Train Up A Child Day 10

How important is the truth in your home?

Train Up A Child Day Ten

10.  Train them to a habit of always speaking the truth.
   
Truth-speaking is far less common in the world than at first sight we are disposed to think.  The whole truth, and nothing but the truth, is a golden rule which many would do well to bear in mind.  Lying and prevarication are old sins.  The devil was the father of them, — he deceived Eve by a bold lie, and ever since the fall it is a sin against which all the children of Eve have need to be on their guard.
   
Only think how much falsehood and deceit there is in the world! How much exaggeration! How many additions are made to a simple story! How many things left out, if it does not serve the speaker’s interest to tell them! How few there are about us of whom we can say, we put unhesitating trust in their word! Verily the ancient Persians were wise in their generation: it was a leading point with them in educating their children, that they should learn to speak the truth.  What an awful proof it is of man’s natural sinfulness, that it should be needful to name such a point at all!
   
Reader, I would have you remark how often God is spoken of in the Old Testament as the God of truth.  Truth seems to be especially set before us as a leading feature in the character of Him with whom we have to do.  He never swerves from the straight line.  He abhors lying and hypocrisy.  Try to keep this continually before your children’s minds.  Press upon them at all times, that less than the truth is a lie; that evasion, excuse-making, and exaggeration are all halfway houses towards what is false, and ought to be avoided.  Encourage them in any circumstances to be straightforward, and, whatever it may cost them, to speak the truth.
   
I press this subject on your attention, not merely for the sake of your children’s character in the world, — though I might dwell much on this, — I urge it rather for your own comfort and assistance in all your dealings with them.  You will find it a mighty help indeed, to be able always to trust their word.  It will go far to prevent that habit of concealment, which so unhappily prevails sometimes among children.  Openness and straightforwardness depend much upon a parent’s treatment of this matter in the days of our infancy.

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God is very clear on the importance of speaking truth. I would have to say that in all honesty this is probably the biggest struggle of all mankind. This is why it’s importance MUST be taught and practiced in our homes.
We can find all kind of reasons why we think we need to lie about something. We will lie to not hurt someone’s feelings, or to not get ourselves in trouble. We will lie because we simply fear speaking the truth.
We will lie to keep a business deal in place or to get a job or keep a job or too simply stretch the truth or omit information to make more money.
 What is desirable in a man is his kindness,
And it is better to be a poor man than a liar.
Proverbs 19:22
In all honesty I have had a lie come out of my mouth and immediately once it passes through my lips I think “where in the world did that come from and why on earth did I say that?” Usually this happens when I fear that I am going to make someone angry at me or someone is already angry with me and I do not want to make it worse…
I have learned that fear is the root of the lies that have always come out of my mouth… it might not be every one’s root, but it was/is mine.
As I am learning not to fear anyone more than I fear God speaking the truth at all times is becoming much easier and more my nature, because in Christ I received a new nature and I am being transformed more and more into the image of Christ.
As I have learned this about myself through the Holy Spirit and through the study of His Word I am also learning to ask my children the “why” behind their lies. I want them to look at their hearts, to examine themselves, to discover what thing in their flesh led them to speak the lie.
You are of your father the devil,
and you want to do the desires of your father.
He was a murderer from the beginning,
and does not stand in the truth
because there is no truth in him.
Whenever he speaks a lie,
 he speaks from his own nature,
for he is a liar
and the father of lies.
John 8:44
This passage of Scripture is a sobering truth. It was this passage of Scripture that I sat down and shared with my children the first time I caught them in a spoken lie. I believe they were both around the age of 2 yrs old. I sat down with them in my lap and I shared this with them in love and with kindness.
I explained to them that in the future lying to us will bring grave consequences. There are two things in our home that we dealt with using spanking as the discipline… blatant disobedience to something we knew they understood fully and lying. We explained to them how important it was that we could take them at their word and we also shared with them how once trust is lost… it is a long time regaining.
Another sobering passage…
But for the cowardly
and unbelieving
and abominable
and murderers
and immoral persons
and sorcerers
and idolaters
and all liars,
their part will be in the lake
that burns with fire
and brimstone,
which is the second death.”
Revelation 21:8

Only the truth shall last until all eternity…
If we want to share eternity with our children and with our Father we must be people of truth, for our God is the God of truth, our Jesus is the way and the truth and the light.


Train Up A Child Day 9

Jesus said quite plainly that if we love Him we will obey Him.

“If you love Me,
you will keep My commandments.
John 14:15
Here also is this flip side of this… because God so loved us and knew that true love obeys the one they love in faith He not only gave us written instructions on how to obey Him, He sent His own Son as example just to teach us how to obey in love.
Our job as parents is too teach our children how to obey in love and we are too teach them with love, just as Jesus taught us, we are also to teach them by example through our own obedience in love to our own parents, just as Jesus taught us…
Train Up A Child Day Nine

9.  Train them to a habit of obedience.
   
This is an object which it is worth any labour to attain.  No habit, I suspect, has such an influence over our lives as this. Parents, determine to make your children obey you, though it may cost you much trouble, and cost them many tears.  Let there be no questioning, and reasoning, and disputing, and delaying, and answering again.  When you give them a command, let them see plainly that you will have it done.
   
Obedience is the only reality.  It is faith visible, faith acting, and faith incarnate.  It is the test of real discipleship among the Lord’s people.  “Ye are My friends if ye do whatsoever I command you” (John 15:14).  It ought to be the mark of well- trained children, that they do whatsoever their parents command them.  Where, in deed, is the honour which the fifth commandment enjoins, if fathers and mothers are not obeyed cheerfully, willingly, and at once?
   
Early obedience has all Scripture on its side.  It is in Abraham’s praise, not merely he will train his family, but “he will command his children, and his household after him” (Gen. 18:19).  It is said of the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, that when “He was young He was subject to Mary and Joseph” (Luke 2:51).
   
Observe how implicitly Joseph obeyed the order of his father Jacob (Gen. 37:13).  See how Isaiah speaks of it as an evil thing, when “the child shall behave himself proudly against the ancient” (Isa. 3:5).  Mark how the Apostle Paul names disobedience to parents as one of the bad signs of the latter days (2 Tim. 3:2).  Mark how he singles out this grace of requiring obedience as one that should adorn a Christian minister: “a bishop must be one that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity.” And again, “Let the deacons rule their children and their own houses well ” (1 Tim. 3:4,12).  And again, an elder must be one “having faithful children, children not accused of riot, or unruly” (Tit. 1:6).
   
Parents, do you wish to see your children happy? Take care, then, that you train them to obey when they are spoken to, — to do as they are bid.  Believe me, we are not made for entire independence, — we are not fit for it.  Even Christ’s freemen have a yoke to wear, they “serve the Lord Christ” (Col. 3:24). 

Children cannot learn too soon that this is a world in which we are not all intended to rule, and that we are never in our right place until we know how to obey our betters.  Teach them to obey while young, or else they will be fretting against God all their lives long, and wear themselves out with the vain idea of being independent of His control.
   
Reader, this hint is only too much needed.  You will see many in this day who allow their children to choose and think for themselves long before they are able, and even make excuses for their disobedience, as if it were a thing not to be blamed.  To my eyes, a parent always yielding, and a child always having its own way, are a most painful sight; — painful, because I see God’s appointed order of things inverted and turned upside down; — painful, because I feel sure the consequence to that child’s character in the end will be self-will, pride, and self-conceit. You must not wonder that men refuse to obey their Father which is in heaven, if you allow them, when children, to disobey their father who is upon earth.
   
Parents, if you love your children, let obedience be a motto and a watchword continually before their eyes.

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Obedience is evidence of faith and love. We clearly see this from the example of our Savior. We must teach our children to obey us… and then we must expect it. Teaching them the importance of obeying us will teach them the importance of obeying God. And as we teach them to obey us we point them to God… our rules and expectations of our children should always line up with God’s Word. If we teach them to obey God, then obeying us is just part of it.

Tonight at our church was friends and family night for our fall drama, The Judgment Seat. My Shelby is serving in the nursery for our JS actors’ and volunteers’ children and my Bekah is running cards for registration. She was getting ready for a break and so we were about to walk out the door for me to take her to the childcare area. On the way out one of our volunteers was explaining to her that when she got the ice scoop to get ice out of the ice maker she needed to put it up on top, not leave it in the ice maker.
All my Bekah seemed to catch was “this goes on top”  
To which she replied, “no, Jesus goes on top.”
Then our volunteer laughed and said “well yes put this under Jesus then.
Then Bekah replied, “but parents go under Jesus.

Whew! Well we have made it the first seven years with stuff in the correct order…
I’ll let you know how things look five to six years from now 🙂