2014 the Year of Hurt

confessions

Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:13-14

2014 was filled with MANY hurts for our family. MANY moments of confusion. MANY moments of asking why. MANY moments of feeling abandoned. MANY moments of wondering how so few really asked for answers.

I often wonder how God is going to strip us of our flesh, this part of us that struggles with sin and our own ability to forget and to forgive, and yet maintain our individuality and personality within the glory of His kingdom and us all somehow live together in unity. We are supposed to be in unity here. We are supposed to be on the same team here.

I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me.

John 17:23

Yet so often in our western Christianity it seems to be more of a competition than a common confession. 

Last year at this time I wrote, So for 2014… my goal is to slow down and be more here, just here. That happened. I slowed down. We purposely planned family fun days. We chose to just stay home. We slept in. We were reminded how important each day is…

2014 brought some of the biggest changes in our lives. With three loved ones receiving cancer diagnoses this year… on top of one loved already approaching her third year of chemo… with that being on the heals of saying goodbye to a dear childhood friend who received her full healing in glory leaving behind two young children, a husband, parents, sister, and brother, nieces and nephews…  two of my best friends losing their mothers… my own health still has the doctors stumped… it has been sucker punches to the gut and to the nose, one two blows all year.

My husband and I both made “job” changes. He accepting a promotion to a supervisor position and me stepping out of a directors position at our home church and then being asked to serve in a different yet similar ministry at another church.

Then changing churches altogether.

The church change was scary. Very. Scary. Scary because of the step of faith it involved. The fear that is was the wrong choice. The concern of what would happen… the questions that would come (or the fact that they didn’t come, at least not to us). I wondered if our walk with Christ just entailed our relationships right there, was that place our family lifeline or was Christ? Were we really serving the Lord or just serving people? Would we loose our heart for the Lord in our turning from our hurt that was wrapped up in this place? Would we all become pew sitters who eventually become sporadic attenders who would end up not attending at all? Would our kids slip into the crowd and would the new faces overwhelm them? Would we be succumbing to a deceptive divisive attack of the Enemy or was this just another way of God using circumstances to scatter His people where He willed them to be?

The answer… our kids would thrive… and we would all still love the Lord and serve Him and His church… and if the Enemy intended this for evil… God most certainly is meaning it for good.

It has taken us all the way to the end of this year for us to begin to see that the pieces are coming together. The move hurt, but it was right. As I listened to Billy Graham’s daughter share a little inside info on her family I was reminded of something I had already learned before, that sometimes God allows certain people, places, and positions in our life, not because that’s your forever “calling” but because it’s simply preparation for the next thing.

So 2015… here’s to the next thing.

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