Really, You Don’t Have To Apologize

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I read this blog post just a minute ago, The Blessing of Boundaries. In this post was this story:

In the world of parenting, sticking to consistent boundaries can be one of the most rewarding, yet tiring battles. During daily routines such as shopping, school, interacting with friends, or taking care of the house, it is easy to lose heart.

For Will and Carissa, this situation played out one spring evening during small group—just after their three small children had gone to bed. For the previous two weeks, their three-year-old had been throwing a fit almost every night about going to bed. This particular night was no different; he was mad about being in bed and missing out. Mom and Dad had a distinct choice—stick to their convictions, or appease their son just to get through small group. Will smiled ruefully at the group of twenty friends, “I know the crying is distracting, but we’d love your grace as we stay consistent with our son!” With the full support of the group, Will and Carissa proceeded with the discussion amidst the background protests and crying. The group supported their determination to make progress with their headstrong son.

The following week, Will and Carissa greeted the group with smiles and a testimony of praise. “Several days after small group we finally broke through! One evening he got tired of fighting and protesting, and just fell asleep. He’s fallen asleep like a rock every night since!” Their persistence to hold their son to their expressed boundaries paid off. The commitment to train in obedience and right attitudes would serve their son the rest of his life.

This reminded me of the many times that I have heard parents apologize for having to get on to their children in front of others. I always look right at them and say, Oh no don’t apologize to me, I am back here cheering you on. Go Mom! Go Dad! I have them too. Especially any time you are holding the line.

When you are walking through the isles of Target and your child is having a throw their head back fit because you won’t let them have that new Elsa Doll and Dress combo after you clearly explained to them that you are entering this section of the store to buy their cousin his birthday present and were not shopping for them… Honey, keep your head held high and let them scream their little lungs out… and I will even play look out for you if you decide some other form of traditional discipline is needed.

But whatever you do please don’t apologize to me for doing the work of being a parent. Don’t look at me with that apologetic yet trying not to be mortified look in your eyes, but if you do all you will get from me is a smile and an encouraging “as long as you win, just don’t let them win

Hold that line! And be like Will and Carissa above and surround yourself with others who are going to be there to support you as you do.

As I shared in our parenting class last Sunday… you gotta be the stone wall!

 

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