Have you ever had one of those days that turned into weeks that turned into a months… I think I am there. The tabs are open in my brain. Too many tabs. I feel at the moment like I am lost in confounded confusion…
Yep.
Open.
All. The. Time.
It used to be just forgetting to close the lid on the washing machine. Or starting the dryer after throwing the wet clothes in… maybe occasionally losing my car keys to find them in the sink with the dirty dishes.
I should have known it was getting worse the day I was trying to gather clothes to pack for our church’s Spring Retreat to the Creation Museum and after I had searched frantically upstairs for my tennis shoes I headed downstairs to see I could find them and on my way down the stairs I happened to look down and see that the shoes that I was searching so frantically for were on my feet… yes, on my feet. I was wearing them the whole time.
I should have caught that it was getting bad when I set the timer on the microwave to time the cornbread cooking and then began to prepare another part of the meal… to turn around and see the “I thought was cooking cornbread” still sitting on the stove.
The ultimate was probably the day I sat down at the computer in our Homeschool Co-op office and kept rubbing my finger on the table as I grew quite frustrated because the pointer thing was not going anywhere… when I looked down and remembered that I was at a desktop… not a laptop.
Yep… too many tabs? Works for me. I’ll use that one.
Then there’s the rare moment when everything stops.
Unfortunately… its rarely the free time for me. It’s usually always, the “forgetting everything.” Like the fact that just now at this moment I just realized that I sent an email for the sole purpose of sending a certain attachment… and well I just realized that I forgot to add the attachment.
So far this Mother’s body is going on almost 12 years… and coffee and adrenaline and baby smiles are still doing the job… mostly 🙂
Although, I think the creeping on 40’s is causing some short circuit action and fogginess to be taking place that was never there as bad before. And the lack of sleep is not as easily bounced back from… and what’s worse is when you get the opportunity to sleep you are up all night going to the bathroom… because it’s spring and your allergies are causing you to have to blow your nose… or sneeze… and well after two children, that’s just never good.
Right now I can’t seem to complete a thought… it’s quite frustrating. So I am venting it out here in this post, just so I can get it out of my head and well maybe you can get a smile.
A smile about the fact that even now as I type this out in intervals of laundry and dishes and watching my kids play the airplane game… you know the one you played when they were little and you laid on your back in the floor and they leaned their little bellies against the soles of your feet and you would lift them up with your legs extended straight up and they would lay on your feet, holding your hands, until they got brave enough to stretch out their arms wide like an airplane… yeh that one… that one that they are now big enough to play on their own without me…
Yes a smile about the fact that when I am here multi-tasting while I type, making post-it notes about my brain tabs and sticking them to the wall and instead of writing “Awana Awards” on the post-it note I write “Post-it” on the post-it note… huh… yeh, deep sigh.
And then I return again to this same post after tucking my girls into bed… and changing out the laundry to dry another load… and after this bedtime devo with my almost twelve year old, not so little anymore, little girl:
Coincidence?
Nope.
Not at all.
We teach our girls that there are no coincidences for Christians… God is always there at work… in our hearts, in our minds, in our souls… meeting our needs and reminding us to look up at Him and not to get lost in the circumstances that are often not ours to control…
As my husband reminded me again tonight of a truth I already know… God always gets it done.
My greatest concern is being so caught up in the stuff, distracted by the plans, that I miss God and it’s no longer Him working through me, but me gritting my teeth and getting it done by sheer stubbornness… I never ever ever want it to be me… only Him.
If it’s not Him, it’s pointless and in vain and just flat out wasted time and energy.
So tonight I rest.
And tomorrow I breathe.
The Lord will accomplish what concerns me;
Your lovingkindness, O Lord, is everlasting;
Do not forsake the works of Your hands.
Psalm 138:8