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All posts by Nicole Vaughn
>I Am My Beloved’s
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I am covered and protected
I am special in His eyes
I am lovely
I am beautiful
I am chosen by His hand
He holds me
He knows me
And still by my side He stands
He leads me through the waters
He guides me through the lands
He carries me through the wilderness
He never lets me down
I can trust in my Beloved
For His promises He keeps
He is faithful to me always
In Him my heart finds peace
I call to my Beloved
He answers with a voice both strong and sweet
He says, “I hear you My beloved
I have all that you’ll ever need.
I’ll never leave you nor forsake you
I’ll never degrade you when I speak
I’ll never hurt you or curse you
I’ll never bring you grief
I am here to love you
I am here to make you Mine
I am here to lift you up
And beloved the pleasure is all Mine
I see all of your potential
I see all that you can be
You were created to be special
Oh beloved, you were created just for Me
You were created because I loved you even before the world began
Oh My beloved, you are because I AM.”
– me
(inspired and written in Sept 2004 when studying the Song of Solomon while teaching Sex According To God, by Kay Arthur -> O how He loves us! Will we love Him in return?)
One Master
There is no thrill like the thrill of studying God’s Word as His Holy Spirit filled child. To be taught by the Creator of the Universe and all it contains, to be so close to Him that you are able to hear the still small voice of the God that when He speaks the mountains tremble and the heavens roar. Well if you can even grasp that slightly it is overwhelmingly humbling!
Currently I am in the study of Isaiah and Colossians. Oh what a joy it is to learn more of the awesomeness of my God. There is absolutely nothing boring about the Word of my God. It is a book that I have not been able to put down in almost 10 years. Pouring over it and in it, and the more I learn the more I want to learn because the more I learn the more I realize how much I do not know. Each word, each verse, could be poured over for a lifetime and still one would be left with their eyes searching and their mouth gaped wide open as they attempted to take in all that God could share with them concerning this one single word, this one single verse.
As I have been studying in Isaiah this verse is one of many that spoke volumes to me. Isaiah 26:13 “O LORD our God, other masters besides You have ruled us; But through You alone we confess Your name.” I read this and I had to ask God, what other masters have ruled me. What exactly did the death that I died with my Jesus accomplish in me.
I received an email from a precious woman who shared with me that she had sat under a preacher as a christian for over 50 years listening to sermon after sermon, but now she was beginning to reject what she had heard. She said she knew the facts of the death, burial and resurrection of Christ but she still did not know what the death of Christ had to do with her life. I have no clue who this woman is, she wrote as from another nationality, another country, but my heart broke as I read her words, but I praise God that she was seeking truth! As I read her words my mind was pulled back to Isaiah 26:13.
So precious ones, what does Christ’s death and resurrection means to us for our life? Because He died and because when we trust in Him, when we identify with Him, when we put our faith in Him and in His work on the cross, we die with Him and if we die with Him it also means we are raised with Him into a new life (Romans 6:3-5) we are a new creation (2 Corin 5:17).
In this new life we have freedom. We have freedom from all the masters that once ruled over us. So we have to ask ourselves what masters rule us? These are the masters that I believe God showed me as I opened His Word. He took me back to what I had learned through my study in the book of Romans.
(1) The lie, was once my master. The lie that the serpent whispered to Eve once captivated me. The lie that I did not need God. The lie that I could make my own choices and decisions in this world. The lie that I was my own god, I ruled my own life, I made my own way, I lived by my own rules, my own idea of right. I praise God that the Truth has set me free (John 8:32). The lie (Romans 1:25) is no longer my master. I am completely aware that my every breath only comes to me because my Creator God has allowed it to. I am not my own god, I make horrible decisions and choices when left to myself, and I have no basis on which to determine right from wrong apart from God. Why is that? Well basically because there is no freedom apart from God, apart from Christ, because the truth of the lie is that I am slave to other masters. We are never masterless. So what other masters rule us if Christ does not?
(2) The next master I saw was religion. Yes we can be enslaved to the traditions of man, their idea of holiness, their list of do’s and don’ts. Lists and lists of steps to holiness. A 12 step program to getting it right. You are not saved, you are not worthy of godliness or holiness or righteousness unless you look and act like us and follow all our rules and traditions and our interpretations of the Law. In Christ man’s made religion (Romans 2, Galatians 1:3-12, Colossians 2:8) is no longer our master. God tells us in Isaiah 2:22 to stop regarding man whose breathe of life is in his nostrils for why should he be so esteemed. My life is not to seek the approval of man, but only the approval of my new Master, my Jesus, for He bought me with precious blood.
(3) Death is no longer our master (Romans 6:9). Death is swallowed up in victory in Christ! I know that because He lives, I will live. I have no longer a fear of death, because death is only now a transition into an even greater life. I am not controlled by fear of death. I will not be threatened by it through man, disease, disaster, or demon. Death simply means that I will be absent from the body and present with my Lord. He holds my life in His hands. He bought and paid for it. It belongs to Him and I trust Him completely with it. It is His to take when and how He pleases in order to bring Him glory.
(4) Sin is no longer our master (Romans 6:14). Before I died in Christ I was a slave to sin. Sin had me bound. It was inherent in me, passed down through the seed of my great great, plus more greats grandfather Adam. The fact that I commit sins does not make me sinner, I committed sins because I was already a sinner. As we look at Romans 6 we see that in Christ we died to sin, the sin, not sins plural. The sin is what I was enslaved to. The sin that was inherent in me, the sin that was imputed against me because I committed sins in my enslavement to it, the sin that entered the world because of the lie. This sin is no longer my master. In Christ I am enslaved to righteousness (Romans 6:18)
(5) The Law is no longer our master (Romans 7:4). Apart from Christ I was/am bound to the Law of God. If not in Christ I will be judged according to the standard of the Law of God. Why? Well it’s His universe, His rules, if you can’t keep them you can’t stay. Now in my death to the Law and my marriage to Christ I do not become lawless. I simply am filled with an overwhelming desire to please my Master not by keeping a list of rules but out of sheer love and adoration. His Laws, His love, His life, His righteousness is now the desire of my heart. I want to keep His Law and do what pleases Him not out of fear, but out of love for Him.
(6) The flesh is no longer our master (Romans 8:12-13). Yes, that is right. The flesh is no longer my master. In Christ I now have the power through His Holy Spirit in me to put to death the deeds of the flesh. All those desires that sin brought in my life and awakened in my flesh, all those lusts that my flesh screamed for, all those things that I felt completely powerless to say “NO!” to, now in Christ I have power over. I have power to say “NO!” No matter how strong the desire is or how loud my flesh screams. The still small voice of the Spirit of my new Master is louder and more powerful than my flesh any day and everyday. He gave us this authority in His name and through His Spirit and by His Word. It is our responsibility to use it.
(7) Satan is no longer our master (Romans 16:20). The devil no longer can make you do anything! With the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ, all authority in heaven and on earth was given to Him. He holds the keys to life and death. He is the LORD of hosts. All things in heaven and on earth and under the earth must bow at His name. He is King of kings, Lord of lords, God of gods. He is all in all! Satan might run rampant in the earth and stomp about in his tirade, deceiving those who would be deceived, but God is soon going to crush him under His feet. Until this day, in Christ he has no authority over me.
These seven masters are no longer master over anyone who is in Christ. Those in Christ now have a new master His name is Jesus. We are slaves to no one or no thing, because Jesus calls us friend (John 15:15). Whom the Son has set free is free indeed! (John 8:36)
Oh, but precious one, if we know Jesus we know what He did for us. When we know what His grace means, when we grasp it fully, when we understand the extent of His mercy, we cannot be content in our freedom alone. In our freedom we turn to Him and then willingly become His slave.
Our desire is for Him.
We desire to obey Him and honor Him in our freedom by doing His will. And then in this freedom, in this desire for His will, in this great love for Him, we begin to love what He loves and He loves the world. He desires that all would have this freedom, that all would serve Him as their One Master. So in this we are compelled to go out and share this truth with others that they too might be free indeed!
These other masters, these old masters, will rise up and try to take us back. We will battle them until the day that death releases us or Christ returns, but that is just it… we battle! We battle as free men and women of God. We are to turn to them and tell them to get behind us because they do not control or rule us any longer our lives belong to Christ not them.
This is only a small picture, a small breakdown, of what the death of Christ means for our life. May you be blessed by the study of the glorious Word of our Creator God!
To Him be all the glory.
Amen
>For You Have Died And Your Life Is Hidden In Christ
>This is a past Facebook “note” from May 19th 2011:
What does it mean to be hidden with Christ in God? God has given us a beautiful picture in His creations as to what this means to us as His children. Jimmy Giers gave us some sweet insight as He taught to us from Romans 12:1-3 Wed night. Let us never forget “that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse” (Rom 1:19-20)
The insight that Jimmy added to this was the sharing of what happens inside the cocoon during the metamorphosis. This is what brought my mind to the verse I have been studying this week, Col 3:3, “For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” So what happens in this cocoon stage? To see the beauty of this and the complete picture let us begin at the beginning.
It all starts with a mother butterfly finding a young soft healthy milkweed and carefully depositing an egg.
(“But the seed in the good soil, these are the ones who have heard the word in an honest and good heart, and hold it fast, and bear fruit with perseverance.” Luke 8:15)
Fresh milkweed is a must as this is the only food the caterpillar will eat.
(“like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation,” 1 Peter 2:2)
A time for growth has arrived. The larva is driven by one commandment in life.” to eat and grow”. In just two weeks the caterpillar will shed its skin five times. In other words, the insect must wear and outgrow five skins.
(“But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘MAN SHALL NOT LIVE ON BREAD ALONE, BUT ON EVERY WORD THAT PROCEEDS OUT OF THE MOUTH OF GOD.'” Matt 4:4.
“How sweet are Your words to my taste! Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” Psalm 119:103.
“I am the living bread that came down out of heaven; if anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever; and the bread also which I will give for the life of the world is My flesh.” John 6:51.
“So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth.” 1 Corin 3:7.)
Notice how the old skin has been pushed back into a crumpled bit of debris which will soon be discarded.
(“if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught in Him, just as truth is in Jesus, that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind,” Eph 4:21-23.
So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh– for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” Rom 8:12-14)
At this stage the caterpillar is eating its fill. It must get enough nutrition from a sole diet of milkweed leaves to fuel the complex processes of the metamorphosis to come.
(“And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even when faced with death.” Rev 12:11.
“Then I saw thrones, and they sat on them, and judgment was given to them And I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded because of their testimony of Jesus and because of the word of God, and those who had not worshiped the beast or his image, and had not received the mark on their forehead and on their hand; and they came to life and reigned with Christ for a thousand years.” Rev 20:4)
Signals from the chrysalis forming within compel the caterpillar to slowly begin releasing the claspers one at a time. Soon the caterpillar will completely let go. Its life is now completely dependent on the silk button and how well it has attached to it.
(“I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5.
“I in them and You in Me,” John 17:23.
“Christ in you, the hope of glory” Col 1:27.
“who will transform the body of our humble state into conformity with the body of His glory, by the exertion of the power that He has even to subject all things to Himself.” Phil 3:21)
A caterpillar to chrysalis transformation. The larva sheds its skin to reveal a wet gyrating chrysalis. The pupa must transfer its hold to its cremaster and drop the old larval skin. The chrysalis gradually assumes its predestined shape and hardens into an imobile waxy pupa.
(“…you laid aside the old self with its evil practices, and have put on the new self who is being renewed to a true knowledge according to the image of the One who created him–” Col 3:9-10.
“For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren;” Rom 8:29.
“by loving the LORD your God, by obeying His voice, and by holding fast to Him; for this is your life and the length of your days, that you may live in the land which the LORD swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them.” Deut 30:20)
The soft helpless “prepupal” insect lets go and hangs in a “J” shap. At this point life is dependent on the grip of the two hind claspers into the silk anchor. The first of many challenges has been overcome. Now a time of waiting has arrived yet the internal workings of the larva are very active.
(“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” 2 Corin 4:16-18)
Now the change to a final form of the chrysalis continues. I say “continues” for this changing of shape began even while the caterpillar was shedding its skin. It can be seen from the pictures that the basic template of the chrysalis is evolving from the “caterpillar that once was” to the “butterfly that will be”.
(“Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is.” 1 John 3:2.
“Now I say this, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Behold, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed,” 1 Corin 15:50-51)
The chrysalis is a perfect example of form and function.
(“And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14.
“For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps,” 1 Peter 2:21.
“Just as we have borne the image of the earthy, we will also bear the image of the heavenly.” 1 Corin 15:49.
“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit.” 2 Corin 3:18.)
(*Things in bold print above come from : http://lifecycle.onenessbecomesus.com/larvae.html)
“The first thing that happens is that a lot of the caterpillar’s old body dies. It is attacked by the same sort of juices the caterpillar used in its earlier life to digest its food and it would not be far wrong to say the caterpillar digests itself from the inside out. This process is called ‘histolysis’.
Not all the tissue is destroyed however some of the insect’s old tissue passes on to its new self.
There is one particular sort of tissue left after histolysis. In a number of places in the insect’s body are collections of special formative cells, which have played no part in the insects larval life and have stayed hidden or protected during this partial death. Each of these groups of cells is called an ‘imaginal disk’ or a ‘histoblast’.
The imaginal disks begin to reproduce rapidly and develop into wings or legs or antennae, from the largest structure to the most tiny detail of a single hair or scale, building of a new body out of the soup that the insect’s digestive juices have made of the old larval body. This they do using the same biochemical processes that all insects use to turn their food into part of their bodies.
This rebuilding process is called ‘histogenesis’ which is the formation of different tissues from undifferentiated cells. During this time the insect is very vulnerable because it cannot run away, and this is why insects try to choose somewhere safe to hide away when they are going through this incredible change.”
( http://lepcurious.blogspot.com/2008/10/what-happens-in-metamorphosis-exactly.html)
“For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse. For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures. Therefore God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies would be dishonored among them. For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.” (Rom 8:18-25)
Read again, “because that which is known about God is evident within them”, I believe this verse compared with the metamorphosis of a butterfly is key to a lot. God is not willing for any man to perish, but desires all to come to repentance. He gave His Son for the whole world, not a select few. He desires for every man to be complete in Christ.
I believe that just as this caterpillar “In a number of places in the insect’s body are collections of special formative cells, which have played no part in the insects larval life and have stayed hidden or protected during this partial death.” so do we.
In the fall man experienced a death, but I believe that God left within us truth, truth that will lead us to the Light so that we may have life again. The question is will we seek that truth, that light, or will we suppress it in unrighteousness? “For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God.” (John 3:20-21)
When we receive Christ, when we come to the Light, and by faith receive Him as our Savior, He becomes our chrysalis. In Him we die, our old bodies are crucified with and in Him (Rom 6:4-6) and in Him we are transformed and conformed into a new creature (Col 2:11). We are hidden in Him (Col 3:3) as God does this amazing work within us. God gives us a new heart and new life. Our old self decays and is being put to death while our inner man is being strengthened and being conformed to fit into the new glorious body that will be our when we are revealed with Christ (Rom 8:23). Just as in the caterpillar we take some of our old self with us, the part that that was fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139), the part that makes us each individual and unique.
“During this time the insect is very vulnerable because it cannot run away.”
I love this. It reminds me of “Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?” (Psalm 139:7) “and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.” (John 10:28-29).
Oh precious one, when we belong to God we cannot escape this metamorphosis. We will be conformed to the image of His Son. He will accomplish His purpose, and He will bring whatever trials into your life that He has to in order for His will to be done in you. It may be painful at the time, but oh when we emerge as the butterfly it will all be worth it.
As I studied through the book of Romans in depth last year this is an excerpt of some of what God showed me then from Romans 12:1-3:
“Paul goes on to say that we are not to be conformed to this world. We are not to take on the mold of the age in which we live. My Pastor has said that we have gone from smoking in public and having sex in private, to having sex in public and smoking in private. How true this is! The world and society changes its moral and ethical character with the wind, but God’s Word does not change. He does not change. We are not to be conformed to this world, to whatever age we live in, but to God. For we have been “predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son” (Romans 8:29)
We are to be transformed by the renewing of our mind. The word transformed is “metamorphoo”, it is to be completely transfigured. “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
As we look at nature, and we can, because God has made it clear that “since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made,” (Romans 1:20), we can gain understanding to this transforming through the metamorphosis, the metamorphoo, of the butterfly. This butterfly began as a caterpillar, stuck to the ground, the earth, he is of the earth. Then one day a transformation begins.
Oh precious one, we are born in sin, of the earth, in and of Adam (Romans 5: 12-14), but by the grace and mercies of God and through the power of His Holy Spirit a transformation can begin in our life. The caterpillar does not seek to become the butterfly, divine intervention, the purpose and work of God, takes over the life of this caterpillar. Precious one, we do not seek God on our own (Romans 3:9-18). It is only by the divine intervention and purpose and will of God that you even acknowledge the possibility of His existence. Then it is the power of God in and through the gospel of God that you are saved, by grace through faith not of yourselves.
Now as we look back to this caterpillar and his transformation into this butterfly, he goes into a cocoon. The word cocoon comes from the Latin word “pupa” and the time in the cocoon is called the “pupal stage”. My friend if you are a Christian you are in the pupal stage. “Go therefore and make disciples…” (Matthew 28:19), disciples are learners, pupils. Oh precious one, your cocoon should be the church, not A church, but THE church. It is vital that you do more than just pew sit on Sunday morning. You must get involved in a small group. You must get involved with the body of Christ. There are many who come to a church to be a part of a faith, but the body of Christ is THE church and they are in THE faith. It is here that you are able to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. It is here in these small groups, in the cocoon, that the “pupal stage” can take place. It is here that you first present your body as a living and holy sacrifice to God and you learn how to continually present your body to Him. It is here that you dig into His Word and the transformation begins. Here in the cocoon, the body of Christ.
My friends do not write off the body of Christ, the church, because of a church. Oh precious one, are you one who says you believe, yet you struggle to walk in obedience to the faith? Are you struggling to find out what God’s purpose is for your life, what His will is in circumstances and situations of your life. Then, my friend, you must get back in that pupal stage. The caterpillar doesn’t choose when it leaves the cocoon, and neither do we. We are not to think more highly of ourselves than we ought to think (Romans 12:3). If a caterpillar was to leave its cocoon before God finished his transformation, it would die, and my friend so will we (1 Corinthians 5:1-5, 1 Corinthians 11: 30, Romans 11:17-22).
Now do you see, my friend, why Paul writes with such passion. Oh precious one, I urge you by the mercies of God to present your body as a living and holy sacrifice to God. Be consecrated unto Him. Come out of the world and be separate. Do not be deceived by the traditions and philosophies of man. Do not be conformed into the mold of society, but only into the mold of Christ. Knowing that one day your transformation will be complete and you will leave this “pupal stage” in glory! From a lowly stuck to the earth caterpillar to a beautiful butterfly soaring in the highest heavens! “To Him be the glory forever. Amen.” (Romans 11:36)”
(Excerpt from Metamorphoo written 9/27/10)
I could keep digging and digging into this beautiful picture of rebirth that God has given us. One of the things that Jimmy shared from what he studied on metamorphosis was from a guy who spoke of how the caterpillar in the chrysalis is completely broke down and then made into a completely new creature. The heart, inner parts of the caterpillar is turned into a goop and then is re-crafted into this beautiful butterfly. The man stated that in a sense this caterpillar is completely born again. “Jesus answered and said to him, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” (John 3:3)
Oh Father,
May I become goop in Your masterful hands and may You continue to transform me into the perfect form and function of Your Son, while I am hidden in the safety of Your Son as Noah was hidden in the safety of the ark. You are the potter and I am the clay, mold me into a beautiful representation of You. To You be all the glory forever and ever.
In Jesus name,
Amen
>Vaughn Elementary
>When I first began homeschooling our girls I was programed to carry out this mission according to the current public school system, the one I and my husband graduated from, and the one we had purposely pulled our girls out of. I would test my girls every week and what they got was what they got…
Then one day it hit me.
Wait a minute.
This is not public school.
This is Vaughn Elementary.
What am I doing?
Thank God I had a “lightbulb” moment. It just hit me out of nowhere in mid test (yeh it just hit me out of nowhere, but I know exactly Who it came from). I remembered what the whole point of a test was in God’s eyes.
The object of the test was not to leave my children in failure in a particular area and then move on to the next thing. The test was not the final word. I was.
The object of the test was to see if I had done my job well enough that they understood and learned. If they failed it was my job to go back and go over the information again. My job is to teach. The test is to show me what I need to teach again. The object of the test is to do good for them in the end.
Yes it may seem like it takes 40 years to get my child to understand how n = 3009 but if it takes 40 years… well that means we’ll just have to do school right on through summer and on Saturday too, but they will finish in victory, not marked as failures. The test will be for their good in the end. We will take as many trips around the math mountain as we must for them to get a grasp and understanding of the material and do our very best to keep the joy of learning alive and well.
Test my mind and my heart.
For Your lovingkindness is before my eyes,
And I have walked in Your truth.
Psalm 26:2-3
Consider it all joy, my brethren,
Did you change how and when you tested as your children grew older?
>Warning: Nagville Next Exit, All Roads Dead End
>Those who have no interest in turning from their destructive ways must, through the prayers of others, be turned over to God. Ultimately, they are responsible for their own actions; it is not our responsibility to change our loved ones. We can try to have a positive influence, but in the end it’s up to them to seek God for the necessary changes. Pressures, nagging, complaints, criticism, scolding, and similar actions aren’t going to do a thing. Instead, pray that you’ll see something supernatural happen. Your mate has the capacity to change, but he or she can’t be beaten in to restoration.
~ James Robison from Living in Love
Precious one, you are not, nor will you ever be your husbands Holy Spirit, you will not ever even be his conscience. He my dear is on his own. It’s all between him and God. All you can ever do is muddy the waters and harden his heart. So dear sweet one who might use her tongue as a lashing tool…
When you choose to hold your tongue, then you are choosing to walk by faith and you show that you trust that God has got everything under control…
Personally I have never felt that I was much of a nagger, my husband just is not the kind of man that would take that too well… so I have never really felt like I was a contentious woman in the nag side (my husband might have a different opinion on that, lol).
However, I have to admit that I have at times passed judgment on my husband in my heart, refused him grace, refused him mercy, refused him forgiveness, and punished him with the silent treatment and by withholding my affection. I get hurt and I through up walls of self-protection and forget that I am already protected by my breastplate of righteousness, my helmet of salvation, my belt of truth, my shield of faith, and I am already within the walls of the strong tower of my King.
I would give the silent treatment (and yes there is a difference in simply being silent and giving the silent treatment) because the truth is I had/have a fear of confrontation with him. I know I can’t out argue him, I am not quick witted at all. I know I cannot manipulate him. It’s just not in my ability to “handle someone”. I am the person who gets blindsided and stunned and then spends the next days and nights thinking of all the things I could have done or said at that moment instead of just standing there and taking it.
When we were first married and he would do something or say something that hurt my feelings and I hadn’t the nerve to address it in an appropriate way and time, I would try to show him what the issue was by doing it back to him.
I do not recommend this.
It does not work… at all.
So what do you do if you know something is off kilter with your spouse?
What do you do when you see them in destructive behaviour?
What do you do when that behaviour is toward you?
You address it kindly, when the time is appropriate.
You pray without ceasing about it.
And you leave it in the hands of a mighty God.
In marriage we get a first hand, front row seat, to every character flaw and deeds of flesh that our spouse has… but just because we see it and experience it doesn’t mean we have the power to fix it, nor is it necessarily our job to point it out, especially repeatedly point it out over and over and over and over.
Your mate has the capacity to change, but he or she can’t be beaten in to restoration.
However, it is without a doubt our job to lift our spouse up in prayer and listen closely to the leading of the Holy Spirit and only speak when He says speak and how He says speak and what He says speak.
It will never do any good to keep on addressing it.
It will however do good to keep on praying about it.
You can’t change anyone’s heart… but God most certainly can.
**** Disclosure: In cases of mental, emotional, or physical abuse seek wise counsel immediately. You are not alone and help is available and waiting.
“Always guard your words when your husband is going through terribly hard times. I want to confess something about us men. Mainly, I want you to remember: going through sustained hard times weakens most men. For some reason, hardship seems to strengthen women; we admire you for that. But we men are weakened when times of affliction hit and stay. In our weakened condition we lose our objectivity, sometimes our stability. Our discernment is also skewed. Our determination lags. We become vulnerable, and most men don’t know how to handle themselves in a vulnerable state of mind. So in light of all of this—hear me—we need your clear perspective, wisdom, and spiritual strength. Most of all, we need you to pray for us as you’ve never prayed. We need not only your prayers, we need your emotional support. We need you to take the initiative and step up. We need your words of confidence and encouragement.”
>A Man With A Dream
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>Leave to Cleave
>When Mother continued to counsel us against our plans, James faced the issue head-on. One night when he was over for super, he said to my mother, very politely and respectfully, “Ma’am, I cannot let you be in charge of this relationship. You will not be in charge of our wedding or our marriage. This is what we want to do, and if we have to do it totally on our own, we will. And if there’s no ceremony, it doesn’t matter.
~ Betty Robison from Living in Love
Oh I read this and I just wanted to cheer James and Betty on.
You go James! Thank you for being a man and stepping up and speaking for your family. And Betty way to stand by your man and let him lead.
I have seen almost marriages that should have been marriages crumble before they even had a chance to begin because Momma was not willing to let her baby be an adult… and now most of those are currently living in sexual sin and broken homes anyway… because the Momma used the excuse of fear of failure before the marriage even had a chance to begin and attempt success…
However, I suppose the real issue is the boy who was not willing to become a man and chose to let Momma be boss.
We are currently in a generation that simply blows my mind and makes me shake my head in complete disbelief and frustration. A generation full of parents who counsel their children against marriage…
I mean the last time I checked it was God who said
So moms and dads… offer wise counsel, but offer it according to the Word of God. Be willing to cut the apron strings. Be willing to let your children be adults.
I had a dear friend tell me a story about how her youngest child was very sick when he was baby and she was concerned that now he was not walking as she believed he should be by the age he was at this time. She expressed her concern to her child’s pediatrician at the child’s check-up and the doctor lovingly told her, “if you want your son to learn to walk you have to put him down.”
For our children to learn to walk we have to put them down and be willing to let them fall…
And children, young men and women, be adults. Men be the head of your home and leader of your family and let your wife or future wife know that you are capable of standing strong. And woman, let your man be a man, and confidently stand by him and show him that you trust him to lead your family.
And in closing, a word from Betty…
While firm, he was gracious, and we certainly didn’t want to sever our relationship with my parents, but the time had come to change the nature of that relationship. We wanted an open door to wise counsel, but we didn’t want the open door to include intrusive control… Every couple should seek to maintain a good relationship with their parents but not at the expense of their own marriage. We had to leave in order to cleave.
~ Betty Robison
>In Good Times and In Bad Times
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>Can I Get An Amen!
>One of the attendant aims of missional evangelicalism is to challenge the compartmentalizing of the Christian faith that we see within the Western church. We are fantastic at itemizing our schedules, and even if we don’t assign God a very large bracket, we are constantly remorseful that we “haven’t made much time for him.” While such compartmentalizing — as if “time with God” can or should be hermetically sealed off from everything else — is a natural symptom of our culture and environment, it also reflects a bad theology.
The truth is, the day does not belong to us. It is not our day to do with as we please. We serve a sovereign God. He created the end from the beginning, knows our future exhaustively, and is firmly in control. He made our days and they belong to him. As such, isn’t it a bit arrogant to begin with the idea that each day is ours and then worry about fitting God in? Instead, we should work at the humble awe of knowing all of our moments, every millisecond, waking or sleeping, are perfectly accounted for within the economy of heaven.
Let us stake the flag of Christ’s kingdom into the soil of our first waking moment. Drink your coffee when you get up, of course, but drink it to the glory of God. Then carry on in this way all day, no matter the task, be it menial or notable, so that each day may be a living prayer that God’s will will be done on earth as it is in heaven. This is what it means to live a gospel-saturated life: it means being so conscious of the greatness of the gospel that changing diapers or cutting the grass is as much an act of worship as singing a praise chorus in a church service….
Jesus Christ is Lord over my heart, and he is Lord over my hands, and he is Lord over what I do with these hands, and he is Lord over what I say in my heart while I’m doing it. In submitting to the lordship of Christ, then, I do not treat washing dishes as wasting time I could be spending doing something “meaningful,” but rather as a service to those who eat in my home, as a service to those who would have to wash the dishes if I did not, and as an offering of thanksgiving to God that I have food to eat, dishes to eat it on, and running water inside my home to clean with.
To paraphrase C. S. Lewis, there is not a square inch of our lives that is not claimed by God and counterclaimed by ourselves. If we believe God is sovereign, however, we will see all of life as mission and be led to submit the square inches we otherwise hold so tightly to the Maker of inches and hands.
~ Jared Wilson from Gospel Wakefulness
Oh wow, I love this!
How releasing, how liberating is it to hear these words?
Are you like me?
Do you struggle with guilt on whether or not you are doing enough for the glory of God?
Have you ever said, if I had have known Christ before I would have been on that mission field?
I wish I could be on a plane right now to that orphanage…
What could I be doing for You God if I had not the “responsibilities” I have in this world?
Or simply, I didn’t make enough time for You today God.
Oh my goodness to be reminded that God is not waiting to be “fit” into “our” schedule.
I never before thought about how arrogant that really sounded.
Just knowing that all that I do is for the glory of the gospel, or at least it should be, does two things:
1) Gives every area of life meaning and purpose for the glory of the gospel of God
2) Reminds us that every area of life should be lived in awareness that it has meaning and purpose for the glory of the gospel of God
God is in our everything… our every moment… our every day…
I know this, I really already do, but it is always wonderful and breathtaking to be reminded of this truth.
Hopefully one day I will fully “get it” 🙂