A good name is better than a good ointment,
And the day of one’s death is better than the day of one’s birth.
It is better to go to a house of mourning
Than to go to a house of feasting,
Because that is the end of every man,
And the living takes it to heart.
Ecclesiastes 7:1-2
On this day two weeks ago I was praying for my Daddy and Momma and the radiologist that they would be meeting with concerning the beginning of radiation treatments on a tumor on my Daddy’s adrenal gland. A tumor that had somehow managed to evade the chemotherapy that was actually shrinking the tumors in his lung and lymph nodes. Shrinking them to the point that his CEA markers were dropping abundantly every week, giving us the appearance that we were headed in a positive direction.
At least at the discovery of this tumor things finally made sense. My Daddy was getting weaker and weaker, but we couldn’t understand why. We wondered if he was just hitting the point of depression in the process, so we surrounded him with posters and encouragement and schedules and exercises trying to keep his spirits up. We spoke of light things and made plans for the future… you know, for when he was feeling better.
He was not depressed. He was not giving up. He had kept his word to us and to the doctors to the best of his ability just as he always had his whole life. He was, as a matter of fact, fighting so hard for us that his white blood cell count had risen to over 114,000 by that Saturday, and it was for us he was fighting. My Daddy was ready and willing to go home to be with his Lord, but he fought the good fight (1 Timothy 6:12), knowing that to live was Christ and to die was gain (Philippians 1:21). My Daddy kept the faith (2 Timothy 4:7).
The appointment on Tuesday, in our minds, was to remove the drain tube. We just knew that since we had not been able to drain any fluid for several weeks now that the reason he still felt like he couldn’t breathe was due to the catheter in his chest cavity. However, that would not be the case. Although the tumor in his lung and lymph node was smaller… there was another issue that had been hiding. The drain tube would stay.
We knew it was bad.
Thursday’s appointment confirmed it.
However we never expected that Saturday would be the last day that we shared together. It’s crazy how quickly life can change and throw you.
Tonight I told his story for the first time without crying. I left some things out. Like how very hard it was to let him go. How very hard it was to make that call… to honor Daddy and to honor God.
On the way home tonight as I listened to a song on the radio I couldn’t help but begin to once again ask God why… Why now?
As crazy as it may sound while sitting at a red light, at that moment, God gave me the vision and the feeling of my Daddy’s spirit being finally freed from this body of death. It was just a moment. I wanted to hang on to it and go further, but God took it as quickly as He gave it.
Here’s the thing, the same Holy Spirit that raised my Jesus, that raised my Daddy, lives in me. We are eternally woven together by the Grand Weaver by grace though faith in the Christ and not even death can change that truth. We did not believe the gospel in vain. We still serve and worship the same God, the One True Living God.
…then the dust will return to the earth as it was, and the spirit will return to God who gave it.
Ecclesiastes 12:7
Oh my I miss him. I just want to hug him. I want to bury my head in his chest and see his eyes light up when I tell him what God is doing in the life of his grandkids. I want to talk with him about the church and about the things we could do to reach more people for the Kingdom of Light.
My Daddy left this earth with a good name. His good name is a testimony to his Good God.
Some people he knew through work, a group of people who only saw him when he came though town to deliver items to them came to his funeral. They sent flowers. The florist asked what Daddy was “in to” in order to personalize the flowers. They asked if he was a huge Bama fan, or NASCAR fan, or something of that nature. One of the co-workers said no, all Daddy ever talked about was Jesus and his family. So she told the florist he was a super Christian and that was the best way to describe him. So she told the florist to use the biggest cross she had to represent him in that arrangement.
A good name points others to the gospel and to the only name that saves, the name of Jesus, for there is no other name under heaven that has been given to man by which we must be saved (Acts 4:12).
If it takes my Daddy’s death, my sister-in-law Phillis’ death, or my own to get the living to take this truth to heart… then my Daddy and my Phillis, would willingly accept that cost and so will I.
What I know, that I know, I know, is that God doesn’t waste anything. He will not waste my Daddy’s sufferings and He will not waste my sister-in-law’s sufferings either, just like He did not waste His Son’s
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
Romans 8:18
As my husband reminded us tonight. There are others who have it worse. There are those who do not have the hope and assurance that we have. We know exactly where our loved ones are at and will be and with Who… and we know one day we will be reunited.
My husband also shared how we have to remember that the devil wants us to feel sorry for ourselves. He wants us to sit around and say “woe is me” instead of “glory to God” and well we just are not going to give him what he wants.
We will indeed continue to praise the name of Jesus and give glory to our God.