Daily Archives: January 27, 2012

Devotional Studies Through the Bible, Uncategorized

>Not Who I Was

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But Moses said before the LORD,
‘Behold, I am unskilled in speech;
how then will Pharaoh listen to me?  
Exodus 6:30
Moses has already made the complaint out to God that he was “slow of speech” (Exodus 4:10), and now he cries to God that he is “unskilled in speech.” The word unskilled in the original Hebrew text is arel which means exposed or uncircumcised. Moses is actually saying “Behold, I am uncircumcised of lips;…”
This is essentially the same cry that the Prophet Isaiah made in Isaiah 6:5 when he said “Woe is me, for I am ruined! Because I am a man of unclean lips…” Moses is not crying out to God in doubt of his ability, he is crying out to God in realization of his unworthiness to be God’s messenger.
Moses is looking at himself. He is looking at the children of Israel. He is looking at Pharaoh and he is crying out to God. I can hear Moses saying “God, they know me. They have seen all that I have done. They know I murdered a man. They know all the sins of my youth. They have seen all the mistakes I have made and God I know all the mistakes I am still making. I am uncircumcised of lips. I am a man of unclean lips. God I have said things I should not have said. I have wounded with my words as well as my hands. The children of Israel will not listen to me why would Pharaoh. He knows even more about me than they do. He shall call me a hypocrite, a traitor. I am a fool in his eyes. God, he will not listen to me.”
Oh precious one, have you been there?
Moses is so real with God. He is so obviously just a man like you and I. He is not a superhuman. He is a man who was living a life apart from God but now has been brought near to God to accomplish a mighty mission for the kingdom of heaven. Part of that mission is to return to where he came and show them that he is not who he once was.
He now looks different, walks different, and talks different. Moses may look at himself and see a man of no worth, but once again God does not even acknowledge his cry of insecurity. God simply reminds him of his mission.
We can not allow who we were to hinder who we are now called to be. It doesn’t matter who we were. “Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.” (1 Corinthians 6:11)
Yes, you may have to prove yourself, but if your salvation is real, the proof will be made evident. Even Paul had to prove himself. We read in Acts 9:26 that “When he came to Jerusalem, he was trying to associate with the disciples; but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he was a disciple.” Our past goes with us, but it does not control us, nor does it define us when we are new creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17).
Moses would go and be obedient to God. He would not have to worry about whether Pharaoh would listen to him. Pharaoh’s response was between Pharaoh and God. We too must go and be obedient to God. He has a mission for us just as he did for Moses. A mighty mission to accomplish for the kingdom of heaven, for the glory of our God.
My friend, do not allow what lies behind you to slow you down or cause you to shrink back from what your God has commanded you to do. Forget what lies behind and press forward to what lies ahead. Remembering always who you are in Him.
Has the burning coal from the altar of our God touched your lips and taken your iniquity away? Have your sins been forgiven (Isaiah 6:6-7)? If so, precious one, then speak. Speak all that the Lord has commanded you to speak. Speak with authority and love and confidence and leave the results up to God.
Oh Father,
I look at who I once was and all that I have done and the enemy can so easily convince me that I have no right to speak on Your behalf. The truth, however, is that it gives me every right. I am a living testimony to Your Word. I am living proof that You are God. Comparing who I was to who I am now only strengthens my testimony and greater displays Your grace. Yes I may have to prove myself to some, but that is okay with me. Father I just pray that You would set a guard over my mouth and keep watch over the door of my lips (Psalm 141:3) so that my relationship with You would be made evident and obvious to all.
My Jesus, it’s in Your name I pray,

Amen

Confessions of a Christian Wife, Proven Path Ministries, Uncategorized

>Ministry and Motherhood are Messy

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>This is a post a wrote in 2010… but it remains a prayer and point of focus as I walk in 2012…

I began 2010 reading through the Proverbs. My prayer for 2010 was “Lord increase me in wisdom, Your wisdom.” Little did I know how much I would need these proverbs as 2010 came rolling in. I thank my God for His Word.

As I studied I came to a particular proverb and out in the margin beside this proverb I have noted “serving the Lord and kids in the house” with a smiley face underneath my little note.

“Where no oxen are, the manger is clean,

but much revenue comes by the strength of the ox.”
Proverbs 14:4

I am by birth, by nature, by DNA, a clean freak and a perfectionist. It was once said that you could eat off of my floors. I would have your cup cleaned and in the cabinet before you even finished setting it down from your last swallow.
Then came a baby…then came salvation in Christ…then came another baby…!
Needless to say things changed.
I realized I could have a perfectly clean house or I could have a life that imparted life to others. God says to choose life, so I chose life.

Our homes, our church, our ministries all relate to this verse.
Will we sacrifice a clean manger for the revenue of life…eternal life?

One thing I learned was that I could dust everyday and still when I got up the next morning the dust was back again. I could wash clothes all day and still the hamper would fill up again. I could mop and make my floors shine everyday, but still someone would walk on them and leave their prints behind.

Then I looked at my children and no matter what I did I couldn’t make them infants again, I couldn’t make the sunshine come back out so I could take them to the park now that the house was clean. I won’t be able to make them little leagers again so that I can coach and teach them. I can’t make those adoring, innocent eyes, so filled with love and trust, turn back to me after I have repeatedly told them I don’t have the time for them.
Trust me I’m still learning to place my priorities, but I am getting better.
Does the house ever get clean?
Yes it does. But it is now in the balance.

In our churches…if we want a church that is full of life…guess what…kool-aid gets spilled on the carpet…the gym floor gets dirty…the paint on the wall gets nicked…but each spill, each nick, each mark was made from a life that was there and heard the message of Jesus Christ?

Isn’t it worth it?

In our ministries…ministry is messy! We make our plans, but they don’t always go according to schedule. People don’t always respond the way we think they should. If we didn’t minister to people then we could have a clean, well-organized manger…but what revenue would we have to show for our ministry?

So Mom’s don’t stress over the house. I mean keep the roaches away and make sure there’s nothing growing on the dishes stuck under the bed and try to keep clean underwear for everyone…but I promise you the dust will be back in the morning!

Church instead of frowning at the nicks, stains, and dirt…pray salvation and the grace of God over the one who made the mark and pray that God will fill your walls with more souls to make more stains!

The ministry…it’s messy.

But God is in control, remember it’s all about HIM.
Confessions of a Christian Wife, Poetry, Proven Path Ministries, Uncategorized

There Is Hope

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As Walter Brueggemann put it, “This family (and with it the whole family of Genesis 1–11) has played out its future and has nowhere else to go. Barrenness is the way of human history. It is an effective metaphor for hopelessness. There is no foreseeable future. There is no human power to invent a future.”

Then, the story turns with these simple words: “The Lord . . . said . . .” (Gen 12:1). God spoke into the barrenness and chaos. It was as if He said, You’ve done your best, and this is where it has gotten you—now step aside.

Still early in the Genesis story, these words remind us of another time God spoke into darkness and chaos. Before God began to create, the “earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters.” Into nothing, “God said . . . ” God spoke and light erupted, vegetation blossomed, humans appeared. This is still what happens whenever God speaks.

—Winn Collier

You know… I don’t know where you are today. I don’t know the barrenness of your heart or the possible chaos of your soul. I don’t know if you are in a place where it seems that life is crumbling down all around you and you feel as though you are standing alone in the midst of all the broken pieces… but I do know that our Creator God can speak life and order and healing into whatever you are going through. I do know that He has not forsaken you, I do know that you are not alone… no matter how alone you feel.

Open up His Word and hear Him speak.

Stop trying to do it all on your own… you were never meant to.

God is there and I guarantee you that there is someone whose name is on your mind right now that you know would be there for you if they just knew what was going on. You may not have ever really spent a lot of time together. You may not have ever even talked to them. You may not know them at all, but have just seen them interact with others… but their name, their face, is before you now for a reason as you stand among the broken pieces.

Don’t let pride or fear of rejection or condemnation keep you from seeking help. Don’t keep hiding in the dark because our Creator said, let there be light!

A Night of Hope
So far away, so full of doubt
So lost inside, there’s no way out
Within this prison I scream, I shout
But no one hears, no eyes look about
Can no one see me
Is everyone blind
My fear overwhelms me
I’m falling this time

I smile I do, I play the game
I try to be different, but nothing does change
I hate this I do, don’t like how I feel
I want to be happy, I want to be sure
I want to be confident and secure
They tell me this, they tell me that
Follow ABC and all will be well with me

I’ve walked the line
I’ve jumped the hoops
But this time the tight rope is just to loose
My feet are slipping my knees to weak
My mind is reeling, into the darkness I sink
The darkness is safe, in it I hide
No one can see the thoughts of my mind
I hear the whispers, this voice so sleek
It tells me go on, in the darkness there’s peace

But another voice I hear, it’s distant and sweet
It whispers I love you, listen to me
It says in the darkness there is only dark
It says come to the Light, give me your heart
It says I see you, and hear you too
I know your thoughts and hear your screams
Come be still and know that it’s Me
Know that I came to give you a hope
Know that I’m here, My love have I shown
Come this night and know that I’m here
Come this night know to Me you are dear

While in your tears lift up your eyes
Take them off the dark and put them on the Light
Keep them focused looking right at Me
Know that I AM is right here, you’ll see
Trust in Me and in My love
Feel My arms around you embraced in a hug
Take a deep breath, breathe in My scent
Know for you My flesh was rent
I died for you that you might live
So lift up your head, for this hope to you I give

I wrote this May 7, 2009… in Him, in His Light, there is hope no matter how great the darkness, no matter how loud the chaos, no matter how barren the heart… in Him there is always Life no matter how deadened you may feel.