The last several years my family has learned some hard lessons. One is that before you express your opinion on a matter it is best to learn the whole story from the mouths of those actually involved. Before you accuse someone of doing wrong it is probably best to actually know what really happened. Simply accepting one persons perspective of the event is not wise. Even Jesus gave us His three years of ministry from four different perspectives. It takes gathering the information from all four to gain the best understanding  of His teachings while here in the flesh.

We seem to have a tendency to receive information, process it through our own experiences, and come to a firm conclusion that we are willing to take to the mattresses with no other considerations as an option. In doing so we hurt friendships. We might even ruin them, simply because we accepted our first hearing of the matter as the truth instead of a reason to simply search for the truth. We come to the defense of the perceived victim before we take the time to discover that perhaps the perceived victim is actually the one who is causing the most pain. My husband has a saying, “There are always two sides to a story and the truth is usually somewhere in between the two.”

I have been burned because I was only listening to one side of a story and I have also been deeply wounded by others who chose to only listen to one side of a story. We live in a day where the availability and opportunity for communication is limitless yet our ability to actually communicate seems to be worse than it has ever been. I believe it is mainly because we have quit listening. We speak, but we refuse to hear. We throw our two cents in on the lives of people we have never even met, much less walked a day in their shoes.

I’ll be the first to admit that in the privacy of my own home my husband and I will try to hash out what we are hearing and seeing and what our initial responses are at the information we currently have, but we have learned that there is ALWAYS more to the story. We know this because we both are the type that are not afraid to send a private message, make a private phone call, or plan a private meeting to find out what is really going on. If we do not know them well enough to do this, then no matter what it is, it is NOT OUR BUSINESS to publicly share our two cents.

In 1 Samuel 1:1-18 we learn of a man named Elkanah who had two wives. One was named Peninnah and the other Hannah. Peninnah had given Elkanah children, but Hannah remained childless.

Hannah lived every day of her life being ridiculed and mocked by Peninnah along with the internal struggle of inadequacy and most likely fear that she was not loved by God, with her barrenness as her confirmation that her fear was true.  In 1 Samuel 1:10 she goes to the temple of the Lord and there she is weeping and pouring her heart out before HIm. There we meet Eli, the current priest and judge of Israel, who sees her and from his perspective she looks like a crazy drunk woman.

Eli sees her and approaches her accusing her of being that crazy drunk woman.  She quickly addresses him to let him know that she is not a crazy drunk woman. She is broken, and oppressed, and is pouring her heart out to the only One who can help her. When Eli recognizes his initial perspective was way off he blesses Hannah and sends her on her way. When she leaves the scripture reads…

“and her face was no longer sad.”

1 Samuel 1:18

What if Eli had accepted his initial perspective as fact and shunned Hannah? What if he would of had her thrown out without finding out her side of the story? Do you think she would have left with a face that was no longer sad? Or would she have received that as even more confirmation that God did not love her and did not even want her in His house?

To Eli’s credit, even with the wrong perspective, at least he approached HER, and he was willing to LISTEN to her. By doing so he gave her the opportunity to change his initial reaction. Then he chose to believe her. Thus she left that day, affirmed in God’s love instead of confirmed in her fear that He loved her not.

Oh church when the world chooses to jump on the first perspective and react as fact to the initial information, let us be willing to step back and pause before we respond. Let us instead choose to practice wisdom…

The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.

Proverbs 18:17