>I opened up the mail the other day and I read “Are the stressful events in your life drawing you closer to God?” This was the heading in some mail from Marriage Today with Jimmy and Karen Evans.
I almost laughed out loud.
Hmmmm, do the stressful events in my life draw me closer to God?
Well I suppose if you count me filling up my journal pages with all the the things that I think are wrong with my life and with just life in general and asking God when or if He’s going to do something about it as drawing closer to Him… I would say yes.
However, somehow, I don’t think that what was what the question meant.
As I read further Jimmy Evans went on in the letter to say, “When you’re under stress, the enemy can tempt you to doubt God’s goodness or His motives. Many people think it’s wrong to doubt and are hard on themselves for having doubts about their marriage. Doubt is something God wants to use for your benefit, not make you feel guilty about. He wants to strengthen your faith and show you just how trustworthy He is.”
As I continued skimming through this intriguing piece of mail I read, “Doubt isn’t sin until it causes you to disobey God in unbelief. Doubt and unbelief are not the same thing. Unbelief is what happens in your heart when you don’t bring your doubts before Jesus.
Doubt says, ‘I don’t know if I can do this. It’s so hard to trust God.’
Unbelief says, ‘I won’t do this! There’s no way God can help me.’“
I continued skimming through this mail and then laid it down where I could come back to it… I knew I would need to.
It’s been a stressful time. Life has been hard. My family has been through a lot, not in just the past few days, but the past few years. I know that most likely your family has faced it’s own struggles as well. In these days of struggles. These wilderness years, I have had many moments of doubt, many moments of confusion, many moments of weak flesh, many moments of frustration… but my Redeemer has always seen me through.
I was reminded once again as I listened to the Precept video on Isaiah 53 that I am to count all suffering as all joy. Enduring whatever suffering I am going through for the joy and the hope that is set before me. I was reminded that if I am suffering it is because God is at work in me.
I was reminded that Jesus was not a victim. He willingly subjected Himself to suffering so that God would be glorified, so that I would be saved, so that you would be saved.
I had to ask myself- “How often do I take on the victim role when suffering comes my way?” I have to admit that when suffering hits I seem to immediately respond as the victim, not the suffering servant that I am called to be in Christ.
May it be drawstring stress.
Drawing me closer to Your waist where I can lean into the strength of Your arms and rest in Your embrace. My Jesus, You endured so much suffering for my sake.
You went to the cross so that I could be a person of Your own possession.
You created me in You to be a woman for Your renown, for Your praise, and for Your glory.
How can I glory You in the depths of self-pity?
I can’t.
You deserve more than that.
You are worthy of more than that.
I believe my ears are open. I am listening. I am learning. I cannot promise that I will never again feel doubt. I cannot promise that I have finally got it, but at this moment in time, my sweet sweet Savior, I get it and I bow down before You in reverence and awe as I rest in Your faithfulness.
>I struggle with this too, this doubt that says "I want to believe! Help my unbelief!"… More and more I am realizing that the "stress" is what it takes to keep me clinging to Him, even in my doubt, and I am compelled to say thanks for it all. "Thanksgiving always precedes the miracle" (Ann Voskamp) Love your willingness to lay it all out there, your passion is always inspiring.
>I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart and will enter His courts with praise… 🙂 May we cling to Him with both hands like Jacob and cry "I will not let you go until you bless me" And may that blessing be more of Him…