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Yearly Archives: 2011
>Leave to Cleave
>When Mother continued to counsel us against our plans, James faced the issue head-on. One night when he was over for super, he said to my mother, very politely and respectfully, “Ma’am, I cannot let you be in charge of this relationship. You will not be in charge of our wedding or our marriage. This is what we want to do, and if we have to do it totally on our own, we will. And if there’s no ceremony, it doesn’t matter.
~ Betty Robison from Living in Love
Oh I read this and I just wanted to cheer James and Betty on.
You go James! Thank you for being a man and stepping up and speaking for your family. And Betty way to stand by your man and let him lead.
I have seen almost marriages that should have been marriages crumble before they even had a chance to begin because Momma was not willing to let her baby be an adult… and now most of those are currently living in sexual sin and broken homes anyway… because the Momma used the excuse of fear of failure before the marriage even had a chance to begin and attempt success…
However, I suppose the real issue is the boy who was not willing to become a man and chose to let Momma be boss.
We are currently in a generation that simply blows my mind and makes me shake my head in complete disbelief and frustration. A generation full of parents who counsel their children against marriage…
I mean the last time I checked it was God who said
So moms and dads… offer wise counsel, but offer it according to the Word of God. Be willing to cut the apron strings. Be willing to let your children be adults.
I had a dear friend tell me a story about how her youngest child was very sick when he was baby and she was concerned that now he was not walking as she believed he should be by the age he was at this time. She expressed her concern to her child’s pediatrician at the child’s check-up and the doctor lovingly told her, “if you want your son to learn to walk you have to put him down.”
For our children to learn to walk we have to put them down and be willing to let them fall…
And children, young men and women, be adults. Men be the head of your home and leader of your family and let your wife or future wife know that you are capable of standing strong. And woman, let your man be a man, and confidently stand by him and show him that you trust him to lead your family.
And in closing, a word from Betty…
While firm, he was gracious, and we certainly didn’t want to sever our relationship with my parents, but the time had come to change the nature of that relationship. We wanted an open door to wise counsel, but we didn’t want the open door to include intrusive control… Every couple should seek to maintain a good relationship with their parents but not at the expense of their own marriage. We had to leave in order to cleave.
~ Betty Robison
>In Good Times and In Bad Times
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>Can I Get An Amen!
>One of the attendant aims of missional evangelicalism is to challenge the compartmentalizing of the Christian faith that we see within the Western church. We are fantastic at itemizing our schedules, and even if we don’t assign God a very large bracket, we are constantly remorseful that we “haven’t made much time for him.” While such compartmentalizing — as if “time with God” can or should be hermetically sealed off from everything else — is a natural symptom of our culture and environment, it also reflects a bad theology.
The truth is, the day does not belong to us. It is not our day to do with as we please. We serve a sovereign God. He created the end from the beginning, knows our future exhaustively, and is firmly in control. He made our days and they belong to him. As such, isn’t it a bit arrogant to begin with the idea that each day is ours and then worry about fitting God in? Instead, we should work at the humble awe of knowing all of our moments, every millisecond, waking or sleeping, are perfectly accounted for within the economy of heaven.
Let us stake the flag of Christ’s kingdom into the soil of our first waking moment. Drink your coffee when you get up, of course, but drink it to the glory of God. Then carry on in this way all day, no matter the task, be it menial or notable, so that each day may be a living prayer that God’s will will be done on earth as it is in heaven. This is what it means to live a gospel-saturated life: it means being so conscious of the greatness of the gospel that changing diapers or cutting the grass is as much an act of worship as singing a praise chorus in a church service….
Jesus Christ is Lord over my heart, and he is Lord over my hands, and he is Lord over what I do with these hands, and he is Lord over what I say in my heart while I’m doing it. In submitting to the lordship of Christ, then, I do not treat washing dishes as wasting time I could be spending doing something “meaningful,” but rather as a service to those who eat in my home, as a service to those who would have to wash the dishes if I did not, and as an offering of thanksgiving to God that I have food to eat, dishes to eat it on, and running water inside my home to clean with.
To paraphrase C. S. Lewis, there is not a square inch of our lives that is not claimed by God and counterclaimed by ourselves. If we believe God is sovereign, however, we will see all of life as mission and be led to submit the square inches we otherwise hold so tightly to the Maker of inches and hands.
~ Jared Wilson from Gospel Wakefulness
Oh wow, I love this!
How releasing, how liberating is it to hear these words?
Are you like me?
Do you struggle with guilt on whether or not you are doing enough for the glory of God?
Have you ever said, if I had have known Christ before I would have been on that mission field?
I wish I could be on a plane right now to that orphanage…
What could I be doing for You God if I had not the “responsibilities” I have in this world?
Or simply, I didn’t make enough time for You today God.
Oh my goodness to be reminded that God is not waiting to be “fit” into “our” schedule.
I never before thought about how arrogant that really sounded.
Just knowing that all that I do is for the glory of the gospel, or at least it should be, does two things:
1) Gives every area of life meaning and purpose for the glory of the gospel of God
2) Reminds us that every area of life should be lived in awareness that it has meaning and purpose for the glory of the gospel of God
God is in our everything… our every moment… our every day…
I know this, I really already do, but it is always wonderful and breathtaking to be reminded of this truth.
Hopefully one day I will fully “get it” 🙂
Names of God – El Elyon
Before we learn about this next name of God we have to do a little context review to get the whole powerful punch of the moment.
If you recall in Genesis 12 God called out to a man named Abram from Ur of the Chaldean’s. He didn’t explain who He was. He didn’t give any detailed message. He simply said something like, “you Abram, go now” and Abram said “okay“. I often wonder exactly how God appeared to Abram. I mean Moses got a burning bush… I guess I’ll have to ask for that first hand account when I see him in eternity 🙂
Okay back to Abram. So the Lord calls him out and sends him to a place that He will show him when he gets there. Now that’s our God for us, “here, go, and I am not going to tell you where, but if you will listen closely as you go, then you’ll get there… and you will learn lessons all the way… because I already know that you are not a very good listener… but you will learn to be as you go.”
Abram heads out, in slight obedience, which is full disobedience. God told him to leave his family, but he took them with him… yeh the not so good listening skills part. So there were things that needed to happen to help Abram get back on the right track and you can read all about it in Genesis 12 and Genesis 13.
Now by Genesis 14 God has Abram and Sarai separated from all the rest of their family. So now here is Abram following a God he does not know all that well and now all his family is gone. They might have thought he was crazy in following this God, but they at least loved him anyway, right. Now it’s just him and Sarai.
Then the word comes that his nephew has been taken captive and so Abram and his men and his God go to battle against five kings, yes that’s right five kings. Guess who wins? Yep, ding-ding-ding, Abram! The amazing thing in this chapter is who Abram gets the opportunity to meet after the battle is over.
Finally after all this time he gets to meet a man who not only follows the same God he has been following, but this man knows Him and can teach him about this God.
Hmmmm what a coincidence… 🙂
This man’s name is Melchizedek and he is king and priest of Salem and he introduces Abram to God as God Most High or El Elyon.
Abram learns this day that this God that has called him out and that he has been following is not just any god. He is not one of the many gods that Abram has heard about throughout his life and travels… this God is El Elyon, God Most High.
For I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is no one like Me,
Isaiah 46:9
He is the God of gods.
Possessor of heaven and earth;
Who has delivered your enemies into your hand.
We also learn right along with Abram that his victory over the enemies was not his, he did not accomplish this in his own strength and strategic planning. God Most High delivered them into his hands… as He will our enemies if He will just trust Him.
To know that God will deliver us from our enemies we have to recognize that we will have enemies. We will face enemies in our life. Difficult days and people and trials will come, but we must remember who the Possessor of each day is and trust that He is with us. Our difficulties are for a purpose, our battles will teach us more of who our God is if we will just face them and let Him fight for us.
That there is no one besides Me.
I am the LORD, and there is no other,
The One forming light and creating darkness,
Causing well-being and creating calamity;
I am the LORD who does all these.
>Leave A Legacy Not A Tragedy
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>Lifting Grace
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Esther exhibited a grace-filled charm and elegance. In this verse, the literal translation of the original language says, “She lifted up grace before his face.” Isn’t that a beautiful expression? Though she was brought to the harem and participated in these things reluctantly, Esther did not display a sour attitude. I’m convinced she sensed God’s hand in her situation. Why else would she have been there? ~ Swindoll
I would have to say that one of the most important lessons that God is teaching me in and through my marriage is how to give grace. Isn’t it a funny thing how we seem to be able to easily offer grace to the stranger on the street, to the hurting on the mission field, to the friend that’s lost as a goose, but we will find ourselves unwilling to give grace to our own spouse.
We place this expectation of perfection on them and this unspoken demand that they should be able to read our minds and know exactly what we need and want, when we need and want it, the way we need and want it. We expect them never to be angry or frustrated or make a mistake and they simply must just understand us perfectly.
My husband and I have finally learned in our 13 years of marriage that we filter things differently. We see things differently. We understand things differently. We interpret things differently. It took us a while to realize that we have a breakdown in communication between the female and male way of thinking and doing.
One of the most powerful illustrations of the realization I have for this breakdown happened not long ago.
You see I am not “Betty Crocker” at all. I can cook, but I do not love to cook. If I am given the slightest out on cooking I am taking it.
“Oh, your mother wants us to come out for dinner tonight, well great!” (I truly love my mother-in-laws cooking!)
“You’re still full from a late lunch? Okay, the girls and I will have a bowl of cereal.”
“You want to go eat where? That’s sounds like a plan to me.”
Like I said I can cook and usually my food is pretty tasty, but I am a klutz in the kitchen. I literally have kitchen wars battle scars all over my arms and hands from the past 13 years of cooking for my husband.
I always manage to make a mess. I will spill something, boil something over, knock something over, freakish things will happen to me in the kitchen when I am just tying to do the simplest thing.
Once I was in the middle of making out of the box mac & cheese and I go to shake down the pack of powdered cheese and in mid shake the package opens itself and me and my kitchen are now covered in powdered cheese. I found scattered powdered cheese for weeks.
Now on the opposite end my husband loves to cook and he is a wonderful cook. I mean he is in the “he could do this for a living if he wanted to” category of good. And while I am here in my kitchen klutz mode with battle scars and powdered cheese I felt that I could never meet his standard of cooking and that he was comparing me to all those women on the Food Network who are talking about feeding their men, oh you know, the Barefoot Contessa and her Jeffrey and Paula Dean and her Michael.
I mean I could never be them.
So this is where my cooking frustration is rooted.
Now back to the realization illustration… On one particular day I am cooking dinner and the usual freakish things and injuries are taking place as I attempt to prepare this meal. My husband is in the kitchen and I mouth off my usual “This is why I hate cooking!”
As I mouthed how I hated cooking, what my husband heard was “I hate taking care of you!”
Ouch!
Of course, me, knowing what I knew about myself, when he let me know this was what he heard, I grew indignant at his response. I thought how in the world can you even think such a thing! That’s ridiculous!
Major miscommunication.
Because in truth what I wanted was my husband to see how much I sacrifice in order to take care of him by the fact that I am willing to suffer the battle scars and the messes made by my kitchen klutzdom. But the words coming out of my mouth counter-acted my actions.
I displayed a sour attitude and I did not lift up grace to my husband. I was playing the martyr. I think that possibly I was even trying to manipulate him through guilt into saying something encouraging to me as I struggled there before the stove. I was sending signals and expecting to hear words of his great appreciation as he acknowledged my willing sacrifice to do this cooking thing I hated so much just because I loved him.
I certainly was not expecting that he would interpret my words as hating to take care of him and our family.
Major backfire.
So here is where grace comes in. My husband knows me very well. Most likely better than any other mortal on the earth besides my parents, but he cannot read my mind. I know my husband very well. Most likely more than any other mortal on the earth besides his parents, but I cannot read his mind.
Neither of us are perfect.
Neither of us can assume everything about the other.
Both of us are growing and changing as we grow in the knowledge of the Lord and in His wisdom.
Both of us have flesh that grows weary and frustrated and sick.
Both of us have needs and wants and particular ways we prefer to have things done.
We understand each other perty well, but not yet perfectly, but we are pressing on for maturity.
As we press on we must lift up grace. If we are to receive grace we must first be willing to give grace. The only way we are able to receive the grace of God is because God was first willing to give it to us. Grace is a gift. Ladies, if we have received grace from God we can give it to our husbands. Let us lavish grace and mercy on them the way that God has lavished His on us.
Names of God – Elohim
When we open to the first verse of the first chapter of the Bible the first thing God does is introduce Himself to us with one of His names.
Genesis 1:1-3
Oh precious one, how amazing is our Creator God! How can we ever doubt this God is so awesome that He can create and sustain galaxies and yet is so tender and able to draw so close to us that He knits life within our womb? He controls when and how and where the sun shines and a star falls and He also cares for the doe as she gives birth and makes sure a sparrow is fed and knows us so well that He has numbered every hair on our head. How easy it is to see why David cried out, wrote about, and sang about how he and we can find help in His name.
Who made heaven and earth.
>Son of My Right Hand
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Introduction To A Study of The Names of God
At our Homeschool Co-op we have a Chapel time during our snack time. We break bread (or popcorn) together while we study in the Word of God together. I have the privilege of leading this time.
As I considered this chapel time I had to recognize that we were a diverse group from different denominational backgrounds. I would also be teaching an age range from pre-school to adults. My dilemma was what did I need to focus on that would keep the attention span of a pre-schooler and yet also be edifying and encouraging for every age in the room including the adults, while not offending any one’s denominational doctrine.
As I was seeking God’s will for this chapel time and was asking Him what direction I needed to go in, He led me to Himself. He simply said… teach Me. So the chapel time is focused on learning the names of God.
We learn a new Hebrew name for God each week of co-op and we look at what that name means, where God teaches it to us, and how knowing it applies to our lives.
I introduced the study by sharing how I have had different names through out my life that have shared a part of who I am. My given name is Nicole Love Halbrooks. When I was growing up I got the name No-No from my cousin who is nine months younger than me because he could not say Nicole. My dad used to call me Sleufoot and my aunt called me Red.
When I got my drivers license I got the nickname Crash and Brick because I had several wrecks in a row, in one I totaled my parents brand new car by crashing through two brick columns, thus Crash and Brick. When my oldest niece was born I got the name Nay-Nay, and I am still Nay-Nay to all my nieces and nephews.
Then I met my husband and I became Nicole Love Halbrooks Vaughn. I became Wife and Stepmother to his beautiful daughter. Then I had my Shelby and Bekah and I became Momma. When I became a teacher, I became Mrs Nicole. These are just a few of the names that I have been given that have revealed a part of who I am.
In the same way God has revealed Himself to us in the names He has given us in Scripture. Each name shares a part of who He is and teaches us a little bit more of His character.
But we will boast in the name of the LORD, our God.
The righteous runs into it and is safe.
Who made heaven and earth.
