But God, You Gave A Snake

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The definition of righteousness in the book of Matthew within the context of the Sermon on the Mount is the Greek word dikaiosuné and it means to have the approval of God, deemed right after being examined, it is demanded by God, it is correctness in thinking, feeling, and acting. That my friends is a pretty tall order. As I read this definition of righteousness I was hit with the correctness in thinking and feeling…

I am leading a Precept Upon Precept study on the Sermon on the Mount so I have been reading through Matthew 5 – 7 over and over the past several weeks. I am coming at the study seeking the kingdom of my God and His righteousness and I am coming as one who is mourning and needed to be comforted. My thinking and feeling is not all that correct right now and the enemy of my soul knows very well that I am vulnerable. That slimy serpent is even using the Word of my God as weapon against me.

As I read though the Words of my Savior in Matthew 7, I found myself questioning my God.

Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he?

Matthew 7:9-10

I read these words and my heart said, But God You gave me a snake. Then His Spirit said to me, That’s not true to My Word.

You see my struggle is not so much that my Daddy went home to be with his Lord. My struggle is how he went home. He went home in what feels like chaos or in a whirlwind. With Phillis we had time to prepare. We had time to tell her things. It doesn’t make missing her easier or less, but I don’t have the nightmares with her that I do with my Daddy. I don’t wake up crying in the middle of the night because we didn’t get to tell my Daddy what the doctor said and I didn’t get my last Monday. With daddy we had JUST been given permission to let go and stop fighting and prepare to say good-bye. We had JUST been given the peace to talk about the step into eternity instead of the next step in the battle for life.

Monday was my day with my Daddy. I was supposed to have Monday. Just me and him. The Lord took him home on Saturday. So it feels like I asked for a fish and my God gave me a snake.

I don’t think I have ever felt the fangs of the serpent digging into my heart and my mind as painfully as I have these past several months. I have lost count of the Scriptures that he has spit at me and said, See I told you He was the liar. You have believed in vain and you cannot trust Him. There is nothing and you are nothing. 

Then I hear him mock me, What? This has shook you? There are people being sawed in half and watching their children being raped and beaten just because they follow Jesus and you are questioning Him over this? Really? You are quite pathetic aren’t you. You know you are going to stand before Him ashamed don’t you?

His hissing is like a fly that keeps buzzing around my head and trying to land on my food. The kind that is so persistent that you cannot even eat the food because you can’t stop shooing the fly away long enough to get a bite. Of course, that’s his goal. He wants to exhaust me with his hissing and buzzing so that I never actually get a taste of the Bread of Life that I have sat down to partake of so that I might find nourishment in my time of need.

Do you know what I mean?

Is this flying serpent buzzing around your head?

The lie is that He gave a snake. The truth is that He gave a fish. Walking by faith and not by sight is not always easy. It’s actually quite impossible apart from God. I am looking forward to the day that I see…

Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.

1 John 3:2

Walking by faith is trusting that God gave you a fish especially when it feels like He gave you a snake. Remembering that He loves His own with an everlasting love. Remembering that His character is one of compassion and lovingkindness. Remembering that He is just in all His ways. Remembering that His purpose is the glory of Christ and His Kingdom.

I can do this because I know that even Jesus felt forsaken. The Only Begotten of the Father experienced doubt in His hurt and groanings in this world. Even He cried out to God in prayer and felt as though His prayers hit the ceiling.

My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?
Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning.
O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer;
And by night, but I have no rest.
Yet You are holy,
O You who are enthroned upon the praises of Israel.
In You our fathers trusted;
They trusted and You delivered them.
To You they cried out and were delivered;
In You they trusted and were not disappointed.

Psalm 22:1-5

I often read this Psalm and find myself unworthy to apply any of it to my suffering. Jesus quoted these words when on the cross dying for me. I almost feel ashamed to claim them as my own… yet I suppose in claiming them I am lifting up my cross as His.

Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.”

Matthew 16:24

So as I dig into this Sermon on the Mount I am seeking my Lord and asking Him to work on my heart. I am hungry and thirsty for His righteousness and I am weary from shooing this flying serpent away from my face and plate. I need the wind of His Spirit to blow him away so that I can rest and eat. Remembering that He is holy.

I might feel He is silent. I might be weary. Yet He is holy. And those who trust in Him are never disappointed.

So here is my heart Lord. Speak what is true.