As a believer there are all these “rules” out there… written and unwritten about who to marry and who not to marry. There are all these things in the church governments about what kind of people pastors can marry and what kind they can’t… and I am not talking about the whole gay contract call it a marriage issue… I am talking about the Genesis 2:24 covenant. I am talking about a man and woman who have chosen one another or unknowingly been chosen by God for one another.
My husband and I had made some terrible choices before we met one another… and I am sure that many thought that our choosing one another was just going to be another one of those terrible choices… as a matter of fact when I excitedly showed people the engagement ring, they did not say congratulations, instead they asked me if I was pregnant. Those who thought that way were wrong… and well truthfully there is really nothing more that I have ever enjoyed doing than proving other people’s assumptions wrong. This girl has always been up for a challenge. Whether it was jumping off a bridge, riding a real live bull, or jumping straight into until death do us part after a less than three month engagement.
Fifteen years ago today I walked down the isle with this man who I thought had the ability to lasso the moon. I saw in him a hard worker, a drive to push himself, a desire to be better, a man that could make me laugh and make me feel safe and protected while with him… whether we have been broke down in Atlanta or walking down the streets of New Orleans, I have never felt the slightest fear with him by my side. And because he was already a daddy… I also got to see how he loved his daughter.
As a believer there have been a lot of challenges that have come with the previous marriage thing. It seems that all sins of a man are forgivable and forgettable in the church except the sin of divorce… whether it was your fault or not… whether you were just a kid trying to do the right thing way back when is irrelevant. However had you not tried the marriage thing and just kept the kid out of wedlock and then years later married only once… that would be okay… because technically then you have only been the husband of one actual wife. So you can be forgiven and serve in a church leadership position after whoring around with as many as you want, just as long as you don’t marry any of them. Am I the only one who doesn’t get this?
Anyway, that was a side trip.
Many don’t know that it was my husband that sat me down and said we need to find a church… I was still a twenty-two year old, only been legal for a year, still wanting to bust up in the club and party girl. When my husband decided that this was not the scene we needed to be involved in… I was just a little disappointed. I mean he was eight years older than me, he had already been doing this a while, I however, was just getting started good… what on earth was he thinking?
I tell you what he was thinking… He WAS thinking.
So we began visiting churches… and within a year or so of attending church sporadically and after delivering our Shelby I found myself at the altar in tears experiencing revival and wholly surrendering my life to Christ… and we officially joined our church. Thanks be to this adulterer 😉
That, my dear beloved of God, is the redemptive work of the grace of God and the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ. There is no such thing as too late or too far where grace is concerned. The grace of God knows no limits. The grace of God is not bound by the interpretations of man. God can do whatever God wants to do with whoever God wants to do it with whenever God wants to do it.
We can’t make enough bad choices to cancel out the choosing of Christ. We broke all the “rules”, but we couldn’t break the call of God on our lives.
You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain, so that whatever you ask of the Father in My name He may give to you.
John 15:16
Just a few weeks after our marriage my Mamaw Dot came over for visit. Now remember, my husband was eight years older than me, we were from different ends of the county, and I had only known him a total of a year when we married. As my grandmother walked through our trailor (we started out our marriage in a brand new mobile home that we placed on my parent’s land) checking out my homemaking skills she came to the hall where I had hung family photos… she stopped and said, “Is that Fred and Jannie?”
Now my husband and I had not communicated alot about family that was no longer with us on this earth… I just knew those were his grandparents, I had no clue what their names were. So I hollared down the hall to inquire of Patrick as to his grandparent’s names and well yes, they were indeed Fred and Jannie. Come to find out his grandparents and my great grandparents, now both deceased, were best friends and fishing buddies. My grandmother had grew up with his dad and uncles…
So since then I have always laughed and claimed that our grandparents did some matchmaking in heaven. I can picture them sitting up there in eternity telling the Lord that if He wanted to straighten the two of us out to stick us together, we would either kill each other or live happily ever after.
By the grace of God it’s been happily ever after!
My man posted this photo collage to Facebook early this morning with the caption, “Left, wedding night. Top right, 10 year vow renewal ceremony. Bottom right, 15 years together. You can’t fake those smiles. Happy Anniversary Nicole Halbrooks Vaughn, I love you.”
My goodness I love him!
Fifteen years later and I love him more than I even dreamed was possible. Last night I looked up what the “15th Anniversary” tradition gift was and learned that this is the crystal anniversary year. Makes sense to me. Because after fifteen years with this man, it’s crystal clear that this man was meant for me and me alone. We make an amazing team.
Patrick Vaughn I walked down the isle to you to the song “Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” and well you rocked my world then, and you rock it still. I love you so very much and I treasure every moment we have together!