…and they reported to Him all that they had done and taught. And He said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest a while.” (For there were many people coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.) They went away in the boat to a secluded place by themselves.
Mark 6:30-31
I suppose my Father already knew that I would come home crying last Wednesday night, feeling like I was stuck on a hamster wheel, overwhelmed by a world that never seemed to be satisfied. A world where nothing is ever “done”- not the laundry, the dishes, the lists, the budgets, the running, etc. A world where it doesn’t seem to matter what you accomplish there is always something you forgot…
I came home crying, overwhelmed with life and wondering if this was what ministry was really about… I cried as I shared with my husband how I couldn’t even remember the last time I completed a thought without being interrupted with another thought, a rolodex of unending lists constantly running through my brain. I came home crying as I looked at all the time I had invested in planning events that were not even given the effort to be looked into, papers that were printed to be left laying on the floor, lessons and studies planned, typed, printed, and delivered that appeared never even looked at. I saw my families life being planned out and scheduled a year in advance with obligations for others, who could and would take them or leave them, because for them this was just an “option” for their family.
Then, I add on top of these emotions guilt…
Guilt for having these emotions because I know others are struggling with juggling much more than I.
But God is faithful and my Jesus knew where I would be at this time, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually… And so He already had it in place for my family to come away by ourselves, to a secluded place, to rest.
The crazy thing is that I have to fight feeling guilt for this opportunity to rest…
It is just not in my make-up to not DO.
So for the next few days its just me and Jesus, and my man, and my girls. Confirmation given to fight the wave of guilt in my study time this morning that we are right where we need to be to be able to keep doing what God has called our family to do…
As I continued to study in Mark 6:30-44 and also comparing it with Matthew 14:13-21, Luke 9:12-17, John 6:5-15… I found myself underlining
in Matthew:
They do not need to go away; you give them something to eat!”
And He said, “Bring them here to Me.”
He gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds
in Luke:
You give them something to eat!”
and kept giving them to the disciples to set before the people.
in John:
so that nothing will be lost.
and in Mark:
But He answered them, “You give them something to eat!”
Go look!
He kept giving them to the disciples to set before them
As I looked at the context of this miracle of Christ, I discovered that it occurred as the Passover drew near… as I looked at what I had underlined along with the context of this miracle and let this all sink in, I begin to realize that this miracle was a beautiful lesson for the disciples of Christ. I realized it had nothing to do with the awesomeness of making five loaves and two fish feed thousands of people’s stomaches and it really had nothing to do with letting the disciples see how powerful their Jesus was.
John the Baptist had just been beheaded for standing for the commands of God and for preaching repentance and the coming of the kingdom of heaven…
And Jesus was about to go to the cross.
He had just blessed this bread and broken it and handed it to His disciples and had them hand it to the crowd.
And very soon He would take bread before His disciples and bless it and break it… and proclaim that this bread was His body… broken for them… for us… for me.
And because He was broken, many would be fed… not physical bread, but the Bread of Life.
And we, His disciples, would be the ones to feed them because that’s the way He designed it to be.
The crowds would come to Him and He would give to us what was needed to feed the crowds.
He would keep giving to the disciples so that the disciples could feed the people.
As His disciples we need to see the need of the crowd, of the people, we are to go and look and see what provisions are available, and we are to bring them back to Jesus, and place whatever we have into His hands, and trust that He is more than able to supply whatever is needed.
He is more than enough. He kept giving to the disciples then, and He keeps giving to them now.
The disciples are to feed His sheep.
I wonder if Peter was reminded of this event the day that He sat with His resurrected Lord, partaking of fish that Jesus had provided, and maybe also remembering Jesus’ words to him in the beginning… follow Me and I will make you a fisher of men. Did he think on these things as Jesus repeated to him three times that day feed My sheep.
So though last week I was overwhelmed I am reminded today that it is Jesus that keeps giving to me and I then in turn can give to others… the supply only becomes depleted when I, myself, forget to first bring to Him.
Seek first His kingdom…
See them.
Don’t send them away!
Feed them!
Go look!
Bring to Him…
Know that He will keep giving to His disciples so that they can continue to give to others.
Then go behind them and gather up all that remains so that nothing will be lost.