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Left Behind

So far, it appears as though this house selling thing is really going to happen. Plans are that this coming Tuesday, as in 5 days, we will be passing our current home to another family. As I sit here now and walk around in our home… my feelings vary. I am partly dreading the packing and unpacking, partly excited to be moving into our new home, and partly feeling very sad about the moments, memories, and milestones that will be left behind as we say goodbye.

The horsey swing. It has been with us since for at least ten years. I cannot count the children that I love that have swung on this swing. Every child of mine, every niece and nephew, and every guest under 100 lbs that has ever been to our home. It will stay to be swung on by another little boy and I am sure more little boys and girls to come. May it be as good to them as it was to us.

 

The trampoline. Shelby and Bekah saved their own money to make this purchase. They were so proud of themselves for saying no to all the little spending’s in order to save their money to make this big purchase. We were very proud of them as well. Our new home will not have the yard room for a trampoline, so they have sold it with the house and will be purchasing water park summer passes with the profit.

 

The swing-set. My dad built this for the girls. I have enjoyed the many moments I have watched them outside swinging on it. I laugh at the countless fights I refereed over who got what color seat.  I sigh as I recall the moments that I, myself, sat in one of those swings and enjoyed a still, quiet, afternoon in the breeze…

 

The clothesline. My husband built this for me. I have loved it. I will miss the smell of the sun dried sheets and towels and I will miss watching them dance on the line during the strong spring winds. I always looked forward to that first spring day that was warm enough to put the towels on the line but not yet warm enough to begin the pollen season. I also will never forget our neighbor who walked over with a news article about the tradition of hanging clothes on the line when she saw my girls out helping me. She has her own clothes line and was tickled pink to see me teaching this to our girls. Who needs a dryer on a warm sunny day?

 

The rosemary bush. I killed at least three of these things trying to keep them in the house. Finally out of frustration I dug a hole and stuck this bush in it. It has thrived. I cannot tell you the meals that this rosemary bush has made absolutely delicious. It will be missed… an herb garden will be one of the first things planted in our new backyard. There is no yard too small for an herb garden. Fresh herbs simply are a must for any great meal.

 

The tree. This is one of two maple trees that I planted. I hope they continue to grow and one day offer the beautiful shade and contrast that I hoped they would as they stood in the midst of the pines.

 

The crepe myrtle. My Shelby gave this to me. It was one lone sprig when I planted it… one day I hope it will mature and be a beautiful tree with gorgeous blooms… I have the same hope for the one who gave it to me. God blessed me with my Shelby and I pray that she matures and becomes a beautiful tree of life with gorgeous gospel declaring blooms.

 

The rose bush. It’s small, but it faithfully blooms every year. This was a gift from my church for Mother’s Day. My girls were so excited to present it to me. I have looked forward to it peaking up through the mulch every spring. It would remind me that life is there, even when sometimes we can’t see it. It has given me hope when I have struggled with whether or not a loved one really new the LORD. When I struggled with whether or not they had eternal life… because to my eyes all I saw was left over dead sprigs… but underneath life was there… and when God called it to spring forth and break through the mulch and reach up to the glorious sun and soak in heaven’s rain… it would. My girls have prayed to receive Christ. They have admitted their sin, believed in Him and His Word, and have confessed Him as their Lord and Savior… but life has taught me that many times a young believer gets lost for a while in life and looks as dead as any son of Adam. So if this one day happens to them (though I pray desperately that they remain faithful to their God and His Word) the memory of this Mother’s Day’s rose will be there to give this mother hope.

 

My sacred spot. This is where I have had my quiet times with my God. Here is where I have leaned on Him and the truth in His Word. Here is where He would meet with me and I with Him. Jesus went up on the mountain to pray… I came here. This is where I sit now as I type out these words. Here is where God birthed Devotions From Genesis and Devotions From Exodus. Here is where God birthed just about every Bible study lesson I have taught in the last five years. Here is where I would pour out my hurts and anger and frustrations and doubts. Here is where I would break out into songs and tears of joy as I experienced Him and His presence. Here is where I would say “yes” and “amen” to my King.

Into this sky I would look as I hashed out my hurts and shared my joys with my God. Into this sky I would look with hopeful expectation for the return of my Savior.  Into this sky I would look and I could almost feel the eyes of my God upon me as I searched for Him. I would watch the wind in the tops of the trees and remember Elijah on the mountain and John 3… and how the Lord was in the quiet wind. Other times I would come out and watch the storms and I would remember Job and Psalm 18 and Revelation and how thunder and lightning surround His throne and how the LORD speaks through the whirlwind…

 

These tangible things will be left behind as we move to a different place… but the memories will go with me. I look forward to finding my sacred spot in our new home. I look forward to planting new trees and new plants and herbs. I look forward to making more memories. I pray that God will use our family in this new home to be a light of the gospel of Christ. I pray that He will go before us and place those in our path that need the seed of life sowed in their hearts, or watered, or tended, or even harvested. May our move not be in vain, nor simply for our own pleasure… but may He be able to use us for His divine purpose.

In the same breath… all these tangible things, and the neighbors that surround them, makes the chance of the “not sold” for whatever unforeseen reason not so disappointing or devastating. We are actually at a place that if we stay it is good and if we go it is good. I like this place of peace. This place of remembering that He is in control. I hope I stay here wherever we go…

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