Flirting With Danger

 

 

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Ladies… those that are still with me… you have made it past the halfway point in the challenge. I do hope that the past seventeen days have been a time of quiet reflection and heart examination and most importantly a time of weeding out deception.

My sister in Christ, I hope you understand how I desire to see you walk in victory. How I desire that you know who you are in Him. How I desire that you know that He can indeed meet your every need. How I desire that you live a life worthy of your calling. How I desire to see the glorious name of Christ magnified through you as you live a life that testifies of His grace and mercy and love and power over the evil one and even over your own heart…

Let us put to death the deeds of the flesh and let us live and walk by the Spirit of our God.

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DAY EIGHTEEN 

Today we are going to begin talking about the power of our words…

What is a four-letter word for a woman’s favorite foreplay activity?

T-A-L-K!

Think about it. What affair has ever taken place without intimate words exchanged? Women often tell me, “I’ve not been unfaithful to my husband. All this man and I have done is talk.”

~ Shannon Ethridge

Ladies, have you heard that one as well?

Have you used that one as well?

Or maybe as a single woman you used this referring to someone else’s husband… with your back straight and your head high maybe you’ve said, “Well I can’t believe his wife is so jealous, I mean good grief, we are just friends, all we have ever done is talk!”

Or as a single girl to a single guy friend you have no intentions of pursuing romantically, “I don’t know why he thought I was in to him, all I ever did was talk with him

Let me ask you… as you talked, what did you talk about? How did you smile? What was your body language like? Where did your hands go while you talked? The longer you talked how deep into their eyes did you look? What would you have done, how would you have felt if their spouse, or your spouse, walked in at that exact moment?

As you asked yourself these questions did you start making excuses?

You can betray with words long before you betray with your body. Be very careful. There is a very thin line between being “a cut-up” and “flirting”. Make sure you do not cross it…

Men and women are different. You may not be doing or saying anything that you wouldn’t do or say if it was another female you were talking to… but this is not another female. This is a male. So be careful. If you are paying attention you will know the moment that you or they have crossed the line.

We must remember what we have already learned… an affair begins long before sexual intercourse ever takes place. It begins in your mind and in your heart. Your words prove it. Then your body acts on it.

 

For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.

The good man brings out of his good treasure what is good;

and the evil man brings out of his evil treasure what is evil.  

But I tell you that every careless word that people speak,

they shall give an accounting for it in the day of judgment.

For by your words you will be justified,

and by your words you will be condemned.”

Matthew 12:34-37

Regardless of her marital status, should a woman stir up a man (emotionally or physically) when she has no intention of pursuing a relationship with him? Is it loving to tease someone with your attentions and affections if you have no desire to fulfill any hopes you may arouse? In my opinion, showing a sincere love and respect for others allows no room for flirting or teasing. 

In my opinion, it is never appropriate for a married woman to behave amorously with anyone other than her husband. If we go back to one of our definitions of a woman of integrity, you’ll remember that she lives a life that lines up with her lips, and vice versa. If we are going to be loyal to our marriage partner, we must demonstrate our faithfulness not just in our actions, but also in our communication with other people. 

Even if you do not have serious intent when you begin batting compliments or overly friendly exchanges with a man, the excitement of those ego strokes can pull you down the road toward sexual compromise, usually slowly, but sometimes at lightning speed.

 

But immorality or any impurity or greed

must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints;

 and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting,

which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks.

 Ephesians 5:3-4

 

Married ladies here’s the trap I think we fall into, our home becomes the place of business and then the office, the school, the ball field, and yes even the church… becomes the playground.

At home you and your spouse discuss the business at hand. What bills need paid, what appointments need met, what chores need done, who needs ran where at what time, etc. Then you go on and take care of business, possibly never even touching each other or even looking each other in the eyes.

But at work, school, church, wherever… it doesn’t matter… there is that person that smiles at you. There is that person who compliments you. There is that person that notices your hard work. There is that person that light-heartedly makes all the comments and winks at you as they say them. They actually look at you when they talk to you. They noticed your new hair-do. They noticed that shirt brought out your eyes. They never once mentioned something you forgot, something you broke, or something you didn’t do just right. So you are giddy… and Satan is getting you ready.

Ladies, let me ask you, when was the last time you “noticed” your husband? When was the last time you complimented him? When was the last time you used your words to just “play” with him? When was the last time you “flirted” with your man?

Today’s challenge, I want you to focus on flipping the playground, if just by chance you are caught in the mundane marriage trap. It most certainly does not have to be that way. Your home can be the playground. It should be the playground.

You know that shirt that is in the closet that you realized is little too low cut to wear out… well, wear it at home for your husband. Make a point to lean into him so that he notices… but not so much to be obvious (don’t act like you don’t how to do this 😉

Make sure you touch him when he walks by you… if you haven’t done this in a while… he is already going to be wondering what is going on. You can just start out with a touch on his arm or placing your hand on his hip as you pass each other in the bathroom or kitchen. You can start out slow and start seducing your husband… He will LOVE it and so will you.

Do not get discouraged if he doesn’t respond for a while, just keep it up. Don’t expect him to do the same to you… this isn’t about you. This is about you honoring your God, and honoring your marriage and honoring your husband and giving any attention that you have been giving away to others back to him.

If you have been just business and routine at home for a while… this is going to blow his mind.

Start flirting with your husband. Make a point to look in his eyes and give him “that look”. My husband knows my looks… he can see my heart through my eyes. I bet yours can too, even if he hasn’t looked in a while. It just might be because he didn’t see himself there anymore.

Make little sexual innuendoes towards him. Ladies, here is the fun of marriage! Your home is where the playground should be.

I remember watching a comedian once, I don’t remember who he was, I am sure he wasn’t a Christian comedian… because it was before I was walking with the Lord… but he was sharing about being out on the road as his comedian act demanded… and of course any man on a “stage” has women after him. He shared how some woman came up to him to seduce him to have sex with her and she said something like “I will do things for you your wife would never do…” He said he just laughed at her and said “You don’t know my wife!”  

You see ladies, that’s the way I want my husband to be able to respond to any seductress! Yes, I want him to honor our marriage out of His obedience and love for God, but I also want him to just flat out enjoy me. So often as Christian women we are uncomfortable with sex because the world has done a mighty fine job of distorting it and making it look “dirty” but sex in the confines of marriage between man and wife is not dirty at all, it is holy.

So let us use our words to flirt and tease with the one that we can actually follow through with our bodies and maintain our emotional and sexual integrity.

Honey, are you willing to become “undignified” and throw all caution to the wind in order to blow your husband’s mind?

 

Bread of Life

 

Moses said to Aaron,

Take a jar and put an omerful of manna in it,

and place it before the LORD

to be kept throughout your generations.’ 

Exodus 16:33

 

The children of Israel dined on this manna the entire time they were in the wilderness. The manna came until the day they came to the land of Canaan. The land of Canaan was to be the promised land. This manna was to sustain them until they made it to the promised land. The manna came every day for five days and on the sixth day double came to sustain through the seventh day in which no manna would fall, because it was the day of rest.

God commanded Moses to preserve an omerful of the manna in a jar. In 2 Corinthians 4:7 the Word of God declares, “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels…” What treasure do we have in our earthen vessel, but the treasure of the Holy Spirit. My friend, I believe this manna just might be a picture of the Holy Spirit of the Trinity.

I am going to attempt to layout a timeline for you. Our God created the heavens and the earth in six days and on the seventh he rested. In 2 Peter 3:8 the Word tells us that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years is like one day. If we look through the Biblical years of the earth we see that we are in our six thousandth of years.

The Holy Spirit has been an active presence on the earth in the lives of men since the beginning. We read how he came upon those anointed of God. He led Saul, yet He left him when Saul refused to obey Him. He led David, and David cried out for Him not to leave him when he had sinned against God. He worked in and through the lives of the prophets and those willing to stand up and be faithful to the Living God. The Holy Spirit, though evident and active did not take up permanent residence in man. However, in this six thousandth year things are different for the people of God.

In Hebrews 7:9 we read that there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God. Could that rest possibly be the millennial reign spoken of in Revelation 20:4-6? Could the millennial reign be the seven thousandth of years? 

If it is, could it be that God has given us this double portion of the Holy Spirit in order to survive this sixth day so that we may get to that rest on the Sabbath, the seventh day? In Revelation 12:12 we read that the devil has great wrath in these last days because he knows he only has a short time. Yet our God has not left us without sufficient power (manna) to overcome him.

Oh my friend, in this six thousandth of years God has given a double portion of His Spirit to those who trust in His commandments and His instruction to listen to His Son in whom He is well-pleased (Matthew 17:5). His Spirit is not only active and evident to all men but to those who are trusting Him for the seventh day, He has taken up permanent residence within them.  

In John 6:48-49 Jesus said, “I am the bread of life. Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died.” There were many who ate this manna. The manna fell for all, the righteous and the unrighteous, “for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” (Matthew 5:45)

In Hebrews 6:4-6 we are told about those who have tasted the heavenly gift, they tasted the manna, they have tasted the Word of God. They have seen and experienced His power, yet they fall away from Him. They refused to trust Him for that sabbath day. When it came time to step into the promised land, they refused. They came to the border, but they would not step across.    

Oh precious one, the Holy Spirit has come and He brings us to the border of Christ. He opens our eyes, He gives us a taste, and He gives us the slightest nudge, and whispers step into the Promised Land.

My friend, have you crossed that border?

Have you been transferred from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of Light?

If not… what are you waiting for? 

Today is the day of salvation… all are welcome to partake of the Bread of Life

Oh Father,

Thank You for Your Bread of Life. Thank You for the rest that is ours in You alone. You have told us in Isaiah 30:15 that it is in repentance and rest that we are saved. Turning away from that wilderness and walking in faith into the promised land of the Kingdom of Christ and resting in Him. Knowing that He is my strength and He is my trust and He alone will supply my daily bread, my every need. 

My Jesus, it is in Your name I pray,

Amen  

Obee Kabee

What is it about the dentist that makes you feel twelve years old again?

Or is it just me? 

I went today to the dentist to get a broken tooth fixed. I have never broken a tooth before… so I didn’t know what to expect. In my mind I was going to walk in and have a seat in the chair and the dentist would get out some white goup stick it in the hole, harden it, and send me on my way out the door. No biggie, right? 

Oh my, that was not how it went at all.

When I saw the numbing stuff coming at me and being stuck in my mouth with a big q-tip, panic arose in my chest and I said to the dentist “Ummm I was not prepared for a shot?!? I’m pretty sure my blood pressure is going up now.” She laughed and said, “well your normal.

Well I am not feeling so normal!

My hands are now sweating, my heart is racing and my kids are watching… so I begin to text my husband for moral support and I am secretly wishing he was here holding my hand… but would you believe no answer, ugh.

Then here she comes with the needle and she sees that I am obviously shook  so she tells me to close my eyes.

YES!

HELLO!

I now so want my Momma holding my hand. How crazy is that… I mean, geez, I am thirty-five years old. 

The shots of course take forever… they are not normal shots, they last and last and last and last and last. Then she says, “Are you okay?” I bravely nod yes, even though I really want to say “no, can my ten year old come over here and hold my hand please?”  Then she says “I think we are going to put some more medicine in.” WHAT? another shot??

I am trying to control my breathing, my eyes are closed, and yes I am singing, “our God is greater, our God is stronger, our God is higher than any other” in my head because I need my God at the dentist as much as I need Him anywhere else.      

After the shots the dentist walks away to let them take effect… things start going numb. My lip, my tongue, my cheek, the corner of my eye, my ear, my neck… I begin to wonder now if I am going to be able to breathe as my neck numbs. 

Then she returns with the drill and pointy things and… a spoon (I heard her ask for this, but I have no clue what it is).  I do really well at the beginning because I have decided to be brave but after a while panic begins to set in and my feet start twitching and my hands start rubbing and I forget the lyrics to “Our God” (yes that is how headed to freak-out mode I was). So I resort to Lord Prepare Me to be a Sanctuary but the rest of the words eluded me and so I run to old faithful… “Jesus loves me this I know” 

Oh me… so glad it’s over!

Anyway, all that to post this just for your enjoyment 🙂

 

Aroused, Attached, Addicted

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Okay ladies, I hope you took the time yesterday to truly examine your heart and your relationships. I hope that the questions helped you to do that… now for any of you who in this process of examination realized that they were indeed too emotionally connected to someone who was not their husband, or was someone else’s husband (even if you have not let that person know about your feelings, however if you have let them know and they reciprocate those feelings, then you are involved in an emotional affair), or if you have allowed someone to get emotionally connected to you, just to feed your ego, when you have no intentions of ever reciprocating these emotions… then today we will discuss what to do now.

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Day Seventeen

What to do if you have realized that you have crossed the line of emotional integrity:

First, ask God for forgiveness. An emotional affair may not be as big a deal as a physical affair in the world’s eyes, but all sin is equal in God’s eyes. As you are praying for forgiveness, also ask God to reveal whether you should confess your sin to your spouse. As terrifying as this thought may be, don’t let fear convince you that keeping it secret is the best thing for your marriage.

 If we confess our sins,

He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins

and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness

1 John 1:9

 

Next, pray for God’s divine protection, not just over your body, but over your heart, mind, and mouth as well. …but make sure this [other] person doesn’t become the focus of your prayers.

O LORD, I call upon You; hasten to me!
Give ear to my voice when I call to You!
May my prayer be counted as incense before You;
The lifting up of my hands as the evening offering.
Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth;
Keep watch over the door of my lips.
Do not incline my heart to any evil thing,
To practice deeds of wickedness
With men who do iniquity;
And do not let me eat of their delicacies.

Psalm 141:1-4

Third, avoid any unnecessary contact with this person.  In the same way that you might have gone out of your way to cross this person’s path, now go out of your way to stay out of his path… Remember actions speak louder than words. When you refuse to remain in the presence of temptation, it loses its hold on you.

 Rise up! Consecrate the people and say,

‘Consecrate yourselves for tomorrow,

for thus the LORD, the God of Israel, has said,

 “There are things under the ban in your midst, O Israel.

You cannot stand before your enemies

until you have removed the things under the ban from your midst.”

 Joshua 7:13

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But put on the Lord Jesus Christ,

and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.

Romans 13:14

 

Finally, seek a trusted friend or counselor to hold you accountable through this season of temptation. If you know you are going to have to answer to someone else- whether it is your husband, a friend, or a counselor- about your thoughts, words, and actions, you’ll try harder to limit them to things you wouldn’t be embarrassed to admit. Getting real and honest with yourself and with someone who can keep you from falling into the pit of compromise is the best lifeline available.

Therefore, confess your sins to one another,

and pray for one another so that you may be healed.

The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.

James 5:16

 

My experience has been that if you starve your desire to be emotionally intimate with a man, it eventually dies. The more you control your appetite for forbidden fruit, the more dignity and satisfaction you will feel about yourself and your ability to be a woman of sexual and emotional integrity.

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Let us remember that emotional arousal and attachment is the red light.

Now I want to address those who might have already ran the red light. I want to address those who are in an emotional affair and might even be so far as to be addicted to emotional affairs. I understand that if you are here most likely it is because you have chosen to use these emotions as some kind of balm for your pain. Maybe you are married to an abusive husband, whether that abuse is emotional, verbal, or physical, and you have used this emotional affair as an escape from your reality. Please know that this is not going to get you any where. It is only going to cause you greater hurt in the end. 

Shannon shares that rather than running to the Ultimate Healer for relief from our emotional wounds, women often make idols of relationships- worshiping a man instead of God. We begin submitting to a man’s and our own unholy desires rather than submitting to God’s desires for our holiness and purity, thus becoming a slave to our passions. When we peel back the layers of this issue, we can see the core problem: doubt that God can truly satisfy our innermost needs  

I’ve known many women who have journeyed to this depth of desperation, hoping to find something to fill the void in their hearts, only to discover that the pit was far deeper, darker, and more lonely than they could have imagined. I’m one of those women, but after many years of focusing my attentions and affections on my first love (Jesus Christ) and my second love (my husband), my life is a testimony to God’s changing grace. In His lavish love, God’s arm of mercy reaches further than we could ever fall. 

Ladies, let me assure you that God’s way is the best way. Do not let the enemy or the world or the greatness of your pain lead you down the path of destruction. There is grace and mercy and hope in Christ. Do not doubt the grace of God. Do not doubt His ability to meet your every need, to meet you where you are at. Do not doubt His ability to heal your heart and to heal your marriage. Don’t run to band-aids and ointments that only treat the symptoms and mask the cause. Get to the heart of the matter, go for the root, and trust God. 

Now if you are still doubting that God can meet your needs… Shannon has a challenge for you. So here’s your challenge for today… some more questions to ponder: 

*Have I really invested much time getting to know God personally and intimately?

*Do I read the Bible searching for clues as to God’s character and plan for my life?

*Have I given God as many chances as I have given other men? fantasy? Internet chat room?

*Have I ever made the choice to pray or to dance to worship music or to go for a walk with God instead of picking up the phone to call a guy when I’m lonely?

*Are there moments spent alone (masturbating, fantasizing, reading or looking at inappropriate materials, and so on) that I ignore God’s presence in an attempt to satisfy myself?

*Do I believe God can satisfy every single need I have?

*Am I willing to test this belief by letting go of all things, people, and thoughts that I use to medicate my pain, fear, loneliness, and becoming totally dependent upon God?

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[If during the course of this challenge you have realized that you have ran past the red light of emotional attachment and affairs and realize that you are in fact addicted to emotional connections and romantic affairs having realized as you examined your life and actions that you were no longer concerned about who got hurt, but was only concerned about having your own hurts covered and eased, then please seek help at www.everywomansbattle.com. Your addiction is real. You are caught in the cycle of seeking relief for your pain in a way that causes more pain thus leading you to seek relief from that pain causing more pain… etc. You don’t have to suffer in silence.]