAS NOT HEARD,
AND which HAVE NOT ENTERED THE HEART OF MAN,
ALL THAT GOD HAS PREPARED FOR THOSE WHO LOVE HIM.”
1 Corinthians 2:9
This is why sex is worth waiting for… it’s for YADA.
Let’s dump the cliches, let’s dump the lies, and let us walk in Truth.
Your challenge today:
if you are married, are you still getting to know your spouse? Ladies, how is your respect toward your husband? Does he know that you respect him? Do you respect him? Is yada a part of your marriage? Maybe you need to make the first move in getting to know your husband all over again…
if you are single… wait on Him. Are you willing to give the object of your heart over to God? Are you willing to date Jesus only, to let the Creator of the universe court you and then bring “the one” to you? Are you willing to say no to relationships that you know are not God’s will for you in order to wait for yada?
I am not promising you that if you wait then every marriage will be a Wes and Stephanie experience, but I can promise you that if you wait, if you choose to do things God’s way, wherever you’re at right now… if you choose to submit and surrender your heart to Christ and trust HIM and show that trust by walking in obedience to what HE tells you… then you will experience the love and grace and mercy of the God who is LOVE, who does KNOW you, and yet LOVES you with a love that you cannot even wrap your human mind around. Then you can be a part of HIS great love story and there is no lack of the possibility of what He can do in your marriage… in your singleness… in your life.