I sit here now writing this last minute review as a mother overwhelmed. I have been sick for a month, have been run ragged by my own commitments, and by helping my children to keep their commitments, as I play taxi and finder of everything lost. The laundry is behind, the sink is full of dirty dishes, the floors need mopped… again. I have been interrupted at least a dozen times this morning as I try to write this with phone calls from my husband and “Momma, I can’t find it!”… well I could go on, but I won’t.
Because these today are not my list of complaints.
Today these are reminders of my many blessings.
So let me start over.
I sit here now writing this last minute review as a mother overwhelmed. Even though I have been sick for a month my sickness has not caused me to be unable to meet the needs of my family and ministry. I am thankful that I am run ragged because it means that somehow God has enabled me to not only keep my own commitments but has also enabled me to help my children to keep their commitments. I thank God that I have reliable transportation and gas money so that I can play taxi for my girls. I also am thankful that God has blessed me with my supermom x-ray vision and supersonic brain GPS internal tracking system so that I can be the finder of everything lost. I am thankful that my family has enough clothing to have so much laundry that I actually am able to get behind on it. I am thankful that we have a house full of food and are able to eat and fill the sink full of dirty dishes. I am thankful that the floors need mopped… again, because it means my loved ones, my treasures, have been close to me all week and their physical presence is in our home. I am so grateful to have been interrupted at least a dozen times this morning as I try to write this with phone calls from my husband because it means he thinks of me when he is gone and I am the one he wants to share all his news with first. I am thankful for the interruptions of “Momma, I can’t find it!” in the middle of the morning because it means my children are home with me and I still have the great and awesome privilege of homeschooling them.
I am thankful for the mess. For the mess of motherhood. For the mess of family… because it is a blessing from my God. I am surrounded by treasures. Daily treasures… they call me Wife and they call me Momma. They are my priority before all else only coming behind my God… so I am thankful that this review is last minute because it means that this week I had my priorities in proper place.
I have spent the month making memories and recording my treasures as they were off to see the Wizard of Oz. My girls were in a play that required a lot of practice and they performed ten shows. I spent the month recording them in my mind and on my phone and with my camera. I spent the month texting the adorable things they said and did to my husband when he could not be there because he was at work providing for us. It didn’t matter that the laundry piled up, or the sink, or that there are a few spots in the floors that your sock might stick too… I made memories with my treasures.
I was reminded that I made the right choice as I listened to Daily Treasure by Lorrie Flem, like she said, one day they will not need a taxi, one day the dishes will only be for two, one day it will take longer for the laundry to actually pile up… and I almost cry now thinking about that day. So I think I am going to choose to enjoy today’s treasure now and be oh so very thankful for the mess.
*Disclaimer: I receive Eternal Encouragement products for free in return for an honest review
Obviously your heart needs to be a primary concern if you hope to be a woman of sexual and emotional integrity. It’s one thing to determine how far is too far physically in a premarital or extramarital relationship, but it’s another to answer how far is too far emotionally. What are the emotional boundaries?
~Shannon Ethridge
Okay ladies, today we are going to learn some tools to stand against the enemy and to guard our hearts. The best tools are knowledge and love. Love without knowledge is foolishness and knowledge without love is dangerous. We need both at the same time.
but grow in the grace and knowledge
of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
2 Peter 3:18
Because lawlessness is increased,
most people’s love will grow cold.
Matthew 24:12
As the knowledge of the true Word of God slips away out of our society we see society’s love grow cold. When the Word of God is not renewing our own mind… we will find our love growing cold. Real love, sacrificial love, obedient love… will grow cold apart from the Word of God. As lawlessness increases in our day we see our society remove itself farther and farther away from the truthof the Word.
If you take a moment to think about a time that you chose to allow a certain sin in your life, a time of lawlessness, what was your love like? Was it sacrificial or selfish? Was it on fire for God or going through the motions? Did you hunger for the Word or did you not want It near you?
We must never stop growing in the grace and knowledge of our God because the moment we do our love begins to cool and it won’t be long before we are chilled to the bone.
but speaking the truth in love,
we are to grow up in all aspects into Him
who is the head, even Christ,
Ephesians 4:15
I used to have my list of sins that a “real” Christian could never commit, if they were indeed a “real” Christian. However, as I have grown in the grace and knowledge and love of God in my own life I have learned that a Christian is not an exception to humanity.
Our condemnation just falls harder from the enemy because we “are supposed to know better”. But the truth is sometimes we just don’t know enough. Granted most of the time it’s because we simply have not taken the time to know more. We have become easily satisfied with whatever the preacher delivers us on Sunday mornings instead of feeding ourselves daily.
Daniel was the man in Scripture who was called a man of high esteem, he had uncompromising integrity. Do you think that just might be because he prayed to our God three times a day? Morning, noon, and night he called on the Lord… let us be willing to give our God the same… to seek Him… to be in constant fellowship with Him. He is only a prayer away.
I hope that these past fifteen days have been a time of growth for you and also a time of amazing fellowship with your Creator as you have focused on getting the “other” things out of the way to make more room for Him in your heart.
Day Sixteen
I want to be a woman of sexual and emotional integrity. I lived a life so far from God and His Word and I blasphemed His name among the lost because I still called myself a Christian as I lived a life that in no way represented who I claimed to be. I thank God that He is aware that I am but dust. He saw my ignorance and passed over my sin and chose even still to forgive me and to give me life.
Today I am going to share the tools with you that Shannon share’s in her book to help us walk in sexual and emotional integrity. Because the last thing I want to do is blaspheme His name among the lost again. The enemy of our souls knows how to bring us down and he knows the power of emotional manipulation and sexual temptation. Don’t think he won’t use it against us. Don’t think that he will not take the bond that is formed by believers in the unity of the Holy Spirit and try to pervert it.
Shannon share five stages of emotional connection and has them marked with a green light, a yellow light, and a red light to let us know when all is good, when we need to be careful, and when we need to stop and back the truck up.
Emotional connections:
(1) attention
(2) attraction
(3) affection
(4) arousal and attachment
(5) affairs and addiction
Attention, this is based on what we see, whereas attraction is based on what we hear.
That’s why you may see someone, they have caught your attention and you may think, “hmmmmm” but then they open their mouth and you think “ughhhh, ewwwww”.
Or you see someone and go “ughhhh, ewwwww” and then they open their mouth and you go “ohhhhhhh”.
Now in attractionyou become familiar enough with the person to know you are drawn to him, but you are not yet familiar enough to act affectionately toward that person.
Both attention and attraction are not limited to men but include a wide variety of things: the kind of clothes we like, the style of house we prefer, and the type of food we crave.
When you go to church or business meetings, you probably are drawn to certain individuals but not to others. The woman who became your friend is probably someone you run to when you need a hug or have really good news to share.
Society has twisted our minds into thinking that if we are drawn to someone, we must want to have sex with them. But attraction isn’t necessarily sexual.
(Personally I believe this lie and twisting of attention and attraction and affection is one of the tools that the enemy has used to convince many that they must be homosexual or bisexual to feel the way they do. We will discuss this in more depth later in the challenge)
When we find ourselves attracted to someone we then begin to move into showing that person affection. Here is where the green light goes to yellow. Here is where you, married or single, have to pay close attention to your motives and your actions. We show affection in many ways and to many individuals. We not only show our husband affection, but we also show our children affection through cards, hugs, helps, words, etc. We also show our friends affection in similar ways and we can safely do this with our male friends also if we watch our motives.
Married women, here are some questions you need to prayerfully ask yourself before you show any type of affection to a man who is not your husband.
* What is my motive for making this expression of affection? Is it appropriate?
* Am I trying to show genuine appreciation for this individual, or do I have a hidden agenda?
* Am I using affection to draw this person into a deeper relationship?
* Could this expression be misinterpreted in such a way that this man would be confused, tempted, or suspicious of my motives?
*Is this expression of affection one that I wouldn’t mind my spouse knowing about?
Single women, here are some for you:
*Is this person unattached? Does this person have a “significant other” in his life who would be concerned with how I express affection toward him?
*Is my expression of affection in line with the current level of my relationship with this person?
*Do I sense that this man has personal feelings for me that I do not reciprocate? If so, would signs of affection give him the impression that I am interested in more than friendship when, in fact, I am not?
*Could this expression of affection be interpreted as seductive, or does it truly express godly character?
Now we are getting into the red light district, Emotional Arousal and Attachment. Now if you are a single woman then this is still in the yellow light for you, that is if the man is also single, but if you are married and you are at emotional arousal and attachment with a man that is not your husband, RED LIGHT!
Emotional arousal occurs when we are stirred romantically by someone, and it usually precedes most sexual activity because our heart determines the direction of our mind and body.
How can you tell the difference between attraction or affection and emotional arousal and attachment toward a man? Here are some questions to ask…
* Do you think of this man often (several times each day) even though he is not around?
* Do you select your daily attire based on whether you will see this person?
* Do you go out of your way to run into him, hoping he will notice you?
*Do you look for excuses to call him so you can hear his voice?
* Do you find reasons to email him, eagerly anticipating his response?
* Do you wonder is he feels any attraction towards you?
* Do you want to talk or spend time alone with this person, out of earshot or eyesight of anyone else?
Your challenge today is to spend time examining your heart and your friendships, especially those with the opposite sex. Ask yourself these questions and see where you are at in your emotional and sexual integrity. Tomorrow we will look at what to do if you have found yourself caught up in an emotional affair or have even progressed into an addiction…
Precious one, there is forgiveness and there is hope.
Now as we look at Exodus 16, we see that God is going to send the meat that the children of Israel grumbled for straight into the camp and He is going to rain down bread from heaven. The provisions that God will send will come with specific instructions that require perfect obedience in order for it to be consumed. When God institutes a way, it is the only way, and compromise and concession will not cut it.
The frustrating thing is that this group of people, these whom passed through the Red Sea, still do not get it. The Lord, once again, does exactly as He said He would, yet the people still choose to doubt Him. God commanded them to take only what they needed for the day and save none, for there would be more tomorrow. Yet the children of Israel gathered extra and tried to store it for later, but it turned foul and bred worms.
God then commanded them on the sixth day to gather twice as much, for on the seventh day there would be none. However, once again, the children of Israel doubt God and His word and they go out on the seventh day to gather manna.
How God withheld His wrath upon these people is beyond me. Then again, how God withholds His wrath upon myself is also beyond me. This is why He is God and we are not. Oh, how patient our Creator is with us. This is why He can be trusted and should never be doubted.
In John 14:9 Jesus is speaking with His disciples and He turns to them and says “Have I been so long with you and yet you have not come to know Me?” How long must we walk with the awesome awareness of a Holy God before we get it?
Oh precious one, let us get it!
Let us lay aside all doubt.
Let us lay aside all human reasoning.
Let us lay side the confines of the temporal and let us pick up the vastness of our infinite God. Stop looking at life through the eyes of your head and begin seeing it with the eyes of your heart.
In 1 John 5:3 we read “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome.”
In 2 John 1:6 we read, “And this is love, that we walk according to His commandments.”
How long can we refuse to keep the commandments and instructions of God and still claim that we love Him? God has clearly demonstrated His great love for us. Let us in return demonstrate our love to Him by walking in obedience to Him.
Obeying Him shows that we trust Him. We can’t say that we trust God when we disobey His Word, because our actions will prove us a liar. If you love Him, trust Him, and if you trust Him, obey Him.
Oh Father,
How thankful I am that You are patient with me. Forgive me for the many times that I have tested that patience. Oh Father, You opened my eyes so that I would be able to turn from the darkness of the kingdom of Satan to You, my God, and the kingdom of my Christ (Acts 26:18). You opened my eyes that I might recieve forgiveness for my sins and the indwelling of Your Holy Spirit and now I pray that You would open the eyes of my heart that I might know the breadth, length, height, and depth of Your love for me (Ephesians 3:18). The more I understand of Your love the more compelled I am to obey Your every Word in the hope that somehow in someway I might show You how grateful I am to be so loved by You.
Your recent advertising commercials are appalling! How dare you display such vulgarity… and during prime time hours. I am sitting in my home watching the weather on my local news channel and I have your disgusting ad thrown in mine and my ten year old and seven year old daughters faces. I write a blog, have a facebook page and a twitter and you better believe that I will use whatever sphere of influence I have to discourage anyone from giving Hardees any business as long as this is the kind of trash you are going to choose to produce with our money.
Yes I am angry.
If you have seen these ads and you are angry too, then pass on my letter or better yet write your own.
Many blessings in Christ…
The writing and teachings of Nicole Love Halbrooks Vaughn
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